February -- ottrta - Page 36

[AnnR33]

Oh Kate that was beautifully said and so comforting to me as well in my time of uncertainty. I love your comment about "little spots of magic" thank you for that!

And to you too Shannon! I hope you feel comforted by kate's words as well.

Ann

[laurata]

Back to cd 1, it looks like

This will be month 6, and I'm starting to feel pretty discouraged. I'm probably going to try and get an appointment to have laproscopic surgery on my ovary in about a month, so I guess we'll be taking a break and just seeing where life takes us.

[Velveteen]

CD 14 and hopeful!

Kate; your post was so very sane, comforting and hopeful, thank you also! I re-read it a couple of times.
I too had a 'spot of magic', I do love that term.
I was crushed beyond belief when I micarried my badly wanted baby at 7 weeks. I was also in a HUGE rush to get pg again, the sooner the better.
While it did happen that I DID get pg right away, I mourned the loss of the baby in a rush.

I feel the same way right now, I need to be pg in a rush! So I don't know how much I have learned.
The family trip that I didn't want to be TOO pg for, now I'm not pg at all I couldn't have imagined that I would not even have the bun in the oven started.

Coleslaw, I am SO sorry about AF. I think your plan sounds fantastic, and I could learn from it.

Joanna, how very frustrating! Hope that you have a virtual army of spermies there, and are conceiving anyway! I read in my fertility book last night, that sperm hide in cripts in the vaginal wall, and are released slowly after the initial rush. So thats good news!

wan2bmamma; hoping for you!!!

[chiromama]

7 DPO oh here comes the wait

Kate... your post was so sweet..... I've never been pg or had a mc, but still your words are well applied to any loss in life. Thanks for your sweetness!
Shannon, I have no words to offer you, however, Iwill offer healing energy, and love! Please take time to heal yourself, you deserve it!

For me today, I appreciate everyone's kind thoughts, but my eczema isn't any better today. I still have to work - but i have zero patience, or compassion... so it will be a tough day. I have struggled with this my whole life, and just when I think I know my triggers, something else pops up, ugh.

to those who need it!

I'll probably just lurk for a while....

[Meli65]

Another beautiful post from you, Kate. Are you counselor in real life? Maybe you should be! Your advice is so thoughtful and gracefully put. Food for thought for me, too.

I am very glad that circumstances worked out that I'm not trying again right away. My cycle is all over the place and I've finally stopped temping all together and am just waiting for AF to start fresh with my chart, if then. It would have been terribly frustrating had I been waiting to o all this time.

I am off to my weekend of debauchery on Friday night, thanks for asking! I don't know if I mentioned this, but what prompted to me to actually go is that my friend's father died quite suddenly recently and we intend to get wasted and talk about our losses and just be together. I am really looking forward to it.

Good luck everyone. It has been a pretty crappy month for many of us. Spring is coming.

[alexisyael]

CD 26 -- LLL

Kate, that was just beautiful. Pertains to my situation as well, though I have never had a m/c. (I am rushing this right now because I have waited so long and had to go through one of the most horrible experiences in order to get here... )

The only thing I can add, Shannon (and everyone else who has experienced loss) is that after my d&c, it really took a few months (at least) for my body to not *feel* pregnant. And then it took a good six months-to-a-year to get out of mourning. One thing that helped was poetry. (I wrote a series of poems about the baby that might have been, and the whole experience. The cycle is on my web page, if anyone wants to read it. )

Anyway, I highly recomend art as a means of mediating between grief and life. Poetry, scultpure, painting, whatever speaks to you. If you want, PM me, as I have a few resources available (books etc...) that talk about art as a healing medium.

So, hugs to all who need them. I agree with Mel -- doesn't it feel like Spring is coming? Even here, there are buds on the rose bushes in the park!

Jesse -- "Pop goes the eggie!" Hope she DMaI!

(BTW, we'll be staying at the Hotel Clarendon, I believe. Oh - and to whoever asked, facials are da bomb! I used to get them as a teenager, for my acne -- mom paid -- and they are really a treat. I prefer them to a massage, I think. )

Keri and Laura -- so sorry Af found you. May your egg pop next month and DMaI!

Jessviola, Adina, heveasoul and anyone else feeling limbo-y right now: I hope things clear up while I'm away!

Hopefully my own situation will clear up as well -- at this point, I really don't think I ovulated. Maybe being on vacation will do the trick

[KateSt.]

Awwww, you ladies made me cry with your thankful posts. I'm so glad I can offer some comfort from my experience. It's truly made me a better person.

Melissa -- actually, I used to be a mental health counselor! (My BA is in psychology, but my Master's is in Health and Fitness.)
Have a great weekend with your friend -- it sounds fun and healing all at the same time.

This month is almost over everyone! I truly don't know what I would have done without all of you. I feel so close to everyone on this board and am so fortunate to have found you.

(Yes, I'm feeling a bit mushy today.)



Kate

[shannon0218]

thanks Kate and everyone else. It is true, I never really took the time to mourn any of my losses, including the puppy we lost right after the first m/c. I have spent the whole day on the couch and will likely spend the night there as well, maybe that's what I need, tomorrow I have to work no matter what so I guess I should just take advantage of the sitting and crying I can do now(isn't it stupid that what pisses me off is that I'm not a crier, I'm the tuff one, now I'm pissed off that I need to just cry )
back to my couch

[AdinaL]

shannon - cry all you want. I spent a good week crying daily this cycle. it does help.

Kate - what a lovley post!

So here is my update:
This cycle is a wash. I went to the doc today and he did a preg test - BFN. No surprise there.
He did my annual and we talked about fertility issues.
He did an ultrasound ans no follicles were developing and my uterine lining wasn't thick enough to indicate anything was going on. Soooo....he gave me provera to induce (yay!!! the end is in sight!) He called in the order for the HSG, I just need to call when my period starts to schedule it. And he gave me a script for letrozole...which is a breast cancer drug, that they are having good results with for infertility. Supposedly it makes you ovulate kinda like Clomid - without the hot flashes and mood swings. So we will try that and see if it works. And if it does we will do 3-5 cycles of that. If not, we will go back to clomid.

So, HSG in the near future, and some funky new drugs. Hopefully this will be the ticket, caus ethe next step is more testing, including seeing if the eggs are any good and more drugs, including injectables. So, if the powers that be woudl like to give me a break here and let this work I would be appreciative. Oh and let the HSG be totally normal please.

So there you go update!

[polka123]

I posted this in rollcall -
just a little intro.



http://www.mothering.com/discussions...0&pagenumber=4

[proudmamanow]

cd 16, Odpo

Welcome to polka!

to Adina -I'm sorry about your definite BFN. BUT great news about your appointment , it sounds like you've been offered some really positive options!! yay!

Kate that is a beautiful message. I'm glad you're feeling mushy

spring is sorta coming to Ottawa, at least it's been up to -5 and sunny each day, and the days are getting longer!!! very exciting!!! but winter here is pretty great too.

Laura- -I hope your surgery & break are healing, restful times for you.

Melissa--enjoy your wknd of debauchery! sounds fun

Jessica --that sounds like a frustrating sit'n all in all. your cm sounds good, and I think it's a great sign. hang in there...

As for me, I've had lots promising O like cramping activity as of about 3 pm today, so I'm really KHA that the frozen spermies lasted at least the 6-8 hours they say, so that my egg was caught right away & is now DMaI DMaI DMaI DMaI.

to all & to all a good night

[shannon0218]

Well good morning ladies,
Thanks for all your support yesterday, I guess it was something about the OB who really doesn't even know me being able to see through my facade and know I was devastated that sent me over the edge. I always see myself as being able to fool people and knowing that my sadness was big enough that a relative stranger saw I think made me realize just how bad it was. Last night was the first time I really let Steve know how bad things were as well, he was great but I wonder if he really gets it, KWIM? I think we will try to think of a name (unisex) for the babe we lost and do something to memorialize. With the last one we lost Tunza right after, so I've always connected Tunza's spot as being with the baby, maybe that is what is missing this time.
Anyway, as I said yesterday, today I have to work, like it or not, so I guess I need to get moving here.
Again, thanks to all of you, especially Kate, I have printed out what you wrote and will keep it with me for a few days.
Everyone have a good day!
Shannon

[heveasoul]

CD 25, 11 DPO

Hello everyone!

Wow - Kate, I also loved your post - I hope it offers inspiration for anyone suffering a loss.

Shannon - I'm glad you're still participating in these threads, and that you're taking the time to grieve. I (we) are here for you. Take care. It will happen.

s to Keri and to Laura, in those first few sad days of a cycle. congrats, Keri, on the longer LP!

Adina- here's to a new cycle, and to new approaches - !

I hope I haven't missed anyone. Hang in there everybody!

No news here...I might test tomorrow (have a bunch of cheapie internet hpts). AF is due on Monday. No symptoms. Taking tomorrow off work to deal with the post- (mid-, actually) reno clean-up. We'll probably move back to our place from the ILs tonight.

[Velveteen]

Heveasoul; your getting really close!!! Hope your test is BFP!!!

Adina; I'm with heveasoul, here's to new approaches!!

Shannon, I too would be sent over the edge by a relative stranger seeing through me. You are so welcome here, and I am so glad your're here!

How are you doing Polka?
I think I am officially one day past ovulation. Had some questions with the OPK this time, it seemed inconsistent on one day.
For any OPK users, using it two times a day during the critical period was really, really, helpful. That way, I could see the surge forming, cresting, and falling. It was interesting!
wan2bmama; here's hoping for ya!

[chiromama]

8 DPO oh the insanity!!

Welllll Here I am at 8 DPO, and although I'm not as crazy as next month, I am a little looney. Trying not to read into any symptoms, yet I'm doing it anyway. Last night after dinner and this am after a big breakfast I felt like barfing.... not nausea so much, but like my food was just gonna come up. (not normal for me) Last month, I felt a little nausea, but I think it was the insomnia, and the anxiety of TTC... This time around I'm mich less worked up over the whole thing.... My eczema is better, although now I'm losing skin on my face and neck like I've had a bad sunburn.... exfoiliation insanity! But the pain and heat and itching is much better. I'm seeing a dermatologist on monday to get a script for something that is safe to use TTC and PG. Thanks for your thoughts! If its hormonal, I wouldn't be surprised... my body tends to react really easily to hormone shifts.... BUT I'm not reading into that.... Right...
I'm going to try and hold off till monday to test, although I'm sure I'll give in and test saturday

Jesse...I'm KHA for you!!! DMAI DMAI!! I want to thank you for posting your wedding picture.. with all this hoopla in the states about same sex marriage, I am so happy when people who love eachother can be married and be PROUD of it!!! (IMO marriage is about two people who love eachother and want to commit to eachother.... not about genitals, although they do make it more fun!! ) I hope that statement doesn't offend anyone, but I just wanted to voice my support for our lone lesbian couple! YOU GO GIRLS!

Hevasoul... we're testing buddies this weekend! I hope we both get BFPs... then we can start a novemer mama's thread together!
to all those in need, and to everyone else!

So here is the song I came up with last night when I couldn't sleep.... I know you all think I'm insane, and well, I am.

This song is all about CM, and it set to the tune of HOT STUFF by Donna summer. Enjoy ...

Sittin' here eatin' my soy protein waitin'
Waitin for my lover to call
checked my undies about a thousand times lately
Almost drove myself up the wall

* Lookin' for some fertile cervial mucus
by the evenin'
I need some egg white cervial mucus tonight
I want some egg white cervial mucus this evenin'
Got to have some lovin'
Got to have some lovin'
I need stretchy , I want some slippery,
I need slimy
Lookin' for a lover who needs another
Don't want another night on my own
Wanna share my love with a warm blooded lover
Wanna bring the spermies back home tonight
(Repeat *)

I need egg white cervical mucus
Lookin' for egg white
(Hot, hot, hot, hot stuff, hot, hot, hot)
(Hot, hot, hot, hot stuff, hot, hot, hot)
(Repeat * till fade)

:LOL

Gosh, I crack myself up. :LOL

[KateSt.]

cd 27

:LOL Oh, Korin! You crack me up too! So glad to hear your eczema is getting a bit better. Good luck with your testing this weekend. Hoping for a BFP! (You could start the March BFP thread!) You too, heveasoul. BFP's all around!

Also, Korin I wanted to second your opinion about same-sex marriages. To me, it just seems like plain ignorance that marriage should be all about a man and a woman. (Sorry if I'm offending anyone-- actually... no I'm not sorry.) Marriage should be about LOVE! I don't understand why there is even a debate. As far as children in same sex marriages -- if both parents are loving and nuturing and involved then how lucky is that child? Luckier than many with heterosexual parents from what I can see! Again, parenting is about LOVE! How come so many people are unenlightened? Jesse, I've been wondering if this debate infuriates you and Beth -- it infuriates me!

Shannon -- I'm so happy you're here! Hope you had a better day today.

Adina -- I'm so relieved for you that you can get this cycle over. I'm wishing I were that (lucky?) as here I am on day 27 still waiting for any little signs of o'ing. Sigh....
I will send all sorts of positive energy your way. God knows you deserve it!

Ann-- any updates from you? You've been in my thoughts.

Hope everyone's having a good day. It's almost the weekend!



Kate

[AnnR33]

Kate, thanks so much for thinking of me I honesty feel that the support here makes a big difference for me and all of us!

I'm doing well-no more spotting and the test I took in the afternoon on Wed without FMU was much darker than the previous 2-yippee! Temps are staying up but not going triphasic which is what I hoped for but I know it doesn't happen for everyone. I get a quant HCG this afternoon so will know what that is before the weekend. Hoping for high numbers!!!!!!!!!!
Feeling hopeful but still so apprehensive about getting too attached. KWIM?

Shannon-hugs to you! I hope a good cry helps and you do whatever you need to feel some comfort. I know with my last 2 m/c I did a lot of weeping and watching old movies-ice cream always helps too I did some writing too and that really seemed to help after my last one. Maybe someday I'll share it but it was a big release for me after I got that written down.

Chiro-only a few more days of obsession....I'm crossing my fingers for you and sending you lots of I can't wait to hear the songs you create for your babe!

Adina-I'm so glad a corner has been turned for you-I truly hope this new direction will be the ticket for you! My 15 mos of TTC has been so difficult so I can't imagine your 2 yr quest. But I really do feel that it is meant to be for you so I hope to hear good news from you soon. Many + vibes to you!

Thanks so much for everyone's + thoughts!
Have a great weekend!
Ann

[polka123]

cd5

with all this hoopla in the states about same sex marriage, I am so happy when people who love eachother can be married and be PROUD of it!!! (IMO marriage is about two people who love eachother and want to commit to eachother.... not about genitals,...... by CHIRO

this is how we feel @ our house!


edited to say I love the song

[shannon0218]

Hi everyone,
Well I made it through the day and only had to leave to start crying once. Even had to drop by Steve's mom's which can be stressful to say the least. I thought it was funny, he was behind me going in and I didn't notice that he had a roll of duct tape with him, we got inside and once the mandatory hugs were out of the way, him mom says (and you have to picture the church lady from sat night live here) "why dear, why would you have duct tape with you???" He responds quite plainly with, because if you tell Shannon that the miscarriage was "God's Will" I'm gonna tape your mouth shut" I was so proud of him, he never stands up to his mother!!
Anyway, the boy has just returned with supper, so I should go eat it!
ttys, Shannon

[Meli65]

That is so awesome! Give that dh a big smooch!