If you regret circumcising your son(s), please post here. - Page 36

[hakunangovi]

Bon Jody, Wow!  My heart goes out to you and your son.  I cannot think of a more brutal way to treat a child.  Surely that action is classed as a "battery", and as such deserves jail time?

Good luck to you.  Hang in there.  We are here to support you.

[mama24-7]

Originally Posted by bon jody 

i have been given advice to sue on behalf of my son but i don't know if i have the strength to do that.  I will go to court for sole legal custody and the hospitals child protection staff will back me 100% and apparently so will the police.  I spoke to the doctor that did it and he said there were about 3 or 4 people that went and he thought it was the whole family. They were suppose to be my friends too.  My younger son is acting out now and is angry at me...i wonder if it is because he was there too.

I'm so sorry for what has happened to your son.  I thought this might be of use to you.  Perhaps not to use today or tomorrow, but once you are calmed down some & feel like you can think about it more easily: http://www.intactamerica.org/sites/default/files/Circumcision%20and%20Your%20Legal%20Rights.pdf

Sus

[Mitchell756]

Originally Posted by bon jody 

i have been given advice to sue on behalf of my son but i don't know if i have the strength to do that.  I will go to court for sole legal custody and the hospitals child protection staff will back me 100% and apparently so will the police.  I spoke to the doctor that did it and he said there were about 3 or 4 people that went and he thought it was the whole family. They were suppose to be my friends too.  My younger son is acting out now and is angry at me...i wonder if it is because he was there too.

I would reccomend taking legal action against all of the individuals involved. With the technology available today circumcision will soon cease to be a permanent harm.

Currently the organization foregen is heading these efforts.

If they could receive a large donation their work would accelerate rapidly. 

It may not be easy but i believe that it would be best to sue your husband and his accomplices and join me and many others in supporting the work aimed at ending circumcision once and for all.

[mare54]

I'm not sure how I feel about this.  I'm all for any technology to "fix" the harm of circumcision, but I certainly don't want anyone now saying it's okay to do it to babies now because they can always fix it when they get older!  I think you know what I mean.

[Blueberry159]

Originally Posted by mare54 

I'm not sure how I feel about this.  I'm all for any technology to "fix" the harm of circumcision, but I certainly don't want anyone now saying it's okay to do it to babies now because they can always fix it when they get older!  I think you know what I mean.

I agree. And, I can't see how advancements in technology could possibly bring back all the functions of the foreskin that nature intended. Not to mention, you can't undo the trauma and the pain of unnecessary, risky, cosmetic genital surgery.

[mama24-7]

Originally Posted by Blueberry159 
I agree. And, I can't see how advancements in technology could possibly bring back all the functions of the foreskin that nature intended. Not to mention, you can't undo the trauma and the pain of unnecessary, risky, cosmetic genital surgery.

Bolding mine.  I wonder if there is a way to work through something like that?  I don't think there is but I'm not a psychiatrist.  Regardless, I find it quite interesting that the most violent places on the planet are the ones where circ of minors is the most prevalent.  No one ever seems to make *that* connection though.  So. Incredibly. Sad.

Sus 

[karmal2]

I left the choice up to my sons father. I didn't know any better. The hospital asked while I was pregnant and he said "of course". No question in his mind. My son was born and before they took him to have the surgery, I signed the papers to allow it to happen. They explained what would happen "w will take him down and give him a little anesthetic and then we just pull up the extra skin, twist and snip. Then we will bring him right back to you. Do you want to come watch and stay with him?" (Sad that over two years later I remember every word she said to me). I still haven't found anything that supports her claim that they just "twist and snip". He didn't seem like he was in a lot of pain, but maybe that was because I exclusively breastfed and had strong pain meds for a few weeks because of my c-section. When family changed his diapers, they asked me why he WASN'T circumcised. He went through all that, just to look like it never happened?? He has always (since the surgery) had an incredibly sensitive penis. He cries out in pain when I change his diaper, even now, two years later. He has had adhesions, which were forcefully ripped apart by the dr when he was under a year old and again at 18 months. He has issues when he urinates, it kind of dribbles out instead of streams. I regret letting his father make that decision every single time I change my baby's diaper or hear him cry when he has to pee. I will not be doing this to any future sons I have.

[hakunangovi]

Wow, I'm so sorry for you and your son.  It is so sad that the medical community refuses to be up front with the complications that can, and often do, result from a circumcision.  Actualy all circumcisions cause damage but often it is not apparent until later in life.  It sounds, to me, like your son may be suffering from meatal stenosis, where the pee hole gets scarred and narrow from being exposed to urine and feces in the diaper.  This is a common ( 10% ) complication of circumcision and does not occur in intact boys because the foreskin protects the glans and meatus.  Unfortunately the solution is more surgery. The weak dribble instead of a forceful stream when he pees is not a good sign and could end up causing further damage due to the back pressure and possibility that his bladder is not being completely emptied.  You might want to do some research to see if your son is so afflicted.

Good luck, and I hope things go better for both of you in the future.

[Mitchell756]

That is unfortunate what happened to your son but it is certainly not unusual. There are several different methods of circumcision so it is difficult to determine which was used on your son.If you write down the name of the doctor that performed the circumcision and the hospital where it was performed your son will be able to take legal action against them when he gets older.

How many boys will need to have their lives shattered before this practice finally comes to an end?

[bugmenot]

Originally Posted by karmal2 

I left the choice up to my sons father. I didn't know any better. The hospital asked while I was pregnant and he said "of course". No question in his mind. My son was born and before they took him to have the surgery, I signed the papers to allow it to happen. They explained what would happen "w will take him down and give him a little anesthetic and then we just pull up the extra skin, twist and snip. Then we will bring him right back to you. Do you want to come watch and stay with him?" (Sad that over two years later I remember every word she said to me). I still haven't found anything that supports her claim that they just "twist and snip". He didn't seem like he was in a lot of pain, but maybe that was because I exclusively breastfed and had strong pain meds for a few weeks because of my c-section. When family changed his diapers, they asked me why he WASN'T circumcised. He went through all that, just to look like it never happened?? He has always (since the surgery) had an incredibly sensitive penis. He cries out in pain when I change his diaper, even now, two years later. He has had adhesions, which were forcefully ripped apart by the dr when he was under a year old and again at 18 months. He has issues when he urinates, it kind of dribbles out instead of streams. I regret letting his father make that decision every single time I change my baby's diaper or hear him cry when he has to pee. I will not be doing this to any future sons I have.

In my opinion, the worst part of circumcision, other than the immediate pain, is the adhesions. If they take too much off, there's a greater chance of the boy having discomfort during erections. If they take too little off, there's the adhesions. The doctors tell the parents and caregivers to pull the skin back.


I'm not ranting against you, but I'm ranting against the system or the mindset. It's a horrible mindset and it needs obliterated.

OF COURSE the skin will re-attach! It's nature's way of trying to re-gain what someone tried to fight.

Remember Jurassic Park? The scientists tried to re-create dinosaurs under artificial rules (only female dinosaurs, etc...) well...guess what happened? Nature won!

Anyway, back to adhesions...the adhesions are nature's way of trying to re-claim what it originally had.

The worst thing anyone can do, once they have their son circumcised, is to pull those adhesions back...but it's what the doctors say to do.


I wonder if those same doctors tell parents and caregivers of intact children to pull the skin back...probably, because they don't know any better.
Edited by bugmenot - 1/15/13 at 2:49pm

[bugmenot]

Originally Posted by Mitchell756 

That is unfortunate what happened to your son but it is certainly not unusual. There are several different methods of circumcision so it is difficult to determine which was used on your son.If you write down the name of the doctor that performed the circumcision and the hospital where it was performed your son will be able to take legal action against them when he gets older.

How many boys will need to have their lives shattered before this practice finally comes to an end?

Here's the way I see it. You're walking down a forest path and get to a fork in the path. If you go left, certain things may happen. If you go right, other things may happen. There's no way to foresee what will happen, but you *can* get advice from other people who have gone down the path before...but in the end, it's all up to you. If the path you choose gets tricky to navigate, you can't go back. No matter which path you choose, it may or may not be the same experience as others.

A kid grows up whole with no issues and wants his own circumcision. The kid gets to make his own choice. In the end, he's happy.
A kid grows up whole and has issues...he needs to be circumcised. How many times does this honestly happen? Not too many.
A kid grows up circumcised and has issues. This is a problem and maybe the wrong decision was made. Unfortunately, the parents and child will never know.
A kid grows up circumcised and appears to have no issues. He can urinate, erect, and have sex with no apparent issues. Unfortunately, this is the only thing he's ever known, so there's really no way to compare.

Option 1 - Good choice
Option 2 - Perhaps a bad choice, but in all honesty, it probably won't happen...but if it does happen, it might be easier, since the penis is bigger. The kid can undergo a difficult surgery easier, since he is older, has a bigger body, and can be sleeping (with medication and sleeping gas) during it. He can also have pain meds afterwords. A difficult part might be refraining from masturbation...obviously, in a diaper, this might be next to impossible.

Option 3 - This is a bad choice, but there's really no way to change it.
Option 4 - If you look at it neutrally, it *could* be a good choice, but there's really no way to tell. If you look at it from a biased standpoint, it's really whatever your opinion is. Talk to someone who circumcised, and it'll be a good choice in their eyes. Talk to an intactvist, and it's a horrible choice.

With all that said, either delay the surgery as long as possible OR let him make his own choice. If he's 18, 20, 25, 35 when he wants to be circumcised, it'll be easier on him AND his penis. He can also make his own decision of how much he wants removed, something he can't say as a baby.

[aihley]

I regret circumcising my son. I thought I knew what it was and I didn't. I was a valedictorian and honors student with a particular interest in biology and a nurse for a mother and I didn't research enough. I was not open to being attacked by some intactivists so it was hard for me to listen and I avoided information on their pages. I thought I knew the history of my religion and I was dead wrong. My son will suffer because of this. I only hope that he'll forgive me one day. If I could give a piece of my body to restore his I would.

[imgr8ful]

Originally Posted by bugmenot 


In my opinion, the worst part of circumcision, other than the immediate pain, is the adhesions. If they take too much off, there's a greater chance of the boy having discomfort during erections. If they take too little off, there's the adhesions. The doctors tell the parents and caregivers to pull the skin back.


I'm not ranting against you, but I'm ranting against the system or the mindset. It's a horrible mindset and it needs obliterated.

OF COURSE the skin will re-attach! It's nature's way of trying to re-gain what someone tried to fight.

Remember Jurassic Park? The scientists tried to re-create dinosaurs under artificial rules (only female dinosaurs, etc...) well...guess what happened? Nature won!

Anyway, back to adhesions...the adhesions are nature's way of trying to re-claim what it originally had.

The worst thing anyone can do, once they have their son circumcised, is to pull those adhesions back...but it's what the doctors say to do.


I wonder if those same doctors tell parents and caregivers of intact children to pull the skin back...probably, because they don't know any better.

i disagree.  when the scar line is healing, i think it's better to gently push the remaining tissue back to prevent those adhesions.  i don't think doctors tell parents this anymore and that's why so many boys these days end up having a doctor rip the adhesion apart, sometimes 2 or 3 times, or worse than that, end up needing to be cut a second time!  and yes, many doctors still tell parents of intact boys to retract the foreskin for cleaning.  to me, it seems like some doctors in this country are intentionally trying to sabotage the penises!

i was told to push it back at every diaper change until it was healed (this did not seem to bother him as it never fully attached, just got a little "sticky") - my son had/has no adhesions, he's almost 9.  his younger brothers are intact thanks to him.