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I lost my child today. I am the worst mother ever!

post #1 of 61
Thread Starter 
I am just sick. Today we were at my older daughter's cheerleading jamboree. at the local high school football stadium. I was on the field taking pictures. My husband decided to go find us a seat. He thought our 3 year old was still with me. I thought she went with him. She did follow him but never saw him sit down. From what she told me, she was walking around lcrying looking for him. A police officer and his wife spotted her and had them to call over the speaker that a little girl in a pink shirt was lost. It never registered with me or dh that it could be our child. We each thought the other one had her. They finally announced her name over the speaker. I could have vomitted. Poor little baby was scared to death. Besides the trauma of losing my child, I am terribly embarrassed that I could have done this. So now I imagine everyone thinks that I am the irresponsible mother who can't keep up with her 4 kids.

I have promised our little one that dh and I will communicate better in the future so this won't happen again. She said, "It's ok mommy, the police officer was nice. He didn't shoot me."

So I get the Worst Mother of the Day Award.

Please be gentle with me, I am already beating myself up.
post #2 of 61
Forgive yourself -- you've got a plan for it to not happen again.

Even the New Testament has a similar story, so you know it's been happening to families for ages! You are not the worst mother ever.
post #3 of 61

I can totally imagne that happening to DH and Me.
post #4 of 61
That is TOTALLY something that I would do and something that can (and does) happen to lots of people, not that it makes it any less horrible and scary when it happens to you. Try to forgive yourself.

The reason you are as upset as you are is because you are a GREAT mother.
post #5 of 61
Originally Posted by baglady View Post
That is TOTALLY something that I would do and something that can (and does) happen to lots of people, not that it makes it any less horrible and scary when it happens to you. Try to forgive yourself.

The reason you are as upset as you are is because you are a GREAT mother.

post #6 of 61
You're a fine mother. It does happen and you know what? The world is actually a good place most of the time and it all turns out okay. Like today.

Also, given the state of clothing today, announcing she was in pink was not helpful. :-)
post #7 of 61
When people heard your name being announced, i can almost guarantee you they were NOT thinking "oh what a horrible mother how could she lose her child??" but rather thinking about the time THEY lost their child, or when they almost did, or being so glad that didnt happen to them (but totally recognizing that it *could*)....we've all been there, or will be there....its so so scary when it happens to you.
post #8 of 61
My little girl got lost today, too.

We were at a congregation event today, everyone in their dress clothes. At lunch, dh brought the 2 older kids (9 and 7) to the lunch room to meet me (I had the baby). I asked him where dd (7 yrs) was and he thought she was right behind him! I went to look for her (small room) and as I was exiting the lunch room she was coming in. Tears in her eyes, running down her cheeks, etc.

Dh felt awful!! Dd was ok, just scared. She didn't see him turn left, so she kept going straight and when she didn't see him, she headed back to the lunch room. We knew probably 1/3 of the ppl there, but dd doesn't know them all (some we've known since before she was born and we don't live in the same area anymore), so she didn't realize she could approach someone for help.

I'm glad your girl was ok!! You're not a bad mom.
post #9 of 61
Thread Starter 
Thank you everyone for the support. It means alot.

HarperRose- Sorry your dd got lost too! I am glad both of our girls are safe tonight.
post #10 of 61
It sounds like it was a rough day for all three of you- I am so sorry that y'all went through that. And of course you're not a bad mom!!! Something like that could happen to ANYONE!

Actually, that did happen to my neice at Disney World this past November. They were going on Thunder Mtn Railroad..... my sis thought she was staying off the ride with grandma.... grandma thought she went on the ride with my sis...... Scary all around.
post #11 of 61
I can't think of a single parent who hasn't lost track of their child at some point. It happens. It doesn't make you a bad mom it just makes you human. The important parts are that she is safe and that you and your Dh have devised a plan to keep it from happening again.
post #12 of 61
I've lost three of mine (the fourth is only 7 weeks old) at least once. The first time was exactly what you describe. We each thought the other had him. By the time we realized that wasn't the case, he'd wandered out of the campsite...and started an independent tour of a 200+ site campground. Scary.

DD1 slipped out the patio gate, when ds1 didn't latch it behind him, and dh and I both thought he had, so we let her out. Scary, too.

DS2 just opened the door and left while I was upstairs one morning. He wasn't gone that long, but it was terrifying to realize he could leave while I was asleep (I wans't that time).

Our friend's youngest son once wandered off at the World Expo. That was pretty freaky, too.
Kids get lost. It's happened to every parent I know.
post #13 of 61
Awww- it happens to the best of us. My little one is only 14 months and i havent lost her yet but i am sure that day will come. Especially the way she runs

Heck i can remember my mum loosing me a couple of times.
post #14 of 61
Hmmm...DH and I went to a massive reunion last month. It was an outside picnic with folks that had graduated from this school from anytime in the past 50 years, so LOTS of people everywhere. I gave him the baby and made it CLEAR he 'had' her, and I didn't. I went to go reconnect with friends, and about 30 minutes later wandered back to DH.

He didn't have the baby.

He thought I had come and scooped her up, I (of course) thought he had her. We were FRANTIC looking everywhere. There's a lake RIGHT by all of this picnic area and I was hysterical thinking she'd fallen in or been stolen. I'm walking up and down aisles of tables sweeping the ground with my eyes, looking for her walking around or under a table. I walked past this picnic table (there were about 100 tables in rows of about 10) and I hear this woman's voice say "Can you imagine, there's no one even LOOKING for you, you poor dear"

I spun around and she was holding my baby!! I said OH YES I AM! And scooped her up right away, the lady wagged her finger at me and said something about me having more common sense than to let a baby wander around for 15 minutes by herself!

Ummm. right, because that's what I do. Just let her wander off. OMG!

The rest of the afternoon she was giving me and DH weird looks. Ugh! I felt like the WORST mother EVER! And it wasn't even my fault!!

DH ended up getting her backpack and wearing her for the rest of the picnic. We were both MUCH happier

Anyways, just wanted you to know it happens to everyone. I'm glad it all ended well!

post #15 of 61
Aww don't feel bad, she's safe and we've all done it.
I lost Ds#2 one day in the front yard (18mths old)! We have it all fenced in, and the phone rang, I ran in and was looking out the kitchen window and looking at this toddler across the street playing on the building site of the house being built. He sqeezed between the gate and the fence post.
I thought "Wow look at that little kid, what kind of parent lets a little one play on a building site" Then It dawned on me, I screamed and dropped the phone, scared the crap out of my Mom who was 5000 miles away on the other end.
He was fine, we called Mom back to let her know, no one was injured.
post #16 of 61
DS1 is tall for his age and had zero difficulty reaching and unlocking the deadbolt on our front door. One morning, he got up way early while DS2 and I were still sleeping, and just LEFT. DH (works nights) came home a little after 6:00 a.m. and peeped into the kids' rooms like always, and DS1 was just gone. I was awaken by our bedroom door flying open with a crash and DH frantically asking me if DS1 was in bed with me. DH called the cops, and as it turns out, a couple of police officers out on patrol had already found him half a mile from our house! From what I gather from what DS1 and the cops told me when they brought him home, DS1 was too shy to talk, so one cop gave him a ride on his shoulders and they went door to door trying to figure out where the heck this kid came from. I was SO freaked out.

It happens, mama. It really does.
post #17 of 61
Don't be so hard on yourself! Losing kids happens, unfortunately. DP and I haven't been through it yet (knock on wood!) but DD is only 8mo, so we have plenty of time lol.

I got lost when I was little. On vacation at Universal Studios in California. I was on a maze with one of my brothers and a cousin, they ended up going too far ahead of me. I went out of a different exit than they did, and couldn't find my family. I found me a security guard, he took me to lost and found, and they made an announcement. It was pretty scary, but I got over it.

post #18 of 61
Hey, if you read the Bible, the same thing happened to Mary and Joseph when they took Jesus to the temple.

If the Blessed Virgin Mary can lose her son (she thought Joseph had him, Joseph thought she had him and they traveled for DAYS), and still be considered a saint, I think you're OK.
post #19 of 61
Awww, you'd have to do a lot more to be the worst mother of the day (or hour for that matter). I think this happens to everyone at least once when raising a child. It's terribly scary, but everything worked out.

When SIL was little, DH's family lost her in a CASINO in Las Vegas. What was awesome? After they found her, they found Aunt J playing slots instead of looking for her. Good times, huh?
post #20 of 61
Big hugs to you! When I read the title I thought your baby died. What a relief. Still I am sure that I would be sick over the whole thing and crying for days anyways.
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