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I lost my child today. I am the worst mother ever! - Page 3

post #41 of 61
Quote:
Originally Posted by A&A View Post
My parents left me at church one Sunday when I was about 4 because they had driven separately and both thought the other one was taking me home.

)

I used to work with a youth group and we left an 11 year old at the Mall of America because we each thought the other van had him....we noticed 3 hours later...
post #42 of 61
Poor mama. This is every mom's worst nightmare and I'm pretty sure it happens to most of us at some point. Don't be too hard on yourself. Just be glad it all worked out okay!!
post #43 of 61
It does happen all the time! You are not a bad mother!!

Whenever we are going somewhere crowded I make my kids carry a little piece of paper ( about ID sized) with all of my info on it. I don't know why, but it makes me feel better. If I thought they would be able to find a pay phone in this day and age I would attach a quarter to it.

Also, my mom had to put little kiddie proof door knobs on our doors when I was a kid b/c my brother was an escape artist..

It happens mama. Don't beat yourself up.
post #44 of 61
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mandynee22 View Post
It happens to LOTS of people. Did the police officer threaten to call social services? I would imagine not, and that's because it happens all. the. time.
Just be glad you didn't think you lost your LO at home, called the police, gone out and searched and then found out LO fell asleep in the toy box (which has happened to a GF of mine and is WAY more embarrassing).
I had a neighbour once who almost went crazy searching the neighbourhood for her dd and a child she was babysitting. She searched for about 10-15 minutes, calling and looking everywhere she could think of. Then, she went home to call the police, and her dd and the other girl were under a dresser "playing hide and seek" with her.


And, that reminds me of this:

One day, a man called an absent employee at home, and a young voice answered.

"Is your father home?"

"Yes."

"May be I speak with him?"

"He's busy." (The boss was annoyed by this.)

"May I speak to your mother?"

"She's busy, too."

"Oh. Is anybody else there?"

"Yes - the police."

"Can I speak to them?"

"They're busy."

"Oh. Is anybody else there?"

"The firemen."

"Can I speak to them?"

"They're busy."

"So let me get this straight -- your parents, the police, and the firemen are there, but they're all busy? What are they doing?"

With a giggle, the voice answered, "looking for me."


post #45 of 61
Quote:
Originally Posted by leighi123 View Post
Do you have a plan that you tell your kids to follow if they get lost?
DS is just now getting old enough that we have to start worrying about this, but as an early childhood teacher, I always teach my kids what to do if they get lost on a field trip. I tell them to sit down exactly where they are and not to move until I come get them. I've never lost anyone on a field trip, but it wouldn't take me long to realize if I had because I'm doing constant head counts and if a child has sat down and waited for me, I know to retrace our steps and I'll find him/her. I also teach them not to go with an adult who offers help. But if the grown up wants to wait there with them, that's okay. The other thing I do (for field trips, I wouldn't do this with my own child on family outings) is put the school's phone number on the back and make sure the school has my cell phone number... So if an adult does want to help, the child can tell them to call the number on their back. So the grown up calls the school and the school calls me and I know where to find the child.
post #46 of 61
Just this past Wednesday we had company over for a bbq and to play Rock Band.
I had just gotten home from work and DP was in the house with DS while DD's and i picked some green beans from the garden and I came in and was washing them and cutting them up to cook. We have the living room and kitchen divided with a sheet to keep the living room cool with the air cond. Well everyone else was in the LR and front yard when my two oldest DD's came running in the house yelling that DS had run down the street and crossed it and the neighbors were calling the police. I started screaming for DP and he ran and got him. Police came and didn't take a report said it happens all the time and to be more careful. The same neighbors called CPS on us and we got a visit on friday because we were being "negletful". I still have to contact the worker Monday because I was at work when they came and looked around the house and talked to the kids. I feel like the worlds worse mother... even though I know it was no ones fault, DS is FAST! And now we have to deal with this. It's hard... so, I can comiserate. Be thankful your LO is ok... I know that is what I am most thankful for in regaurds to my situation.
(((hugs)))
post #47 of 61
I have had to close down Disney more than once. Pkease don't be too hard on yourself.. Those little buggers wander off no matter how closely you think you are wathcing them ( well one cas it was mu siter in charge... so no mom is perfect NONE
post #48 of 61
I remember getting lost from my grandma in Kmart when I was maybe sixish and my sister a year younger. I had thought she said she'd be by the carts, so I looked there really fast, then the cards (which, really, was what she said). Then I dragged my sister to the service desk, checking each cashout line on the way. We told the lady we lost our grandma, and they paged her.

Happens to everyone! Sounds like you did a good job teaching your little one what to do if she gets lost.
post #49 of 61
It's happened to all of us, and if it hasn't it will I lost DD1 at the library when DD2 was a newborn.

My dad left me at the laundromat on purpose when I was 5, so I really think alot of people do alot worse.
post #50 of 61
Quote:
Originally Posted by queenjane View Post
When people heard your name being announced, i can almost guarantee you they were NOT thinking "oh what a horrible mother how could she lose her child??" but rather thinking about the time THEY lost their child, or when they almost did, or being so glad that didnt happen to them (but totally recognizing that it *could*)....we've all been there, or will be there....its so so scary when it happens to you.
I totally agree. when I hear those announcements I get weepy and am glad a happy ending is on it's way.

I lost my DS right in front of my eyes. we were staying in a hotel and the kids were having fun getting ice and brining it to the room. Back and forth I watched them and only when they were at the the machine were they out of my view. Then would turn the corner and come back with the bucket.
Now I knew I saw them coming back together but then *poof* DS was gone. We walked the balcony, I ran down to the pool to ask others to look for him, I was panicky and was afraid he'd walk off the property into a highway. DD had no idea where he went even though they were together.
We called his name over and over.
Finally DH pulled back the curtain in our room and there he was HIDING! He thought it was funny and since he was only 3 there wasn't much to do except cry and hold him and laugh and say to NEVER do that again!
post #51 of 61
It happens to the best of us.
post #52 of 61
It's happened to me too, only I knew she was lost and it was terrifying. I still feel bad, so I kinda know how you must feel, but it happens a lot so give yourself a break
post #53 of 61
I just did it today......
post #54 of 61
Happened to DH, DS, and me at a crowded culinary festival a few years ago when DS was 3.5. I thought he was right behind DH, DH thought he was right behind me . ... .We briefly panicked, but found him sitting and looking very forlorn by a sign in the midst of the festival. Thank goodness he was ok.



It'll make a good story in a few years. For the moment, give yourself a break.
post #55 of 61
When I was a little girl, my quite AP and hands-on mother managed to loose both her daughters at once. I was about 5-6, my sister 3 or 4. It was during a sort of city festival (not in our hometown), and there were crowds of people everywhere. My dad was performing with his choir, and we both left mum to crawl under people's legs to dad. My sister did the clever thing and started crying, so an old lady took her to a passing police officer, who brought her up a stage (where politicians were giving speaches), and my uncle and my dad both spotted her. I knew that we were going to an open house at friends of my parents in the opposite end of town, and although we hadn't been in town for a year, I decided to find my way there. I had no idea what their address was and I couldn't read, but I convinced myself that my pasrents would be there. I got there, there were loads of people, I saw nobody I knew and of course my parents weren't there (I asked around) so I walked back into town to where I'd lost them. Then I walked back to the open house. By that time my parents had been there looking for me and someone told me to stay and wait for them to come back.

It happens. Don't beat yourself up. I still haven't lost DD, but I'm sure that'll come as she gets more independent. And I'm sure that I'll feel horrible when that day comes.
post #56 of 61
I have a close friend that lost her preschooler. She's not a bad parent, her daughter was just very quick.

post #57 of 61
Quote:
Originally Posted by pauletoy View Post
She said, "It's ok mommy, the police officer was nice. He didn't shoot me."
Oh that is funny! Mama please don't feel badly! I lost my LO once too and it scared the crap outta me! I felt awful for so long. Just be glad she is ok and safe, that is main thing.
post #58 of 61

      It takes a lot of courage to post that publicly, so I really respect you for that. smile.gif

It happens to everyone, it's a common mistake to think that they followed someone else. I mean she did follow her father, she just got lost while doing it. You're not the worst mother. It was a mistake, you recognized what happened, knew it shouldn't have happened and felt bad that it did. Bad mothers aren't aware what they're doing is wrong and don't feel bad for doing it. Just posting this shows you have a big heart and really care for your kids' safety and well-being.smile.gif Your girl is so funny! "It's ok he was nice, he didn't shoot me." I had to laugh at that! Glad everyone is ok and back together!!

post #59 of 61

I not only have lost my son but I lost him at a water park. We were there for a company picnic. We had the baby and my 3 year old son. My husband threw out his back. He walked over to a chair and I turned around to hand him the baby. In that few seconds my 3 year old wondered away. I started looking and just as I started to really panic a call came over the loudspeaker for my husband. My son had evidently headed to the entrance and was leaving the park when an employee stopped him. When asked his name he proudly recited it and since we were on a list for admission for the company party they found my husband by the Last name on the list.

 

Sadly enough that was not the only time I have lost my son. Though most of the other times have been at least part the stupid bus company that serves his schools fault. The most recent was because his bus stop got changed. I knew that the new stop was unacceptable (across a major busy road) and had planned to call the school and get it changed and simply forgot. The bus driver dropped him at the new stop and my son got lost trying to walk home. Realized he was lost and retraced his steps. He was 8 this time.

 

He's getting a cell phone for his 9th birthday is 2 weeks to hopefully reduce the occurrences of loosing my child.

 

My parents have stories of loosing both my brothers and I. My grandmother has stories of loosing at least one of my uncles. It happens to the best of us.

post #60 of 61

I think everyone loses their kid at least once. My son is 10 and goes to his friends houses by himself, and we still managed to have a scare last week! He was playing on the school play ground while I went in to talk to my daughter's teacher and when I got back he was gone. I asked the kids that were there, and one of them told me they saw him walking away with a man dressed all in black. My blood ran cold. I started to b-line it to the office, but before I got there another kid came running up and told me they just saw him go into the school. The 'man in black' was one of the teachers... the teacher is a hockey fan and his daughter attends the school, and when DS showed the girl the hockey cards he just got from his birth dad she wanted her dad to see them because it was all players from years ago, she went and got her dad and they all went back into the school.

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