This is new territory for me, because DD1 never went through any of this and my high school life was so long ago that I don't have any good advice to give her.
DD2 has become very close with a group of friends over the summer. C, N and A. Now, DD dated and broke up with D who is one of N's very good friends. DD had some issues with D, but let everything go. He won't speak to her. ('Just friends' did not work out
). Recently (as in, past two weeks or so) these various things happened:
1. N mentioned the guy rule about dating is as follows: a guy waits six months and then can date the ex-girlfriend of one of their friends (both C and DD had a field day with how different that was compared to the girl rule. DH confirmed this rule. That was an interesting dinner discussion...
)
2. asking DD if it was okay if he hung out with D.
3. he was upset that DD is going to miss homecoming this year (Vermont to visit DD1 on Parents Week) he asked 'who was he going to bring?'
4. The other night we were out. When we came home DD got on facebook. There's a chat feature that DD was using. N was on. They chatted for a while and then DD decided to go to bed. While signing off N asked her if the only reason she went on was because he texted her to ask her to. (She didn't have her phone while driving, so her answer to that was she didn't even see the text, just went online)
5. He calls her Princess. Apparently it's a joke between the two, but he doesn't really use it in a 'teasing' context, its more so affectionate.
6. Her good friend B who has only met him once, made the comment to DD that he liked her. (She had a reason, but I can't remember what it is, something N said about DD.)
7. They went to Chicago with a big group of friends. DD and N went to go look at the sculptures while everyone was playing in the water. C's boyfriend asked C if N was going to ask DD out. C said no, but later told both of them about the conversation. DD kinda laughed it off but N didn't as much. C brought up jokingly a 'blood pact' which got the same results as above.
8. That same day, C's boyfriend broke DD's flip-flop (on accident) so most of the rest of the day was spent with DD2 on N's back so she didn't have to walk. (She was only in the city for about another hour, luckily there wasn't a lot of walking after that happened) My dad and stepmom picked DD up (they live in the city and we were going out to a family dinner) and N was running around with DD on his back, just being goofy. She hugged N and C goodbye (they walked her to the car) and he picked her up and was spinning her around. In my mind that's more of a 'boyfriend' thing to do then a friend thing.
9. When A was over the other day he was teasing DD and asking when they were going to start dating.
10. C and N do most of the driving if they go places (they all can't go in the same car due to laws) and N 90% of the time picks DD up. C lives closer to us.
DD claims that they are 'just really good friends' and that she doesn't want to date him (that part is true) and that he's like her 'big brother'. Although DD doesn't think that he likes her, she is now afraid that if he does like her and asks her out it will ruin her friendship with him as well as their little group of four. She can't say yes because she doesn't want to date him, but she can't say no.
It hasn't become an issue yet, but what advice can I give her? Besides 'talk to him'?
(She won't bring this up with him because she doesn't think that he does like her and that would just 'make things really awkward'.)
DD2 has become very close with a group of friends over the summer. C, N and A. Now, DD dated and broke up with D who is one of N's very good friends. DD had some issues with D, but let everything go. He won't speak to her. ('Just friends' did not work out
). Recently (as in, past two weeks or so) these various things happened:1. N mentioned the guy rule about dating is as follows: a guy waits six months and then can date the ex-girlfriend of one of their friends (both C and DD had a field day with how different that was compared to the girl rule. DH confirmed this rule. That was an interesting dinner discussion...
)2. asking DD if it was okay if he hung out with D.
3. he was upset that DD is going to miss homecoming this year (Vermont to visit DD1 on Parents Week) he asked 'who was he going to bring?'
4. The other night we were out. When we came home DD got on facebook. There's a chat feature that DD was using. N was on. They chatted for a while and then DD decided to go to bed. While signing off N asked her if the only reason she went on was because he texted her to ask her to. (She didn't have her phone while driving, so her answer to that was she didn't even see the text, just went online)
5. He calls her Princess. Apparently it's a joke between the two, but he doesn't really use it in a 'teasing' context, its more so affectionate.
6. Her good friend B who has only met him once, made the comment to DD that he liked her. (She had a reason, but I can't remember what it is, something N said about DD.)
7. They went to Chicago with a big group of friends. DD and N went to go look at the sculptures while everyone was playing in the water. C's boyfriend asked C if N was going to ask DD out. C said no, but later told both of them about the conversation. DD kinda laughed it off but N didn't as much. C brought up jokingly a 'blood pact' which got the same results as above.
8. That same day, C's boyfriend broke DD's flip-flop (on accident) so most of the rest of the day was spent with DD2 on N's back so she didn't have to walk. (She was only in the city for about another hour, luckily there wasn't a lot of walking after that happened) My dad and stepmom picked DD up (they live in the city and we were going out to a family dinner) and N was running around with DD on his back, just being goofy. She hugged N and C goodbye (they walked her to the car) and he picked her up and was spinning her around. In my mind that's more of a 'boyfriend' thing to do then a friend thing.
9. When A was over the other day he was teasing DD and asking when they were going to start dating.
10. C and N do most of the driving if they go places (they all can't go in the same car due to laws) and N 90% of the time picks DD up. C lives closer to us.
DD claims that they are 'just really good friends' and that she doesn't want to date him (that part is true) and that he's like her 'big brother'. Although DD doesn't think that he likes her, she is now afraid that if he does like her and asks her out it will ruin her friendship with him as well as their little group of four. She can't say yes because she doesn't want to date him, but she can't say no.
It hasn't become an issue yet, but what advice can I give her? Besides 'talk to him'?
(She won't bring this up with him because she doesn't think that he does like her and that would just 'make things really awkward'.)
