Having "Quiet Time", what do you think and how do you do it?

[festivefeet]

Hi there, In recent weeks my almost 4 year old has stopped taking naps. We chose this for her, because it was taking her FOREVER to take a nap and then because of the nap, she didn't want to go to sleep at night because she was not tired. She has been very very cranky because of it. A friend and our doctor suggested quiet time during the day in the place of a nap. I was told that quiet time is a time when your child spends time quietly alone in her room each day for about an hour to have a relaxing time by themselves, most say that their child falls asleep 70% of the time on their own. I was nursing my dd to sleep at nap time until we took the nap away. That was the only time she nursed. So now she has been weaned (rather peacefully) for about a week and a half.

HOWEVER, she has no interest in quiet time in her room. She will explain that she wants to watch a movie on the couch or that she will be lonely and wants to be with me. Now, most of my friends who do quiet time, make their child be in their room and if they do not stay there, then there are consequences. However, my heart does not feel right MAKING her stay "or else", ya know what I mean.

What are your opinions on this? She definitely needs a quiet time, however, she rarely falls asleep during a movie.

J.

[octobermom]

My DD had two choices.. eaither she could play "alone" in her room or she could laydown on our bed (DH and I) and I'd turn on a movie or cartoons on for her. Well always started out quiet time similiar to a bedtime rountinue with some books and snuggles nursing when she was still doing that.. We "enforced" and hour but ussally ended up being around two.

Deanna

[octobermom]

BTW once we officially moved away from nap time i never expected my DD to fall asleep. She got her down time and yes every sooften even fell asleep but it was the down time that was important.

Deanna

[CrunchyMamaToBe]

For quiet time at our house, our son can choose to play alone in his room or to lay down or read a book or play with a small toy or puzzle quietly in our bed with me or my DP. He chooses to be in our bed 99% of the time and falls asleep 50% of the time. We (the adults) read or sleep, too. We don't enforce sleeping, and always leave the option of reading/playing open. I agree that it's the down time that's important.

[jewelsJZ]

We do quiet time in our house for my 3 y.o. and 5 y.o. They go to their rooms and play with toys or read books. Sometimes they don't want to go, but they need the down time and so does mommy. The resistance, tho, was mainly in the beginning. Now most days when I say, it's quiet time, they go upstairs on their own. They can take any toys or books they want from downstairs and a sippy cup of milk or juice or water. My older one likes to listen to books on cd's on the cd player in his room, we get these from the library.
Do you want your daughter to sleep or not sleep during this time? If you don't want her to sleep, I'd say why not let her watch the movie or play or whatever keeps her busy but awake. If you want her to sleep, then I would make it more like it was at nap time, dim lighting, in her bed, etc.
If you want to be with her during this time, then why not do so?
If you really want her to have the quiet time, then I would stick to it, even though she doesn't want to do it. My 3 y.o. kept leaving her room until I gave her the choice of having her door open or closed. She likes it open, so she stayed in there. Now we have gated her room because she was leaving after bedtime and being very unsafe, climbing and such, but I leave the gate unlocked at quiet time.
The cranky time will pass. Went through that with both of mine where they would completely fall apart around 5:00 every day until bedtime. Can you put her to bed earlier and still have her wake up around her normal time in the morning? Mine would go to bed around 6:30 after they transitioned out of a nap and still wake up at their usual 7:30 a.m.

[JL83]

My 2.5yo has quiet time. I put on a CD, and she plays/reads in her room until the CD is done. We both need a bit of space and time away from each other.

I have no issues making her stay. I believe that Attachment Parenting is about a child's needs not their wants. So I don't really care if she wants to have quiet time. She needs it and it's my job as her mom to make sure she gets it. I've tried a few times not doing it, and it's a disaster. So I'm pretty confident that for now, she needs a period of downtime to recharge.