how do deal with a 3 y.o. who listens to nothing

[jewelsJZ]

Not. a. single. thing. We try to keep requests to a minimum because we know dd will refuse or ignore us, even if it is something she wants or is to her benefit, but what do you do when you need them to listen for safety reasons or just so you get a single thing done in a day?

[buttercups.nest]

What happens when she doesn't listen to you?

[Juvysen]

:

my 3 year old has been doing a lot of ignoring, too. After a couple times saying what I am trying to say, I'll clap my hands loudly and say "can anyone hear me???" and usually she'll turn with a stunned look on her face and ask "what?" *sigh*

[jewelsJZ]

Originally Posted by buttercups.nest

What happens when she doesn't listen to you?

Do you mean how do we respond? Well, it depends what it is. If I ask her to get dressed and she refuses, I just let it go, unless I'm actually ready to walk out the door. If it's stop laying on your baby brother, I physically pick her up and remove her.
We've tried giving choices, being firm, being relaxed, distracting her, and even, I am sorry to say, yelling and time outs. Nothing has worked so far and dh and I are really stressed and out of patience.

[thixle]

Everything you are doing. Lather. Rinse. Repeat. IMO, 3 is a horrible age for kids-- it's like Puberty, vol. I
Wait til they turn 4, that's what I did :

Seriously, though, we just started a sticker chart 3 weeks ago (DD turned 4 last weekend). OMG, I can't believe it works! She has Morning (breakfast, brush hair, brush teeth, get dressed, feed & water cats), Afternoon (pick up toys, fold & put away laundry, eat a healthy snack, read a book and put them away), and Evening (eat dinner, pick up toys, take a bath, brush hair, brush teeth).

Do the job, get a sticker. The end. "Honey, ready to get your stickers? What else do you need to do today?" Tuesday, on her own, she asked if she could make check marks! Hurray! She gets it that it's not a REWARD, it's to show her what she has accomplished and what she left to do. My cheeky, independent kiddo wants to do everything herself, but her mind goes so fast she forgets, or goes off on some other pursuit. These are the non-negotiable things in our home now. Everyone is having a blast with it.

You just might have to wait she is developed more, though. Three just seems to be that way for most parents I've spoken with :

[Juvysen]

Yeah... holding out for 4 has been my main defense mechanism but then 2 months after she turns 4, I'll have a newborn, and 4 months after that, my son turns 3... *sigh* gonna be a long few years...

[ledzepplon]

I just wanted to chime in with the "wait it out" mamas. Three was a hugely frustrating age for us with ds1, but he's MUCH easier even at 3.5. I think there's a developmental thing going on for a lot of kids that age. My best strategies were distraction, games, and trying to keep calm when he wasn't.

[mom2grrls]

So is there an actual hearing problem or she's just choosing to not what's asked? When my kids were that age I would go to them, touch them on the body somewhere and make sure their face was looking at me. I'd say whatever I wanted to and that way I knew the statement was heard. Then if nothing got going i'd say something like "it looks like you need help" and move them toward what I wanted them to do. I'd read up on what is age appropriate for 3(Louise Bates Ames has good books on this) and realize it does get better toward 5. http://wikiparenting.parentsconnect....scipline_Ideas This is a good website for ideas and a couple books I like for this age is Kids Are Worth It by Barbara Coloroso and Easy to Love, Difficult to Discipline by Becky Bailey.