gifted forum - posts being moved - Page 3

[karne]

Originally Posted by flapjack

Also, by posting only in PTGC, you miss out on the experience of people like me- and I bet I'm not the only parent of a gifted child on MDC who doesn't bother with that forum. It just has nothing to offer me at this time in my life.

The thing is, with so many forums, you're going to miss out on the the experience of someone anyway. So, by posting my question in the gifted section, I'm pretty aware that I might miss somones''s input who frequents the pre-teen/teen board, for example. If that was the input I was truly seeking, I would post there. I did ponder this when seeking input about architectural materials for my pre-teen, and was overwhelmed by the helpful responses I got, BTW.

The few times I've posted in the gifted forum I can honestly say I was looking for input from moms who did feel that these issues had relevance to their lives, or their children's lives. if I wanted feedback from someone like the above poster, I would have looked to a more generalized forum.

Again, honestly, why pick on the gifted forum? Truly there are other forums where it is clearcut that the posts could be absorbed into more generalized forums. Is this being looked at as a whole?

[quaz]

Why are the MDC members who use the gifted forum being asked to justify why their threads belong there? Why are we not asking that of the Waldorf forum or the special needs forum or the multiples forum? I'm sure that if the parent of a child with special needs posts about needing advice for handling a three-year-old's meltdowns, there are plenty of people on the gentle discipline or childhood years forum who could offer advice. However, someone might choose to post such a question in the special needs forum because they want answers from parents who might be dealing with more similar issues. Sure, there are probably some parents in gd or childhood years who could also offer good advice, but why should someone have to wade through all the posts of people who don't understand the situation in the same way because they haven't been through anything similar?

Originally Posted by artgoddess

I think that in answer to your questioning why only the gifted forum needs to "justify" their questions belonging in the gifted forum is off base. This happens in all of the other forums, threads are moved, people are reminded that something belongs elsewhere, and it can be frustrating when you don't think that you posted it in the wrong place, but it is moved anyway. So it's not just here, if you read the other forums regularly enough you will see that.

Second if you really and truly don't want your thread to benefit anyone but yourself, and you only want specific answers that apply to your specific situation exactly then I think a parenting forum isn't the place to ask the question. That's kind of the point of forums, and yes threads are going to get sidetracked and there are going to be people that go on and on about their own situation when it clearly doesn't have any bearing on what you asked in the first place. It's the nature of a place with a thousand or more members. if you need something more specific I am sure you can find a gifted only, prove it with a faxed copy of your kids assessment, kind of forum to post your questions and then only receive answers from people with kids who have children with intellects that match your own kids.

First, I recognize that threads are moved, and in most cases they have made sense to me.
But, if we don't want our threads to benefit anyone but ourself??? Wanting a forum with a pedigree?? Seriously?
That isn't what anyone is talking about at all.


What rainyday stated, and what I stated earlier, is what what is concerning to me.


On the front page of the special needs forum are two questions specific to the discussion we are having. To me the questions of calming down a high energy child, and anxiety/negative behavior are absolutely pertinent in a special needs forum. While general advice can be great, there is going to be advice that is a parent of a special needs child may want for people that have had similar experiences. More importantly, there may be some advice that really only a parent of a special needs can give. I would never make such a statement that 'these parents are only trying to benefit themselves, and that they should get their own board and prove their kids are special needs'.


What concerns me is when it is being specifically said, that questions along the lines of behavior aren't pertinent to a gifted forum, and should only be on a generic forum. (The explicit example of a gifted 3 year old tantruming was given, when they writer of said thread specifically stated that much of it HAD to do with the child being gifted. )

I think the point is still being missed.
A child that is special needs... it isn't something that just affects IQ, it affects many aspects of them from behavioral to social.

A child that is gifted, IS special needs. It isn't just IQ, it is something that can affect them behaviorally and socially. There are entire books that discuss this.

Of course, there are times my questions are best served in another forum. My breast-feeding issues with my very high needs and highly gifted daughter I dealt with on the breast-feeding forums. There are other time, my behavioural questions are best dealt with on a gifted board.


Tammy

[GuildJenn]

Originally Posted by JL83

Just to use your example...

If you're looking for other people's view on whether or not younger kids can handle HP - why wouldn't the view of a parent who has chosen to read (or not to read) those books to their own young children be useful?...

My son doesn't read that fluently yet so I'm not that invested in the answer but... this is a prime example, to me, of the reason I would probably just not ask in a general forum.

Because it actually isn't the same experience to be read to by a loving and tuned in parent as it is to read to one's self while, say, a parent is making dinner.

I'd feel comfortable reading the Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe to a 5 year old, but not necessarily having the 5 yo read it him/herself, not because of the violence but because of the ideas. A tuned in parent will see if a child's uncomfortable and change the tone, pace, or pause for a hug. A parent watching his or her child turn pages doesn't necessarily have that capacity.

Does that mean other parents wouldn't have a good list of books? Of course not. I have huge lists of fairy tales but I don't post them in Waldorf 'cause I don't know how they relate to the Waldorf experience. Maybe the person who posted that thread wanted to know about books that related specifically to the "I read it alone by myself while my parents were sleeping in" experience.

Having said all that though I'm still not entirely clear why the threads have to be moved out of gifted. Would they be moved out of homeschooling or Waldorf if those parents were asking about books for curriculum or books around waldorf themes?

If so, that's fine and consistent. Maybe it's just because a thread I participated in was moved, but it does kind of seem like the rules changed in the gifted forum lately. And from what I'm reading here it kind of seems like there's an attempt to "teach the parents from the gifted forum a lesson that they should be accessing the wisdom of parents who don't want to participate in the gifted forum." Should the Montessori parents (I'm one) be pushed to be sure they get non-Montessori perspectives on things like drop-off (a recent post there)?

Also, is there a reason parents can't share their wisdom in the gifted forum even if they don't have gifted kids? I wouldn't think so; I post there and I don't know if my son's gifted really-really, and also I post in babies sometimes even though my son's now 4... you know?

And... I don't know. I'm not even a super-keen poster there and the feeling around this is making me really uncomfortable on MDC. Maybe I'm pregnant and over-sensitive! (Here's hoping, but likely not <-- just clarifying I'm hoping I'm pregnant. 2 more days to testing!).

[JL83]

Originally Posted by quaz

First, I recognize that threads are moved, and in most cases they have made sense to me.
But, if we don't want our threads to benefit anyone but ourself??? Wanting a forum with a pedigree?? Seriously?
That isn't what anyone is talking about at all.


What rainyday stated, and what I stated earlier, is what what is concerning to me.


On the front page of the special needs forum are two questions specific to the discussion we are having. To me the questions of calming down a high energy child, and anxiety/negative behavior are absolutely pertinent in a special needs forum. While general advice can be great, there is going to be advice that is a parent of a special needs child may want for people that have had similar experiences. More importantly, there may be some advice that really only a parent of a special needs can give. I would never make such a statement that 'these parents are only trying to benefit themselves, and that they should get their own board and prove their kids are special needs'.


What concerns me is when it is being specifically said, that questions along the lines of behavior aren't pertinent to a gifted forum, and should only be on a generic forum. (The explicit example of a gifted 3 year old tantruming was given, when they writer of said thread specifically stated that much of it HAD to do with the child being gifted. )

I think the point is still being missed.
A child that is special needs... it isn't something that just affects IQ, it affects many aspects of them from behavioral to social.

A child that is gifted, IS special needs. It isn't just IQ, it is something that can affect them behaviorally and socially. There are entire books that discuss this.

Of course, there are times my questions are best served in another forum. My breast-feeding issues with my very high needs and highly gifted daughter I dealt with on the breast-feeding forums. There are other time, my behavioural questions are best dealt with on a gifted board.


Tammy

If it's a "special needs issue" then why not post in the Special Needs Forum?

[eclipse]

Originally Posted by JL83

If it's a "special needs issue" then why not post in the Special Needs Forum?

The gifted forum started out as a thread in the special needs forum. It was an uncomfortable paring - a lot people with special needs children were uncomfortable with parents posting gifted issues there, and many parents of gifted kids felt uncomfortable posting about their issues there too (It's hard to ask for suggestions about helping your newling reading two year old right under a post from a mom upset and wondering if her child with dyslexia with ever be able to read without struggling.) -thus the Gifted Forum was created.

[JollyGG]

Originally Posted by artgoddess

Is there really some sort of reason why any post should be considered "worthy" or not for this forum? Are their posts that are not "worthy" of the grief and loss forum, or not "worthy" of the Life with a babe forum? I guess I'm having a difficult time understanding where posts started having worth or not attached to them.

And if my posts in grief and loss or life with babe got moved I'd feel the same way. If something I posted in grief and loss got moved and I honestly felt it belonged there because my grief or loss colored some other part of my life and the post was moved I would feel that someone was saying my grief wasn't worthy of the members of that boards consideration and that my loss wasn't important enough to color the rest of my life. If I posted in "Life with a babe" and it was moved I would feel that someone was saying that my experiences with my child weren't worth considering in the context I hoped they'd be received when I posted where I did.

When a post is moved it basically saying that it didn't have value where it was. And it questions it's worth.

[Panthira]

To jump off the diving board Tammy built, you can see there ARE issues related to giftedness that surprise people. Such as this:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reactive_hypoglycemia

Causes
There are different kinds of reactive hypoglycemia:[1]

Alimentary Hypoglycemia (consequence of dumping syndrome; it occurs in about 15% of people who have had stomach surgery)

Hormonal Hypoglycemia (due to lack of some hormones; i.e., hypothyroidism)
Helicobacter pylori-induced gastritis (some reports suggest this bacteria may contribute to the occurrence of reactive hypoglycemia)[2]

Congenital enzyme deficiencies (hereditary fructose intolerance, galactosemia, and leucine sensitivity of childhood)[3]

Late Hypoglycemia (Occult Diabetes; characterized by a delay in early insulin release from pancreatic B cells, resulting in initial exaggeration of hyperglycemia during a glucose tolerance test)[4]

Giftedness Reactive hypoglycemia is often seen in children with very high IQs, particularly those children who are skinny and active.[5]

"Idiopathic Reactive Hypoglycemia" is a term no longer used because researchers now know the underlying causes of reactive

[Roar]

Originally Posted by GuildJenn

Because it actually isn't the same experience to be read to by a loving and tuned in parent as it is to read to one's self while, say, a parent is making dinner.

I'd feel comfortable reading the Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe to a 5 year old, but not necessarily having the 5 yo read it him/herself, not because of the violence but because of the ideas. A tuned in parent will see if a child's uncomfortable and change the tone, pace, or pause for a hug. A parent watching his or her child turn pages doesn't necessarily have that capacity.

.

Yes, exactly. We discovered this with of all things the fairly mild spanking scene in a Little House book. Had I been reading it aloud I probably would have edited a bit for the super sensitive kid or noticed when the child started to tear up, but a three year old reading alone was something different.

My child is older and I've been an active poster in many forums on MDC and on other forums for many years on topics from homeschooling to special needs to gentle discipline to gifted stuff. I've learned so much from so many of you and I am a more capable parent because of this information.

What strikes me reading this thread is that while I am not really seeking a lot of advice on gifted lists I continue to post because there are certain suggestions that are very specific to gifted concerns that have been incredibly helpful to me over the years. The example of independent reading is a good one. I asked plenty of IRL friends and searched on library websites for suggestions for our preschooler. Suggestions that were appropriate for friend's 10 year olds reading at the 5th grade level often weren't so good for my four year old who was reading at the 5th grade level. It was only when I finally posted on a gifted list that we got the list of suggestions of the books that had the specific combination of nothing scary but plenty of intellectual challenge. This may sound like nothing, but it was pretty much overnight a huge difference in our child's life.

I was sad to read many of the comments in this thread. There are many forums on MDC that hold zero interest for me but I can't imagining questioning why they need to exist because I recognize the entire world isn't about me or my needs. I don't understand how it would harm me that people have boards that aren't about something I care about or value.

The thing I haven't been able to understand is specifically what topics would be considered on topic for the gifted forum.

[alegna]

Gentle question- I know that the mod team at times has included moms with kids with special needs. I know that at times those moms have modded special needs.

Does the mod team currently include anyone versed in the needs of the gifted?

Perhaps part of the problem is one of education, as has been mentioned here.

I rarely visit these days, but reading here it sounds like every fight gifted educators have ever had to fight. It sounds as though those making the decisions are perhaps unfamiliar with the special needs of the gifted.

-Angela

[Roar]

Originally Posted by abimommy

People should not post differently to one forum than they would to another.

Is this official MDC policy?

To me MDC is a big conversation. I think anyone with decent social skills using differently conversational styles depending on the audience. Conversations about surviving abuse or coping with cancer should have a different tone than conversations about how to save money on kid's clothes. It seems to me all of these are probably appropriate conversations to have on MDC. While surviving abuse does relate to parenting it isn't moved there and while saving money on school clothes relates to learning on school a person who posted on the board for frugal moms may prefer to get answers from experienced frugal moms rather than bothering everyone who has kids who go to school.

[JL83]

Originally Posted by alegna

Gentle question- I know that the mod team at times has included moms with kids with special needs. I know that at times those moms have modded special needs.

Does the mod team currently include anyone versed in the needs of the gifted?

Perhaps part of the problem is one of education, as has been mentioned here.

I rarely visit these days, but reading here it sounds like every fight gifted educators have ever had to fight. It sounds as though those making the decisions are perhaps unfamiliar with the special needs of the gifted.

-Angela

I don't think it matters. Kids are kids.

I think the problem is that it feels like the regular posters in the gifted forum don't think that advice from parents of non gifted children has any value. So they only want advice from other parents of gifted kids. That's kind of hurtful.

Not everything a gifted child does is because they are gifted.

[eclipse]

Originally Posted by JL83

I don't think it matters. Kids are kids.

I think the problem is that it feels like the regular posters in the gifted forum don't think that advice from parents of non gifted children has any value. So they only want advice from other parents of gifted kids. That's kind of hurtful.

Not everything a gifted child does is because they are gifted.

No one said everything they do is because they are gifted. And no one said parents of kids who aren't gifted don't have things of value to contribute.

I could post about my son's speech delay in parenting or health and healing just as easily as I post about it in Special Needs. But the moms who are specifically noting and responding to posts in the SN forum generally have a different take on it, and that's the perspective I'm looking for if I post about it there - but I don't think anyone would feel like I was being hurtful to put it there.

[Panthira]

On that note, not all things disabled people do are because they are disabled. However, their lives do (unfortunately, forced by society) revolve around that disability. For example, my 17 yr old son who is severely physically disabled can "speak" 3 languages fluently. I need help trying to figure out a program to help him read and speak spanish auditorily. I'm not going to go to the gifted forum, even though I suspect he IS gifted, because I need advice on how to cope with the disabled aspect of this issue. I suppose I "could" post in the gifted forum, and I betcha it wouldn't be moved to the special needs forum, and I doubt the gifted mamas and papas would be able to help me with the right solution in my DS1's case.

[alegna]

Originally Posted by JL83

I don't think it matters. Kids are kids.

I think the problem is that it feels like the regular posters in the gifted forum don't think that advice from parents of non gifted children has any value. So they only want advice from other parents of gifted kids. That's kind of hurtful.

Not everything a gifted child does is because they are gifted.

This proves my point.

Things that special needs kids do are kid things too. But they sometimes need feedback from other moms of special needs kids.

-Angela

[mamazee]

I guess I don't get this. I understand that there's a homeschooling forum, and moms who homeschool use that as a resource. But my dd does a lot of work of that nature after school - much of what is done there is also done in my house, after my dd gets home each day from public school, on weekends, and over summer break. But I understand that homeschooling moms want the input specifically from other homeschooling moms, even though in some cases my experience with my dd during the summer, on weekends, after school could potentially be relevant. The fact that they're looking for advice on a homeschooling forum from other homeschooling parents doesn't bother me. Are threads about books and whatever being moved from there to Parenting? I suppose if all forums are treated the same, it's at least fair, but it does look like the gifted forum is being singled out.

[ChristaN]

Originally Posted by alegna

This proves my point.

Things that special needs kids do are kid things too. But they sometimes need feedback from other moms of special needs kids.

-Angela

I'd venture to say that their moms need not only feedback from parents facing similar issues in their children but also moderation from a parent who understands the issue. For instance, I wouldn't have any idea whether a thread someone posted in the traditional foods forum regarding, let's say, the volume of their hair related to that specific diet and belonged in that forum or whether I ought to move it to the natural body care forum b/c I am vegan.

That said, I have no idea who the mods on the PTGC forum are at this point. I do agree that mods who understand the issues of the forums are beneficial though -- twin moms on the multiples forum, vegetarians on the veggie forum, parents who agree with AP on this entire board...

Like Roar, I post on the PTGC board as much to offer my advice as to seek advice at this point. I was not aware that either of my children were gifted until my oldest was 6.5 y/o. I have run into some issues related to my younger dd in the past year and had some great experiences with my older one in the past year as well. I have started a few threads there (and on the pre-teen and learning at school forums) related to these things. I do enjoy being at the point, though, where I've lived through the stage of realizing what is going on with my kids enough that I have some hope to offer those who are just coming to terms with their kids' needs.

I posted in the veggie forum almost exclusively for some time a few years back. I rarely post there anymore b/c, like others have mentioned, it just isn't where I am in my life and parenting right now. I am still veggie as are my kids, but it doesn't dominate my day to day life. My dds will still be gifted, but it won't be as much of an issue as they continue to get older and I am no longer struggling with making educational decisions for them. We evolve and the forums we visit evolve along with us.

I don't believe that posting more in one forum than anywhere else is indicative of a problem nor do I believe that modifying how you post from forum to forum is a problem. For instance, when I posted about my middle schooler's organizational problems in the pre-teen forum last school year I didn't immediately identify her as a young 10 y/o b/c I didn't want to derail the thread into a discussion of why she was in middle school at that age. I just wanted to figure out how to get the kid to stop losing her school books!

[AutumnSunshine]

Originally Posted by no5no5

I feel very sad that we have to have a discussion justifying the need for a gifted forum. I joined MDC for the pregnancy forums, discovered & delved into many other forums, and posted extensively on the loss forums before I even discovered the gifted forum. MDC is like a home to me and the gifted board is one of the only places I can find support and advice dealing with my daughter's special needs. I was thrilled to have found it, and the great community who posts there, but I feel very, very hurt at the accusations leveled against us. Perhaps the MDC forums are not as loving, inclusive, and supportive as I had previously thought.

:

I can't remember if I have ever posted in the PTGC forum but I subscribe and lurk there. The tone of some of the posts in defense of the post relocations are shockingly ignorant of the reality. Sometimes you just need to ask your question in a forum where there are other parents who know what you're dealing with in your specific type of situation. The fact that there are some parents who have gifted children but choose not to participate in that particular forum is not in any way a logical justification for mandating that most posts go to the general forums... it's like saying "why post about this issue on MDC since there are many mothers who choose not to post on MDC and you are missing out on the opinions of people who don't participate." That kind of logic could keep going on and on...

I'm very sorry that this is turning into the same age-old nonsense about "elitism" and whether or not it is even useful to label a child "gifted". : So either have a gifted forum (my preference) or if MDC has some official "problem" with the idea of giftedness, then don't have it at all.

But the name of the forum, by the way, is Parenting the Gifted Child, so allow people to post about "parenting their gifted children". The name of the forum is not "issues that are specific to gifted children and ONLY gifted children" but that seems to be how the mods are demanding that it be. If that is the case, nothing will remain in the forum!

[earthmama369]

I sometimes post in the special needs forum, sometimes in the gifted forum, and sometimes in the parenting forum, depending on what type of information and specificity of response I'm looking for. I feel like I'm a fairly intelligent, rational adult and I can handle making these decisions on my own. This thread highlights again a growing concern I have about MDC.

I've modded forums and e-lists before. Large ones, even, where I received well over 3,000 messages a day that I was responsible for moderating. For my own sanity, and for the health of the general community, I found it wise to adopt a policy similar to that of an AP, GD parent. Unless something was *really* out of place -- like someone asking a question about their 3-year-old in the parenting teens forum -- I gave my members the freedom and assumed they had the intelligence and common sense to post where it suited them best. I saw my job as to gently guide posters who were new or consistently had difficulty in the forums (because there are always a few), but I didn't make it my business to scrutinize and pick apart every single post. That's a Sysyphian task and in the long run, it doesn't actually benefit the community. Rather the opposite.

I think in some ways MDC has made great strides in development over the past few years. In others, I'd love to see MDC get back to its roots. Sooooo many threads get removed for review, moved, or flat-out removed on a daily basis, and that tells me that either MDC is supremely unhealthy if there are so many problems on a daily basis, or it's adopted a policy of overmoderation that is going to burn out its moderators with an unreasonable workload and turn off its members, who would like to be given credit where credit's due, as reasonable adults who can figure out where they want to put their posts and maintain a conversation without constant hovering and interruption. (Isn't there a term for that? Helicopter parenting?)

There has to be a solution here that will result in more of a balanced system.

[Roar]

Originally Posted by JL83

I don't think it matters. Kids are kids.

I think the problem is that it feels like the regular posters in the gifted forum don't think that advice from parents of non gifted children has any value. So they only want advice from other parents of gifted kids. That's kind of hurtful.

Not everything a gifted child does is because they are gifted.

Welcome. I see you joined MDC four days ago. Is it a concern for you that it might be difficult after such a short period to speak accurately about the feelings of a whole group of people?

[Just Kate]

Originally Posted by earthmama369

I sometimes post in the special needs forum, sometimes in the gifted forum, and sometimes in the parenting forum, depending on what type of information and specificity of response I'm looking for. I feel like I'm a fairly intelligent, rational adult and I can handle making these decisions on my own. This thread highlights again a growing concern I have about MDC.

I've modded forums and e-lists before. Large ones, even, where I received well over 3,000 messages a day that I was responsible for moderating. For my own sanity, and for the health of the general community, I found it wise to adopt a policy similar to that of an AP, GD parent. Unless something was *really* out of place -- like someone asking a question about their 3-year-old in the parenting teens forum -- I gave my members the freedom and assumed they had the intelligence and common sense to post where it suited them best. I saw my job as to gently guide posters who were new or consistently had difficulty in the forums (because there are always a few), but I didn't make it my business to scrutinize and pick apart every single post. That's a Sysyphian task and in the long run, it doesn't actually benefit the community. Rather the opposite.

I think in some ways MDC has made great strides in development over the past few years. In others, I'd love to see MDC get back to its roots. Sooooo many threads get removed for review, moved, or flat-out removed on a daily basis, and that tells me that either MDC is supremely unhealthy if there are so many problems on a daily basis, or it's adopted a policy of overmoderation that is going to burn out its moderators with an unreasonable workload and turn off its members, who would like to be given credit where credit's due, as reasonable adults who can figure out where they want to put their posts and maintain a conversation without constant hovering and interruption. (Isn't there a term for that? Helicopter parenting?)

There has to be a solution here that will result in more of a balanced system.

This exactly. I'm a long time lurker and rarely dare to post do to the intimidating atmosphere here.