June Mommies Feb 1-7 - Page 2

[eilonwy]

I had an ultrasound yesterday...

... we're having a











BABY! :LOL :LOL :LOL

I wanted to see the gender, but every time they looked we saw feet or legs. I'm like "great, the baby's got wide feet, we knew that was gonna happen going into this!" :LOL

Everything that we could see looked fine, but we couldn't see everything. The Dr who did the ultrasound (genetic counselor, actually) said that he'd rather see things more clearly, but as far as he could tell there was nothing wrong, and size-wise the baby is growing nicely.

I am incredibly frustrated not to know the gender, it just drives me crazy! And now Dh and I have to fight about boy names again, I was really hoping that we'd be able to avoid it or to at least know that the struggle wasn't for naught, kwim? Argh!

Seedling and Ana, I'll keep you in my thoughts. I know all about not getting the pregnancy or birth experience that you want.

[Mummoth]

Most of my family just thinks AP is just way more work than is necessary. : When he was a newborn, they CONSTANTLY wanted me to put him down, when he fell asleep. Roland was a VERY light sleeper, si I'd just put him down, and he would wake instantly. Then I'd just nurse him back to sleep, and not put him down. Eventually, my mom started asking if she could hold him for me, instead. He'd stay asleep... as long as he was in arms.

I had one confrontation about not having circumsized him. Word must have gone around in the family (starting from whom, I don't know) because we were at Grandmas for dinner. I started to change his diaper in a corner of the livingroom, and suddenly I was SWARMED by them. My cousin started telling me horror stories about how intact boys get infections all the time. I told her that wasn't true, and we had already decided not to circ. She kept going. By this time I was almost finished re-dressing Roland. He let out a big wail, so I just said "Don't worry, Roland, Mommy & Daddy aren't going to let anyone mutilate you" (I used the strongest word I could think of) and sat down to nurse him. They never said another word.

Only 2 people in my family gave me a hard time about breastfeeding. My sisters. They SAY they're pro-breastfeeding, but no one should ever have to see that. Apparently, it's like watching me pick my nose, and feed boogers to my kid. At one of my sisters' houses, I got banished to another room to nurse him (I never went back over to her place after that) It was during that nursing session that I decided that in MY house anyone giving their baby formula is going to be banished, because I don't want to see THAT.

We didn't co sleep. We tried, but Kevin is a really deep sleeper, and it became apparent relly quickly that it just wasn't going to be safe for our family. I set up the crib right next to our bed. When he was a couple of months old, I started to hear alot of negativity about it. Apparently, it was going to ruin our marriage. Eventually, I just let them in on a few of the details of exactly how well our marriage was going (there ARE other rooms in our house) Of course, after that, they didn't want to risk getting another earful of my sex life, and kept their mouths shut.

Those were the big issues for us. Now all I ever hear about is that we should let mom babysit him more (but thats just because she wants to) and that I'm over-protective of him around dogs. Oh, and my Aunt doesn't think we should have gone ahead and had his haircut (in my arms) because he was crying and saying "Owie!" while it was done. Isn't that typical of how a 2 year old might react to having his hair cut for the first time ever? My mom was with us, and turned it into a photo op... you can tell from the pictures he isn't freaking out that badly.


I brought the ulrtasound pictures over to my grandparents house yesterday. They had never seen anything like it.I think they snapped off nearly a whole roll of film on Roland. They are the first in their group of friends to be great-grandparents, and they love to show him off. Plus, they really like being told that they don't look old enough to be great grandparents!

[Doodlebugsmom]

Rynna, too bad you couldn't find out the sex! Dang, that really sucks. Do you plan on any more ultrasounds?

Harriet, if I have a boy, I often wonder how our families will react to us leaving him intact. When I was pg with dd, dh's brother said if we had a boy the hardest thing would be seeing the circumcision. I immediately said "we aren't doing THAT!" He, his wife, and my other brother in law were a little shocked. They said "why?" in a very disgusted manner. I said because we aren't Jewish or Islamic and there's no medical reason to do it. They really didn't know what to say. It breaks my heart all the time that my dh had to go through that. And I'm sure no anesthesia was used. It just kills me to think about it.

[Mummoth]

My mom firmly believes that circumsision is the reason men are such sissies when it comes to pain. She says that for a baby to feel pain so intensely, so early in his life, that it must make that connection in his brain (to react to pain) really, really strong. It makes sense to me. Then again, my intact DH is a BIG WHINER when it comes to pain!!:LOL

[Greaseball]

My parents are totally anti-circ. My brother, born at home in 1981, was intact. Dh's parents are not that way, though! I'm sure they would be surprised, if we had a boy. I'd have to instruct them not to retract and all that. Maybe a sign on a diaper that says "My penis needs no special care"?

[irishgreengables]

Originally posted by HomebirthHarriett

I set up the crib right next to our bed. When he was a couple of months old, I started to hear alot of negativity about it. Apparently, it was going to ruin our marriage. Eventually, I just let them in on a few of the details of exactly how well our marriage was going (there ARE other rooms in our house) Of course, after that, they didn't want to risk getting another earful of my sex life, and kept their mouths shut.

People shut up about co-sleeping ruining our marriage when, 2 months after our 2 children came home to us through adoption, we got pregnant. That show'd them. Now people say, "We haven't had sex in months and we DON'T co-sleep -- how'd you do it?" I explain that sneaky sex is what keeps the romance alive and co-sleeping forces sneaky sex...but if you sleep without your children, it's just the same old humdrum thing...and who wants the same old same old when they can get a little sleep instead?

[3girlsmommy]

I think that co-sleeping keeps my marriage more fresh because we HAVE to find not only the time but a place. We now even have a secrect "code". I think it makes things so much more fun then just rolling over in bed not that it's not nice to do that sometimes but I like our arrangement.

[seedling]

We only co-slept for 18 mnths, had dd is our room for 2 years but during that time we probably had some of the most inventive love-making of our whole married lives. We did appreciate having our bed back once dd transitioned to her own room but that was due more to being able to sleep soundly without getting kicked in the head (dd got very active in her sleep towards the end).

But people sure did think we were weirdos!

[wildthing]

Co-sleeping...what can I say....

We have been co-sleeping since my oldest was born, with one or two children in the bed at a time. Over the years, I have gotten pregnant 7 more times....Hmmmmm Oh yeah! I know, when the TV broke in the livingroom, we had nothing else to do! :LOL

Seriously, I love having my little ones in bed with me. One night, dd was about 3yo, and she fell asleep in her bedroom by herself. I was inclined to leave her, and let her sleep. Dh felt bad...he said "No one else in the house sleeps alone!" Isn't he SWEET!!!! All of the younger kids have hooked up with an older sibling to sleep with. As they get older, they do sleep in their own bed, but no one has to go to a room alone unless they want too.

[AnaNicole]

Thanks Seedling and eilonwy--and to everyone for your welcome!

You know, as I have thought about this previa thing, I've come to realize that I can take just about anything the establishment wants to throw at me, aside from an extended hospital stay, but my worries are more for the baby, if we're faced with a premature delivery. I just cannot imagine being separated from my newborn by a plastic box (a salad bin, as Ayun Halliday put it) and wires. I know how hard it is to parent a hospitalized child, and she (my second child) was full-term and only in the hospital for a day at a time! It REALLY affected our bond and her sense of security.

Which is a good segue into the discussion about AP parenting. We have done all of this from the get-go and yes, I got some flack from people. My brainless former FIL informed me that Soren would get penile cancer since we didn't circ, and I don't know how many people marveled at how he didn't drown when he was born underwater (you mean, he didn't drown? they'd ask, gazing into his obviously LIVING face). The ignorance about this sort of thing--especially among those of the older generations, can be staggering. I do feel fortunate to have had the support of my mother and sister (heck, my sister used to date Peggy O'Mara's son, so she saw the positive effects of AP firsthand!) and my father, for the most part. Of course, my former husband was also on board with this--the only thing we disagreed on was homeschooling....

And I can honestly say that co-sleeping saved my daughter's life. Long story short, she stopped breathing while she was nursing on her second day. After many tests and hospitalizations she was diagnosed with reflux, which caused her to have countless apneic episodes (her lips would actually turn blue!). Her most scary episode came when she was in the hospital for the second time. I nursed her, put her down in her crib to sleep (generally I slept with her even at the hospital) and stepped out to grab a snack. I hadn't done that ever but there was nobody from my family there with me, so I figured ten minutes...told the nurses...
When I returned the room was full of nurses. They had REVIVED her. I was shaking...and wondered what would have happened if we put her down in a crib at night...or even for a nap! Her apnea would wake me up because she was right there with me....
I shudder to think...she would have been a SIDS baby.

Frankly, when people give me grief about co-sleeping all I have to do is tell them the short version of that story.

[mattjule]

Maybe a sign on a diaper that says "My penis needs no special care"?

LOL

My mom had three dds before she had a ds, but before ANY of her children were born, she watched a nephew get circ'd. She was the only one with him, BTW, no mom or dad. Anyway, after seeing that, she swore she'd never do that to one of her dc. And she didn't. So it is safe to say she is a big supporter of intact penises.

My MIL, OTOH, is a different story. When I told her circing babies is barbaric and I refuse to do that to a child of mine, that birth was traumic enough, etc, etc, all she said was "well, we obviously circ'd Matt and he turned out okay" So once again, she didn't hear what I said in context of my life, but in the context of hers. Ah well. It seemed like she wasn't anti-intact, but more defensive of her decisions.

Ana-sounds scary! Glad to know it was so easily stopped, though. I had a "low-lying placenta" early in my last pg and by the end it had moved all the way to the top. SO I'm sending you mobile placenta vibes!!

Seedling-That isn't the best news you could possibly get, but it is good news. Glad to hear the baby is doing well and you are doing well. I'll keep hoping for a hb for you!

I also like cosleeping, especially since Tain is getting night terrors lately and sleeping poorly. I also agree, however, that it is one of those things that is different for every family.

That's what makes AP so great, the flexibility you have as a parent. A lot of people don't get that. They see it as a lot of work, but I think it is only a lot of work occasionally. 98% of the time it is way easier than other methods. I think about how much easier it is to grab a sling on your way out the door or on your way into a store than a huge stroller your kid is going to cry in anyway. Seems like I carried so much less STUFF than other moms.

My personal fav are those infant car seats. I tried to carry that thing about twice. It was so heavy and awkward and ds just woke up anyway. But putting him in a sling, he went right back to sleep and it was so easy to carry him around. Plus it's hands free! Why anyone carries those seats around is beyond me.

[Greaseball]

I carried a car seat for 7 months! Then I finally got a sling, but at age 12 months dd was just too heavy for it. We missed out on a lot of good sling time. I still have it, though, so the new one can use it!

[Mummoth]

I always got DH to carry the carseat... I didn't have my drivers licence until about 8 months ago, so he was always around when we used it! It wasn't too heavy for the first little bit, but once he hit about 10 pounds, it was VERY awkward to carry him in that thing.

[noteworthy]

hello !

Well I have been off the boards for sometime due to one thing and another. but glad to be back. Anyone remember me? I am still due on July 7, but I am hanging out because I know it will be a June baby!

It is nice to catch up on all the posts and see what is going on out there. I was so sick for a while that I was beginning to think that it would never end. Glad that is over.

Glad to be back!!! Will post more later.

:-) noteworthy

[mattjule]

Wildthing-thought I'd mention that I love that all your kids paired up with each other for sleeping. My parents were big into co-sleeping and I don't think I ever slept alone unitl I was 8-10 and wanted to. Sometimes it sucked sleeping with one of my sisters, but most of the time it was really nice to never be alone in the dark.

I am so looking foward to having two boys that can share a bed with each other. (And I'm sure dh is looking forward to eventually sharing a bed with just me!)

Didn't mean to offend anyone with the carseat comment. But I do admire anyone who carries it around regularly. Mine was a hand-me-down. Maybe others aren't so heavy. In fact, before it was given to me the original owner double checked the recall list as well as gave me all the manuals, etc. I used it for Tain, gave it to a friend and now it is in the IL's garage, waiting for Rowan. It's so nice to get good use out of it, most babies I know grow out of them so fast! I think Rowan makes 5 babies that will have used it.

[Mummoth]

julie, you didn't offend me! That thing WAS a huge hassle!

[bandana]

just thought i'd pop in and say HELLO

haven't posted in a while, but i've been reading. here are my latest thoughts:

love the flutters. love that i know where the baby is when i poke down there. love the belly.

scared!!!!!!! not about the actual baby, but about how we're going to move from our house, buy a new house, settle into it, buy another car, insurance, and keep up our business with one less salary (at least temorarily). i'm sure all new moms feel this way, but it's just started to hit me that we only have 4-1/2 months to figure all of this out!!! :

the thought of the new sweet smelling baby on my chest always brings me back home though.

hope you are all doing well, and positive energy as always to those who are in need of some.



~laura

[AnaNicole]

Hoo boy

I just raved about co-sleeping in my last post, now here's a rant!

My dear, sweet 3yo daughter is so restless at night. She wakes frequently and comes into our room (she sleeps across the hall in a room with her 7yo sister, with whom she sometimes shares a bed). Sometimes I try to take her back to her bed and lie down with her awhile, sometimes she just needs to pee. But lately, she wants to just "cuddle." Hey, awesome, great, wonderful! I love cuddling with all of my kids.

But this kid...she kicks me, usually in the belly (and my belly has been very tender lately). She grinds her teeth so loud she wakes me up. I hear this is a developmental stage but, oh boy....:
She tosses and turns and has to be THISCLOSE to me at all times. Sometimes she fusses in her sleep. This morning I awoke feeling as though my muscles were on fire, this from sleeping in basically one position all night. Chris, my husband, felt pretty much the same.

Gah, I can't take it. I can't take the constant sleep interruption! I love my baby, and I love to cuddle, but that is SO not what she does. It's like she's wrestling with me in her sleep. For so many years I found co-sleeping to be such an easy way to GET sleep. Now, it has become the opposite. The only night during the week in which I can sleep uninterrupted all night is when they spend the night with their dad (not a new arrangement, she's very used to it and very close to him, so I doubt there's a connection between this and the way she acts at home).

Oy.

OOO! I just got kicked. A small reminder that there definitely WON'T be room in the bed for big kids after the babe is born....

[seedling]

I just spent from 5:30 to 8:00 this morning in my DD's bed. Can totally relate to AnaNicole's post. Doesn't help that I feel like a old german shepard with hip problems when I get up from my padded nest after a good night's sleep. Add to the whole mix a kid who keeps touching my eyelids and saying "can we get up yet Mommy?" every 20 minutes and you have a cranky, unproductive day ahead of you.

Laura, I'm also scared! About how in the heck I'm going to make working-at-home work with two kids. And how we're going to pay bills while I'm on unpaid maternity leave. God provides. I keep telling myself we'll figure it out. And your right, the thought of that sweet baby to hold does bring me back from the panic mode.

Okay, break over! Hope everyone has a nice evening.

[dharmama]

I'm having such a busy week....I just realized I haven't posted here once. And now I only have a couple of minutes (DH and I are going to my FAVORITE vegetarian restaurant tonight....YIPPEEEE!!) so I just wanted to say hello and let ya know that I'm still here. :LOL

~Erin