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If you regret circumcising your son(s), please post here. - Page 26

post #501 of 719
I regret having my sons circ'd. With DS #1, I honestly didnt even consider not circ-ing. I didnt know anybody who didnt circ and assumed everyone did it. With DS #2, 7 yrs later, I felt strongly against but DH wanted it and I gave in. This I regret so much. I knew it was wrong and aloowed it to happen. I am now pregnant w/ DS #3. DH has now changed his mind and is ok w/ non-circ. This is wonderful for DS but I am so sad for the other 2. I would reccommend your friend and her husband wait on circ until he is 1. This gives them more time to decide what is right and her DH may change his mind. You cant go back after the cut is made. Its also alot harder to put your child that you have grown to love through such an unneccessary precedure than a newborn (especially for men who tend to bond after baby is born).
post #502 of 719
bumpity bump
post #503 of 719

Petition Against Circumcision

http://org2.democracyinaction.org/o/...tition_KEY=473


"No medical society in the world recommends male circumcision – yet newborn male circumcision is the most common surgical procedure in the U.S. This painful and risky procedure deprives over a million boys each year of healthy, functional tissue, while increasing medical costs by an average of $678 per baby.

The Centers for Disease Control (CDC) is developing public health recommendations for the U.S. on male circumcision that could ignore the serious risks of this non-therapeutic surgery, such as hemorrhage, infection, surgical mishap, and death.

The CDC is the foremost expert on public health in our country and, as such, has a responsibility to share the truth about circumcision. Sign our petition to the CDC below and demand a truthful statement on the risks and harms of newborn male circumcision."
post #504 of 719

Sexual Disfunction...

Hey guys, I'm a new member, here, but I thought I'd chime in even though this is a very old thread. As a circumcised male from birth, I have always had what I now regard as severe sexual dysfunction, because I have never been able to have an orgasm through intercourse with any of the lovers I've ever known throughout my life. I began to think that this can't be "natural"! Then I realized that I masturbate in a way that I am simply not stimulated during intercourse: I have no foreskin to rub up and down my glans to cause the ejaculatory reflex! Sadly, I know many women who are revolted by the foreskin, and some who have declared that they would have their sons cut again, if given the chance! When I explained to one woman about the lack of sexual sensitivity in the penis--and my in particular--she scoffed at the issue when she responded that her husband (who was cut() laughed at the very notion. But, isn't that like asking a blind man to describe the color "orange". I even know that, albeit I am only 30, I have even less sensitivity than what I used to. And, the knowledge that intact men experience so much more pleasure than I ever will for the whole of my existence (8-0-90% more) haunts me! Sometimes it makes em seriously depressed, in fact, because I know that there is NOTHING that I can do about it--NOTHING! There a way to create a faux-skin by stretching out the shaft skin, but it doesn't replace those specialized tissues that are FILLED with nerve endings. Why parents seem to believe that they have some sort of right over their son's body is something that I simply do not "get". And, why don't more parents question the accepted "wisdom"? After all, why mess with how we've come into the world, anyway?

By the way, something else that's always plagues me are intact fathers who allow their sons to be circumcised! A couple older teachers whom I had in high School (in their 60s or so) were intact, yet their sons were all cut! They, of all people, should have known the pleasurable benefits of the foreskin, so why'd they let this happen?
post #505 of 719
MacMorrighan, welcome to MDC!

I would like to give you and say that you are not alone! There are thousands of men with simular circ complications.

I pm'd you some info that you may find helpful. Let me know if you have any questions.

I'm so sorry it happened to you.
yulia
post #506 of 719
I'm so, so ashamed to be writing this post yet I feel I must get it out. My son is circ'd because I didn't do the research I also let Dad make the decision and like so many others, he did it because he is circ'd.

I tried for 15 years to have a child and suffered many losses. So when I got pregnant yet again, they classified me as high risk and I was put on several sustaining meds. The entire pregnancy my focus was on getting my baby here safely and I failed to look beyond that. That is my only weak excuse for not researching circ thoroughly.

I consider myself and my son very lucky that we had no complications. I do want another child and I know without a doubt if I was to have another son that we will not ever circ again. NEVER. I co sleep, breastfeed, and wear my son and I failed him with this. It makes me angry and sad.
post #507 of 719
Hugs, latte mama! No parent is perfect and you're now armed with more information for your next pregnancy. Please also share your story with any pregnant family members or friends. I think parents who regret circing can make a huge difference by sharing what they know.
post #508 of 719
Bumping for someone.
post #509 of 719
To the poster above, I would get a second legal opinion. If the child's mother is finding it difficult to support herself, then perhaps you should pursue your case in the best interest of the boy. Waiting several years can be a awful long time, and you should consider and/or try to exhaust all your options before making a final decision.
post #510 of 719
Quote:
Originally Posted by tennisdude23 View Post
To the poster above, I would get a second legal opinion. If the child's mother is finding it difficult to support herself, then perhaps you should pursue your case in the best interest of the boy. Waiting several years can be a awful long time, and you should consider and/or try to exhaust all your options before making a final decision.
You need to realize that this is not someone from the US - but another country where courts may view things very, very differently. If this poster was from the US - i would agree though
post #511 of 719
Quote:
Originally Posted by KJoslyn78 View Post
You need to realize that this is not someone from the US - but another country where courts may view things very, very differently. If this poster was from the US - i would agree though
Well, we are talking about Sweden, a country with a well established, codified legal system. My assumption is that there will be greater similarities in the law than differences. I am still of the opinion that the poster should investigate all the legal options at hand. Waiting until the mother ends up in a shelter could be detrimental to the child's well being. Vindictiveness should be laid aside and the case should be pursued from the standpoint of what's in the best interest of the child. I believe that the boy should end up with the family member that can provide the best emotional and financial support in the long term, whether that be the parents, grandparents, and/or legal guardian.
post #512 of 719
I wanted to comment about your statement that you would start restoration for your son. I'm not sure if that was actually what you meant, but that is the type of process that is done by the individual and would be considered a bit of a violation for you to do it for him.
As for the circumstances around your son, I'd be afraid she'd leave the country and take your son with her. Good luck in navigating this situation. I can completely understand how it would leave you so angry- and I'm happy there are places in the world that see circumcision as the human rights violation it is. I hope this situation is not any more tragic than it already is... you make it sound like your son is really in an unsafe (unloving) environment.

Perhaps you could start a new thread so we can offer suggestion (if that is what you would like) and support, but keep this thread on topic?

Jessica
post #513 of 719

with (hugs) to our families with regrets
post #514 of 719
Well add me to the list of mamas who regret it. See my other thread titled "in case you needed another reason - circ horror story" for details. In short, we had a major complication with bleeding and my son could have died if I hadn't realized how bad it was, and as it was he needed a transfusion and a second operation to fix it.
post #515 of 719
I have removed numerous posts from this thread. I want to remind everyone of the TCAC guidelines:
Quote:
In an effort to minimize language which might alienate those seeking information, we are cautious about using pejorative terms such as abuse, barbarism, mutilation, etc. when routinely discussing circumcision. Let the facts speak for themselves.
post #516 of 719

wish I could go back

Hello everyone,
I hope this post reaches some father reading this thread. I'm going to try to do my best to save any more boys/men from having to live with altered bodies that they didn't choose. I was circumcised at birth. When my son was born a few years ago my wife and I both stressed over the decision to circumcise. I didn't want to go through with it, not because I had done a bunch of reasearch, but because I didn't think there was a good reason to cut perfectly good skin off a newborn. My wife was convinced it was the right thing to do. One of her principal reasons was so he could look like me. I realize now how crazy that was (now he can resent me like I do my parents, and feel abused like I do) Because this was our first child, and we had only been married a short time I didn't stand up to her with what I knew to be true in my heart. At least she listened to me about the method, which I believe saved the most skin possable, and was the safest, given the options that were available. I never reflected on my own circumcised status when deciding not to stand up to her. Over the last week I've been researching, and reflecting on my own sex life, and I'm convinced that being circumcised has caused me difficulties. I remember it bothering me very much during adolescence, becase it was rubbing against my clothing. Certain things during sex have never felt quite right to me, and now that I know how it is done, it sure explains a lot. No doctor should be able to decide for you how much or how little to take, and decide what you will feel for the rest of your life. I think my experience and my sons has tramatized us, and changed our behavior. I'm sad every time I think about the situation. I hope I never have to talk to my son about it, I cry even thinking about that day. To date this is the biggest regret of my life.

There is no reason to perform surgury on a minor without their consent, unless there is an immediate risk.
post #517 of 719
Quote:
Originally Posted by superdad25 View Post
Hello everyone,
I hope this post reaches some father reading this thread. I'm going to try to do my best to save any more boys/men from having to live with altered bodies that they didn't choose. I was circumcised at birth. When my son was born a few years ago my wife and I both stressed over the decision to circumcise. I didn't want to go through with it, not because I had done a bunch of reasearch, but because I didn't think there was a good reason to cut perfectly good skin off a newborn. My wife was convinced it was the right thing to do. One of her principal reasons was so he could look like me. I realize now how crazy that was (now he can resent me like I do my parents, and feel abused like I do) Because this was our first child, and we had only been married a short time I didn't stand up to her with what I knew to be true in my heart. At least she listened to me about the method, which I believe saved the most skin possable, and was the safest, given the options that were available. I never reflected on my own circumcised status when deciding not to stand up to her. Over the last week I've been researching, and reflecting on my own sex life, and I'm convinced that being circumcised has caused me difficulties. I remember it bothering me very much during adolescence, becase it was rubbing against my clothing. Certain things during sex have never felt quite right to me, and now that I know how it is done, it sure explains a lot. No doctor should be able to decide for you how much or how little to take, and decide what you will feel for the rest of your life. I think my experience and my sons has tramatized us, and changed our behavior. I'm sad every time I think about the situation. I hope I never have to talk to my son about it, I cry even thinking about that day. To date this is the biggest regret of my life.

There is no reason to perform surgury on a minor without their consent, unless there is an immediate risk.
I'm so sorry for you, your son and all other victims of this harmful surgery (HUGS)
I, however, hope you do talk to your son about it one day, tell him about your regret and share your knowledge about the subject. So if one day he will be faced with this decision for his child he won't go ahead and cut him just because he was done. It is a very hard conversation, I understand, but also so very important one.
post #518 of 719
bumpity bump...
post #519 of 719

I regret circumcising my son

This is a huge reason why I am afraid to have another child. I feel like the only way I can have another son safely is if my family runs away to some place on the other side of the world..Australia maybe? The pressure from outside family would be enormous. No seriously, I cannot do this to another child of mine. The issue that one would look different from the other does not bother me so much, though it is unforgivable that my son is circumcised, I cannot allow it to be done again.
post #520 of 719
(((Hugs))) Remember it is YOUR son, all you have to do is write your wish not to have him circumcised on a piece of paper and keep it with you. The medical staff is there to protect you from your family if need be, even if it doesn't always feel like it, they have to, that is their job! (To stand up for the wishes/rights of the mother/baby dyad).
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