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"We don't _____" Rules you never realized you had until you had a toddler. - Page 7

post #121 of 323
8/31/09 at 6:29am
　　I love this thread.

We don`t lick the restaurant wall...or the sink
We don`t open a public toilet door while Mommy is in there.
and no, Mommy does not look good with Daddy`s pajama pants on her head.

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post #122 of 323
8/31/09 at 8:44am
Dont close DVD cases on your penis, it will hurt. (He only did that one once!)

Mummys phone does not belong in the bin...or the toilet...or the cupboards.

ME: Honey, dont put your toy food in the guinea pigs cage, it will make them sick.
DS (age 2): No it wont.
ME: Yes it will.
DS: No it wont.
ME:Yes it will!
DS: No it WONT! (then comes the realisation that you are arguing with a toddler...never thought I'd do that!)
post #123 of 323
8/31/09 at 2:48pm
"Please don't rub your penis on Daddy's mouth guard, he will not use it again and we'll have to buy a new one." Had to talk about this on 2 separate occasions. If it happens again I plan on washing it and not telling dh, it's getting expensive.

"Marshmallows are not for breakfast, they're a special treat." Almost every day this week out of nowhere he makes this request.

"Poop doesn't go on the floor/bed it goes in the potty."

"Don't stand between Mommy's knees when I'm trying to wipe, back up please. Please back up. Go see what Daddy's doing. Sigh, go away."
post #124 of 323
8/31/09 at 4:34pm
"We don't scrub our testicles with mommy's toothbrush."
post #125 of 323
8/31/09 at 4:44pm
We have a lot of crazy ones ("no butts on people," for example) but the latest is "no flipping over someone - and that includes a somersault!"
post #126 of 323
8/31/09 at 5:12pm
we don't answer the phone "wrong numba!" and then hang up.
we do not drag things out of the dirty clothes to have picnics on.
we do not ride the broom like a stick horse when naked.
we don't eat cat food. when pestered why, why, I finally just said, because it's not vegetarian.
post #127 of 323
8/31/09 at 6:23pm
We don't pull mama's pants down!!


I wear a lot of yoga pants around the house.
post #128 of 323
8/31/09 at 8:04pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Vortexing View Post
How about:

We don't put allen wrenches in the dog's anus, she doesn't need "tightened".

(Especially when the dog is a 13 year old, blind, deaf, arthritic Labrador who never would've seen it coming).
Oh no, hahahaha! That is the best/worst thing I've read lately.
post #129 of 323
8/31/09 at 8:30pm
No licking Mama's butt

and

No painting vulvas with fingernail polish were two rules I had to create lately.
post #130 of 323
8/31/09 at 8:36pm
Spoke too soon, apparently "not sticking q-tips in our vagina" is another needed rule at our house.
post #131 of 323
8/31/09 at 9:58pm
This is a hilarious thread!
How about:
We don't put your finger in your sisters butt.
We don't pull our pants down at a restaurant
We don't stick the peas we don't want to eat in our nose, ears or other small holes on our bodies.
We don't throw food in the bathtub.
Oh yes, and my favorite, we don't stick our unfinished lunch down the babies diapers.

That was interesting, to change the babies diaper and find hot dogs, carrots sticks and grapes shoved down the back of her fuzzi bunz.
post #132 of 323
8/31/09 at 11:14pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by adamsfam07 View Post
Oh yes, and my favorite, we don't stick our unfinished lunch down the babies diapers.
: I had to LOL at that one!
post #133 of 323
6/6/10 at 11:53pm
post #134 of 323
6/7/10 at 11:45am
Parking meters are not for licking. Um, yeah, for real I said that.
post #135 of 323
6/7/10 at 11:53am
Originally posted 8/2009!!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Barbie64g
We don't drink the bath water. ESPECIALLY after we have peed in it.
Quote:
Originally Posted by ~LadyBug~ View Post
If you can figure out how to enforce this rule, PLEASE share it with me....I have the same problem
Its been almost a year, and I still havent figured out how to get him to stop drinking the bath water. His brother has now followed suit. Fortunatly, the older one is PLing, and pees before getting in the tub. I cant be sure about the little guy.

I have resorted to just letting it go.
post #136 of 323
6/7/10 at 11:55am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Barbie64g View Post
Originally posted 8/2009!!



Its been almost a year, and I still havent figured out how to get him to stop drinking the bath water. His brother has now followed suit. Fortunatly, the older one is PLing, and pees before getting in the tub. I cant be sure about the little guy.

I have resorted to just letting it go.
Let me guess...leans over and sips it? Yeah, I'm there with you. We only worry if he does it after he's been soaped (um, soap water? gross)
post #137 of 323
6/7/10 at 11:59am
We don't tell other people about the size of daddys peeper...
post #138 of 323
6/7/10 at 12:01pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Barbie64g View Post
Originally posted 8/2009!!



Its been almost a year, and I still havent figured out how to get him to stop drinking the bath water. His brother has now followed suit. Fortunatly, the older one is PLing, and pees before getting in the tub. I cant be sure about the little guy.

I have resorted to just letting it go.
We have a "clean water is for drinking" rule. I give him a measuring cup and leave the cold water on trickle so he can fill up the measuring cup and drink that water. I do find that I have to remind him on a very regular (like every bath) basis that clean water is for drinking...
post #139 of 323
6/7/10 at 12:38pm
We don't lick the keyboard.

We don't lick mommy.

We don't lick the cat.

We don't hold the cat down by the neck, if she wants to go, let her go.

We don't corner the cat in a room, if she wants to go, let her go.
post #140 of 323
6/7/10 at 3:08pm
We do not stroke, rub, uncover, or nurse from anyone's boobies but Mommy's.

DD wanted to see Grandma's boobies this weekend while she was babysitting...so she started unbuttoning Grandma's shirt...

And her Montessori preschool teacher told me yesterday that when she (the teacher) is nursing her 10-month-old son at school, DD stands there saying, "Milk! Mmmm, yummy" and making sucking noises while eyeing the teacher's boobs hopefully.

And I can identify with this one:

Quote:
Originally Posted by Camile Rynd View Post
We don't tell other people about the size of daddys peeper...
Announcing, "Daddy has a penis because he's a BIG BOY!" is not something we say in public!
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You may also like:

Sitting or Squatting: What's Really Best in the Bathroom?
There Is Not Always a "Fix" For the Difficult Child
10 Things You Don't Need For a New Baby
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