LMAO I forgot about this thread!!
"We don't _____" Rules you never realized you had until you had a toddler. - Page 16
You may not rub your penis on the cabinets.
You may not rub your penis on Mama.
You may not stick your penis in Mama's belly button, no matter how hilarious you think that is.
We do not put the baby in the washing machine.
We don't put him in the dryer either.
We do not put our toys in the dogs' water bowl.
We do not put other people's toys in the dogs' water bowl.
We do not put ourselves in the dogs' water bowl.
You may not put your penis in the dogs' water bowl. I don't care if it is a boat. Stop it.
No one but DS may tickle his testicles.
We do not touch anyone's penis but our own. Not even the dogs'. I don't care if you don't have your own, it still applies.
We do not kiss Mama with tongue.
We do not kiss the baby with tongue.
We just don't kiss with tongue period until we're all grown up.
We do not throw people's shoes in the pool. We certainly do not collect and throw everyone's shoes in the pool.
Pee goes in the potty, not in bowls, not in boxes, not on the table, the doggy bed, the Mama bed, the Mama, or the Sissy.
A few of our own:
We do not pick mommy's nose while nursing (or at all).
We do not take our shoes off in the carseat and place them in the cup holders.
We may not have any of Grandpa's beer, regardless of how cute we are or how big we smile.
Kitty is not a stool or a pillow.
Kitty's water fountain is not a splash pad.
We do not stick our entire arm up to our shoulder into mommy's water bottle.
The potty bowl is neither a hat nor a snack, especially while full.
We do not play with our vulva while peeing on the potty and expect a high five for a job well done before washing our hands.
We do not attempt to twist off Grandma's nose; she needs it.
Daddy's underpants do not make fashionable hats.
... and the list goes on. She's 14 months lol