rach - i'm so sorry. your story is very similar to mine 7 years ago. i was a nervous wreck taking him in, it took way longer than i expected, and when they brought him back to me he had stitches in his penis. :( i think i have forgiven myself but the guilt i feel is still there and still very strong 7 years later.
mare - does your son have children? i am waiting for the right time to talk to my son about his circumcision. i'm nervous because i don't want him to think there's something wrong with his penis but i want to get the message across that i'm sorry we did this to him and that i hope he doesn't choose circumcision for his sons someday. my husband is 33 and was circumcised and he wishes his very pro-circ parents would talk to him about it. he wants them to know he's not happy with the choice they made, but at the same time he doesn't want to bring it up with them because what's done is done.
well your husband is right, what's done is done, and you have to do the best with what you have. What else can you do? At 33, your husband could restore if he wants too, but some men just aren't going to do that. My son married a gal who had a daughter already and I don't think they are having any more children to my dismay (Ha Ha, I love grandchildren!). Even so, I am going to talk to him at some point about it and make a formal apology (even if it's just for me). I would say that if your son isn't asking you at his age, I would wait until he is older to talk to him (before he has any kids of his own). Of course, if he asks, you have a perfect opportunity. BTW, my husband will not talk to his mother about his circumcision, but I have (she's 80) and she was totally in the dark about it all and said they just "did" it to the boys then and no one questioned a doctor. Thankfully things have changed since then, but the problem is still with our society.