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February -- ottrta - Page 31

post #601 of 757
Korin - have fun this weekend!

I probably won't test again until Sunday or Monday. I really just don't think I o'ed. But I will test again before I go in for my dr. appointment. It isn't a will of steel - I just don't want to see another BFN honestly.
post #602 of 757
Thanks for the hugs everyone. I really needed them today!! I'm passing them on to my dd because she deserves them today! (everyday, but especially today!)

Adina, Do you mind if I say something? This cycle SUCKS - for both of us!! Who does it think it is pulling our chain this way? Ok, I'm done.

Sorry, didn't mean to alienate anyone who is having a sucky cycle too. Hugs to those who need it!
post #603 of 757
Keri - This cycle does suck.

I am not amused

Mostly I just want it over so that I can move on to the next one. But I am afraid that I am not going to get my wish anytime soon.
post #604 of 757

cd 21... I guess

Adina and Coleslaw -- I second the "This Cycle Sucks" notion.

Who the hell thought o'ing would be so damn elusive?????

My motto this week has been "EVERYTHING SUCKS!"

Obviously I lost my serenity of last week. Knew it was too good to last. I feel like I'm having perpetual PMS with how moody I've been. Poor dh doesn't know what to do with me.

Anyway, hope something becomes clear to one of you soon.


Kate
post #605 of 757
CD 23 Still waiting to O

I am trying not to give up on this cycle just because of the late O, although late O usually means short LP for me. We are getting good coverage, which has, for a change, been fun. Usually for us it's either been fun or well timed since about 7 months TTC.

to the Cycle Sucks club. It's so nice for me to have other people around who feel grumpy about this suff, makes me feel less crazed.

Jesse,

That sounds like a wonderful dream. Perhaps Beth dreamed she was having the baby because she feels herself to be fully it's momma, too.
post #606 of 757

cd14 Oing soon? i hope....

ok i'm getting pretty excited. i think i'm about to O. ewcm today :LOL i've been pretty down about this cycle because i keep 0ulling this muscle at the top of my popi and i was thinking it was sign that this is not our cycle or that it would just flat out prevent us from GIO until long after O. this morning i woke up to a big temp drop and thought i would be Oing soon and didn't want to yet but now i'm feeling better and realized that if i do O tonight, i'll be at 11dpo for our anniversary and that would be a cool present for dh since we can't afford to buy stuff :LOL i like homemade presents better anyways :LOL i ate 3 raw carrots with dinner...think that's enough? we have more...i might go eat them but want to have some around just in case i need them tomorrow or the next day etc....ok well i'm going to go put dd to bed and get ready for dh to come home
post #607 of 757

CD 16, waiting to O

Wow, at least I'm not the only one in a funk. Misery does love company. Sorry guys. s to all. Been lurking, but not much to talk about, really. Kinda debating on whether temping and posting isn't hurting the cause. I mean, I'm not sure how long I can live in limboland - maybe I'll be pregnant this summer, maybe I won't, maybe I'll have a baby for Christmas, maybe I won't. And I'm terrified that I won't get pregnant again. There, I said it outloud.

I've had baby dreams in the past, and dreams about getting BFP's and having to take pg tests over and over again - you know like the can't dial the phone number right dreams? I'm disappointed when I wake up, usually even if it's frustrating in the dreams. I mean - how hard is it really to pee on a stick? Cause apparently my subconscious needs to practice every now and again...

My chart is not shaping up to look like my last one, and I o'd on cd16 last month, so I'm just waiting here. ho hum. GingIO daily and waiting. At least the GinIO hasn't been ho hum...
My Chart

I really hope that everyone is doing whatever they need to do to celebrate their joys and take care of themselves in their sadness. I wish I could offer more right now, but I don't have any prophetic advice.

and s

PS, I signed the TTC agreement about not apologizing for being miserable here, but I have to say that it's taking all I have not to say I'm sorry for being so cranky. I mean I feel downright b*tchy... and I am sorry, whether I'm supposed to be or not.
post #608 of 757
annette, no need to apolozie. : when you said that you don't know if you'll ever get pg again, i struck me deep cause i feel the same. i'm joining the crappy cycle club this month and please know that you're not alone.
post #609 of 757
Annette - no worries. We all feel like crap every now and again. And that really is the crux of thw whole thing isn't it? The fear that we might not get pregnant. I think about that every day. What if? What if I never have a baby? Sucky sucky feeling.

Apologize if you need, but know that we all are with you and are more than happy to listen!!

Man what is UP with the crappy cycles this month? Which deity did we all piss off? Cause man...I've got no clue. Grrrrrrr.....
post #610 of 757

cd 8, and waiting...........

Seems were all in the same boat. Been a little quiet over here, waiting to "O" and having thoughts like several of you here.
I worry too that I may never get pg again, maybe its too late for me, or maybe my dh will end up sick and won't be able to try..... I hate those ugly thoughts, and yet, I can't get rid of them.

I haven't been temping, 'cause it seems my ewcm is such a good sign, and I know the timing has been impeccable. I've got a bunch of great herbal remedies, but what else can I really do? Wait and hope.
Tomorrow will be better I'm sure.
3boyzrus: feeling any better? Babe should be very well cushioned, I wouldn't worry.

Here's our mantra, KHA! KHA!!!!!
post #611 of 757

CD 20, 6 DPO

HUGE s to everyone in the This Cycle Sucks : club.

The fears of it never happening are what make each arrival of AF so devastating. Yes, it's the disappointment of that particular cycle not resulting in a pregnancy, but it's also the fear that it will NEVER happen. Which is why in that respect, it makes no difference how long you've been trying, because that fear is always lurking...so and let the hope of those not despairing carry those who are despairing - we'll all take turns KHA for ourselves and each other, k?

Not that it may have an effect (still hasn't exactly comforted me any), but my dh's SIL was in town visiting with their 1 1/2 yr-old who took 3 years to concieve - after multiple IVF attempts and plans to adopt, he was concieved au naturel.

Btw, do you find that when anyone tells you a similar story to try to give you hope, it just kind of sits there? I have yet to find inspiration for ME from those stories. oh well, still...maybe afer hearing enough of these stories, we can somehow internalize it...which is why, I guess, I shared one with you.

No news here. Busy wknd lined up...hoping it will keep me distracted enough...!

I think I may go for the 1st pooled progesterone test this morning, but then, if I can find it, start on the natural progesterone cream today, and then skip the other progesterone tests I had planned to have taken on Mon and Wed.

everyone!
post #612 of 757
double post...
post #613 of 757

Cycle day 17... warning, this is still depressing, read at will...

Thanks everyone.... this is the month that we conceived ds (2years ago), and I remember wondering if I mc'd the cycle before because that period was a nightmare. I'll still never know because I wasn't charting, but I think that February is generally a rotten month to get through!

Heaveasoul, those stories should provide inspiration and encouragement, but to me the are terrifying. I don't know if I'd be strong enough to go that long. I suppose that I would, but the thought is scary. For anyone who is or has had to go through this, please don't be offended, I just don't know if I'm that strong!

I think what's getting to me and causing the fear right now is my sister's birthday just passed, and I was reminded that it took my parents 2years to conceive her (she's younger than me by 4 years). It was natural, because back then there wasn't that many other ways, but I just keep hoping that I don't follow in my mom's footsteps. She also started having wicked periods at my age, and was diagnosed with severe fibrous tumors in her uterus. She couldn't get out of bed for 3days during her periods, and she had a hysterectomy at 32. So even though I'm fairly young at 28, I still can't help but wonder what's in store for me. Most of my fear is irrational, and I know that, but the thoughts can eat at your optimism when you're not looking.

And the big kicker of the whole thing: My parents don't know that we are actually trying right now, but they know the plan is to work until the second baby, and they along with my sil are our primary childcare while I work full time. So my Dad said to me the other day "You better hurry up and get pregnant because I can't do this forever". He was angry at something else, and you have to know our history/relationship to understand why I forgive him, but that stung.

Wow, this has gotten way longer than I wanted... the good news is that my parent's are taking Owen so that we can go away overnight. Jacuzzi suite, here I come. And according to my temps I haven't O'd yet, but my ewcm says soon.... if this is my cycle, I'd be due almost exactly on Owen's second birthday. Which according to DH is the perfect spacing... I hope that tonight gives me the common sense to count the blessings I already have again, because in reality they are many!

Take Care Everyone!
and s

PS... dh just mentioned this morning that he found that there is a supplement that men can take to up their sperm production. I know you've probably already talked about this... but is there anyone out there who's dh is also taking something? I was so happy that he told me he'd been reading, because I generally do all the health research, and it's frustrating, so at least I know he's listening to my griping
post #614 of 757
There is a suppplement called Proxeed that you can take that supposedly has good results. My dh is taking it as a case study for our dr. friend. It is pricey, but I will let you know if it helps.

SO I took the other CBE Digital today. And the little "not pregnant" popped up. Which I expected. However when I ejected the test there was a faint line...again. Too soon to be an evap line, but also possibly to faint to mean anything and who knows what the lines mean on this one. They may mean absolutely nothing. So I will have to go and get another pregnancy test that I understand how it works. The CBE digital is cool and all - but I don't have any idea where the little digital readout is coming from. It seems totally abritrary to me. I will stick with the evil little lines. I am sure the other test will be negative, but I kind of want a for sure answer....these things are too ambiguous. And who the hell tells a woman trying to conceive not to look at the line on the test stick after it is ejected. Sorry but I jest spent two years trying to find a line...you can't tell me not to look at the lines and have me just do it!

Anyway - temp back up again and coverline gone away again. No idea....

Hopefully I can get my doc to give me provera to induce when I go see him on Wednesday. I just want to start a new cycle. Blah.
post #615 of 757
Oh, Adina...take a REAL test! Those things just sound confusing to me!
post #616 of 757
I'm gonna I'm gonna!!! I just have to get out of the house to get one first! :LOL

They are confusing....so my recommendation is DON'T BUT THE OVERPACKAGED DIGITAL TEST!!!! Stick with a FRER or whatever brand you like. Plus that is just a lot of waste....since you throw away the holder as well as the test with each pakcage.
post #617 of 757

cd 12--no signs of O

frustration is setting in......
I may need to join the cycle sucks club, but I'm holding out hope....
this time last cycle (a 'perfect' 28 days), I had lots of ewcm and a temp drop, and my monitor was reading high. Today--nothing! no cm, my monitor is reading low, and my temp is the same as it's been the last 6-7 days!

Now that I've got that off my chest...
Thanks for all the kind words about my beautiful baby dream...it's true gonnabe, Beth is really concerned about feeling just as much a mom... I wish you all nice dreams too, but more importantly, beautiful babies!!!



Adina--good luck! I will never use those tests based on your experience I hope you get a great results--fingers crossed!!

BabyOsmommy--enjoy your wonderful jacuzzi weekend & to you.

heveasoul--thanks for your words. I hear you, I'm rarely able to get hope from those stories, because I'm always left with the thought --but they have a baby & I don't (jealous & ungenerous I know, but that's how I feel).

off to visit more friends who have a baby! (we had another visit this a.m. from friends with a baby too). Don't get me wrong, I love babies! Just getting a bit overloaded.

have a great weekend,
post #618 of 757

CD 21, 7 DPO

Oh, Adina, how frustrating! Let us know how you make out with a line hpt...

Jesse. Hope all those babies spread some of their dust onto you!

Had a busy day yesterday, but managed to find some natural progesterone cream (At Last Naturals Equigest Progesterone Balancing Cream). Decided NOT to start the series of prog blood tests, because I have started with the cream. Also, I picked up some Vitex - I know it's supposed to take a while, but it can't hurt. Apparently you can take it right up to a + hpt.

I broke down and bought a bunch of hpt strips online, and they arrived last week...so we'll see if I'm still inclined to wait till 16 DPO to test this time...

everyone!!
post #619 of 757
Reader Discretion advised, this post is extremely cranky. Those who get sympathetically depressed or grumpy should move onto the next post.

ARGH! That's the second time a post has disappeared on me! I posted last night, and this morning my post isn't there.

So CD 24 and supposedly Oing.

I got a second peak reading on my Clear Plan monitor which has never happened before. I was in a terrible mood yesterday, and HHH and I were just cats and dogs, oil and water, etc. Everything the poor guy said made me crazy, which is let me tell you wonderful ambience for having a GIO fest.

Anybody else having insemination sex? You know where you don't really want to, and maybe he doesn't really want to, but you do it anyway because the test or the timing or the cm says you should. Ye gods to think I thought once upon a time that sex for conception would be this soft-focus romantic affair.

I hope the sun comes out soon so I can get over this.
post #620 of 757
gonnabeamom - I know what you mean entirely too well. I think that it can be romantic only if you don't have any problems conceiving. Otherwise you are bound to have insemination sex at least once.

I used a FRER this morning. Undisputably (sp?)negative.

So no ideas of what the hell is going on.

Ah well. I might have enough time in this cycle to get my wrist fixed and not have to take a cycle off. Wouldn't that be nice.

So I will let you all know what happened with the docs appointment on wednesday and what he says. Hopefully I can get the order for an HSG put in and some more blood work done. And a clean bill of health from my annual.

Much and to everyone!
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