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If you regret circumcising your son(s), please post here. - Page 29

post #561 of 719

Regret

sorry triple post - please delete
post #562 of 719

Regret

HELP, ADVICE & THOUGHTS NEEDED.


I am reposting my story because I want to expand on my thoughts and because I continue to have guilt that is eating me up inside. It is very hard.

I regret allowing this to be done to my son more than I regret anything in my entire life. I knew that I was not comfortable with the thought of having my son circ'd and I even researched it a bit. Decided I didn't want to do it. I've even had an ex bf that was intact so I knew the difference unlike so many other women who circ their babies. AND YET, I allowed it to be done. How is that for a bad mother :'(

Why did I allow it?
DH wanted son to look like him, said HE wasn't traumitized by it, said it would get infected yada yada. I gave him pages of very good info about why it was wrong and harmful. We took a child birth class and DH asked the lady about circ and she said "intact kids tend to get infections". I was po'd as that did not help my case with DH as she was a nurse and someone who "should" know about these things.

Anyway, I went into labor almost 2 weeks before my supposed due date. So we never came to an agreement before the birth. The Dr who was going to do it came in. Both DH and I sat him down to ask questions. He was very mean to me. Even DH thought so. I had just given birth, was hormonal and hadn't slept much in 3 days and this jerk had me almost in tears. He told me his 1st 2 sons were circ'd and had issues and had to be re-done. Because of this they left the 3rd son intact. But, he ended up having to be circ'd too due to a horrible infection which is common in intact males. He said that either way you can't win. He told me that the birth was very traumatic to my son...more so than a circ. - even though it was a smooth, uncomplicated and epi free birth. He also asked my husband and I...."how are you going to agree on big things later in life if you cant even agree on one little thing now?!!!!" He said that we could wait if that's what we felt we had to do and come back in a week OR we could get it over with. So I signed the paper....and hid in the bathroom and cried. Spineless. My DH said he heard son cry but it didn't take long and when they brought him back he nursed. The dr said he did it "loose" for us. What that means I'm still not quite sure? I hate that dr. he knew I didn't want it. He should have INSISTED we wait until we were 100% and not done it til then! But, it's not his problem yanno! And hey lets not forget the cash burning a hole in his pocket!

Every time I changed my son I felt horrible. Cried. Had anxiety for a long time. I still do at times. Esp. since I found out dh didn't really look over the info I gave him like I thought.... And because now he says if he thought I'd take it so hard, he wouldn't have had "that much" of a problem with not getting it done. I could have just said NO!

I feel like a bad mother. He was a day old and I handed him over and *I* knew better. I did not protect him. I was spineless.
And the more I learn and come across anti-circ forums. The more I hate what I allowed.

It's sad and silly but I keep hoping and praying that since it is "loose" it won't be *as bad*, that it will be easier if he wants to restore it and .....even that it will grow back Yea, I know it won't grow back....I just keep thinking it. Please God?

I hope he doesn't grow up and hate me and feel I failed.
I hope he doesn't suffer anything negative from it.
I hope he does not continue this practice on his sons.

So what do I do now? What do I tell him when he is older besides "I'm sorry I failed you"? How do I stop hating myself? What do I do when every time I see his penis I think about how it was perfect and I let it be hacked at and altered? How do I protest against circ and advocate for infant rights when I allowed it to be done to my own son?
post #563 of 719
Oh my word... My husband is American and I'm Dutch-Norwegian. Our son was born a year ago in Norway, and my husband wanted him circumcised. I said no way. Plus it is illegal in Norway. Turns out, it isn't illegal, but after seeing a Penn and Teller episode on Circumcision, I decided that I would never, ever, ever let someone harm my son. And after reading a few of these posts, I am so glad I stuck to my guns. I know my husband, even after watching that episode, wants our son to be circumcised, because he wants him to "be like his daddy", but I am firm on my no. If our son, at a later date, decides that he wants to be circumcised, he can have it done as an adult. Yes, there will be pain involved, but no less than if he were a baby, but at least then he'll make the choice of his own, we won't make it for him.

I got given a LOT of grief for it by my in-laws. My father in law (husbands step dad) isn't circumcised, and he said that he had been given a lot of grief from women about it. Honestly, if that is what you base your opinion on, then it is not worth anything to me. And mother in law went the "it's more hygienic" route. I tried explaining to them that that was not true, and got ignored, so went the "whatever"-route with them.

to all who had it done and now regret it. Don't worry about it, what's done is done and make the best of it. At least you know for the future so you can make better informed decisions later and inform family and friends.
post #564 of 719
I didn't circumcise my own son, but I was circumcised. It didn't cause any particular problems being cut, but I resent that this operation was done to me without my consent. We had already decided not to cut, but I asked one of my dearest friends one day what he thought about circumcision. Now consider this is a super mellow guy 99% of the time. Well he got red in the face and his voice went up half an octave and doubled in volume as he told me how p!ssed off he was that he too was cut without his consent.

I also believe the high circumcision rate of the 1960s and 1970s and the widespread use of erectile dysfunction remedies is not coincidental.
post #565 of 719
Quote:
Originally Posted by mermaidmama View Post
HELP, ADVICE & THOUGHTS NEEDED.


I am reposting my story because I want to expand on my thoughts and because I continue to have guilt that is eating me up inside. It is very hard.

I regret allowing this to be done to my son more than I regret anything in my entire life. I knew that I was not comfortable with the thought of having my son circ'd and I even researched it a bit. Decided I didn't want to do it. I've even had an ex bf that was intact so I knew the difference unlike so many other women who circ their babies. AND YET, I allowed it to be done. How is that for a bad mother :'(

Why did I allow it?
DH wanted son to look like him, said HE wasn't traumitized by it, said it would get infected yada yada. I gave him pages of very good info about why it was wrong and harmful. We took a child birth class and DH asked the lady about circ and she said "intact kids tend to get infections". I was po'd as that did not help my case with DH as she was a nurse and someone who "should" know about these things.

Anyway, I went into labor almost 2 weeks before my supposed due date. So we never came to an agreement before the birth. The Dr who was going to do it came in. Both DH and I sat him down to ask questions. He was very mean to me. Even DH thought so. I had just given birth, was hormonal and hadn't slept much in 3 days and this jerk had me almost in tears. He told me his 1st 2 sons were circ'd and had issues and had to be re-done. Because of this they left the 3rd son intact. But, he ended up having to be circ'd too due to a horrible infection which is common in intact males. He said that either way you can't win. He told me that the birth was very traumatic to my son...more so than a circ. - even though it was a smooth, uncomplicated and epi free birth. He also asked my husband and I...."how are you going to agree on big things later in life if you cant even agree on one little thing now?!!!!" He said that we could wait if that's what we felt we had to do and come back in a week OR we could get it over with. So I signed the paper....and hid in the bathroom and cried. Spineless. My DH said he heard son cry but it didn't take long and when they brought him back he nursed. The dr said he did it "loose" for us. What that means I'm still not quite sure? I hate that dr. he knew I didn't want it. He should have INSISTED we wait until we were 100% and not done it til then! But, it's not his problem yanno! And hey lets not forget the cash burning a hole in his pocket!

Every time I changed my son I felt horrible. Cried. Had anxiety for a long time. I still do at times. Esp. since I found out dh didn't really look over the info I gave him like I thought.... And because now he says if he thought I'd take it so hard, he wouldn't have had "that much" of a problem with not getting it done. I could have just said NO!

I feel like a bad mother. He was a day old and I handed him over and *I* knew better. I did not protect him. I was spineless.
And the more I learn and come across anti-circ forums. The more I hate what I allowed.

It's sad and silly but I keep hoping and praying that since it is "loose" it won't be *as bad*, that it will be easier if he wants to restore it and .....even that it will grow back Yea, I know it won't grow back....I just keep thinking it. Please God?

I hope he doesn't grow up and hate me and feel I failed.
I hope he doesn't suffer anything negative from it.
I hope he does not continue this practice on his sons.

So what do I do now? What do I tell him when he is older besides "I'm sorry I failed you"? How do I stop hating myself? What do I do when every time I see his penis I think about how it was perfect and I let it be hacked at and altered? How do I protest against circ and advocate for infant rights when I allowed it to be done to my own son?
I am so, so sorry, mama.

I wish I had something to say that I know would comfort you. But I know that horrible feeling of letting a child down, and knowing that you cannot take your mistake back...
All I can say is that, I can tell from reading your post that you are full of love for your lo. A wonderful mama, who is always thinking about what is best for her baby.
Flat out, you made a mistake. This may be a bigger mistake in your eyes, than most others... but for every mistake you have to forgive yourself. If you don't, it will take years from you, and turn, take your ds' mama away from him. Regret and sorrow are natural things to have to go through, but they will eat away at you if you don't overcome them.
Do it for your baby. You may have made one mistake. Let yourself off the hook. Choose to respect yourself. Get over the guilt, and move forward. Leave it behind and don't look back.
You are a very sweet lady, and a loving mama, I can tell. You deserve to let it go. Your baby deserves for his mama to be free from the guilt, and the bondage
post #566 of 719
I so wish many more parents read this thread. I am trying my best to get the word out on this thread, so there are no more regrets that parents have to go through looking back.

Its really awful that some women don't get it still. They just look at it through a cosmetic point of view. I mean seriously, are you going to get your son circ'd just coz it doesn't look good??

I read this article ( http://healthmad.com/index.php/Men's...n-Women.541911 ) a long while back about the attitudes of American women towards the foreskin and circumcision and it doesn't surprise me - I have met a lot of women like those mentioned in the article, who just have a callous, irresponsible attitude towards circumcising their male kids.
post #567 of 719
I regret it.

I'm Jewish and felt like it was very important, despite the fact that I'm not particularly religious. Now I think I was just being ridiculous.

I know DS is ok and that he'll be fine, but I wish I hadn't done it.
post #568 of 719
Quote:
Originally Posted by TerriCA View Post
I read this article ( http://healthmad.com/index.php/Men's...n-Women.541911 ) a long while back about the attitudes of American women towards the foreskin and circumcision and it doesn't surprise me - I have met a lot of women like those mentioned in the article, who just have a callous, irresponsible attitude towards circumcising their male kids.
Attitudes like that disgust me. Who are they to decide what someone else's genitals should look like? If men went around routinely mocking and sneering at the appearance of women's genitals, there would be uproar, but somehow it's okay to do the same to the natural, normal penis?
post #569 of 719

re

Thank you for your reply bluebirdiemama. It helped. I know I need to forgive myself. Just don't know what to say. Sometimes I read posts talking about parents who allow their sons to be circ'd and it is hard.
post #570 of 719
Hi Mermaidmama:

Your posting is heartbreaking! I am so sorry you had to go through that. It was hearing stories just like yours from a few of my friends who had children much earlier than I did, among other things, that made me decide not to do it. But I was a single mom, my son's dad had skipped out, so I got to make the decision myself. Even if my son's dad had been around, though, I am sure he wouldn't have insisted on circ because he wasn't circumcised either!

I have dated two uncircumcised guys and neither of them had any kind of infection of any kind, EVER. That kind of logic just baffles me. Any part of your body can get infected! Should we cut off fingers, toes, and noses just because someday they might possibly get infected? Do we cut off all breasts because some women get breast cancer? That doesn't make sense. (And I am not speaking to you here, AT ALL, just to that idea that a penis is some kind of super disease- and infection-prone organ. It's just such a silly idea.)

I am so sorry that you are feeling so much pain about what you and your son went through, and it's unfortunate that now, after the fact, your spouse is saying it wasn't really a big deal.

And that doctor sounds like a HUGE #&&%$$! Who is he to come in and pressure you during such a stressful, exhausting time? Seriously, so many doctors are so arrogant and pretentious, it's just terrible.

If you are worried about how your son will feel when he is older, I would save some of what you've written about this for him so he can know your true feelings about it. You might share it if the subject ever came up, but maybe not if he didn't bring it up? I don't know. I am sure you will know what is right when the time comes.

Big hug for you!
post #571 of 719
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sopranos View Post
You could EASILY sue and win.
Yes. Go for it. Try: http://www.arclaw.org/
post #572 of 719
Bumping this. It seems that lately people have been commenting on how many problems it appears intact boys have b/c of the number of posts asking for help. Thought it would be useful to bump this, which has so many stories of things going wrong for circ'd boys.
post #573 of 719
Nice post... interesting !
post #574 of 719

So sorry we chose to circumsice

On a glorious autumn morning my sweet son was born into a family full of love in the peaceful surroundings of his parent’s bed. Jack came into the world with much to say and introduced himself in a very boisterous way.
The peace and tranquility ended on day 16 of his life. On that day, the tears and hurt began. My husband and I took Jack to have his circumcision performed at the office of a recommended urologist. We naively believed that this was “just a routine procedure”. My husband filled out the paperwork while I nursed Jack in the waiting room. We were called back and asked if we wanted to stay in the room while the doctor did the procedure. We both wanted to be there for him and I wanted to be able to nurse him for comfort right away. Jack was strapped down and the doctor numbed his penis. He screamed in pain and I felt my stomach drop. A few minutes later the doctor did the cut and the nurse commented, “That’s a beauty.” The doctor invited my husband to take a look seemingly proud of what he had just done. We were told to put Vaseline dressings on at each diaper change and dismissed to go home. I again nursed my little man and then buckled him into the car seat. Jack cried for a few minutes and then fell asleep from the stress of it all. When we arrived home we were greeted by my mom and Jack’s big brother and sister. We cuddled on the sofa for a little bit and then my mom took Jack into my room to change his diaper before we sat down to dinner. I heard my mom yell for me in a frantic voice. I rushed in to see what was alarming her and was shocked to see Jack had bleed through his cloth diaper and the diaper cover. There was a lot of blood and it was still oozing out of the circumcision site. I yelled for my husband to call the doctor right away. It was now about 5:45 pm so when he called the doctor’s office no one answered. I insisted he keep trying and then attempted to call myself 3 times. When it became clear we would not get through to the doctor I called Jack’s pediatrician. He instructed us to apply very firm pressure to his penis for 10 minutes and if the bleeding did not stop to go to the emergency room. After 10 minutes it was clear that this was not going to be enough to subside the bleeding. We jumped in the van and rushed to the emergency room. By the time we got to the ER Jack had lost a lot more blood. I was holding him in the waiting room and my jeans were soaked with his blood, the blanket I had wrapped him in was soaked with blood, his little socks were soaked with blood. When we arrived they assessed the situation and asked us why we had not called the urologist. We informed them we could not reach him. My husband continued to hold firm pressure on Jack’s penis while the ER staff decided what to do. They were able to contact the urologist and decided to use a liquid to try to stop the bleeding. The ER doctor told us it had a 50/50 chance of working. The bleeding slowed down for a few minutes and then picked up again. The bed and the towels on the bed became saturated with Jack’s blood. My husband and a paramedic in training held pressure to Jack’s penis while we waited for an ambulance to transfer us to the ER where the urologist who did this to Jack had privileges. It seems we chose the wrong ER unknowingly since we were not told what to do in the event of an emergency. The urologist on call at the ER we originally went to refused to fix the mistake of another doctor. The ambulance crew arrived and was instructed that it was necessary to continue to apply pressure to Jack’s penis to slow the bleeding. The EMT that would be sitting in the back of the ambulance with Jack and me insisted that I buckle him into his car seat rather than hold him in my arms on the stretcher. Against my instincts I complied. When we got situated in the back of the ambulance the driver turned on the lights and began to drive quickly to the next ER. The EMT in the back said “You can kill all that.” At which time the driver turned off the lights and began driving the speed limit. Inside I was screaming “What? No, we need to get there quickly.” But, I thought the EMT knew best since he was the medical professional. I was sitting next to Jack’s car seat and keeping a close eye on him. I commented that he was bleeding through the towels and the EMT came over to take a look then sat back down. A few minutes later I repeated that he was losing more blood and was answered with a “Mmm.” I then questioned why Jack was looking so pale and why his lips were turning blue. The EMT responded “There could be a lot of reasons for that.” Again I dumbly trusted the medical professional. I assumed we were safe because we were in the back of an ambulance. During the 45 minute drive to the ER (which could have been less than 20 minutes had the driver left the lights on and gone fast) I continued to comment on Jack’s blood loss and color. The EMT only checked the monitor for oxygen levels. When we finally arrived at the next ER the paramedic on duty there took one look at Jack and said “His color is awful. We need to get an IV in this baby right away.” They put in the IV and placed an oxygen mask on my baby’s face. I was terrified. My husband and I were both sobbing and stood there holding onto one another and asking God to “Please spare our son. “ I looked down to see his car seat full of blood. We felt completely helpless and so guilty that our baby had to endure this. The urologist that had performed the circumcision came in and placed four sutures in Jack’s penis. He had cut the frenula artery when performing the original surgery. The bleeding finally stopped. The ER staff then drew some blood to run Jack’s hemoglobin and hematocrit levels. They came back low but not low enough to warrant a blood transfusion so we were monitored for a couple of hours then sent home. We were told to have the blood work done again the next day. I did not want to cause Jack extra stress so I asked my midwife to please come to the house to take his blood rather than driving him back to the lab. She agreed and said she would drive the blood right to the hospital for testing. When she arrived, she checked his heart rate and breathing and drew the blood. She left and on the way to the hospital she called Jack’s pediatrician to discuss his condition. She then called me and informed me that they both agreed that due to his rapid heart rate and breathing as well as his listless state that I needed to call 911 right away and go back to the ER with Jack. I did just that and this time had an amazing ambulance crew. My midwife was there waiting for us with the lab results that Jack’s hemoglobin and hematocrit had dropped dramatically since the night before. The ER wanted to run their own test so Jack was poked again. The results came back the same. We were then sent by ambulance to a hospital with a pediatric unit. We were admitted to the hospital and spent 23 hours there being observed. His levels were checked at 5:00am the next morning and were on the rise so he did not require a blood transfusion. We had to stay until 8:00pm that night because he was still very lethargic and nursing poorly. He lost 5 ounces and needed to show the doctors that he could eat well before we could go home. The next two weeks we had follow up appointments and more blood work to make sure Jack’s hemoglobin and hematocrit continued to rise. He has to take iron supplements until his levels are normal again. All of this because we believed the lie that circumcision is “just a simple procedure.” During the time our son was meant to learn that his world is a safe and loving place, he had to endure needless pain. Please consider what happened to Jack before you decide to have your son circumcised.
post #575 of 719
Wow. That is just terrible. Please share your story with everyone you know so that circumcision will stop. No cosmetic preference is worth a baby dying.
post #576 of 719
My son is intact, but my brother was circumcised. He wants his foreskin back, and my mother still has intense regret over allowing it. She didn't want to do it, but she was pressured into it by the doctor and my father.
post #577 of 719
Quote:
Originally Posted by monkey mamma View Post
On a glorious autumn morning my sweet son was born into a family full of love in the peaceful surroundings of his parent’s bed. Jack came into the world with much to say and introduced himself in a very boisterous way.
The peace and tranquility ended on day 16 of his life. On that day, the tears and hurt began. My husband and I took Jack to have his circumcision performed at the office of a recommended urologist. We naively believed that this was “just a routine procedure”. My husband filled out the paperwork while I nursed Jack in the waiting room. We were called back and asked if we wanted to stay in the room while the doctor did the procedure. We both wanted to be there for him and I wanted to be able to nurse him for comfort right away. Jack was strapped down and the doctor numbed his penis. He screamed in pain and I felt my stomach drop. A few minutes later the doctor did the cut and the nurse commented, “That’s a beauty.” The doctor invited my husband to take a look seemingly proud of what he had just done. We were told to put Vaseline dressings on at each diaper change and dismissed to go home. I again nursed my little man and then buckled him into the car seat. Jack cried for a few minutes and then fell asleep from the stress of it all. When we arrived home we were greeted by my mom and Jack’s big brother and sister. We cuddled on the sofa for a little bit and then my mom took Jack into my room to change his diaper before we sat down to dinner. I heard my mom yell for me in a frantic voice. I rushed in to see what was alarming her and was shocked to see Jack had bleed through his cloth diaper and the diaper cover. There was a lot of blood and it was still oozing out of the circumcision site. I yelled for my husband to call the doctor right away. It was now about 5:45 pm so when he called the doctor’s office no one answered. I insisted he keep trying and then attempted to call myself 3 times. When it became clear we would not get through to the doctor I called Jack’s pediatrician. He instructed us to apply very firm pressure to his penis for 10 minutes and if the bleeding did not stop to go to the emergency room. After 10 minutes it was clear that this was not going to be enough to subside the bleeding. We jumped in the van and rushed to the emergency room. By the time we got to the ER Jack had lost a lot more blood. I was holding him in the waiting room and my jeans were soaked with his blood, the blanket I had wrapped him in was soaked with blood, his little socks were soaked with blood. When we arrived they assessed the situation and asked us why we had not called the urologist. We informed them we could not reach him. My husband continued to hold firm pressure on Jack’s penis while the ER staff decided what to do. They were able to contact the urologist and decided to use a liquid to try to stop the bleeding. The ER doctor told us it had a 50/50 chance of working. The bleeding slowed down for a few minutes and then picked up again. The bed and the towels on the bed became saturated with Jack’s blood. My husband and a paramedic in training held pressure to Jack’s penis while we waited for an ambulance to transfer us to the ER where the urologist who did this to Jack had privileges. It seems we chose the wrong ER unknowingly since we were not told what to do in the event of an emergency. The urologist on call at the ER we originally went to refused to fix the mistake of another doctor. The ambulance crew arrived and was instructed that it was necessary to continue to apply pressure to Jack’s penis to slow the bleeding. The EMT that would be sitting in the back of the ambulance with Jack and me insisted that I buckle him into his car seat rather than hold him in my arms on the stretcher. Against my instincts I complied. When we got situated in the back of the ambulance the driver turned on the lights and began to drive quickly to the next ER. The EMT in the back said “You can kill all that.” At which time the driver turned off the lights and began driving the speed limit. Inside I was screaming “What? No, we need to get there quickly.” But, I thought the EMT knew best since he was the medical professional. I was sitting next to Jack’s car seat and keeping a close eye on him. I commented that he was bleeding through the towels and the EMT came over to take a look then sat back down. A few minutes later I repeated that he was losing more blood and was answered with a “Mmm.” I then questioned why Jack was looking so pale and why his lips were turning blue. The EMT responded “There could be a lot of reasons for that.” Again I dumbly trusted the medical professional. I assumed we were safe because we were in the back of an ambulance. During the 45 minute drive to the ER (which could have been less than 20 minutes had the driver left the lights on and gone fast) I continued to comment on Jack’s blood loss and color. The EMT only checked the monitor for oxygen levels. When we finally arrived at the next ER the paramedic on duty there took one look at Jack and said “His color is awful. We need to get an IV in this baby right away.” They put in the IV and placed an oxygen mask on my baby’s face. I was terrified. My husband and I were both sobbing and stood there holding onto one another and asking God to “Please spare our son. “ I looked down to see his car seat full of blood. We felt completely helpless and so guilty that our baby had to endure this. The urologist that had performed the circumcision came in and placed four sutures in Jack’s penis. He had cut the frenula artery when performing the original surgery. The bleeding finally stopped. The ER staff then drew some blood to run Jack’s hemoglobin and hematocrit levels. They came back low but not low enough to warrant a blood transfusion so we were monitored for a couple of hours then sent home. We were told to have the blood work done again the next day. I did not want to cause Jack extra stress so I asked my midwife to please come to the house to take his blood rather than driving him back to the lab. She agreed and said she would drive the blood right to the hospital for testing. When she arrived, she checked his heart rate and breathing and drew the blood. She left and on the way to the hospital she called Jack’s pediatrician to discuss his condition. She then called me and informed me that they both agreed that due to his rapid heart rate and breathing as well as his listless state that I needed to call 911 right away and go back to the ER with Jack. I did just that and this time had an amazing ambulance crew. My midwife was there waiting for us with the lab results that Jack’s hemoglobin and hematocrit had dropped dramatically since the night before. The ER wanted to run their own test so Jack was poked again. The results came back the same. We were then sent by ambulance to a hospital with a pediatric unit. We were admitted to the hospital and spent 23 hours there being observed. His levels were checked at 5:00am the next morning and were on the rise so he did not require a blood transfusion. We had to stay until 8:00pm that night because he was still very lethargic and nursing poorly. He lost 5 ounces and needed to show the doctors that he could eat well before we could go home. The next two weeks we had follow up appointments and more blood work to make sure Jack’s hemoglobin and hematocrit continued to rise. He has to take iron supplements until his levels are normal again. All of this because we believed the lie that circumcision is “just a simple procedure.” During the time our son was meant to learn that his world is a safe and loving place, he had to endure needless pain. Please consider what happened to Jack before you decide to have your son circumcised.
Thank you for sharing your story. I am in tears just reading it.
post #578 of 719

I am a birth doula, and an intactivist.  I have a 31 year old son, who I allowed to have circumcised when he was one day old.  I have never regretted anything more.  I was uninformed, had no idea why I was signing the consent form, thought this was what we had to do.  Little did I know that I was allowing my precious baby to not only be tortured and mutilated, but to rob him and his wife of the most optimal and pleasurable sexual experiences they could enjoy together.  I remember the doctor bringing him back to me in my hospital room.  He looked terrible , all red, blotchy, upset, crying. terrified.  She just said, "He's a little upset, he'll be fine".  I want to literally vomit every time I think about it.  I live with such guilt over this, I don't think I will ever forgive myself, even though it was done with what I thought were good intentions for him and his future.  What a load of crap.  It's all about money, and that's why I am so adamant about this today.  Please, please, leave your baby boys intact.  The foreskin is there for a very important reason.  If you have any doubts, please review a circumcision procedure page to be fully horrified, and to completely understand what is being done to these innocent babies, who did not give anyone permission to mutilate them.  This is a senseless, barbaric, tortuous mutilation, period.  Unless medically warranted, it should be a felony .  And I don't mean medically ADVISED for BS reasons like hygiene, or reduced rates of HIV.  None of that has any merit whatsoever.  I became an intactivist to try and save other baby boys from this heinous crime, wishing I would've saved my own son.  I will live with this regret and guilt all my life.  As a birth doula, I try to educate and inform expectant parents about this subject.  They, like me, didn't know any different than that this is socially expected and should be done, end of story.  This must stop.  Again, I beg you to leave your perfect baby boys intact.

post #579 of 719

My son had his second meatotomy at age 8 just last week.  I can not describe how much I regret circ'ing him.  I was raised Jewish and never thought about it.  As they wheeled him back to do it before we could leave the hospital, I had second thoughts but was told I already consented and signed the forms and the doctor was waiting-it was too late.  I cried when he came back.  It was horrific and looked botched as well.  He has chronic pain and bedwetting issues from it.  I wish I could change the past...

post #580 of 719

I have a 5 year old son, who is circumcised, and it is something that I deeply regret. I didnt really know anything about circumcision, and I left the decision up to his father, who opted to have it done. As I got into birth work and more actively involved in online communities over the last 4 years and became more educated on the subject, I know now what a horrible decision that was. There is no excuse for a healthy, functioning part of an infant's body to be surgically removed without their consent for cosmetic reasons. I now am staunchly against routine infant circumcision, and I consider it a human rights violation. No future sons I may have are going to be cut, and I encourage friends, family, and clients to leave their sons intact.

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