The part I described was not in the book; it was in a video that was shown in the L&L class, of which I could not stomach more than one session.
I agree with the other poster that there are some good ideas in the book (I've skimmed the one with the orange cover -- I think that's it's earlier editions that mention hitting and dog training) AND that it's all about the delivery.
Such as your example with toys -- I no longer have a 3-year-old but that is something that I would be fine with for my 9- or 11-year-old, provided the consequence was a known factor (not the case with L&L -- they are all about springing surprise punishments). Really, I think that if picking up is an ongoing problem, then there are too many things present and it's up to the parent to come up with a system where the child can
succeed. When things bring endless frustration, they aren't serving their purpose in our lives.
The people speaking on the video (Fay and Cline, I believe) and the instructors for the one class that I took did not have a loving attitude toward children.
Originally Posted by swd12422
Oooookay.... Either I don't have the same book, or I'm going to have to re-read it more thoroughly. I do NOT remember any dragging, hitting, or dog-training in the book I read. The consequence for not helping clean up his toys was to have the toys taken away. (Whatever you pick up, you get to keep.) I don't have a problem with that. A mess they made gets cleaned up, or they have to "pay" you to clean it up, with payment being either in the form of money if they get an allowance or a toy or other possession. (I don't think I'd keep a 3-year-old's toy for very long as "payment" but as I said, I'm not there yet, so maybe I wouldn't take the toy at all...)
At any rate, no, I'd have to say I wouldn't like L&L either, if it did in fact advocate hitting and dragging.....