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Frustrating article

post #1 of 5
Thread Starter 
Has anyone seen this article?
http://parenting.ivillage.com/newbor...mqvdvw,00.html

Although I feel the deepest sympathy for her emotional struggles, I think the article could send the wrong message.

Thoughts?
post #2 of 5
I think the article reflects one of the challenges which the time our culture has spent formula-feeding, leaves us to face.

When breastmilk was really the only option, unless someone was rich enough to afford a wetnurse, or couldn't breastfeed and had a family member do so for them or whatever --- then we all knew that newborn babies needed to be nursed on demand, around the clock, for the first few weeks of their lives.

When someone else can (and sometimes does) "give the baby the bottle," then that 'round the clock schedule is less overwhelming (and less obvious). Parents can go out for a 6 hour date night and not worry about pumping, or bringing baby, or who's feeding baby. The babysitter does it.

And this is what is considered 'normal' for babydom. I think even if we didn't think it was normal, most mothers would still be overwhelmed by the first couple months of newborn days and the change in their world (and their partner's world). That's why we really need support (grandparents, aunts/uncles, friends, doulas) when we are first home with a newborn if at all possible.

....It is unfortunate that the author had latch issues, and apparently a rough LC at the hospital. I think that could certainly have compounded her worries about breastfeeding, and how difficult the time it took seemed to be for her. She doesn't mention it, but I wonder whether she also felt like she couldn't nurse in public (I know many mothers struggle with NIP while using nipple shields).

In the end, though, I do think one thing we battle as lactivists, is that the 'normal' baby in our cultural references, is often a formula-fed baby, with commensurate feeding patterns etc.
post #3 of 5
I think the author's main point is actually quite valid: breastfeeding does not equal good mothering, and formula-feeding does not equal bad mothering. Even LLL says precisely this, and its Leaders are trained to affirm the feelings of relief that a mother may express when she decides to wean because of difficulties.

What this article highlights for me is the complete lack of societal support that many new mothers receive. Combined with a relentless public discourse about breastfeeding that casts it as an entirely individual choice and undertaking, it is no wonder that mothers like the one who wrote that article experience tremendous difficulties yet suffer through them essentially alone and not only give up but do so feeling tremendous resentment towards the whole concept of breastfeeding.

"Breast is best" is nothing but a bait and switch if it isn't followed by, "and here is how we will help, encourage, and support you."
post #4 of 5
Quote:
Originally Posted by elanorh View Post
I think the article reflects one of the challenges which the time our culture has spent formula-feeding, leaves us to face.

When breastmilk was really the only option, unless someone was rich enough to afford a wetnurse, or couldn't breastfeed and had a family member do so for them or whatever --- then we all knew that newborn babies needed to be nursed on demand, around the clock, for the first few weeks of their lives.

When someone else can (and sometimes does) "give the baby the bottle," then that 'round the clock schedule is less overwhelming (and less obvious). Parents can go out for a 6 hour date night and not worry about pumping, or bringing baby, or who's feeding baby. The babysitter does it.

And this is what is considered 'normal' for babydom. I think even if we didn't think it was normal, most mothers would still be overwhelmed by the first couple months of newborn days and the change in their world (and their partner's world). That's why we really need support (grandparents, aunts/uncles, friends, doulas) when we are first home with a newborn if at all possible.

....It is unfortunate that the author had latch issues, and apparently a rough LC at the hospital. I think that could certainly have compounded her worries about breastfeeding, and how difficult the time it took seemed to be for her. She doesn't mention it, but I wonder whether she also felt like she couldn't nurse in public (I know many mothers struggle with NIP while using nipple shields).

In the end, though, I do think one thing we battle as lactivists, is that the 'normal' baby in our cultural references, is often a formula-fed baby, with commensurate feeding patterns etc.
I'm one of those. My baby and I got off to a rough start. She needed a shield to latch and I did not feel comfortable NIPing with that. It was hard. Very hard. But we got through it and she ended up latching after a month or two and then we NIP all over the place.
post #5 of 5

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