Things I wish someone had told me about having a baby

[lillacfaerie]

The weight you gain during pregnancy will come off…..but it takes a very long time

Your vagina will shrink back to normal after a year or so….but it will NEVER look the same as it did before (LOL)

Pooping and Peeing will never be the same again

Breastfeeding hurts a lot at first, especially if you have light hair ( I know it sounds like an old wives tale, but all the blondes I know struggled).

Have a lactation consultant on call before you have the baby. You may need help at 2:00 am on Christmas.

YOU know what’s best for YOUR baby. Not Dr. Sears, Dr. Weissbluth, Dr. Spock, Dr. Brazelton or even your mom!

Co-sleeping is a learned skill. You will be disturbed by your baby’s presence in your bed for a while, but then you will sleep soundly. STICK WITH IT!

Your husband/partner will do things differently than you. Let him/her.

You will be unbelievably thirsty while you nurse. You need to have a nursing station with a big bottle of water.

Your baby may want to nurse round the clock. Babies love nursing. It doesn’t mean your baby’s not getting enough milk (as long as they have enough wet diapers)

Babies are not telepathic. They don’t sense your anxiety. I am a nervous wreck and I have such a laidback baby. Babies who are fussy make their mothers nervous. Nervous mothers do not make their babies fussy!

The best thing you can do for your baby is to sit around and be lazy. Take care of baby, and yourself. That’s IT. If someone else in the house wants it clean, let them clean it!

You may not bond with your baby right away. Heck, you may not even feel like you care at all about your baby right away. But, by the time she’s 8 mos or so, you’ll think she hung the moon!

[Chamomile Girl]

Originally Posted by lillacfaerie

Great Post!

The weight you gain during pregnancy will come off…..but it takes a very long time

All my preg weight came off in the first week (except for 5lbs). However I have a completely different shape now...I've gone from a size 8 to a 12, small top to medium ('cause now I have BOOBS!). So, yeah, none of my old clothes fit yet...and I'm still wearing maternity stuff 6 weeks post partum.

Your vagina will shrink back to normal after a year or so….but it will NEVER look the same as it did before (LOL)
Unless you have a C section, and then when you see yourself naked your abdomen is smiling at you.

Pooping and Peeing will never be the same again

Especially since you have to figure out where to put your fussy baby while you go!

Breastfeeding hurts a lot at first, especially if you have light hair ( I know it sounds like an old wives tale, but all the blondes I know struggled).

Just for the record I'm blonde and have had no problem.

Have a lactation consultant on call before you have the baby. You may need help at 2:00 am on Christmas.

YOU know what’s best for YOUR baby. Not Dr. Sears, Dr. Weissbluth, Dr. Spock, Dr. Brazelton or even your mom!

Yeah MOM, geesh.

Co-sleeping is a learned skill. You will be disturbed by your baby’s presence in your bed for a while, but then you will sleep soundly. STICK WITH IT!

And learn how to side-lie breastfeed so you can sleep while your babe eats.

Your husband/partner will do things differently than you. Let him/her.

You will be unbelievably thirsty while you nurse. You need to have a nursing station with a big bottle of water.

Your baby may want to nurse round the clock. Babies love nursing. It doesn’t mean your baby’s not getting enough milk (as long as they have enough wet diapers)

Babies are not telepathic. They don’t sense your anxiety. I am a nervous wreck and I have such a laidback baby. Babies who are fussy make their mothers nervous. Nervous mothers do not make their babies fussy!

The best thing you can do for your baby is to sit around and be lazy. Take care of baby, and yourself. That’s IT. If someone else in the house wants it clean, let them clean it!

You may not bond with your baby right away. Heck, you may not even feel like you care at all about your baby right away. But, by the time she’s 8 mos or so, you’ll think she hung the moon!

Here are a couple more:

Its great to have your kid in a sling/carrier, but its impossible to eat without getting your lunch all over baby's head. Ditto with doing anything that requires bending over.

A shower becomes a rare gift.

You learn to type with your left hand because baby likes to nurse on the right.

EVERYTHING takes longer to accomplish. Don't stress it, and don't you dare let anyone make you feel guilty.

[Kidzaplenty]

Great thread! Nothing to add at the moment, but I am sure it will come to me shortly.

[lifeguard]

How hard side-lying nursing can be to get the hang of.

How much a baby bf - all these people saying they bf every 3-4 hours are SO misleading.

The love you feel will be different & more intense than anything else you've ever experienced.

How unimportant things that used to seem so important become.

How much it messes with your head to not know when & how much sleep you'll get.

Just how long it takes your body to recover (& not just the tearing but the draining it had on all your systems).

That horrible empty feeling left in your abdomen in the first couple of weeks. I felt like someone took my insides out, shook 'em & shoved 'em back in a little haphazardly. I will definitely be looking into belly binding next time.

[Astraia]

That you can run on way less sleep then you ever thought possible


That sleeping two hours in a row can feel like HEAVEN and you wake up wondering why you feel so rested


That every parent seems to lie and brag about everything- from how much breastfeeding hurt to how much it didn't. Baffling.


That there is a void in your belly. Seriously. A void. You can stick your fist almost to your backbone because your uterus shrank but your insides haven't figured out where they're supposed to go yet!

[jecombs]

That my abdomen would still be very large after giving birth and would feel like a bowl full of pudding.

That I wouldn't be able to sleep or even feel tired for about 12 hrs after birth, due to all the birthing hormones. And when I was finally ready to sleep, the baby would be ready to be awake.

[felix23]

You can have all the gushy love hormones, even after a c-section.

Having a c-section doesn't alway mean breastfeeding problems.

I thought I would always have a horrible scar, but 8 months after my second c-section my scar is almost invisible.

Correctly pinning prefolds on a tiny baby is hard.

Not all babies like slings. Both my girls hate being worn. I spent a ton of money on slings and carriers and have never gotten to use them.

I missed feeling the little baby kicks.

[GoestoShow]

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Edited by GoestoShow - 12/7/10 at 6:52am

[felix23]

Originally Posted by GoestoShow

That breastfeeding might not work out.

That low supply is a real problem that happens.

That milk not coming in is a real problem that happens.

That c-sections are a form of private hells on earth.

That scars are still there after 8 months just as they were in the days after.

That PPD and PTSD are often confused in post-natal mothers and treatment for one when you have the other does not work.

That having a healthy baby is far, far from the only thing that matters.

That colic is unimaginably awful.

That connecting with other mothers is difficult.

That it doesn't start to get better until around 7 months. And then only very slowly.

I'm sorry your c-section experience was so horrible.

[jennydecki]

You may not bond with your baby right away. Heck, you may not even feel like you care at all about your baby right away. But, by the time she’s 8 mos or so, you’ll think she hung the moon!

This actually took me nine months with my first. I really really really wish I'd known it before that first baby came along and I felt like I could take her or leave her and feel like a huge freak for feeling that way...sheesh...

That your birth experience is yours to own no matter what happens. If anyone else tries to say anything about your birth by using theirs as an example you don't have to listen.

Birth is important and wonderful and valid and amazing, no matter how your baby got from your uterus to your arms.

[MegBoz]

Originally Posted by lillacfaerie

Breastfeeding hurts a lot at first, especially if you have light hair ( I know it sounds like an old wives tale, but all the blondes I know struggled).

Brunette here & I had an awful time.

Have a lactation consultant on call before you have the baby. You may need help at 2:00 am on Christmas.

MAKE SURE IT'S A GOOD LC!! They are not all created equal. My hospital-based LCs made life worse. I have no doubt I would have been better off never having gone to them & instead just relying on books & MDC.

Co-sleeping is a learned skill. You will be disturbed by your baby’s presence in your bed for a while, but then you will sleep soundly. STICK WITH IT!

Getting back to that "YOU know what’s best for YOUR baby" point... your baby may not like co-sleeping and that's OK! Listen to your baby & be flexible. (Even though it's practically a user-agreement violation for me to make that statment that some babies really may prefer sleeping in their own space.) :

You may not bond with your baby right away. Heck, you may not even feel like you care at all about your baby right away. But, by the time she’s 8 mos or so, you’ll think she hung the moon!

Yeah... just wait until baby makes eye contact and then smiles... and then when they laugh & crawl over to greet you... THEN climb up & give you a hug It just keeps getting better & better.

How out of touch you'll be with the urge to pee. Man that was weird, it was like my bladder had all this room to expand again when it was full & I therefore had no idea how full it was until I emptied it!!!

I also didn't know my abdomen would shrink a lot immediately after DS was out (I wasn't sure how much the uterus would hold it's shape once he was out.) I was so surprised to immediately be able to see my pubic region again. & of course I just had to comment, "WOW, I'm hairy!"

[CrunchyChristianMama]

That if you deliver a posterior baby you may actually think you delivered a semi truck.

Sitting may be painful for a couple of days.

Don't kick yourself about things that didn't go perfectly during the birth or if you didn't stand up for yourself as much as you thought you would.

[lillacfaerie]

Adding:
Fast labors are not always enviable. I had a very fast labor (less than five hours) and pushed my nine pound baby out in less than 20 mins. I know it's better than a long, slow labor, but it's so shocking when they come really quickly. I think it's kind of like sprinting a marathon, there's no time to catch your breath!

[Cativari]

Each birth experince is different and that's okay. But no matter what valid.

You're not a freak if you don't bond with your child right away. I have yet to experince an instant bond with any of my kids, for me it's gradual.

Other moms can be horribly judgmental,

Connecting with other moms can be difficult.

[lillacfaerie]

you are so right! It can be so hard to connect with other moms, because they can be so judgmental.

[lillacfaerie]

Originally Posted by MegBoz

How out of touch you'll be with the urge to pee. Man that was weird, it was like my bladder had all this room to expand again when it was full & I therefore had no idea how full it was until I emptied it!!!

I also didn't know my abdomen would shrink a lot immediately after DS was out (I wasn't sure how much the uterus would hold it's shape once he was out.) I was so surprised to immediately be able to see my pubic region again. & of course I just had to comment, "WOW, I'm hairy!"

That exact same thing happened to me. I looked down as the doc was stitching me up and was shocked by my floppy belly and out of control pubic hair!

[Tattooed Hand]

One woman recently told me to go live in Europe if I didn't like the hospital/OB system here, just because I was telling her that there are other ways to do things, like they do in Europe. Sheesh.