i really lost it

[sweetpea333]

ok this is hard for me, but my dd who just turned 5 has not been listening to me at all today, after i put her too bed she kept getting out and then laughing at me when i would put her back, she did this over and over and over again and i started screaming in her face and even called her a swear word because she was laughing at me, i started to get rough when i put her to bed too, im so shocked and upset with my behaviour, i really lost it today, I think her hitting at me also set me off too i just couldn't keep my cool..

[MCatLvrMom2A&X]

I think it happens to most of us at one time or another parenting is so hard and a lot of the time we may not get the breaks that we need.

[Pumpkin_Pie]

Oh mama, I so know that anger. My son is only 2, and I dread the anger I know I will occasionally feel toward him as he gets older.

I once saw an episode of the Nanny, and although I don't agree with most of the things that she does with the families, I did like this one. The family had a child that absolutely wouldn't stay in bed and made it a game to see just how many times he/she could get out and it was making the parents absolutely bonkers. She had them do the normal bedtime routine the first time, kiss the child goodnight, say sweet things "sweet dreams", or whatever and then leave the room. As soon as the child got up, the parents said, "you need to be in bed now" and led the child back to bed, but didn't say anything else and then left the room and closed the door. Every time after that, the parent didn't react at all, except to lead the child back to bed silently and leave and close the door. It took like 20 or 30 times the first night, but it didn't happen ever again after that. The child got really bored with it, and with absolutely no reaction from the adult, there was no "reward" so to speak. There was no anger directed at the child, but also absolutely no interaction other than leading them back to bed. Boring. Boring. Boring.

Not sure if this would help your little one, but I thought I would share. I am so sorry you are both having a rough night. It is a crummy place to be. I would also talk to your daughter about it in the morning and see if she has any suggestions too. I would also apologize to her then too once both of you are more rested.

[RandiFlowers]

Originally Posted by sweetpea333

... i started screaming in her face and even called her a swear word because she was laughing at me, i started to get rough when i put her to bed too, im so shocked and upset with my behaviour, i really lost it today ...

The power of these little tiny people is truly amazing. I've seen the gentlest of "Gentle Discipline" practitioners totally lose their cool, and it's never a pretty sight.

The one thing that really helped me to understand how badly I've acted with my own is the one time my daughter inadvertently recorded a tirade on the cell phone. I've kept that recording as a reminder of how ugly it can get.

My spouse has diffused similar situations by using a line from The Nighttime Museum, when Ben Stiller is losing his mind with a monkey... Robin Williams interrupts, asking, "Who's evolved?"

[Dandelionkid]

We've all been there in some capacity. It helps to think of deliberate strategies for next time your temper gets to the breaking point. I had to go into another room the other day and have a silent "f-off" temper tantrum, complete with flailing limbs and everything cause I felt like I just couldn't take it anymore. It relieved the pressure just enough that I could go wipe my ds's poopy bum for the 10th time in 5 mins and act super excited about the tiny poop in the toilet once again. That wasn't necessarily my strategy but it did help.

[buttercups.nest]

Originally Posted by Pumpkin_Pie

The family had a child that absolutely wouldn't stay in bed and made it a game to see just how many times he/she could get out and it was making the parents absolutely bonkers. She had them do the normal bedtime routine the first time, kiss the child goodnight, say sweet things "sweet dreams", or whatever and then leave the room. As soon as the child got up, the parents said, "you need to be in bed now" and led the child back to bed, but didn't say anything else and then left the room and closed the door. Every time after that, the parent didn't react at all, except to lead the child back to bed silently and leave and close the door. It took like 20 or 30 times the first night, but it didn't happen ever again after that. The child got really bored with it, and with absolutely no reaction from the adult, there was no "reward" so to speak. There was no anger directed at the child, but also absolutely no interaction other than leading them back to bed. Boring. Boring. Boring.

I myself couldn't get enough of Supernanny....my husband thinks we should try spanking, which I am very much against, I feel that this offers a better solution. I am new to attachment parenting and gentle discipline...not sure how those contradict with Supernanny but....

My little girl is only 2 so I haven't really had the opportunity to use much from Supernanny to begin with but the one thing I have done is what's in the part I quoted.

For the most part my daughter has been awesome with bedtime. She's been in her crib right from the beginning (my hubby didn't agree with cosleeping, she was formula fed and I didn't see the big deal) so when she was about 3-4months I had had it with 2am playtime and really just wanted to get some sleep! I didn't do it intentionally but I didn't react to her when I went into her bedroom....I left her light on, turned on her mobile, and played her music for her. She kicked and babbled, had her fun and went back to sleep.

Ever since then thats how we've acted when she's woken up during the middle of the night. She wanted to play when she was a little over a year and we slowly lessened the interaction she got from us when we went in each time after first putting her to bed. The first time was, "its time for bed, we love you, goodnight." Second time, "we love you, goodnight" and third time was just "we love you." After that we didn't give her eye contact, didn't smile, didn't talk etc. Gently picked her up, laid her back down, gave her her blankie and all her stuffies and left the room.

Good luck! Would love to hear what the outcome is!

ETA: I just wanted to say I feel your frustration!!! Its something all moms have done, and it doesn't make you any less of a mom. You are still a human and you will still make mistakes *HUGS* Get some rest, and maybe a girls night out.