Need rec's: HB HW for Mom (Pushed?)

[vegasgrl]

Hi all. My mom has come around and decided she wants to be at my HB, and promises not to call 911. But I told her she's not allowed to come unless she prepares a little bit. She's a teacher so she laughed and said "Homework! Yay!"

I'm sending her TBOBB today. I also want to send a book. I was going to send Your Best Birth, but I don't think it's quite what I'm looking for - it's more for me, kwim?

So I'm wondering about Pushed - that's what I have in my Amazon cart at the moment, but I've never read it. Is Pushed a good "This is why your daughter wants to have a HB and why it will be okay" book? Do you have another, better book for a grandma-to-be? (I wouldn't at all call her a support person. God love her, but the woman drives me up a wall sometimes. )

[GoldmanBaby09]

Pushed is a really great book addressing what is wrong with the maternal care system in this country. I wouldn't say that it is the best choice for trying to convince her that homebirth is safe. It seemed like the book focused more on VBACs than homebirth. I really liked Immaculate Deception II by Suzanne Arms or Gentle Birth Choices by Barbara Harper. Both authors are pretty big homebirth proponents. And even though you would classify your mom as a "birth attendant", I would highly suggest The Birth Partner by Penny Simpkin. That discusses what things go on in both home and hospital births and gives her some ideas on how she can help you. If she is going to be there, at least keep her busy trying to make you comfortable! Good luck!

[kcparker]

You could also send her Ina May's Guide to Childbirth, by Ina May Gaskin, or maybe just photocopy some good birth stories and some relevant parts of the second half, which is more about the mind-body connection, normal birth, interventions, etc.

[sky_and_lavender]

I watched BOBB with my mom at the beginning of my pregnancy. She had had babies in hospitals and not particularly good experiences. Right after we watched BOBB she was skeptical, saying, "well, they only show one side..." But I think the footage of actual homebirths was normalizing, at least.

Then I spent a lot of time talking with her (not pointedly, but just in passing) about my midwife and birth plan. Originally she had said there was no way she wanted to be present, so I wasn't trying to change her mind. But eventually she said she was sad she wouldn't be there, because she was sure it would be an amazing experience.

(Unfortunately, we'd already made our plans by then, and they didn't include her... and I still wasn't confident that her "issues" wouldn't rub off on me during my birthing time.)

I think the idea of sending her birth stories from Ina May books, or even printing out online birth stories you like, including a couple that show how difficult situations are handled as well as some more "ideal" births.

[billikengirl]

How about Born in the USA by Marsden Wagner? You know, because he's a DOCTOR. Like "Pushed" I call it protest literature. Between the two I'd recommend Born in the USA for your purpose. Plenty of stats. And if just research is what she needs to see, send something by Henci Goer.

Ina May might be good too if your mom won't be put off by all the pictures of long haired hippies.

Something by Sheila Kitzinger could work.

Some parts of The Birth Partner annoyed me with the "your doctor may decide to" or "your doctor may require" blah blah blah that (hopefully) isn't really applicable for a home birth. Overall not a bad read, I'm easily annoyed lately.

[donutmolly]

Ina May's Guide was the book that convinced my very medically-minded but natural birth oriented mom that I wasn't crazy for having a hb. The birth stories are great and the info about how birth works and how most hospitals get in the way is super clear and convincing.

[jess152]

I really liked Pushed and have lent it to countless friends. It's one of those books I think every first-time pregnant woman should read. I think I would have avoided my unnecesarean had I read it 3 years ago! Hindsight... In any case, I've lent it to my mom and she could only get through the first two chapters. She's not a supporter of my homebirth right now and I don't expect it to change. I was really surprised she didn't give the book a proper chance though.

If your mom is a teacher, she'd probably like The Thinking Woman's Guide to a Better Birth, Henci Goer. It's pretty dry and fact-laden, but puts it all out there for you to draw your own conclusions. It's pretty straightforward in how the most common interventions in hospital lead to adverse effects on labouring women.