I'm sure there have been plenty of threads on this, and I have tried searching, but not coming up with what I'm looking for.
Basically, DH and I are struggling with knowing what is age-appropriate behaviour for DD and also what we can reasonably expect her to be able to do at this age (or any other age too!).
I've bought the books "Your 1 year old" (and 2&3!) but it's all very vague and not very much of it seems to apply to DD.
I think we both have unrealistic expectations of what DD (19 months) can and should be able to do, though I do try to keep my expectations pretty low.
DD is very advanced in motor skills, and always has been. She was slightly behind the average on language - no spoken words (though upwards of 150 signs) until a couple of months ago, but now she has a spoken vocabulary of probably over 50 words, in addition to the signs she still uses. She understands *a lot* and if so inclined is well able to follow fairly complicated instructions like "Go get your shoes and put them under the table".
This leads both of us (DH particularly) into believing that she should just be able to do what we tell her to do ( or not). For example, she's fascinated with our laptops, but constantly pulls the keys off or does other not-so-nice things to them and we can't afford to replace them. I try to just keep mine out of her reach as much as possible, and remind her "hands off" when she does get to close. DH though will use his on the coffee table where she can easily reach it and gets frustrated with her when she keeps touching it even after he's told her "no'' and "Don't touch" a number of times.
I'm guessing that although she understands us she lacks the impulse control to stop herself from playing with interesting things. DH thinks that since she clearly understands us there can be no reason other than naughtiness for her to keep doing something she's been told not to.
I really want a list of behaviours and developments that clearly show what kids are capable of at different stages to stop us from expecting too much of DD (if we are!). E.g. when do kids develop impulse control, when can they understand 'wait' or 'later' and be expected to wait for a minute without melting down, when do they develop empathy, and so on. I know that a lot of this is down to the individual kid, but there must be research on the general patterns of development.
TIA
Basically, DH and I are struggling with knowing what is age-appropriate behaviour for DD and also what we can reasonably expect her to be able to do at this age (or any other age too!).
I've bought the books "Your 1 year old" (and 2&3!) but it's all very vague and not very much of it seems to apply to DD.
I think we both have unrealistic expectations of what DD (19 months) can and should be able to do, though I do try to keep my expectations pretty low.
DD is very advanced in motor skills, and always has been. She was slightly behind the average on language - no spoken words (though upwards of 150 signs) until a couple of months ago, but now she has a spoken vocabulary of probably over 50 words, in addition to the signs she still uses. She understands *a lot* and if so inclined is well able to follow fairly complicated instructions like "Go get your shoes and put them under the table".
This leads both of us (DH particularly) into believing that she should just be able to do what we tell her to do ( or not). For example, she's fascinated with our laptops, but constantly pulls the keys off or does other not-so-nice things to them and we can't afford to replace them. I try to just keep mine out of her reach as much as possible, and remind her "hands off" when she does get to close. DH though will use his on the coffee table where she can easily reach it and gets frustrated with her when she keeps touching it even after he's told her "no'' and "Don't touch" a number of times.
I'm guessing that although she understands us she lacks the impulse control to stop herself from playing with interesting things. DH thinks that since she clearly understands us there can be no reason other than naughtiness for her to keep doing something she's been told not to.
I really want a list of behaviours and developments that clearly show what kids are capable of at different stages to stop us from expecting too much of DD (if we are!). E.g. when do kids develop impulse control, when can they understand 'wait' or 'later' and be expected to wait for a minute without melting down, when do they develop empathy, and so on. I know that a lot of this is down to the individual kid, but there must be research on the general patterns of development.
TIA
She is not being naughty, she is being 19 months old. If it is in front of her she HAS to touch it
Patience...
by Lynda Madison. I really like this book because she specifically lays out things like "My 1 year old is not doing this repeatedly because she's bad, she's doing it because she learns through doing." It also talks specifically about what to expect from 1 year olds, 2 year olds, 3 year olds and 4 year olds.
