ugliness of others

[slingmama4]

Due to the ugliness of others on the internet, I've chosen to remove this thread.

[MrsAngelic]

Hey, sorry to hear you are going through this. Expecting my fifth in December/Januaryish, and now that we live near family I'm hoping the same thing does not happen, keeping my due date very vague for that reason. It sounds like you're personally doing great, and it's just the peanut gallery that's the problem! Wish I could lend you a universal mute button. If I was you I would just make myself a bubble/be antisocial as much as possible, but that's just me. Your baby will make an appearance any day now, and you will NOT be pregnant forever - just doesn't happen.

[slingmama4]

Originally Posted by mrsangelic

hey, sorry to hear you are going through this. Expecting my fifth in december/januaryish, and now that we live near family i'm hoping the same thing does not happen, keeping my due date very vague for that reason. It sounds like you're personally doing great, and it's just the peanut gallery that's the problem! Wish i could lend you a universal mute button. If i was you i would just make myself a bubble/be antisocial as much as possible, but that's just me. Your baby will make an appearance any day now, and you will not be pregnant forever - just doesn't happen.

: (

[tygrss]

Hi mama.

I'm not a UC'er (though I am a natural birther and belong to an unassisted forum since I could see it happening "by accident" since I seem to labor in hyperspeed! LOL). I have been following your progress over at diaperswappers and wondered where you were!
Anyhow, I think that you are a strong woman. I don't think that there is anything wrong with starting to just kind of feeling "done" with the whole pregnancy thing. You're not a bad UC mama (or mama in general) just because you are anxiously looking forward to holding your baby.
I understand that you can't completely put yourself in a bubble because of your kids needing to get out, but I definitely think that it's good for you to continue to give yourself some "bubble time" so that you can clear your mind. Stay away from negative people as much as possible (even the ones who aren't necessarily TRYING to be negative) and think positively. The baby HAS to come at some point. This we all know is true.
Hang in there!

[Spark]

I think you probably just have the wrong due date. And, I'd start telling people that. "It got figured incorrectly! What are we to do other than wait for our baby's perfect timing?"

Originally Posted by slingmama4

MY LMP was Oct. 8th. I had BFP on November 26th. (1st test taken since Oct 8th). I had no idea when I ovulated. I was still nursing my 2.5yo and my cycles had been between 30-46days for 8mths of TTC.

So, fast forward till now....When will baby come?

I would figure your pregnancy EDD like this -- if you tested positive on Nov 26, most likely you were at least 10 days pregnant. I'd go with that! So, you're due... http://www.tryingtoconceive.com/eddc.htm With an O date of nov 16th and 40 weeks gestation... TODAY! Happy Due Date!

Soooooooo often due dates get figured with the earliest date... but often it's the latest possible date that's correct. And, going over is hard (Preachin' to the choir!) but going early is easier. So, I always err on the latest possible date, just for my own sanity. Also, I'll tell folks I'm not super close to that I'm due an extra week after I really am just so they don't annoy me when I'm 42 weeks for real.

Originally Posted by slingmama4

So am I a bad UCing mama to have tried all these natural induction methods? I feel like I'm wrong for wanting "to be done." I try the bubble/antisocial idea, but then feel like I'm putting my kids in a bubble too. They need to get out (church, friends, etc..), which makes me get out and end up dealing with everyone's input about being "SOOOOoooo late." I know this too shall pass, but I wake up every morning wondering W~H~E~N ???

You're not bad. You just feel like you've been pregnant an extra few weeks is all! It's ROUGH to go over. It just is!

I can tell you this - your babe knows the absolute perfect timing. Sometimes when we mess with that, we can end up with a labor that isn't as easy as it would have been if we were just patient. Think of a baby rushed out too soon in an improper position that would have been corrected if labor occurred in its time. Or an uterus that gets irritable from unproductive ctx spurred on from 'natural' induction. Or just the emotions of feeling like attempt after attempt at 'natural' induction was in vain. Ugh. That's hard stuff! And, I know this only because I've BTDT on some of the scenarios!

As for dealing with others - I'd just tell them your due date was figured incorrectly. Only do things that YOU want to do right now. Call in favors, get babysitters, just do you as much as you can these last few days!

Hoping your baby comes soon, praying it comes when everything is for the highest good!

[Astraia]

What immediately comes to mind for me is that in our parents generation they routinely went overdue.

My husband was born 2.5 weeks late and they only induced because MIL was in a panic (she'd had 2 miscarriages between 4-5 months and aws thinking the worst).

My brother was born at 43 weeks 2 days and only after 42 weeks did they start doing the NST's and even then they were only every few days.

It's only recently that the paranoia has started about being overdue, and the more studies we do on pregnancy and birth the more it is shown that we really should leave well enough alone, and I pray that someday the trend of inducing just because of dates will be laughed at as archaic.

Nothing wrong with trying to get things moving (and from what I've read, EPO is excellent any time after 36 weeks to help your cervix get nice and stretchy so that labour is more effective, even though it doesn't necessarily bring labour on- so feel free to keep it up!) as long as you don't get so hung up on it that you can't connect with your baby.

You can't be pregnant forever... it's not possible!

HTH

[Spark]

Originally Posted by Astraia

What immediately comes to mind for me is that in our parents generation they routinely went overdue.

That's true, even my cousins my age were born 43 and 44 weeks gestation.

[mama in the forest]

...doubts start to creep in. It takes all that I have to fight them off.

Why fight them off? I would immediately find a practitioner and get an ultrasound, an NST, and anything else that would help me ensure the baby was doing well & just not quite ready. It would be worth it to know.

[slingmama4]

Originally Posted by mama in the forest

Why fight them off? I would immediately find a practitioner and get an ultrasound, an NST, and anything else that would help me ensure the baby was doing well & just not quite ready. It would be worth it to know.

[fwlady]

Since I am stuck on bedrest, I thought I would share a story with you.

With my baby #5, I was also the latest I had ever been. I had been late before, why would I expect anything different? But, all through Dec, I kept getting a cold, so onto the Vit C and not wanting labor to hit during that time. This baby was DEF due on Dec 5th. We get to Xmas, and Dh says, you HAVE to have the baby by Wed (31st), and I say that is NOT funny, that would make me 26 days overdue, and I have gone to 23 a couple times, but never that long. I couldn't fathom PG going that long. I also was worried about how big he might be, as I had sugar cravings (I know), and gained more weight than any other PG. I was also VERY stopped up. I think now, that being constipated DEF delayed things. I was also nursing my toddler, 22 mos at the time of birth. And, nursing a baby always delays the PG, and nursing all the way to the due date, even more, it seems.

The good news is that I had fired my CNM MW that seemed very fear based at 32 weeks. I figured if I had her as a back up, I was more likely to transfer, as I had for our first UC. Going that late, it was the best decision EVER.

So, at 21 days late, I had a high leak, but didn't know it until day 26. That morning I realized I HADN'T been wetting myself, and beginning to panic. I talked to my friend, who has never had a natural/vag birth, but is pro-UC and anti-dr. She said that a germ would have to be pretty smart to get all the way up there, and if my temp was fine, then let it be. She was also to come when the baby was coming.

That night, my BOW broke, but it was too late for her to drive the 3 hrs. So, I called my other friend, and that worked out fine. The toddler, who woke several times A NIGHT to nurse usually, slept ALL night, even through my last minute yelling. I did have the water birth in the tub that I got from a friend, and everything went better than ANY of my other births and attemped UP/UCs. The baby was born fine. He was HUGE for a baby of mine. No tears. Very fast birth, really great!! First UC was transfer for placenta (unnecassary), so this time I just sat on the toilet and that was taken care of. I did keep trickling, and I just had drank my RRL/black cohosh/Shephard's Purse tea, and then kept taking the SP. It stopped, and we had a VERY nice NEW YEAR'S EVE!! But, we DIDN'T stay up to see the ball drop. The next day was the best weather ever, and the kids went out and played on New Year's Day. We live in MO, so this is rare.

DH had even joked that if I was to deliver past midnight, he was going to drag me to the hospital so we could get all their goodies. This baby I am expecting now, is our 5th baby that could be born on New Year's Day. I doubt it though, but her big brother would like for her to be born on HIS bday, although so would her daddy. LOL That would be kind of nice, because then she would only be 7-12 days late.

It is okay. You can do this. Start on a project that will take a few weeks, and determine to finish it before the baby is born. I do that all the time. Quilting, crocheting a blanket, etc. Find something that you like to do to keep your mind off of it, and some sit time to do kick counts. And, the baby will come out. I promise. Kymberli

[slingmama4]

Originally Posted by Spark

I think you probably just have the wrong due date. And, I'd start telling people that. "It got figured incorrectly! What are we to do other than wait for our baby's perfect timing?"



I would figure your pregnancy EDD like this -- if you tested positive on Nov 26, most likely you were at least 10 days pregnant. I'd go with that! So, you're due... http://www.tryingtoconceive.com/eddc.htm With an O date of nov 16th and 40 weeks gestation... TODAY! Happy Due Date!

After 8mths of TTC this baby and testing almost every day it seems...when Oct. came around I kinda gave up and ran out of testing strips-lol. We were in the middle of moving and Dh's new job, holidays etc... so things were busy. The day before Thxgiving I just happened to think about when should my period be coming?? I looked at my chart and it said I was 5days late, so went and bought a test. I really thought it was going to be a BFN bc we hadn't been "trying" and figured being late was due to stress of moving and such. Wouldn't you know it-- I was pregnant!:

Going on that, we assumed I was around 4-6wks preggo since I was late. I wish I had gone with what you said about choosing the latest possible date. Unfortunatly, i just set myself up for a L~O~N~G wait and battle for patience. I feel like it will be this week. I really believe now that Aug. 1st was most likely my EDD and my body likes to go 10-14d past (with all my babies), so my feeling is that it will be sometime this week Monday-Thursday. If not, that's ok. I just feel like it will be.
Baby is big. Of course, all pregnant women feel like they're pregnant with BIG babies at this point. However, considering my babies have come naturally at 42wks and have all been right at 10lbs, I feel like this one is closer to 11lbs. Maybe I'm just dillusional (sp?) now .

Soooooooo often due dates get figured with the earliest date... but often it's the latest possible date that's correct. And, going over is hard (Preachin' to the choir!) but going early is easier. So, I always err on the latest possible date, just for my own sanity. Also, I'll tell folks I'm not super close to that I'm due an extra week after I really am just so they don't annoy me when I'm 42 weeks for real.



You're not bad. You just feel like you've been pregnant an extra few weeks is all! It's ROUGH to go over. It just is!

I can tell you this - your babe knows the absolute perfect timing. Sometimes when we mess with that, we can end up with a labor that isn't as easy as it would have been if we were just patient. Think of a baby rushed out too soon in an improper position that would have been corrected if labor occurred in its time. Or an uterus that gets irritable from unproductive ctx spurred on from 'natural' induction. Or just the emotions of feeling like attempt after attempt at 'natural' induction was in vain. Ugh. That's hard stuff! And, I know this only because I've BTDT on some of the scenarios!

As for dealing with others - I'd just tell them your due date was figured incorrectly. Only do things that YOU want to do right now. Call in favors, get babysitters, just do you as much as you can these last few days!

Hoping your baby comes soon, praying it comes when everything is for the highest good!

Thank you for this!

Originally Posted by Astraia

What immediately comes to mind for me is that in our parents generation they routinely went overdue.

My husband was born 2.5 weeks late and they only induced because MIL was in a panic (she'd had 2 miscarriages between 4-5 months and aws thinking the worst).

My brother was born at 43 weeks 2 days and only after 42 weeks did they start doing the NST's and even then they were only every few days.

It's only recently that the paranoia has started about being overdue, and the more studies we do on pregnancy and birth the more it is shown that we really should leave well enough alone, and I pray that someday the trend of inducing just because of dates will be laughed at as archaic.

Nothing wrong with trying to get things moving (and from what I've read, EPO is excellent any time after 36 weeks to help your cervix get nice and stretchy so that labour is more effective, even though it doesn't necessarily bring labour on- so feel free to keep it up!) as long as you don't get so hung up on it that you can't connect with your baby.

You can't be pregnant forever... it's not possible!

HTH

Not according to my *cough* crazy *cough* mother. She swears that both her babies came on there due date and she's never heard anyone going over like I do. "Must be something wrong with me" she says...Nice, huh?



FWLADY....thx for sharing your story. I love the idea of starting a project...Now what to start??? Hmmm

[lzbthcox]

Originally Posted by Astraia

What immediately comes to mind for me is that in our parents generation they routinely went overdue.

I agree. I was talking to my mom just today about this very thing. I didn't know her when I had my first and they induced me because I was 40 weeks and the baby was big. With my 2nd, I held them off until after 41 weeks. I asked her about being a late carrier and she said she was 4 weeks late with me, 3 weeks with my sister, and 4 weeks with my brother. They let her go until her body was ready.. how things have changed.

[reducereuserecycle]

i notice Jesus-loving in your siggy.

have you ever heard this song:

In His Time
In His Time
He makes all things beautiful in His time
Lord please show me everyday as you're teaching me your way
That you'll do just what you say in your time

something like that....there are several verses and this might be a combo of some but anyhow, you must trust in God's perfect timing. dd was 41 wks 6 days so i was getting the same comments from people like 'what is wrong' etc. that made it harder to wait but i was like you i knew nothing was wrong with the baby. can't wait to hear a birth announcement

[Kidzaplenty]

Originally Posted by slingmama4

I love the idea of starting a project...Now what to start??? Hmmm

When I was pg with my son, I wanted to start some project to keep me from thinking of the birth all the time, but I could not concentrate on anything.

So, I decided to make MDC my "project". And I set a goal of post counts to keep my mind busy.

I made my goal just in time!

[tessie]

Originally Posted by Astraia

What immediately comes to mind for me is that in our parents generation they routinely went overdue.

Thirty odd years ago, when my mother was giving birth you were routinely booked in for an induction at 40+14. And today at my hospital you're booked in at 40+12.

However, without u/s (and with drs who stuck to the 'all women have 28 day cycles' routine) due dates were more likely to be guesswork than they are today so who knows at what point they were actually inducing.

[mizzshannon]

hey mama!

today makes (supposed) week 41 for me & I'm sick to DEATH already of the Baby Watch 2009 commentators in my life. i'm contemplating changing my voice mail into a series of threats to the next person to question our decision to wait for baby's timing... lol but before i do....

know what? we should hang out. i finally have my drivers license and dd and I could meet up with you and we'll both just be happily overdue mom's sipping on nice cool drinks in the summer heat :

who knows.. maybe our hormones will align in perfect harmony and we'll each go into spontaneous labor while the kids play. a double uc... wouldn't that be a story for all of history?? lol

hang in there, slingmama. You ARE capable! God IS Provident.

[slingmama4]

Originally Posted by reducereuserecycle

i notice Jesus-loving in your siggy.

have you ever heard this song:

In His Time
In His Time
He makes all things beautiful in His time
Lord please show me everyday as you're teaching me your way
That you'll do just what you say in your time

something like that....there are several verses and this might be a combo of some but anyhow, you must trust in God's perfect timing. dd was 41 wks 6 days so i was getting the same comments from people like 'what is wrong' etc. that made it harder to wait but i was like you i knew nothing was wrong with the baby. can't wait to hear a birth announcement

Thank you for reminding me of that song. When I was 8yo I actually sang that song as a solo in a kid's music program at church. It has wonderful words to remind me that it is all in His time.

Originally Posted by Kidzaplenty

When I was pg with my son, I wanted to start some project to keep me from thinking of the birth all the time, but I could not concentrate on anything.

So, I decided to make MDC my "project". And I set a goal of post counts to keep my mind busy.

I made my goal just in time!

Ok, gonna try and make it to 200 posts before baby comes. Fun idea!

Originally Posted by mizzshannon

hey mama!

today makes (supposed) week 41 for me & I'm sick to DEATH already of the Baby Watch 2009 commentators in my life. i'm contemplating changing my voice mail into a series of threats to the next person to question our decision to wait for baby's timing... lol but before i do....

know what? we should hang out. i finally have my drivers license and dd and I could meet up with you and we'll both just be happily overdue mom's sipping on nice cool drinks in the summer heat :

who knows.. maybe our hormones will align in perfect harmony and we'll each go into spontaneous labor while the kids play. a double uc... wouldn't that be a story for all of history?? lol

hang in there, slingmama. You ARE capable! God IS Provident.

Shannon, I emailed you again.

[Spark]

Originally Posted by mizzshannon

hey mama!

today makes (supposed) week 41 for me & I'm sick to DEATH already of the Baby Watch 2009 commentators in my life. i'm contemplating changing my voice mail into a series of threats to the next person to question our decision to wait for baby's timing... lol but before i do....

Oooh, I always did! This is my standard 'overdue' voicemail message which I try to muster up all the kindness I possibly can put in my voice:
"Hi, you've reached the ______ family. No, we haven't had the baby yet. If you'd like to talk about ANYTHING other than that fact, please leave your message & we'll call you back!"

[slingmama4]

[Right of Passage]

lurking but that's fanastic, lots of labor vibes hope that baby is in your arms soon!