"UC" feeling in labor, MW-supported birth?

[MegBoz]

Not even TTC yet, but I know I want an HB for #2.

Labor with DS was so fast, (less than 5 hours from, "OH, I think that was finally my first ever ctrx!," to urge to push!) We hadn't even left for the hospital yet & my doula arrived at my house right after I got the urge to push. I spent most of transition alone because DH was running around packing the bag. We really had expected labor to take a lot of time.

Then I was actually able to fight the urge to push until we got to the hospital (20 min drive!!) & into a room. There were a bit too many people around, but I didn't mind the nurse holding the fetal monitor on my belly. I didn't mind my MW saying his heart rate was a bit low (80s) so I needed to get on my side instead of hands & knees. I didn't mind the tiny bit of coaching on pushing that I got from my doula. It was perfect! (Except I should have stayed home with the MW coming to me!) Support during pushing felt right to me.

So what I really want is to be left alone to labor then have help while pushing. Obviously, I do want a MW to come check the baby's HR periodically just so I'm reassured. & I know she'll have to be in my house while I labor because I can't wait until I feel the urge to push to call her!! I probably won't be able to resist the urge so long the 2nd time around and I DO want her to be there & check-in to make sure baby's OK. AND.. I may end up wanting or needing more support while laboring. I know each birth is different.

Do you think this is realistic goal? How attentive was your MW while you labored? Do they check your blood pressure? I know many mamas don't want any vaginal exams (I don't!) So is there anything else for them to do from a safety perspective other than check baby's HR? (i.e. if I don't want coaching on positions or comfort measures counter-pressure on my back, etc.) I really liked being all alone while I labored.

[cileag]

Haven't birthed yet, but my midwives have told me that they'd like to take an initial blood pressure, and listen to the baby for about 5-10 minutes to get a feel for how the baby's coping with labor. After that it's just intermittent fht checks. I think it might depend on individual midwives, and when you call them. If you have another fast labor, they might just be showing up for the birth anyway.

But really, from what I've heard from different women and midwives--it's pretty variable and I bet you could find a midwife that was pretty hands off in labor.

[Amatullah0]

Originally Posted by MegBoz

Not even TTC yet, but I know I want an HB for #2.

hehe, same here!

Originally Posted by MegBoz

So what I really want is to be left alone to labor then have help while pushing. Obviously, I do want a MW to come check the baby's HR periodically just so I'm reassured.

with my last birth, it was in a hospital with a mw group. i only saw the mw when i wanted to during labor. she understood i wanted to be alone, so she left me alone.
she came to check hr and bp(or the nurse did). oh, and to give abx for gbs. stupid abx.

Originally Posted by MegBoz

Do you think this is realistic goal?

most definitely! look around for a mw who would be comfortable doing this. i know some are ok with being on the other side of the room, and some are fine with being next door or on another floor of the house.

Originally Posted by MegBoz

Do they check your blood pressure?

mine did

Originally Posted by MegBoz

I know many mamas don't want any vaginal exams (I don't!) So is there anything else for them to do from a safety perspective other than check baby's HR? (i.e. if I don't want coaching on positions or comfort measures counter-pressure on my back, etc.) I really liked being all alone while I labored.

i can't think of anything, but my mw insisted on VE, so i let her : i regret that, oh well... hopefully i'll be stronger next time!

[melamama]

I think this is completely realistic.
When you are interviewing mws ask them about this. I think most (hb) mws understand that women are different and need different things in labor. It may also depend on your mw's comfort level with assessing you during labor though, as she may have concerns about your bp or the baby's hb. I think mw are more constrained in a hospital setting and there are more checks to be performed. But you're not going to have a bunch of people around or a fetal monitor on your belly beeping away at home.

My 4 dc have all been born at home, and I prefer to labor alone without any interventions/distractions. With my last birth when the mw arrived I was alone in our bedroom with the curtains drawn, it was very quiet and she totally respected the quiet. She asked if she could check the babe's hb and was completely unobtrusive.

I think just the general vibe of being in your own house and being in control of who is in the room with you makes a giant difference.
The mw's I've known have always been content to sit quietly in the corner and just watch and wait during labor.

[Raene]

My midwife has agreed to sit in our living room and only come and "bother" me every 30 minutes for heart tones. Other than that, DH and I are doing everything. If something happens we'll just call out to the midwife and she'll come in with her assistant. The midwife said if something wasn't right but wasn't a life/death matter, she would guide DH through the steps so we could still do it all ourselves.

We're also extending this to after birth...we're doing the weight, measurement, etc, and keeping non-family from touching the baby.

I'm excited to have it be this way. It's empowering, but feels really safe too, since I've had pregnancy complications and haven't felt great anymore about UCing.

[MegBoz]

Originally Posted by melamama

It may also depend on your mw's comfort level with assessing you during labor though, as she may have concerns about your bp or the baby's hb.

Ok, this is funny, but I said in my Bradley training that I didn't imagine measuring my BP would be crucial because I can FEEL if my BP gets elevated. My Bradley instructor actually laughed at me and said, "You'll be so out of it, you won't know."

Um, nope. Funny that my Bradley teacher wouldn't have been more supportive of a Mama claiming she knows her own body. I was beyond "lucid." I was just mentally crystal clear. I was in tune with my own body & knew I was just fine. (Ok, in transition I was 'dreading' the next ctrx - they hurt & I wasn't enjoying it, but I was fine. The worst I ever thought was "I can see why people want drugs for this!" But never was I panicked or even miserable or unable to speak between ctrx or anything.)

I'm not worried about me in labor. I just feel like if it's anything like the first, I will KNOW if somethign is wrong like if my BP is too elevated or I'm not dilating or something. IF I'm feeling so lucid & clear again, I don't need monitoring of me for my health - just fetal HR checks to make sure baby is OK. Obviously if it doesn't feel the same as last time, I'll be more open to her help & I realize that's a possibility.

[MegBoz]

Looking at my last post, I am totally a "free birther" at heart. I think the image of birthing all by myself is awesome - except I know things can go wrong and I have a lot of respect for midwives & their skill in looking for warning signs & acting as necessary if something is wrong. I DO want a MW with me "just in case."

I have no intentions of doing an "on-purpose accidental UC." and, as already posted, I'm perfectly comfortable with having assistance during pushing. (Actually, I wish my CNM would have told me to stop pushing as DS crowned. I didn't realize he was crowning & just kept pushing with the ctrx & I did have a 1st degree tear.) I'd be open to a MW providing counter-pressure at that point too.

[crunchy_mama]

I think that it is realistic depending on the birth attendant you choose. My first hb-2nd birth was fairly hands off in the realm of things but too much even for me. I did have 1 VE - about 30 min before birth- and I guess the baby was listened to a few times with the fetoscope. I don't remember a lot of intervention in labor itself- some support ie helping to rub my back and perhaps one or 2 suggestions on position. I pushed how I wanted and such. I had more intervention after the birth than I wanted- cord cut too early- pushed to get the placenta out etc.

This time I have choose a mw that is much more relaxed- both her and I hope that there won't be VEs and that there will be little need for intervention. However, I also choose a mw that I trust to tell me when/if there is some intervention needed. I trust that she will be able to provide that care and I know she wouldn't suggest something unless really needed.

[Spark]

When interviewing a MW you just ask for what you want & see if they're comfortable with that. You could say that your ideal is to a have a MW be in the other level of your house or at a coffee shop around the corner to be called when you want her.

[xixstar]

totally realist possibility. I selected my midwife because that is the exact birth I wanted and I made that clear that was what I was looking for. And I got the birth I wanted. At some point she came, set up all her stuff, did one quick listen with the fetoscope and dh got his first listen, then went to sleep in dd's room. I had my doula wake her once for a check - I hadn't planned on any checks but couldn't tell myself and decided to ask - and then I didn't see her again until my doula woke her while I was pushing.

it was exactly what I wanted.

[loraxc]

My second labor (1st HB) was sort of like this. I was checked for dilation only once and the MWs were only in the room with me for probably 30 minutes. They asked if I needed anything, and I said no. I guess there must have been occasional FHT checks, but I barely remember. They were in another room down the hall 90% of the time.

I know my MWs really believe in this type of birth, but you should definitely ask if they will be okay with this.

[nkintzel]

Our home birth was less than three hours, from my water breaking spontaneously and the start of contractions, to me holding my son.

The entire time, my MW just kind of hung out and just listened to my belly intermittantly. I don't really remember seeing her until I was in transition and starting to get really confused, and then she stepped in to kind of re-direct me.

So, yeah. Its really realistic. I think this time, I would actually like a little more support from my MW. I have a different one this time, and I think it will be a little more that way. Plus, she has a birth assistant, so I'll have a doula. Honestly, I don't want to be "doula'd" but I think it will be nice for my husband to have someone to help him. OUr last birth was SO short and frantic that this almost feels like our first in some ways, so I'm nervous about his ability to support me! haha!

Anyway, just talk to your midwife. Most of the ones I've met have been extremely flexible about how they "attend" and will totally cater to your needs.

[pamamidwife]

I provide this sort of care to women who want it and know other midwives that do too. Be specific when you interview and if there is any judgment or hesitation on part of the midwife know that you're likely going to meet with some resistance during labor.

[donutmolly]

This is how all 3 of my hb's have been... with different mw's, so I think it's definately a great possibility. I really enjoy knowing that the mw's are there, available, quickly checking on the baby, but otherwise leaving me alone to labor. All have been very in tune with when I needed them and when to step out!

[Veritaserum]

With my first home birth I wanted to be left alone and my mw did leave me alone. I spent most of that labor in another room by myself, wandering in to where she had things set up periodically so she could listen to the baby.

[StephM76]

I told my DH before she arrived that I didn't want her to talk to me or touch me unless I said so. She sat next to the birthing pool the whole time and didn't speak at all. The only time I remember her talking to me was when I told her pushing in the pool wasn't working and I needed to get out.

Even after the birth she was hands off. She just checked me, and left so I could lay in bed with DH and DS.

[mwherbs]

except for coached pushing which we usually don't do what you want for a birth, checking heart tones this sounds like a "typical" home birth for us. we do coaching for very few women- I would say first time moms and if the labor gets rather long- or if there is a long time between mom eating or drinking we make suggestions like what would you like to drink or its been along time since you emptied your bladder - how about taking a walk or sitting on the toilet or... but basically we sit quietly in another room or get some sleep

[dogmom327]

Sounds like both my home births. I labored alone (with just DH), called my MW when transition started (I mentally have a very hard time with transition and can use a little extra emotional support). With DS the MW was 40 minutes away and I started pushing about 20 minutes after she got there (DS was born 1.5 hours later). With DD (just 8 weeks ago!) the MW as 20 minutes away and I started pushing an hour after she got there (DD was born 45 minutes later).

I think most HB MW would be okay with this. But I do think it's helpful to communicate what you are hoping for. For DD's birth, I had told the MW I was thinking I wanted a birth like my first one and was truly hoping for an almost UC but that I might change my mind in the moment and need more support. My second labor was much more intense and painful than my first so I needed that emotional support for the hour before I started pushing. I think you just get your MW on board with the best case scenario that you want and then go with whatever you want at the time.

[mommyfied]

good answers already

You might also plan for the possibility that your labor will be a lot faster this time and you may not have someone there until the end or maybe even after baby is born. How will you deal with it if you don't have that support? In my hosp birth I had people screwing up the pushing phase so I was wanting to just be left alone period. I wanted someone to support me but I'd lost trust that anyone could do it right. I spoke to my midwife about my fears/concerns and she reassured me. It turned out that my midwife missed it and I had the baby unassisted with DH - and that actually worked out beautifully. We did not plan it that way but probably should have entertained the idea a bit more so DH wouldn't have been so unprepared. I loved it, myself. :

My first started with my water breaking and from the first contraction to complete was 6 hours or so. Pushing lasted an hour. This time the whole thing was 2.5 hours from start to finish. She literally flew out once I was fully dilated. Also, transition was only about 15 min long so she really did surprise us.

[almadianna]

You have to make sure that a) you get a midwife like that and b) you tell her that is what you want.

It is totally realistic, that is what I wanted and had with my homebirths. I did not want my BP to be taken so it wasnt. I did not want monitoring so there wasnt. I didnt want checks, there were none. I was left alone with my husband and child and she sat in the corner waiting for me to need her. I did time contractions myself for a while off and on (I was in labor for a very long time so I wanted to see where I was at a few times) and gave myself a cervical check once but other than that, nothing that I did not ask for.