Getting past fears of birth

[kwilki8]

Dh and I are ready to ttc #3, and I'm having a hard time getting excited or even anticipating the process, mainly because I'm scared of birthing again. I had a c-section with #2 and if I have another baby it will be a repeat c-section. There's really no way around it--I'm not a good candidate for vbac and there's not anyone around here who does them even if I were. When I had my c-section with ds, I was a wreck, mostly because I was just scared. And while it was not horrible, the surgery and recovery is not something I want to go through again. I get a lot of anxiety just thinking about the possibility of it, and I really cannot figure out how to reconcile myself with this reality. We really want another baby--but I just don't know how to will myself to go through with it. If anyone has any resources or suggestions for getting over this mental hurdle, I'd appreciate it.

[Sudonk]

I can completely understand what you mean, and you're definitely not the first or only person to feel that way. There is an excellent resource available at www.hypnobabies.com that sounds like exactly what you are looking for.

http://www.hypnobabies.com/store/sho...&cid=4&start=0

I've heard very powerful things from moms who used it, and think it could really make a huge difference for you, mentally and physically.

[kwilki8]

I'm actually not sure that would help me as it's geared toward a natural birth which I won't have. Thanks for the info, though.

[fwlady]

May I ask why you wouldn't be a candidate for vaginal birth? Did your doctor tell you this, or have you done research and found out there was NO way you could? VBACs are easier to recover from, and less painful than a csection. I hope I don't offend, but there really is very few REAL reasons that a repeat would need doing. CPD is a myth usually, or it doesn't happen with a subsequent baby. VBAC is safer than all the OBs like to admit, because they are inconvenient for them.

So, before I go on, are you sure you can't VBAC? There are MWs that will do them at home, and UC is also a safe option, although many people may think UCers are crazy. I thought it was at first too, but when so many hospitals have a no VBAC policy, there isn't always a choice. UC, in most cases IMHO, is safer than a RCS. It is also less painful in most cases. You can also walk into the hospital in labor and refuse to do a csection again without true need, if you really don't feel comfortable at home.Kymberli

[kwilki8]

Originally Posted by fwlady

May I ask why you wouldn't be a candidate for vaginal birth? Did your doctor tell you this, or have you done research and found out there was NO way you could? VBACs are easier to recover from, and less painful than a csection. I hope I don't offend, but there really is very few REAL reasons that a repeat would need doing. CPD is a myth usually, or it doesn't happen with a subsequent baby. VBAC is safer than all the OBs like to admit, because they are inconvenient for them.

So, before I go on, are you sure you can't VBAC? There are MWs that will do them at home, and UC is also a safe option, although many people may think UCers are crazy. I thought it was at first too, but when so many hospitals have a no VBAC policy, there isn't always a choice. UC, in most cases IMHO, is safer than a RCS. It is also less painful in most cases. You can also walk into the hospital in labor and refuse to do a csection again without true need, if you really don't feel comfortable at home.Kymberli

The short version is that I have high risk pregnancies with multiple complications. I have a blood clotting disorder, I get horrible PIH, my blood sugar gets very difficult to control . . . any of these individually would be manageable but put them all together and really unpredictable things happen to me, and I have needed to deliver early in both of my previous pregnancies (induction). Combine that with the fact that there are no doctors who do vbac, no midwife will take me on (and I don't really blame them), and UC would be an irresponsible choice for me, and I really don't see that there is an alternative.

Trust me, if I thought vbac was a real option, I'd be all over it. I just don't see that there is a way for it to happen.

[kawa kamuri]

Originally Posted by kwilki8

I'm actually not sure that would help me as it's geared toward a natural birth which I won't have. Thanks for the info, though.

actually!

http://www.hypnobabies.com/store/sho...&cid=4&start=0

hypnobabies was the first thing i thought about and i had just seen that they have a set for cesarean birth.

i had a very traumatic vaginal birth with my third child and was horrified to find myself pregnant with #4. hypnobabies helped me tremendously and i went on to have a beautiful and healing birth.

[kwilki8]

I did not see that! Thank you!