"We don't _____" Rules you never realized you had until you had a toddler. - Page 15

[peaceful_mama]

Originally Posted by Ubelle 

We do not:
draw on our arms, hands, back, the floor or mommy's truck with markers - especially not sharpies.
pee pee on the grass in public, when a toilet is available
stick thermometers, pens, coins in our vulva/ vagina
sit on the counter with a nakie butt
lick the tub

you know for that sharpie, baby oil will take it off.....I use burts bees apricot!  (see post in this thread "we do not draw cat whiskers on other people's faces"  :lol)
 

[peaceful_mama]

Your newborn brother does not need to suck YOUR thumb, he has his own. 

Carrying the baby is a grown-up job.

When your newborn brother is turning his head toward you and looks like he is trying to eat your shirt, it's time to give him back to mom.

and one for the baby :lol  "no really, you can't suck your thumb and nurse at the same time.  You have to choose, sorry."

(Our baby is 3 weeks old today!)

[peaceful_mama]

"your truck does not need to eat oatmeal"  (DS2, age 2, is in LOVE with trucks.  They go EVERYWHERE and do EVERYTHING with him.  On this day, he informed me he was feeding his truck at breakfast...time to invest in a tiny truck size play gas pump?  :lol)

[~Boudicca~]

We don't...

*shove Polly Pockets in the cat's butt!

*eat the catfood

*go into the neighbor's house while they aren't home, steal the candy canes off their Christmas tree, and then hide in the shower to eat them.

*put paper in our nose

*eat tomato soup with our hands

*draw eyeballs on our forehead with permanent marker

*put our fingers in our butthole

*put the cat in the woodstove (this one was about 5 minutes ago...good thing I didn't have a fire going)

Edited by ~Boudicca~ - 12/19/10 at 2:24pm

[sleepingbeauty]

Originally Posted by peaceful_mama 

you know for that sharpie, baby oil will take it off.....I use burts bees apricot!  (see post in this thread "we do not draw cat whiskers on other people's faces"  :lol)
 

^ I'll remember this then!  This also reminds me of another one.  For the adults at my bst friend's house.

*We do not put the sharpies into the crayon box!!

(I walked in and W was coloring her nails with the blue sharpie.  *facepalm*)

---

V  hahahahahahaha!!

 

Originally Posted by ~Boudicca~ 

We don't...

*shove Polly Pockets in the cat's butt!

*eat the catfood

*go into the neighbor's house while they aren't home, steal the candy canes off their Christmas tree, and then hide in the shower to eat them.

*put paper in our nose

*eat tomato soup with our hands

*draw eyeballs on our forehead with permanent marker

*put our fingers in our butthole

*put the cat in the woodstove (this one was about 5 minutes ago...good thing I didn't have a fire going)

[Thursday Girl]

Daddy's el camino is NOT a trampoline!

We do not touch the cat/dog's vulva/butthole

[Eresh]

We do not bury the baby in a pile of stuffed animals.  That was this morning.

[bluebackpacks]

Please keep your tongue in your mouth for kisses!  

[zakdat]

From DH to DS1

"Your baby brother is not a ramp today. Nor will he be tomorrow. I know. I'm sad about it too."

[littlegreenlady]

um ya

"The toilet seat belongs on the toilet, unscrewing it from the toilet to bi pass the child safety lock is pretty crafty. However it is heavy and you may hurt yourself trying to get at the water."

It took me ages to figure out how this toilet seat worked when it needed to be tightened, and yet my 14 mo figured it out in the few minutes I took brushing my teeth.

[cdmommie]

We don't lick people's faces... or arms... or HAIR!

My 3 year old just started licking people.  She licked my sisters face, arm, and hair yesterday at Christmas Lunch!  And she thinks the reaction is hilarious. 

[myfairbabies]

Mommy won't nurse your baby doll in public.

We don't kiss strangers.

[crabbyowl]

We don't take our pants off in public. 

[peaceful_mama]

This sounds like the time  my oldest, who was SEVEN MONTHS OLD (I think) at the time unscrewed the bar that holds the screen door to the frame.  I know for absolutely certain he was less than 10 months old because we moved out of that trailer when he was almost 11 months old.  Even more amazing than the fact he took that apart----he did not EAT any of the things he removed!  they were all there to put it back together!
 

Originally Posted by littlegreenlady 

um ya

"The toilet seat belongs on the toilet, unscrewing it from the toilet to bi pass the child safety lock is pretty crafty. However it is heavy and you may hurt yourself trying to get at the water."

It took me ages to figure out how this toilet seat worked when it needed to be tightened, and yet my 14 mo figured it out in the few minutes I took brushing my teeth.

[fyrwmn]

we do not brush our newborn brother's teeth...not only does he not have teeth, but he doesn't likeit

we do not steal the baby's blanket in the car

we do no ttake off our shoes and socks in the car and then throw them on the baby

nor do we throw our sippy cup on him

we do not try to nurse from the same side as the baby

we also do not need to knead the breast he is eating from when you nurse at the same time

we don't poke the baby in the eyes, or the nose, or the mouth

we don't try to pick up the baby

just leave the baby alone!

[peaceful_mama]

picking up the baby is a "grown up job"

Do not jump on my bed while I am trying to change your newborn brother's diaper on it.

No hands, feet, knees, etc near the baby's head.

[mmmmochi]

 After making little sausages wrapped in bacon for Christmas dinner, I had to remind ds 4 that his penis was not a sausage and could not, should not be wrapped in bacon too, nor should anyone be sitting at the dinner table in their underwear, or out of it!

[sleepingbeauty]

Originally Posted by mmmmochi 

 After making little sausages wrapped in bacon for Christmas dinner, I had to remind ds 4 that his penis was not a sausage and could not, should not be wrapped in bacon too, nor should anyone be sitting at the dinner table in their underwear, or out of it!

HAHAHHAHAHAHAHA

[lisavark]

We don't eat poop unless we're starving and there's nothing else to eat. DD tells me this every time she poops. It started because DH told her you CAN eat poop (he's into survivalist stuff and wants DD to be prepared; he's always telling her how to skin animals and eat bugs). I amended his statement to "only if we're starving! Which we're NOT!"

[thatgirliknew]

We don't put Cheerios, or anything else, in other people's belly buttons.

We don't put little sister in a box.

We don't lick walls.