"We don't _____" Rules you never realized you had until you had a toddler.

[Thalia]

This came up a lot in the YKYATPOAT thread, so I thought I'd do a spin-off.

What rules have you discovered that you live by that you'd never been aware of before having a toddler?

Here are some of mine:

"We don't eat with our feet on the table."
"We don't put daddy's earplugs in our vulva."
"We don't don't do handstands while we nurse."

What rules have you discovered?

[~Charlie's~Angel~]

"We don't pull on our brothers penis" springs to mind.

[Mama Mko]

"We don't pee on toads."

[CallMeMommy]

"We don't body-slam the baby" (he didn't *really* body slam the baby, but he was pretending and I was afraid it was going to turn real)

"We don't put things in our foreskin"

[dnr3301]

never thought I'd have to make a "we wear underwear while using scissors" rule

[CanBoo]

We don't put chopsticks in our ears.

-----------------------------------------

Originally Posted by dnr3301

never thought I'd have to make a "we wear underwear while using scissors" rule

OK if this thread was a contest, you'd win! :

[ScarletBegonias]

Originally Posted by dnr3301

never thought I'd have to make a "we wear underwear while using scissors" rule

:

"we don't ride the cat like a horse"
"we don't put bobby pins in our penis"
"we don't barf into peoples hands when we don't like our food"
"we don't eat coconut foot cream"
"we don't put unwanted food/toys between mom's boobs"
"we don't give people our boogers"
"we don't try to look at our yoni when we pee, pee goes everywhere"

dd arches her pelvis to watch herself pee and then the pee arcs over the toilet seat. our bathroom always smells so fresh.

[mysticmomma]

we don't put birthday candles or knitting needles in our vagina.

[ScarletBegonias]

oh yeah and one of my favorites:

"our buttcrack is not a pocket"

[francie024]

we don't rub our pacifier in poop and then put it back in mouth. :

[Fay]

"We don't bless ourselves in the toilet. Toilet water is not holy water."

[nolonger]

"We don't draw on the cat."

[fruitlove]

Originally Posted by francie024

we don't rub our pacifier in poop and then put it back in mouth. :

[ErikaG]

We do not sit in the laundry basket to eat our snack.
We do not bite the cat's tail.

I had to share this with my husband and I will tell you that I was laughing too hard to get through some of these without a break.

[JessBB]

We don't peepee in the doggie's water bowl (best of all: not our dog).

[phathui5]

We don't hide uncapped markers in our shirt.
We don't sit on our brother and pretend he's a horse when he wants to get up.

[mouthcave]

We don't fart on people's faces.

[Ubelle]

We do not:
draw on our arms, hands, back, the floor or mommy's truck with markers - especially not sharpies.
pee pee on the grass in public, when a toilet is available
stick thermometers, pens, coins in our vulva/ vagina
sit on the counter with a nakie butt
lick the tub

[canadiangranola]

we don't ...
eat toothpaste.
say "what the frickin he$#" when grandma is around.
use our fingers to eat dip from the dip bowl at a potluck table
cut holes in our new socks
play in the cat litter
pee in the veggie garden

[averlee]

I can't believe somebody else already said, we don't ride the cat like a horse!