I'm a mess

[texaspeach]

I just can't stop crying. I had my 38 week appt yesterday and saw two different midwives. You might remember my post last week about them suspecting a lga baby.

I asked the midwife I saw to feel of the baby and tell me how big she thought he was - she guessed 8lbs, the other midwife came in and said 8lbs too. I trust the midwive's hands more than I trust an ultrasound machine, yk? But I was NOT expecting them to say 8lbs at 38 weeks.

I'm really short. REALLY short - my driver license says I'm 4'11", but I'm actually 4'9".. That's 3" shorter than my mother and 2" smaller than my grandmother. My older brother weighed 8lb 8oz and had shoulder dystocia. Now, I KNOW that doesn't mean this baby will have shoulder dystocia or be "too big" but I'm scared. The midwives said yesterday that MOST of the time your body grows a baby that is just right for you, and that if the baby can't be born vaginally it's usually a positioning problem not a size problem - I know it's all true. I also know logically that if short women couldn't have babies vaginally, there wouldn't be any short women walking around! But emotionally I'm a mess. ETA: I know logically that even in the rare event of shoulder dystocia occurring, serious injury is even more rare. I know these things logically, but it's really hard for me to think logically about this right now.

They suggest using prostiglandin gel starting at 40 weeks to try and encourage your body to go into labor. They'd insert the gel, monitor for two hours, and send me home to continue with life/rest/sleep/eat. If labor started, I wouldn't be confined to bed and would be free to use the tub, walk around, etc. We had a very long talk about risks/benefits/etc and I asked questions my doula suggested too. I've read all the research about induction of labor for suspected macrosomia, I know it's risky business. But I'm also worried that if I wait and don't go into labor until 42 weeks I'm going to end up with a 10lb baby that just won't fit.

If the baby is 8lbs right now and continues to grow at the average rate of half a lb a week, and I don't go into labor until 40 weeks he could weigh 9lbs. Now, I know that lots of women here have 9, 10 and even 11 lb babies but that is huge to me.

I've gained 17lbs total, don't have gestational diabetes.. I don't know how this baby is so large.

I'm really worried that despite my best efforts I'm going to have a c-section. Homebirth is not an option for me because of the autoimmune stuff. We switched to hospital midwives from an OB and hired a doula.

The midwives suggest talking to the baby and asking him to be born now, relaxing as much as possible, drinking RRL, being close with DH, etc. But I just can't get it out of my head that they're looking for a reason to cut me and I'm terrified. I had a nightmare last night that I had a c-section and they cut my whole lower body off.

:

[alegna]

Not in your group, but had to respond.



Relax. They will be looking for a reason to section you- you know that. Don't give them one.

Do NOT put yourself on their time schedule. Size estimates are ESTIMATES. And babies don't really grow that fast in the last few weeks. My two were the same size though born 41 wks 2 days and 43 weeks 5 days respectively.

Feel free to pm if you need a calm voice

-Angela

[thorn]

deep breath, mama!!

their estimates can be totally off - even midwives with skilled hands can be. you are small and so the baby is going to be "out there" more and seem huge. everyone was guessing that my son was going to be big and he was only 7lbs 10oz.

also, there is no reason to assume you'll go to 42 weeks. you could go into labor tomorrow. I know it is hard but try not to worry so much about something that might not even happen! you're basing your worries on things that might not even be true.

malpositions are more common when babies are rushed out before they are ready, so that is even more reason to NOT want to induce if you have that fear.

try to relax and enjoy these last times with your baby inside of you.

[nummies]

Not in your DDC but I just wanted to say:

The same thing happened to me. They told me that my son would be well over 9lbs at 38 weeks. Yeah, at birth (almost 2 weeks later) he weighed 7lbs 11oz.

[Raene]

That's hard... Sorry you are going through that.

They estimated 3 lbs off on my firstborn...they really can be SUPER wrong. It's a guessing game from what I can tell.

Try not to let them get to you. Breathing, relaxing, and saying some positive affirmations, like "My body is growing the perfect sized baby for me" is really useful.

[texaspeach]

thanks I took some deep breaths and a shower and am a lot calmer - the nightmare I had really shook me.

These late pregnancy hormones are making it hard to think rationally. Normally I've got a little guy that sits on my shoulder and says voice of reason over here, stop freaking out! But he's gone on vacation. I get upset, start thinking about the 'what ifs' and it's just a downward spiral.

And to be clear they aren't pushing me to do anything. They presented choices but I'm worried that I'm going to make the wrong choice. If what I choose results in a c/s, I'm always going to wonder if I should have picked the other option. Like I said, voice of reason guy is on vacation this month.

[cymbeline]

Butting in from September: You can do it!!!

I am 4'9" and all my babies have been large. DD3 was 8lbs 8oz! This time, I am fully expecting a 9lb-er!

No matter what anyone says, your body is not going to grow a baby you can't birth. And it doesn't mean a horribly long, painful, dangerous labor either. My last labor with DD3 was only 2.5 hours! The painful part was at the very end when she put her hand up on top of her head and the mw had to massage it off -- it lasted maybe 10 minutes and as soon as she moved the hand I was pushing and it was over.

People want to assign all kinds of standards to birth, regarding size and time and pain, and all of them are invariably wrong, not because people are ignorant but because nature is flexible! I have known women 6'4" to give birth to tiny 6lb babies, and then there's me. My pregnancies are full of high-risk symptoms that have never borne out: first tri bleeding, false labor symptoms starting at 25wks, etc. I go full term and have healthy babies every time. You will too.

Hang in there, mama! You are doing great! Big hugs!!!!!!!

[Coconut Chronicles]

Originally Posted by cymbeline

No matter what anyone says, your body is not going to grow a baby you can't birth. And it doesn't mean a horribly long, painful, dangerous labor either.

:

[Mamatoabunch]

I agree w/ all these mamas. If, if, if he is a certain weight. Well that is the thing, if. What you think you know can scare you and what you don't know you can always sail through. My last was over 10lbs and face up, more than a pound bigger than any of my others, yet she came out just fine. I did not know until after birth she was posterior and knew she was big, but no idea over 10lbs.

[sky_and_lavender]

Everyone else has already said what you need to hear and remember, but I wanted to say I'm sorry you're going through the stress of this. If it were me, I like to think I would just trust my body, the baby and [God/universe/nature/whatever you want to call it]. But I know it's not easy to do when you're in the situation.

[slimkins]

My sister is maybe 5'4" and definitely of petite frame and her boy was 10lbs8ozs. He took a little more work than her daughter, but she got him out without any complications. Not sure if that will help you or not, just thought I would give you a positive "petite" mama- "big" baby scenario.

Hang in there!!

[akwifeandmomma]

Not in your DDC, but just wanted to encourage you a bit.

My biggest babe was born at 38w,5d - 9#,1oz.
Smallest babe was born at 42 weeks - 8#5, oz.

Positive thoughts. Your body is fully equipped to birth any babies you grow.

[SUOMI-SOFIA]

You'll be perfectly fine...your body won't give you a baby that you can't handle & maybe baby is long & thin & not necessarily large...you never know...you could have a gorgeous 7 pounder at 41 weeks, seriously...trust your body...don't fret & get any fight or flight cortisol going...

[redpajama]

The fact that you're short doesn't mean you can't give birth to a big-or-biggish baby. It does, however, suggest to me that the same baby in your 4'11 frame might *feel* much bigger than it would, say, in my 5'10 frame. While I don't mean to discredit your midwives--and of course I have no way of having any idea how big-or-not your baby is--they cannot feel the baby without feeling it in the context of your small frame, and I have to think that makes the baby *feel* bigger than it is.

When I was pregnant with my daughter, my midwife (at the time) made a guess, based on palpation, of "seven-and-a-half." Lucie weighed 10 pounds, 7 ounces. My current midwife has told me repeatedly that she does *not* think this baby is big. And maybe it's not. Personally, I suspect it will be in the same size-range as its older brother and sister (9.1 at 40+3 weeks and 10.7 at 42 weeks), depending on when it is born.

Anyway, my point is that, while midwives often develop excellent skills in palpation and can become relatively accurate at guessing babies' sizes on the basis of such, it is *still* just that--a guess. I apprentice with the midwife who is attending my birth, and I have seen her estimate big babies to be small, and small babies to be big...and I've seen her be right-on. It's an art, not a science, and sometimes it is misleading--particularly, I think, when a woman's frame is not "average," in one way or another.

All that said, you *could* be having a big baby! Like you said, there is no reason to suspect that any sort of pathology has led you to grow such a baby--you're healthy, your weight gain has been low, et cetera. So if you've grown a big baby, odds are you won't have any trouble giving birth to that baby.

[HappyMommaBear]

I do feel for you. But keep in mind, height doesn't have a lot to do with it. Being short makes pregnancy more uncomfortable, but it just doesn't factor in (or at least not much) when you're giving birth. Wide hips are helpful, but even skinny hipped women can deliver big babies. (and 8 lbs certainly isn't huge!)
Your pelvis will spread and you will stretch to accomidate your baby. You'll do just fine! Just stay upright as much as you can, and follow your midwife's guidance to find the best position to open the pelvis. You can do this!

[wavybrains]

I'm not in your group either, but I couldn't help but adding in here. DD was estimated 8lbs at 38ish weeks too, and everyone told me to expect a BIG baby, but she was 8lb, 1 oz at 42 weeks (over a month later!). FWIW, though, I think big baby fears got into my head and messed with me in that last month. As much as you can, let it go and try to embrace it.

For inspiration, my mother is five foot even and she birthed:
9.5 lbs at 44 weeks (me)
10 lbs at 43 weeks (Bro)
10.5 lbs at 42 weeks (Bro 2).

All natural labors, all uncomplicated deliveries. With Bro2, the doctor and nurses told her how awesome it was that she didn't have pain meds or induction b/c it enabled her to move around like she needed to get him out.

[Mamabeakley]

I'm no help on the big baby front as mine come early and are therefore smallish. However, did want to give you a and remind you of the . . . ahem . . . natural source of prostaglandins . . . which got baby in there . . . sperm!

[mama*pisces]

I haven't posted cuz I haven't really known what to say but I wanted to give you a . And I totally agree with Mamabeakley.

[_betsy_]

Not in your DDC, but I also wanted to suggest that maybe an average sized baby just FEELS very large to them because you yourself are so small. Plus, if you haven't gained much weight, you probably feel like "all baby," you know?