Cycle day 17... warning, this is still depressing, read at will...
Thanks everyone.... this is the month that we conceived ds (2years ago), and I remember wondering if I mc'd the cycle before because that period was a nightmare. I'll still never know because I wasn't charting, but I think that February is generally a rotten month to get through!
Heaveasoul, those stories should provide inspiration and encouragement, but to me the are terrifying. I don't know if I'd be strong enough to go that long. I suppose that I would, but the thought is scary. For anyone who is or has had to go through this, please don't be offended, I just don't know if I'm that strong!
I think what's getting to me and causing the fear right now is my sister's birthday just passed, and I was reminded that it took my parents 2years to conceive her (she's younger than me by 4 years). It was natural, because back then there wasn't that many other ways, but I just keep hoping that I don't follow in my mom's footsteps. She also started having wicked periods at my age, and was diagnosed with severe fibrous tumors in her uterus. She couldn't get out of bed for 3days during her periods, and she had a hysterectomy at 32. So even though I'm fairly young at 28, I still can't help but wonder what's in store for me. Most of my fear is irrational, and I know that, but the thoughts can eat at your optimism when you're not looking.
And the big kicker of the whole thing: My parents don't know that we are actually trying right now, but they know the plan is to work until the second baby, and they along with my sil are our primary childcare while I work full time. So my Dad said to me the other day "You better hurry up and get pregnant because I can't do this forever". He was angry at something else, and you have to know our history/relationship to understand why I forgive him, but that stung.
Wow, this has gotten way longer than I wanted... the good news is that my parent's are taking Owen so that we can go away overnight. Jacuzzi suite, here I come. And according to my temps I haven't O'd yet, but my ewcm says soon.... if this is my cycle, I'd be due almost exactly on Owen's second birthday. Which according to DH is the perfect spacing... I hope that tonight gives me the common sense to count the blessings I already have again, because in reality they are many!
Take Care Everyone!
PS... dh just mentioned this morning that he found that there is a supplement that men can take to up their sperm production. I know you've probably already talked about this... but is there anyone out there who's dh is also taking something? I was so happy that he told me he'd been reading, because I generally do all the health research, and it's frustrating, so at least I know he's listening to my griping