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"We don't _____" Rules you never realized you had until you had a toddler.

post #1 of 323
Thread Starter 
This came up a lot in the YKYATPOAT thread, so I thought I'd do a spin-off.

What rules have you discovered that you live by that you'd never been aware of before having a toddler?

Here are some of mine:

"We don't eat with our feet on the table."
"We don't put daddy's earplugs in our vulva."
"We don't don't do handstands while we nurse."

What rules have you discovered?
post #2 of 323
"We don't pull on our brothers penis" springs to mind.
post #3 of 323
"We don't pee on toads."
post #4 of 323
"We don't body-slam the baby" (he didn't *really* body slam the baby, but he was pretending and I was afraid it was going to turn real)

"We don't put things in our foreskin"
post #5 of 323
never thought I'd have to make a "we wear underwear while using scissors" rule
post #6 of 323
We don't put chopsticks in our ears.

-----------------------------------------

Quote:
Originally Posted by dnr3301 View Post
never thought I'd have to make a "we wear underwear while using scissors" rule
OK if this thread was a contest, you'd win! :
post #7 of 323
Quote:
Originally Posted by dnr3301 View Post
never thought I'd have to make a "we wear underwear while using scissors" rule
:

"we don't ride the cat like a horse"
"we don't put bobby pins in our penis"
"we don't barf into peoples hands when we don't like our food"
"we don't eat coconut foot cream"
"we don't put unwanted food/toys between mom's boobs"
"we don't give people our boogers"
"we don't try to look at our yoni when we pee, pee goes everywhere"

dd arches her pelvis to watch herself pee and then the pee arcs over the toilet seat. our bathroom always smells so fresh.
post #8 of 323
we don't put birthday candles or knitting needles in our vagina.
post #9 of 323
oh yeah and one of my favorites:

"our buttcrack is not a pocket"
post #10 of 323
we don't rub our pacifier in poop and then put it back in mouth. :
post #11 of 323
"We don't bless ourselves in the toilet. Toilet water is not holy water."
post #12 of 323
"We don't draw on the cat."
post #13 of 323
Quote:
Originally Posted by francie024 View Post
we don't rub our pacifier in poop and then put it back in mouth. :
post #14 of 323
We do not sit in the laundry basket to eat our snack.
We do not bite the cat's tail.

I had to share this with my husband and I will tell you that I was laughing too hard to get through some of these without a break.
post #15 of 323
We don't peepee in the doggie's water bowl (best of all: not our dog).
post #16 of 323
We don't hide uncapped markers in our shirt.
We don't sit on our brother and pretend he's a horse when he wants to get up.
post #17 of 323
We don't fart on people's faces.
post #18 of 323
We do not:
draw on our arms, hands, back, the floor or mommy's truck with markers - especially not sharpies.
pee pee on the grass in public, when a toilet is available
stick thermometers, pens, coins in our vulva/ vagina
sit on the counter with a nakie butt
lick the tub
post #19 of 323
we don't ...
eat toothpaste.
say "what the frickin he$#" when grandma is around.
use our fingers to eat dip from the dip bowl at a potluck table
cut holes in our new socks
play in the cat litter
pee in the veggie garden
post #20 of 323
I can't believe somebody else already said, we don't ride the cat like a horse!
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