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If you regret circumcising your son(s), please post here. - Page 9

post #161 of 719
Circumcision IS ENDING in America, one TRUELY informed parent at a time.

Anyone here is welcome to join the yahoo group http://groups.yahoo.com/group/regretfulmoms if you circed and regret it. I, after all, started the group for us, who feel such deep pain and remorse.
Misty
(who lives in a state where medicaid no longer covers circs thanks to the hard work of intactivists, and our circ rate is down to almost 35% (ironically VERY close to our c/s rate...but that is for another thread)
post #162 of 719
My oldest son was and my youngest not, i didn't want him to be circ. but my hubby convinced me that he should, it was a sickening feeling to hear my son screaming in another room, i so wanted to go in there and rescue him, my dh ended up sending me to another part of the building, my second son is intact because we had waited to long and he would have had to be put out for the procedure, and there would be a risk with him being young and put under anesthesia. I was sooo happy that he would not be done!!
post #163 of 719
I say with an EXTREMELY sad & heavy heart that all 3 of my boys are circed. I have SO MUCH guilt over this, I wasn't as educated as I should've been. I thought it was something that was routinely done, and never gave it much thought. But knowing what I know now, any future sons we may have will DEFINITELY NOT be circed.
post #164 of 719
Teddybearmom,

Hugs to you.....


Jessica
post #165 of 719
I regret very much having my one and only son circumsised. I know that it is past February now, but maybe I can still make a difference. I don't know what I was thinking. Actually I wasn't thinking. I was completely uneducated about it, so much so that I didn't even question it. He came back to me crying and sore. His penis was BLEEDING! I immediately felt regret. Then, about 6 months later, he started developing this little spot where it was stuck together (I forgot what it's called) and had stuff collecting in a little hole, so the Ped. had to pull it back a little and told me I had to pull it back every day. He hated this. I only wish that I could put it back on! It breaks my heart that I put him through so much pain when he was so new to the world.
post #166 of 719
My wife and I will live with the mistake of circing. our son for the rest of our lives. You see I am intact even though my dad was circ. He was intact until he went into the Army during WW11 where the Army insisted that all intact males be circed before going overseas, most had it done. My dad told me it was the worst thing that ever happened to him. I was born 3 years after the war ended and my dad came home, my brother one year later. He would not even discuss allowing us to be circed because he knew what the outcome would be. When my son was born two of our BIL and SIL had just had sons and both had been circed. My wife and I talked and talked about it and the day after he was born we decided to circ so he would look like the other two boys. My dad told me his story after we had our son circed and it almost killed me, I will have to live with that decision until I die. But the story just gets worse, 3 years ago my son gave me a grandson and , yes, they circed him to even after I talked to him they circed him to match his dad, more to have to live with. After finding out the truth about circ. from great people like the ones on this board and my dad before he died I am convinced of the terrible mistake that we made and I am going to work as hard as I can to try and save at least one little boy in my lifetime, that is why I joined this group.
post #167 of 719
I can't figure out why I let it happen. DH was a factor, but I should have over-ruled him. I get sick when I think of all the pain I caused my child and the damage I allowed to have done to him. I will not circ another child regardless of DH's opinion, but it doesn't undo the damage already done. I read somewhere about techniques for "uncircing" and am beginning to look at that. I don't really know if it is an option but if so, then maybe it will help repair some of the damage.
post #168 of 719
Just wanted to drop my thought~ My son was born 12/02 He was not circumsized. At the time of the delivery my father came to me and asked me why I was not going to circumsize him. I said to my father , because I don't really know what that is. Being a mother at 20 was hard on itself. More less now my father comes to me and is still asking why I did not circumsize my son. First off because then, I didn't really know what it was. Second because God brought me a beautiful son into the world, and I wanted to keep him the way he came! SO I also Say No to Circ. My son has never had any infections, and currently no other problems.. HEALTHY..



to jacob (12/02) : (3/06) and TTC #2 :
post #169 of 719
I have come to this thread many times to find comfort in the words of other mamas who have regrets about their circ decision. I feel otherwise alone in my grief that runs so deep that I have a hard time putting it into words. It is somethjing that I think about daily. I just wanted to say thanks to the posters that have been so courageous in sharing their stories...It has been very healing for me...

Jessica
post #170 of 719
I am also another mother that deeply regrets circ. her son. I am hating myself over it everyday because I had my mothers instinct tell me not to do it, practically all the time, and I did it because I had no facts and the father was dead set on it (an intact man). I read up on it this past week cus bf (not intact) wants our newborn to get cut. He said to look it up and I did. After my research, I started crying by myself in my room over what I let happen to my 2 year old when my mother's instinct was telling me not to. I am now hating myself over it cus there's nothing I can do.
post #171 of 719
I didn't read all the posts in this, but I'm sure I will go back and do so soon. It sucks doesn't it? I don't really ever wish that I could go back and do something over, feeling like usually what happened, happened for the best. But man, do I wish I could go back for this one. It never even occurred to me to look it up, I mean, I have family in the medical business, and all I ever heard was how great circ is and how dirty it is when you don't have it done.
I would like to say that, mama's who know, please get the word out there. If I had ever even heard once that it wasn't a good idea, maybe I would have gone with my instincts and said in the office, you know what? nevermind, I changed my mind. But I didn't even know to question.
You can feel sorry for my two circ'd boys if you want. I do too. It's so depressing, thinking about my sweet little intact boy, and then what I did to ruin it for no reason at all...
post #172 of 719
I think mamas who regret circ'ing make the very best intactivists of all. Your experience could make a really powerful impact on future parents. You have a perspective they can't help but listen to! I'm so sorry for your heartache.
post #173 of 719
Cole is circed. At the time the only info I had seen on it talked about how it's better for hygiene and all, but not bad if it's not done... so I decided I didn't care one way or another, and left it up to DH. He said, like father like son, so it was done.

Cole was 2 days old when they did it. They came to the hospital room, took him from me. A little while later I could hear a baby crying and I knew it was Coley... I wasn't even with him. They told me they gave him shots to numb it, and I know he won't remember a thing, but I cannot forgive myself for what I did to my poor helpless little boy. I am crying right now, just thinking about it. I would give ANYTHING to be able to go back in time and not let them do that to him.

Slightly off-topic, but does anyone know whether restoration can be done now? All the sites talk about grown men doing it themselves, but I would like to fix Cole now if I can...
post #174 of 719
No, he has to restore himself as an adult. Sorry.
post #175 of 719
As a mother of two boys who are altered I do feel guilty. My oldest who is now 7 and I had a conversation the other day about his circ. I told him what they did and he held his penis tightly and said "Mom why would you let them do that!! They cut it!" and lowered my head in shame and he started to kinda laught because well he is 7 and we were talking about his penis. I knew better with my second. Read the info, saw the video, new it was wrong and not better or healthier. I did it anyhow. I k new better and didnt do better that is more shame then not knowing. Everytime I change him I think about it. My husband fought with me tooth and nail my whole pregnancy. We also fought over BFing him and I won that battle but I lost the circ one. Looking back now I should have just let him be and my husband to this day wouldnt have noticed because he rarely changes him. I should have told him go to hell and not let it happen. There would have been nothing he could have done about it. Its the mothers choice. So tell your friend that listening to others isnt helpful. Read, learn and go with your heart.
post #176 of 719
Quote:
Originally Posted by ColeysMama
Slightly off-topic, but does anyone know whether restoration can be done now? All the sites talk about grown men doing it themselves, but I would like to fix Cole now if I can...
I believe that there is a foreskin restoration operation but opinion over it seems divided amongst the tuggers over whether it works or not and although it certainly has more merit as an operation than a circumcision is could still be classed as cosmetic surgery, ironically enough you might be able to remove his foreskin but not get it back...
post #177 of 719
No one does the surgery anymore. They have to use the skin from the testicles and it isn't as good as just stretching it yourself.
post #178 of 719
I heard that it was from the thigh...

Oh well, I am really not that well informed on this one (I've never needed to be) so I bow to your superior knowledge.
post #179 of 719
Quote:
Originally Posted by soybeansmama
I have come to this thread many times to find comfort in the words of other mamas who have regrets about their circ decision. I feel otherwise alone in my grief that runs so deep that I have a hard time putting it into words. It is something that I think about daily. I just wanted to say thanks to the posters that have been so courageous in sharing their stories...It has been very healing for me...
This really sums up how I feel. I still cringe when I change his diaper. I have a very hard time not blaming DH every day for insisting it be done. And I feel like a failure to have not worked hard enough to protect my son.
post #180 of 719
Quote:
Originally Posted by somemama
The thought of circ crossed my mind when I was pregnant.....and I regret even that. I cannot imagine the anguish I would feel, knowing what I know now, if I had actually had my son circ'd.

Here's an appeal to new fathers:
http://noharmm.org/appeal.htm

and another argument against the "father/son" continuation of circ:
http://www.mothersagainstcirc.org/Like-Son.htm
Ok, so it did my mind too. I thought it was a male decision and not one to be made by me, a woman. So I went ahead and talked it over with my now XH. Since he's intact it wasn't really considered. So, that's my story. I also regret thinking about it. I would probably be crying every day, even 19 months later.
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