Originally Posted by Theoretica
Maybe I'm misunderstanding, so if so please let me know? But I'm not comprehending what on earth it matters what reporting abuse does to the dad's relationship with his gf? Who cares? A child has reported being hit, the person receiving the report witnessed verbal abuse and at risk behaviors by the abuser around and towards the child.
I have a disabled child who required years of intervention and therapies. I know how hard it can be. I also know how many times I've been reminded that these kids are at the HIGHEST risk of abuse by their caretakers. Not just parents, but therapists, teachers, everyone. Disabled children need MORE protection. Disabled children in a fluctuating home life with a stepparent are at an even higher risk level. The OP lives on the other side of the country. She doesn't know what contacting the abuser about this revelation will do to the child's safety in regards to his dad's potential retaliation. Add alcohol to the mix and this is just not ok on any level. Calling the dad directly is, to me, the bigger unknown. He could terminate all contact, he could abuse the child more severely for 'telling', etc. He's the unknown. Not the authorities.
What would it do to her relationship with the CHILD if she DOESN'T REPORT THIS. He told for a reason. For godssake...call CPS. Don't let this end up another news story that could have been prevented.
Anecdotally, when I was a kid people were concerned I was being physically abused. I was. The counselor from school used to take me out of class to play games and at some point I told him something, I'm not sure what (I was young). I remember him coming to the house and trying to talk to my dad. My dad called me in the room and asked me over and over if he had ever hurt me. Of course I said no. After he left my dad was SO ANGRY I got the beating of my life. It worked. I never told a soul again.
i know, i know theoretica. what i was intending to do by bringing up the gf's child is - the far reaching potential of bro's life being screwed up.
It really hurts to hear your experience. it really does. how can any injustice like that ever exist. how can that happen? my heart just cant accept things like this happening.
i have a friend who's children were taken away by CPS (loooooooong story) including her year old special needs kid. OMG she had to fight! fight! to get esp. her dd back from the abusive, money grabbing foster parent. in CA. now i admit all stories are not like this, and definitely good people are there, but what guarantees are there where the child might go.
and OPs concern with the present state of CA's services and her nephew falling thru the cracks are v. v. v. valid ones.
i think the path she has taken is a great one. research. plus confront the brother. they all need help. not just her nephew. if the brother is cold and heartless then of course CPS is there. however - imho - unless the child is facing fatal situation and it doesnt seem like that to me, that his life is at danger (emotions yes, life no) - a little time to try other options might be the wiser way to go.
i have a completely disabled nephew with cerebral palsy too. he requires 24 hours care and can do nothing except spoon some food in his mouth. i have seen the trememdous stress it puts on each and every member of the family. AND i have seen just how much a little help goes a LONG way.