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Having a drink in front of your kids...

post #1 of 115
Thread Starter 
is this appropriate? I think it is, if explained properly to the kids, but I know some parents that never ever have a drink/alcohol in front of their child. Help me think this one through!
post #2 of 115
I'm from eastern Europe. I think that about explains it all.

I don't really see the big deal in kids seeing adults drinking responsibly. This is done pretty much everywhere in Europe. Almost every single family in Europe drinks wine with dinner. In front of the kids (obviously, as they're at the dinner table too). This is not to mention the eastern Europe tradition of also making your own flavored vodkas, and sharing them with everyone.

To be honest, I never came across anyone who didn't drink in front of their kids until I turned 25 and met such a couple. Being from eastern Europe, it seemed kind of odd to me. I understand not getting drunk in front of the kids, but modeling responsible alcohol use seems like a good idea. It was modeled for me - and I don't drink at all now, lol.
post #3 of 115
I dont think drinking alcohol is appropriate so doing it in front of a child gives the impression that it is and for my family that is not OK.

My dh's father used to and when dh came in drunk the first time he decided that he had to quiet.

No one ever drank around me. Never seen any alcohol at all actually and the only thing I have ever drank was a wine cooler when I was 17 didnt like feeling the way I did so havnt touched any form since.
post #4 of 115
I think it's fine to have a drink or two - inappropriate to get plastered.
post #5 of 115
I don't have any kids yet, so take this for what it's worth.


As long as the drinking is kept at responsible levels, I don't see a real problem with it. If it's expected that the child will grow up to drink someday, I see no reason why responsible drinking practices shouldn't be modeled by their parents. I would even run to get my dad a beer from the fridge when I was little, but it was one beer maybe 2 or 3 times a week. I'm certainly not scarred by the experience. If a parent was going to be having more than a drink or so, I would certainly expect the other parent or responsible adult to be there to watch over the kids.

I've actually chosen to never drink, my mother raised me LDS, but if that were not the case, I think seeing my father handle drinking in a reasonable way would have been good for me.

ETA: I hope my children will also make the choice not to drink, so my husband and I will certainly not be modeling drinking in our home, or anywhere for that matter. However, growing up in a home with some alcohol obviously did not turn me into someone who drinks.
post #6 of 115
I think it is OK to have a drink or two when the kids are present. Drinking to excess in front of them? Certainly not.
post #7 of 115
As adults we do all sorts of things that are inappropriate for children. We drive cars, we get married and have families, we pay for things on credit..... etc etc. These are things for grown-ups, no biggy.

I don't see drinking alcohol as any different as long as it is a well managed part of a healthy lifestyle. It is bad for kids to see their parents out of control because that's frightening and it models problem behavior.

Miss Chris
post #8 of 115
Quote:
Originally Posted by inkslinger View Post
I think it's fine to have a drink or two - inappropriate to get plastered.
this
post #9 of 115
hmmm ... what is the difference between alcohol and coffee? i mean can our children tell? are we putting thoughts into their head? by our behaviour?

how can they even tell?

so anything that changes our behaviour is not a good thing in front of our children.

here's my other question.

what do you do if they wanna taste? do you let them. even at 2?

i did.
post #10 of 115
We drink when the kids are around. We don't get drunk though. I don't see anything inappropriate about it. Drinking in moderation is not irresponsable behavior. DD has asked a couple of time to try what we're drinking and so far, she has found them all to be icky tasting. There was one, can't remember what it was, she described it as tasting like rotten peanuts and seaweed.
post #11 of 115
my almost 7 year old cant imagine why anyone in their right mind would drink beer. on the flip side she cant understand why everyone does not drink scotch. its the scottish in her i guess.
post #12 of 115
MusicianDad - I knew when I saw your username your response would be worth reading! Hilarious!

I also see no problem with drinking in moderation. We are very honest with DD about how different people use alcohol. My father is a recovering alcoholic who hasn't had a drink in 30 years. DH and I may have one drink once in awhile with a meal.
post #13 of 115
I'll be polite. There is nothing inherently wrong about alcohol. Extremism in any form isn't particularly healthy. I want my kids to be exposed to lots of parts of life. I want my kids to understand what making responsible choices looks like.
post #14 of 115
Quote:
Originally Posted by MCatLvrMom2A&X View Post
I dont think drinking alcohol is appropriate so doing it in front of a child gives the impression that it is and for my family that is not OK.
ditto
post #15 of 115
Yeah I drink in front of mine (and other's kids) all the time. No problem. I also drink coffee in front of my kid, but he doesn't get to drink that either.

i think it would be more problematic if you drank, but never in front of your children, like hid it, or only drank after they were sleeping. That sends very werid messages, like it's "wrong" and needs to be "hidden" Which certainly wouldn't help facilitate a healthy realtionship with alcohol
post #16 of 115
I drink in front of my kids. I am comfortable with the knowledge that they may decide to drink when they are older, so I am fine with them seeing my drink.
post #17 of 115
I spent a lot of time in Europe visiting grandparents when I was little. We had homemade wine for dinner every night. The kids were allowed to have a few sips if they wanted, but most of us hated it so chose not to have it.

Nobody was ever drunk from drinking wine at dinner time, and now I don't drink at all except for the very occasional glass of wine at a dinner party. I have let my kids have sips of wine and they don't like it. Likewise for cofffee.

When I was in highschool and the other kids said "Let's go drinking!!!" I thought "What's the big deal? I've been doing that all my life. I can go home and have wine tonight if I want to. But I don't want to." My sibling and my cousins who were raised the same way don't drink either.

I think you do more harm by hiding it.
post #18 of 115
Absolutely. Getting drunk, of course, isn't OK, but there are lots of things adults do that kids can't. I drive a car in front of my kids, too. I'd rather have my kids see us drinking responsibly that feel that it's something taboo.
post #19 of 115
My mother drank to excess when I was a child (still does). As a result, I don't drink at all.
My husband has a few beers once in a while in front of my son and of course he always wants what dad has.
However I drink the occasional soda and cannot enjoy it as DS goes nuts when he sees it.
post #20 of 115
Quote:
Originally Posted by annettemarie View Post
Absolutely. Getting drunk, of course, isn't OK, but there are lots of things adults do that kids can't. I drive a car in front of my kids, too. I'd rather have my kids see us drinking responsibly that feel that it's something taboo.
This!

I'd rather have my kids see me drink a glass of wine at at dinnerparty and say no thanks to a refill now, than send them off to a party sometime in the future without ever having seen an adult drinking responsibly. They might end up seeing their friends get drunk and think that's the right way to handle alcohol. If we have wine with dinner and they ask what it is, depending of their age I explain what it is and that only adults drink that. Or I explain what it is and let them have a sip. DD1 tasted beer one time and wine one time and she doesn't like it at all and can't understand why grown ups like it. But we like a lot of things, that she doesn't: 72% chocolate, coffee, chili spice chai, broccoli, cauli flower...
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