In a quandry- kinda long

[zookeeper]

I'm just not sure what, if anything, to do about the MW we've chosen. The first one I visited with was very nice, but I just don't think our personalities would go well together. She kinda scolded me (almost like you would a kid) about some of the things I'd done to survive morning sickness in the first tri EVEN THOUGH she'd told me she didn't want to see me till 12 wks. She's a bit more medical minded than some MWs though she didn't have a problem if I refused some things.

Talked with another MW that my chiro highly recommended. I knew before I saw her that some other MWs had raised some concerns with her in the past. Nobody has been able to tell me anything about it because it would be "slander". Grrr.. Anyway, I'm already 27-28wks and haven't had any blood work done. Right after I started seeing her (about 16wks), she unexpectedly lost her lab. She's just now getting another one. When I saw her on Wed, I asked if she knew how much the lab work would cost. She said the urinalysis was $7, but she didn't know how much the blood work would be. I called the lab today and it's going to cost $275!!!! I kinda feel like she was being evasive and didn't want to tell me the cost because she knew it would be a lot. She hasn't been good about returning my e-mails or calls left at the office. (She does answer calls on her cell very quickly.)

I just don't know if my trepidation is just the fact that this is my first HB and I just don't know what to expect or if it's something else. I don't know what my options would be if I left her. I REALLY want to have this one at home. There aren't many options for HB MWs here. I could go back to the first one who I would have a little bit more trust in being truthful with me no matter how much I might not like it or I could just stay with this one. I just feel like I need to decide before I pay this one anymore money!

I wanted to do a HB thinking it would be a more peaceful experience overall and it's just not turning out to be that way!!!

I'm so frustrated!!

[GoldmanBaby09]

Do you have any medical insurance? I got concurrent care from a CNM at an OB practice just so that I could make my insurance cover the costs of things like the lab work, especially since they covered no part of the more than $3000 we paid our midwife. But overall, you need to go with whom ever you are going to feel the most comfortable around. I can understand being upset about the cost of the lab work, and mw #2 may have genuinely not known the cost. What are they specifically testing for? I think there are quite a few mamas on here that get no testing done at all. Anyway, I would probably suggest sitting down and talking to mw#2 and discussing with her how you want things to proceed. If you need her to be more available for emails and office calls, you should let her know that. Some mws just have a more lax practice than others. Good luck with what ever you decide and stick with the homebirth if you know that is what you really want.

[zookeeper]

I do have medical ins, but can't afford to pay both the MW and an OB even though the labs would be covered. Dh and I are Rh incompatible and I would really like the antibody test done for that as well as making sure my blood count isn't going to cause bleeding issues during birth. Just mainly reassurance for me.

Also, I've been diagnosed with hypothyroid right before this pg. I was reading a thread about how often others have had their thyroid checked. This MW hasn't said a thing about it all.

[FrolicingMama]

With my first pregnancy I did the whole congruent care, just long enough to get the tests I needed ordered and then I just didn't go back. I ended up just having to do one office visit. My homebirth midwife is a cnm and she has since found a doctor to sign off so she can write Rx for me, but if that wasn't the case I would have done the same thing again. I

[Pookietooth]

Are there any other midwives in your area? She sounds quite flaky.

[zookeeper]

These are the only 2 that are relatively close. I don't have the time (or the energy - see my sig) to go very far away.

[Pookietooth]

That is a quandary. I have been having some issues with mine as well, and have a similar problem in that the other practice has a lot of negative reviews from women I know or friends of friends. There is one other midwife, but she's pretty far, although she said she would travel down here for a home birth. I don't know what I will do either. So far I'm just staying with the one I have as a lesser of two evils. It's more her partner who is the problem, although she also is a bit of a personality conflict (she scolded me for not knowing what week I was around 12 weeks, told me I was supposed to keep track of those things). I guess I chose her because the other practice, one of the midwives slept though a birth -- at the birth!