Hiring a Doula

[Mandynee22]

Is anyone thinking of doing this?
I totally am seriously considering it. My hospital is very natural friendly and my Drs are awesome but there's a good chance DP will be on the road (he usually is) and I don't want to be by myself!
How early/late do you start the interview or whatever process? What kind of stuff do you ask?

[ivymae]

We had a doula with our first, and she was amazing. Her main role ended up as Tom's support, since she was able to give him ideas on how to help me, bring him water, and just remind him that "this is normal, she is doing great". It was a new experience for him as well, and he did not have the benefit of the endorphins I had.

And even though this is our third, and we're planning a homebirth, if I have to switch to a hospital birth for whatever reason, I would want a doula. It's a new system to navigate, and having someone who has been on that path before is worth it to me.

If price is an issue, our doula was working on her DONA certification, and even though she had been to a dozen births, she had to have a certain number after the class. Since she was not fully certified, we paid her half of her usual fee, which was great because we were both students at the time. She met with us twice at our home, answering questions, talking about our birth plan, etc, and then answered our 2am call and met us at the birth center when I was in labor. She stayed with us through the entire birth (and acted as photographer when she had free hands) and left when we left the birth center (a few hours after the birth).

[Riverbeauty]

I had a Doula with my first but she never showed up when I was in labor... she gave great massages during my 3rd trimester of pregnancy though....

This time I have hired a Doula who is a good friend of mine, she is also the local ICAN chapter leader. She is one amazing woman!

[DoulaAlicia]

I'm a doula! I usually get client requests 3 months before the birth on average. BUT I've had some interview me before pregnancy or in early pregnancy - a good chunk with 4-6 months to go. And another good chunk the last month or two before birth.

I would say 4-6 months before birth if you want the doula of your choice. I'm finding as i get more experience and become highly recommended I sometimes am full 4 months in advance. And I'm sure other more experienced doulas may be full earlier...don't know.

Things to ask...hmmm. I know DONA has a list somewhere of common things to ask. Here are some recommendations aside from the standard stuff:

1) How do you treat each woman uniquely in labor (i.e. a woman who needs a doula who is quiet and keeps a backseat role vs a woman who might need help every contraction). You want a doula who doesn't treat every birth and woman the same. Everyone is different and it is impossible to know BEFORE labor how you will be.

2) Does she charge more if your labor goes long? Most don't do this but I know a couple who do and think that is awful!!

3) Will she support your partner in being your main support if this is what you want?

4) How many births does she take in a month?

5) What kind of pain coping techniques does she utilize i.e. breathing, positions, etc. ways to avoid back labor, cesarean?

6) Does her birth philosophy match yours? Most doulas have their own opinions but should be open to ANY birth you choose even if it is medicated or cesarean etc... and should support you through that in a positive way.

7) Does she perform the "information" aspect of a doulas role or just emotional and physical. For my clients I make sure I have lots of resource information about pitocin, epi's, other decisions that they have to make, postdates risks, cesarean, alternatives, other places to birth a breech baby, referrals for help with depression, lactation consultants....information can be important.

8) I've heard some doulas actually can become rude with hospital staff, physically pull knives out of their hands if they are going to cut an episiotomy. And some women desire a doula who would do this. I on the other hand try to empower the parents to make decisions for themselves. If I see a crappy recommendation from a medical care provider going on at a birth we talk about that decision privately. Or if an episiotomy is going to be cut in a non-emergent situation I can turn to my client and ask her if she wants this done. So decide which kind of doula you want and ask your doula what she would do.

9) Prenatals and Postpartum visits. What do they entail. Some doulas do more. I do up to THREE before and after. I include education, birth art, massage and footbath, birth plan, pictures and more in these visits. Postpartum will she come back the next day if you are having breastfeeding trouble or will she not see you for a week or two? I come back for anything up to three times, sometimes to help someone with cloth diapering or even watch the baby for a couple of hours. I take phone calls/e-mails months after the birth troubleshooting new baby issues.

So - basically do you have someone who you bond with? Someone who looks like they LOVE the job! And is knowledgeable, passionate, and respectful.

[Mandynee22]

Originally Posted by DoulaAlicia

I'm a doula! I usually get client requests 3 months before the birth on average. BUT I've had some interview me before pregnancy or in early pregnancy - a good chunk with 4-6 months to go. And another good chunk the last month or two before birth.

I would say 4-6 months before birth if you want the doula of your choice. I'm finding as i get more experience and become highly recommended I sometimes am full 4 months in advance. And I'm sure other more experienced doulas may be full earlier...don't know.

Things to ask...hmmm. I know DONA has a list somewhere of common things to ask. Here are some recommendations aside from the standard stuff:

1) How do you treat each woman uniquely in labor (i.e. a woman who needs a doula who is quiet and keeps a backseat role vs a woman who might need help every contraction). You want a doula who doesn't treat every birth and woman the same. Everyone is different and it is impossible to know BEFORE labor how you will be.

2) Does she charge more if your labor goes long? Most don't do this but I know a couple who do and think that is awful!!

3) Will she support your partner in being your main support if this is what you want?

4) How many births does she take in a month?

5) What kind of pain coping techniques does she utilize i.e. breathing, positions, etc. ways to avoid back labor, cesarean?

6) Does her birth philosophy match yours? Most doulas have their own opinions but should be open to ANY birth you choose even if it is medicated or cesarean etc... and should support you through that in a positive way.

7) Does she perform the "information" aspect of a doulas role or just emotional and physical. For my clients I make sure I have lots of resource information about pitocin, epi's, other decisions that they have to make, postdates risks, cesarean, alternatives, other places to birth a breech baby, referrals for help with depression, lactation consultants....information can be important.

8) I've heard some doulas actually can become rude with hospital staff, physically pull knives out of their hands if they are going to cut an episiotomy. And some women desire a doula who would do this. I on the other hand try to empower the parents to make decisions for themselves. If I see a crappy recommendation from a medical care provider going on at a birth we talk about that decision privately. Or if an episiotomy is going to be cut in a non-emergent situation I can turn to my client and ask her if she wants this done. So decide which kind of doula you want and ask your doula what she would do.

9) Prenatals and Postpartum visits. What do they entail. Some doulas do more. I do up to THREE before and after. I include education, birth art, massage and footbath, birth plan, pictures and more in these visits. Postpartum will she come back the next day if you are having breastfeeding trouble or will she not see you for a week or two? I come back for anything up to three times, sometimes to help someone with cloth diapering or even watch the baby for a couple of hours. I take phone calls/e-mails months after the birth troubleshooting new baby issues.

So - basically do you have someone who you bond with? Someone who looks like they LOVE the job! And is knowledgeable, passionate, and respectful.

Thank you! That was really helpful. Glad to have you here LOL (I'm due the same day)
What's your take on a doula in training? Saving money like a PP said is a plus and my OB practice and hospital are both non scary (low c sec rates, low intervention, totally respectful, we make a birth plan before hand etc). It seems like a lot of the stuff that you mentioned are things I, personally, probably won't need.
Really, I want someone to be there, especially if DP can't. I had a friend with me last time which was fine and she still talks about it but I felt like I was taking up her time, ya know? That's just my own mind LOL. I really need someone to cheer me on, basically- someone who understands what I'm going through. The last two times I have given birth at this hospital I was the only one so I did get lots of the nurses attention but who knows? There might actually be someone else in need this time LMAO
There's also a breastfeeding center one town over from me with IBLACs that you can make an appointment to see for nothing (HUGE PLUS LOL)
I can't believe that a doula would pull a knife out of the Drs hand. Yikes
Would A training doula be a good idea do you think? Or is experience always something that you would consider super important?

[Riverbeauty]

the Doula who abandoned me was in training... not that all Doulas-in-training are like that but still...

http://choicespirit.blogspot.com/200...eal-lives.html

[CamoShades]

I'm hiring a doula, and since I'm going for a VBAC, I wanted to get started early. I actually contacted two in the area in hopes that they'd have suggestions for VBAC-friendly OBs in my network (our HMO doesn't give me the option of seeing a midwife), and one has given me a few names. I don't want to get to the hospital too early and be labeled "failure to progress," so hopefully the doula will be able to help me in that regard. I didn't labor with DD (she was Frank breech, and after some unfavorable test retults, I was called and informed I'd have to come in the next day for a c-section), so I'm really looking forward to having the support at home and then in the hospital.

[Carley]

I had 2 doulas at my homebirth, one certified and one in training - they were amazing. I will absolutely have them again... it was the best experience of my life!

I was in labor a very long time - 48 hours of prodromal labor (5m apart contractions) & 24 hours of active. They were there for me for my entire active labor & allowed my husband to rest so he could be present in the thick of it.

I can't even communicate how valuable and amazing they were. I can't imagine my birth without them!

They even tucked us into bed in the morning, stayed for the removal of the birth tub, cleaned everything up and cooked us breakfast! AMAZING!

[Mandynee22]

Carley- what a great story!! Thank you for sharing
Camo- I would def hire a doula too! I really hope you get what you're looking for
River- I'm not even all the way through your story and I don't know who's ruder- the OB practices, the hospital, the nurses, the rude doula (wth is "real labor"?)... wow. I'm so sorry that this happened to you

[SuzieQ3417]

I am thinking about hiring a doula for my birth. Since it's both mine and my husband's first time going through all of this, I feel like we would really benefit from a good coach who can help guide us through the process. Plus, they really seem to help decrease the need for various interventions, which I love.

My only concern is the cost. The doula's in my area (at least the ones with websites, though I'll also ask my midwife who she recommends) charge $800...and I'm not sure if my insurance (bluecross) will cover any of it. Granted that includes tons of visits and 24-hr access, but it's still kinda pricey. Even if my insurance doesn't cover it, I still think I will scrape together some cash to pay for one - I really feel like it's worth it. I have to keep reminding myself that we've been saving up for a baby over the past 6 months, and since I plan on buying a lot of the big ticket items used off of craigslist or consignment shops I may have money left over from that fund to put towards the cost of a doula. Baby won't care if they have a used crib, right? lol

[Riverbeauty]

Originally Posted by Mandynee22

Carley- what a great story!! Thank you for sharing
Camo- I would def hire a doula too! I really hope you get what you're looking for
River- I'm not even all the way through your story and I don't know who's ruder- the OB practices, the hospital, the nurses, the rude doula (wth is "real labor"?)... wow. I'm so sorry that this happened to you

thanks for reading it... it really is important that people know things like this happen, so they can prepare.... ESPECIALLY first time moms! If I had known half of that was even POSSIBLE....

[ann_of_loxley]

I am going to do this. I plan an HBAC and feel I need that support. DH is great - but I dont want or feel I need him on this. Hes gonna be there to hold his child, but thats all I expect him to do.

[DoulaAlicia]

Originally Posted by Mandynee22

Thank you! That was really helpful. Glad to have you here LOL (I'm due the same day)
What's your take on a doula in training? Saving money like a PP said is a plus and my OB practice and hospital are both non scary (low c sec rates, low intervention, totally respectful, we make a birth plan before hand etc). It seems like a lot of the stuff that you mentioned are things I, personally, probably won't need.
Really, I want someone to be there, especially if DP can't. I had a friend with me last time which was fine and she still talks about it but I felt like I was taking up her time, ya know? That's just my own mind LOL. I really need someone to cheer me on, basically- someone who understands what I'm going through. The last two times I have given birth at this hospital I was the only one so I did get lots of the nurses attention but who knows? There might actually be someone else in need this time LMAO
There's also a breastfeeding center one town over from me with IBLACs that you can make an appointment to see for nothing (HUGE PLUS LOL)
I can't believe that a doula would pull a knife out of the Drs hand. Yikes
Would A training doula be a good idea do you think? Or is experience always something that you would consider super important?

Tough question on the experience thing. I think my experience has helped a lot of Moms avoid cesarean, intervention, breastfeeding trouble and more. It just has. When I look back to my "inexperienced days" I hit myself in the head for some of the mistakes I made. I'm sure we all do this....I just know a lot of little tricks to make someone have a good experience. I can anticipate what a Mom will need next, when it is time to suggest the tub or when she just needs a cold rag. I'm very good at guessing how many cm dilated a woman is or what kind of emotional support is needed when labor is running long. I can sense what dr.'s and nurses are thinking if there is a problem and we can work to avoid negative outcomes by discussing things in advance. So, experience is quite valuable.

That being said if you are an experienced Mom, feel VERY comfortable laboring and feel VERY comfortable about your other support people and birthing environment then a doula in training might work just great with you. She could give that extra set of hands and emotional/physical support that you need.

I think an interview with a couple experienced doulas and a couple in training might give you a better idea of who you want at your birth. Gotta go with who you trust and bond with at the interview.