I hate my daughter's hair - WWYD? Poll - Page 2

[Carley]

You guys really don't comb your kid's hair? The knots in my daughter's hair get huge & I DO force her to sit there while I comb them out. What do you do when your kid's hair turns into a rat's nest? Maybe my child has especially cranky hair?

The whole hair and hair combing situation is pretty hellacious on both of us, but I'm afraid I'll injure her if I came out with the scissors.

When I have the energy for it I also braid before bed, but it's an equally hellacious feat. Sometimes - no a LOT of times - I just don't want to end the night like that.

Suggestions from people with unruly children with unruly hair?

[BellinghamCrunchie]

I vote for giving her a popsicle or lollipop and climbing into the tub with her, slathering it with Shikai conditioner, then slowly and carefully combing it out.

[Keria]

I think she looks cute with long hair :

[isign]

Originally Posted by 1growingsprout

Johnsons & Johnsons spray on detangler, its about $3 a bottle and i use about 2 bottles a week for all my kids... its a total life saver.... long hair, short hair, wet hair, dry hair....all kids get 'sprayed' before brushing....

Love this stuff!! My niece, 4.5, is the same way. Her mom lets her keep it down all day and it's in her face and drives me nuts. When I deal with her 'mop' as we call it (DH told her he's going to put her in the bucket and turn her upside down and clean the floor) I let it air dry somewhat, and then I use the detangler. We always discuss a hair style, which usually involves curls but I always want her to have atleast the top part up out of her face. Once I whip out the curling iron, she doesn't care what I do, even if the curls don't last long.

[MusicianDad]

Babymoma's most effective means of keeping her hair (full, but thin individually and very prone to tangles) tangle free over knight is to braid it.

[sleepnrain]

Are you trimming it regularly? That's always been the best way to keep my hair under control - get rid of split ends, make sure it's healthy - it's much less scraggly that way. I've also heard olive oil is a great conditioning treatment!

[eepster]

When I was a kid, my mom just didn't understand hair, and could not keep my in order. I had to figure it out on my own. I will go over mistakes mom made, I don't know if you are making the same mistakes, but here they are.

Mom brushed my hair. Brushing damages hair. Damaged hair tangles more easily. Don't brush it, comb it. A nice wide tooth comb like this http://www.amazon.com/Mason-Pearson-...966221&sr=8-20
(the one I actually use is much cheaper, from CVS, but the same design.)

Mom started trying to detangle up at the top. Start at the very ends. Once the bottom two inches are smooth, go up a bit. While working on the bottom, hold onto the hair above, so the roots aren't being tugged.

Mom rinsed our hair after shampooing with bath water. Always rinse with fresh water. The soap left in bath water usually has a high PH which opens the cuticles along the hair shaft causing it to mat. Also, it will leave soap residue on the hair. Having hard water, also effects hair.

She started braids too high on the head, and made them too tight. B/c of this they were uncomfortable. the most comfortable braids to sleep in are a pair of pigtails that start at the bottom of the ears, and it's OK if wisps along the neck and face don't make it into the braid.

Mom used rubberbands not hair elastics. Use wrapped hair elastics only. There really is a big difference, just trust me.

Mom believed in haircuts, but not trims. Getting just a half an inch off the very ends makes things much better. Just b/c she doesn't want a bob, doesn't mean you shouldn't pay for a trip to the hairdresser. Also, don't make each trip a fight to get a bit more than the half inch off, or she won't want to go in for the half inch.

Mom never bothered to shampoo after very chlorinated pools. After swimming in a chlorinated pool, it is very important to wash hair throughly.

[Cascadian]

The issue I have with DD's hair is that it looks stringy at the end of the day. Her hair is so slippery-straight that it's hard to keep things in it.

Few tips to add to the above:

1) I found a hair detangler comb at the drugstore - never saw one like it before (new?) - http://www.goody.com/Products/Collec...ling_Comb.aspx
The pic doesn't do it justice - the teeth are double, and one of the teeth is bent at an angle - I have NO idea how it works, it WORKS (with DRY hair).

2) Don't wet her hair in the shower unless I'm actually washing it with shampoo. I put it in a bun. The water seems to make her hair stringy.

3) Cool blowdry, with dryer pointing DOWN the hair shaft makes the hair scales lay properly and makes hair shiny and full.

4) Soft boar's hair brush - brush underneath as well as the top. This makes the hair less stringy.

5) Since I found this site, we've been doing lots of creative hairstyles which helps: http://hair4myprincess.blogspot.com/



HTH!!!

[potatofairy]

i think it looks cute!

when my hair gets the scraggles i use a clear henna on it to make it smoother and easier to deal with. i dunno if you could get a kid to sit through the process(it's kinda fun though, you look like a swamp creature) but there are also hippy shampoos with henna in them.

[KMK_Mama]

I just convinced my 7yo to get her hair cut short for this very reason. I never would have had it cut against her will, but I told her I thought we should get it cut because she hated to brush it...and whenever I would insist on brushing it she would end up in tears screaming in pain. So, it's to her chin now and stacked a little in the back and it ADORABLE. It's been MUCH easier to deal with.

The stylist did use a product when we went though that had me convinced that she could keep her long hair, but DD still wanted it cut in the end so we went with it. It was a product by Bed Head called "After Party." It says to use it on dry hair to control frizz, but she put a tiny bit on DD's wet hair and it combed right through!

[AbbieB]

I'm in the exact same boat. DD looks great with a bob but insists on letting it grow, bangs too. My DD likes to cut a random chuck out of her's about every six months so I have had some leverage on getting it cut (I shamelessly blame it on her for cutting it.

DD will be 6 in October and I feel like it's time to let her have input. So I repeat daily when I here a big "NO" to brushing her hair, "If you want to have long hair, we have to brush it everyday." She still accuses me of killing her every time but she cooperates.

eepster had some great tips. I will add that I do not wash my kids hair very often. There hair is not stinky and looks clean so it's not an issue. They do get it wet daily (DD bathes frequently for fun and relaxation.)

[2xy]

I would try to talk her into cutting it.

Products are great, but your daughter's hair looks to me like my hair was as a kid....fine, thin, and flyaway. Not only does this type of hair tangle and knot SUPER easy, but it also tends to look "flat" as it gets long, and has more body, shape, and style if kept above the shoulders.

My mother's hair is still fine and thin like that, and she wears it down to her waist and it looks awful. It just hangs from her head with no body whatsoever. I got lucky and my hair got thicker as I got older.

[octobermom]

Okay I'll be the advocate for cutting. i have a child that screams bloodly murser if you approach her with a brush still fuses like crazy when you wash her hair she hates anything put in her hair like clips bows bands ect. She will however chew off chunks of it if its allowed to get into her mouth.. And then last year we got lice twice.... having to maticously comb through every strand of thick tangled hair on a child that assumes you are torturing them for touching there head.. Nope that was the finial straw our dd will keep her hair short untill she can stand someone touching her head.. Once we insisted she was fine with it.

Deanna

[FondestBianca]

Originally Posted by pumpkin

Its not a children's product, but Paul Mitchel Skinny Serum does wonders for keeping my long hair untangled.

totally agreed!! I HATE the feel of product but love the paul mitchel serum. It doesn't feel oily, heavy, or greesey. I put it all through my hair after I shower and sometimes toward the ends prior to flat ironing. I've used about 5 or 6 other so-called similar products and disliked all of them. Using a "refining" shampoo every 5 washes or so helps as well.

Getting it wet prior to brushing can help as well. I have to do that with dd's hair. Her hair is poofy and curly. If nothing else you may have to just cut it short again. Sometimes long hair is just too high maintence for little girls... especially girls who don't have naturally silky, smooth hair (I had terrible tangle problems when I was a kid). My mom used to use a mane and tail detangler (meant for horses. comes in a spray bottle) on my hair when it was wet to be able to get the tangles out. I seem to remember it working well and not making my hair feel icky afterwards.

[Carley]

Originally Posted by octobermom

Okay I'll be the advocate for cutting. i have a child that screams bloodly murser if you approach her with a brush still fuses like crazy when you wash her hair she hates anything put in her hair like clips bows bands ect.

YES! That is totally my daughter! Did you cut it yourself? I'm seriously concerned about injury with scissors, hence she does not receive trims etc.

It's freaking ridiculous. My husband and I decided this weekend we're taking her in for a cut & if she loses her stuff we're cutting it in her sleep...

...unless someone has suggestions other than "rationalizing" with a very determined 3 yo. or just allowing her to go around with a dready head.

[artgoddess]

Originally Posted by Carley

I came into this thread hoping I would see advocacy for restraints & against-the-will cutting.

I, too, absolutely hate my daughter's hair. It's coarse and curly & impossible to comb through. She screams when I comb it & it makes us both crazy - yes, the natural consequence of having ratty hair is that you have to have it combed or we get it cut. She opts for screaming while combing.
She runs and screams when I've even talked about getting it cut. My husband tried to convince her & offered to take her to his "stylist."

Nothing.

I seriously want to shave it off while she's sleeping.

I hate it.

Hate.

Stop combing it!!!!!!

I have very curly hair. My mom had some curl, but really it was just wavy. She did not know how to deal with it. So she either tortured me, or she kept it short and people thought I was a boy until i was 8 years old. It was a horrible way to feel as a child, that there was something wrong with me because of my hair.

It wasn't until I was in college that i grew to love my long curly locks. it wasn't until high school that I learned not to try and comb/brush it.

You ladies need to find a new hair routine. First of all stop using shampoo daily. Try to use once a week or less. Condition. I condition daily, even though I shampoo monthly. And comb while the wet with the conditioner in the hair, first with fingers then with a wide tooth comb. Squeeze hair dry with towel, and do not blow dry. Don't weigh hair down with product. if it really really is dry and needs something then a pea sized amount of jojoba oil rubbed in the palms and run through damp hair with hands is all. Let hair air dry. Don't let her go to bed with head wet.

please, I know I'm projecting here, but don't torture your daughters or make them feel like there is something wrong with their appearance because of their hair. It was such a hard thing for me to get over.

[Carley]

Originally Posted by artgoddess

Stop combing it!!!!!!

You ladies need to find a new hair routine. First of all...

I'm sorry you had such a hard time.

I'm not going to allow my child to run around with a nasty rats nest in her hair. It's just not acceptable.

Your suggestions are included in our routine already, just add lots of screaming and protest via loud 3 yo. You're right, though, I do need a new routine, and that routine is called a hair cut.

Anyone have any advice on how to cut a crazy 3yo's hair?

[octobermom]

Amazingly we/ve been able to take her to a salon for her hair cuts and shes been fine (why they can do it and not us I don't know?) shes fusses all the way there but then is fine when its happening.

Deanna

Originally Posted by Carley

YES! That is totally my daughter! Did you cut it yourself? I'm seriously concerned about injury with scissors, hence she does not receive trims etc.

It's freaking ridiculous. My husband and I decided this weekend we're taking her in for a cut & if she loses her stuff we're cutting it in her sleep...

...unless someone has suggestions other than "rationalizing" with a very determined 3 yo. or just allowing her to go around with a dready head.

[Carley]

Originally Posted by octobermom

Amazingly we/ve been able to take her to a salon for her hair cuts and shes been fine (why they can do it and not us I don't know?) shes fusses all the way there but then is fine when its happening.

Deanna

SO encouraging!!!! Thank you!!!!

[octobermom]

You ladies need to find a new hair routine. First of all stop using shampoo daily. Try to use once a week or less. Condition. I condition daily, even though I shampoo monthly.

My DD does not have curly hair actually she has thick straight hair not washing makes it look and feel horrible. We have to wash at least 2 times a week or her hair gets super itchy oily and matted where she pulls out chunks. we have to be careful about over conditioning as well. Not all hair types work the same

deanna