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for immigrant mommies - AP parenting

post #1 of 8
Thread Starter 
do you think you get less flack because people assume you are doing the cultural thing if you are from an AP culture like asia or other countries?

i just realised no one has ever given me a hard time with cosleeping or nursing my almost 7 year old. i dont hide it. when it comes up in conversation or the time is appropriate i tell them. many do look shocked but no one has ever told me anything to my face.

do you think you might feel that way too?

i know at some work i can keep my piercings which are looked on as culturally appropriate, yet my caucasian counterpart had to take them off.
post #2 of 8
living in japan, people assume that whatever i do as a parent, is typical of parents in australia....that that is 'normal' there. when actually i don't think it is. so yeah i guess i get an easy go of it!
people here are very unconfrontational anyway though, so it is hard to know.

having tattoos is linked to the mafia here, but because i am white, i am excluded from that. lucky me! (sarcasm, kind of)
post #3 of 8
I live in mexico...and just about everyone co-sleeps here...and extended breasfeeding is not looked down upon....they are interested that my 4yo is still nursing....but i enjoy the curiosity. It's a learning event for everyone.
post #4 of 8
I am European with an Asian husband living in the US, and yes, I do find, that people (also our families) are more accepting of our "weird" lifestyle choices because we are a culturally mixed couple. For instance, we do sleep on the floor. I have always spent lots of time on the floor, so it came naturally to me, but my mom was rather taken aback, that I did not have "a real bed", but decided that this is one of those "Asian things"...

On the other hand, my dh does not really like it, when I just let these things slide by in order to avoid conflict. He thinks, that this will give my parents a wrong impression about his culture and our lives.
post #5 of 8
I think it depends on the tolerance of the area one is living in.

In my husband's country my AP differnces were not accepted, in fact many seemed to take offense that I was doing things different than they had. I had comments on everything from not giving bottles, not having a stroller, and even being a SAHM. Not nice comments...
post #6 of 8
Yes, people don't think we're freaks for ECing because it's what they do in DH's country. But in DH's country, they don't babywear, and they all thought that it would be bad for the baby's back!

Nearly every parent I know well breastfed beyond infancy so that's not been questioned anywhere.
post #7 of 8
DH is of Mexican descent. My mother was Irish, Father was Mexican, but I grew up with my mother, so I grew up plain ol' white He is the first generation of his family born here in the United states, his mother came here when she was two and his dad came when he was 14.

His whole family isn't too accpeting of our "weird ways", they associate cloth diapering, extended breastfeeding, cosleeping, babywearing, etc. to be a "white yuppie" thing, in their words, since most of the AP mommas here in Chicago are the trendy-type. Our neighbors, also of mexican descent, also think we're nuts. MIL things my babywearing is awesome though, but she's convinced that the Mexican's started it so she gets to take all of the credit. Whatever. But it's weird, because they actually disassociate me with "tradition".

Our family is famous for keeping their kids in strollers at birthday parties knocked out sleeping at all times of the night. No co-sleeping, if you sleep with your kid, they must be spoiled. Formula is "more convenient" (huh??) than breastfeeding, and cloth diapers cause diaper rashes. That's basically what I deal with day-to-day
post #8 of 8
I'm not an immigrant, but my parents were. Everything is relative, depending on your frame of reference.

I went back to Hong Kong last year for a cousin's wedding, and my relatives thought I was nuts to be cloth diapering, like we were poor or backwards . They also weren't crazy about me doing child-led introduction to solids, as Chinese parents are anal about immaculate clean surfaces, and children who are seen but not heard AND definitely don't leave messes when they eat (equals spoon-feeding a child for longer than necessary, IMO)

Even with BFing, I was once asked to go nurse in a storage closet--while I was NIP in McDonalds, to which I politely declined. My grandmother thought that a baby who was eating a reasonable amount of solids didn't need to be BFed anymore, even though DS1 was only 8 months old at the time!!!

The only thing I did not receive any flack for was ECing. Oh well...
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