Originally Posted by abimommy
There are many aspects to this issue.
There is growing concern with the gifted forum.
We see a lot of comments that people in other forums "cannot" relate to their issues or that they would have worded things differently had they been aware their thread would have been in another forum.
People should not post differently to one forum than they would to another.
I'm finding this a bit upsetting, maybe because I posted the latter.
I'm not a huge regular in the gifted forum although I have posted there some and find it a nice forum to read. I don't think it's "wrong" or "bad" for me to keep awareness of which forum I'm posting in.
In the example I was talking about, I had posted to a thread asking about allowances for a 3 yr old. Because it was in the gifted forum I felt free to talk about our experience letting our 2.5 (now 4 yo) son doing some budgetting (adding/subtracting) at the grocery store.
I would not have chosen to share that particular experience in the Parenting forum because -- and I'm sorry to say I have seen this here -- I wouldn't have wanted to get into a discussion about whether I was pushing my kid to add or drilling him on math or something. Does that always happen? Of course not. Do I feel superior about it? No, I just feel protective about my mixed feelings about my son's then-obsession with numbers. In the gifted forum I feel like the likelihood of getting slammed for drilling my kid (which I never have done) are lower. That's all.
I *do* post differently in different forums. If someone's talking about their husband spending money in the frugality forum, I would focus on ways not to spend money... if they post in PAP, I would focus on communicating about it.
I don't understand why this seems to be being perceived as contributing to barriers... I personally do this all the time in my job, in different groups of friends, etc.
It's out of respect for the focus of the forum that I take care in my responses. And also for me.
Originally Posted by abimommy
Questions about books belongs in that forum, if one desires opinions from parents of young readers then they should state they want opinions from younger readers. It doesn't really belong in the gifted forum.
There is a growing number of people who do have gifted children who do not post to the forum because of all the negativity towards what might be perceived as "normal."
Okay so my question here is how do you measure "negativity"? I don't post in Waldorf because I have ambiguous feelings about Waldorf, even though I'd love to get into some of the fairy tale and felting stuff. Sometimes when I read there I feel like a choice to allow, say, early reading - "normal" - is being slammed... is that the Waldorf forum's fault? Does it mean they should have their threads [about, say, felting] moved? I don't personally think so.
I'm hearing that threads that are moved are not SOLELY relevant to gifted issues. I'm kind of now genuinely confused.
Does a post on sleep in the GD forum always have to be moved to nighttime parenting, even if the parent feels it is about discipline? What if possibly insight about sugary bedtime snacks helps... does the thread get moved to nutrition?
If that's the case then I'm not sure how we approach complex issues where we believe that several things are at play. Right now I am feeling kind of discouraged and like one group of parents are being told what they think is 'up' with their kids is not 'really' up with their kids. But as I said at the start, I guess I'm feeling a bit defensive.
Thanks for your time in reading and working through this.