"You should go to another room to BF" - Page 2

[monkey-lamb]

(Hugs) mama! I am sorry you are being treated badly! At this point I would assume that she is never going to get it. The way your friend is talking to you would make me not want to be her friend anymore. Parenting views can really divide people.

[teale]

You are absolutely not in the wrong, Mama.

I posted a thread awhile ago about a friend who was really pushy and negative about my breastfeeding relationship, and how I was afraid it would end our friendship. She knows how active I am with LLL, and how strongly I feel about breastfeeding that it just felt so hurtful of her to be so rude to me about breastfeeding in general.

Maybe this is one of those friendships that you need to keep at a distance for now.

As for your mom, a simple, back off will have to suffice. I know with my mom (and dad for that matter), I had to finally freak out at them. I ranted, and told them they had better get used to me breastfeeding because it was going to happen with not only DS, but all the rest of their grandchildren. And of course, I finished with a hearty "You know, you should be pleased that I am doing everything to give your grandchild the best start in the world."

I know that are not impressed with our continued breastfeeding relationship, but they say nothing, which is fine with me. Speak up Mama!

[Purple*Lotus]

I would not want to eat in a bathroom stall or a 100 degree car I am sorry you are going through this! You have a right to feed your child anywhere you please! You had no other reasonable alternatives, so I do not understand why anyone would give you a hard time about it.

[vermontmomma]

Originally Posted by Pirogi

I have a bumper sticker on my truck that reads "YOU may go sit in the toilet until I am finished nursing."

awesome bumper sticker!
my family is the same way, one of the first times they came to visit it felt so hurtful how they acted like i should have gotten up to nurse dd in the other room every time she was hungry even though i was still a mess after the c section. i was already so hormonal and ppd'ed that i felt very sad.
now mom will act ok with it but encourages covering, even if it's just us at *my* house! heaven forbid she accidentally see her own daughter's breast:::
there's probibly not much i can do to change her mind at this point so i just grit my teeth till they leave. sigh.
sometimes i admit i do attempt to cover with the tail of the ring sling if we are at church but dd hates it and i really do believe that bf should happen anywhere baby wants it, no cover needed.:
stay strong mama, there is nothing wrong with nip!

[Super~Single~Mama]

That stinks. Tell her it is your legal right to BF where and when you want and its against the law to discriminate (if it is in your state).

Then just tell her that if she's uncomfortable when you NIP she doesn't have to look, or can do something else until your baby is done eating.

[Marnica]

Yes to allllll the above posts. Id be finding a new friend! Freinds don't treat one another like that. She is free to disagree with you, but to repeatedly berate you about it is not cool.

[spughy]

I don't think you should force yourself to hang out with someone who makes you uncomfortable. At the same time, I would probably devote more time to finding out exactly why she is uncomfortable with NIP - if it's a conversation about her, and reasonably respectful, it might get her thinking about her assumptions about women's bodies and where those assumptions come from. If you approach it from an angle of "We have really different views on this, and I'd like to understand your perspective more" she might be receptive to at least a conversation about it from her side.

What it will come down to, I would expect, is that she feels that a woman's breasts are essentially a private part, to be seen only by her husband and herself - and that modesty is more important to her than her ability to feed her child wherever and whenever. Her objections to YOU NIP'ing are likely to be along those lines too - that you are visibly demonstrating a different morality than she holds, and she's uncomfortable being friends with someone like that. But it's likely she's never *really* thought about it - everyone else says it's nasty, so she just agrees. It's unlikely that she will change her mind about anything, but she may end up realizing that what's right for her isn't necessarily what's right for everyone and might, just MIGHT, start thinking about where her values come from.

In the meantime, I know it's hard, but try to internalize the fact that you're in the right, here, legally (I think? Dunno about US laws.) If someone hassles you about bf'ing, as long as you're not in someone else's private residence, you can calmly tell them that you're not moving, and covering your baby will result in a screaming fit decidedly less pleasant than a quiet, happy, nursing baby. And that they are under no obligation to look at you. If you're in your mom's or your friend's house, unfortunately they do have every right to ask that you nurse elsewhere, but in a public place - including stores, restaurants, parks, churches, etc. - you can nurse where you like. Print out a copy of your state's bfing laws and keep it with you.

[Ann-Marita]

It seems to me the only one being "too sensitive" is the person offended by NIP. SHE can go sit in a toilet or in a hot car until you are finished.

[beckyand3littlemonsters]

no your not wrong your "friend" is, would she cover her head to eat, why should our babies cover up and get all hot when anyone who doesn't like to see a women nip can just look away it's simple as that after babies needs should always come first.

[velcromom]

She's a good reminder of why we are lactivists.

I wish I could send her to www.007b.com. It's the antidote to her kind of thinking.

[spughy]

Originally Posted by velcromom

She's a good reminder of why we are lactivists.

I wish I could send her to www.007b.com. It's the antidote to her kind of thinking.

Except there is a strong argument to be made that breasts DO have a sexual purpose, and evolved as they are today (ie, appearing at puberty rather than first pregnancy, and persistent through adulthood) as a sexual attractant.

However, as many, many cultures have taboos against sex during lactation, it's not like it's inconceivable that humans can grasp the idea that SOMETIMES boobs are for nursing and SOMETIMES they're for sex. In fact, the only people that seem to have a real issue with this are on this continent, from certain sectors. Problem is, they're loud, pervasive and convinced they're right.