UC Support Thread II

[cottonwood]

A few people have mentioned that the original thread was getting a bit long and cumbersome, and I agree. So here you go! Just to start us off, I have a couple of questions: who is pregnant and planning an unassisted birth, and what are your reasons for it?

Linda

[ChildoftheMoon]

I am due mid-July. I am not sure exactly in words, why. It has just been a feeling that started growing after the birth of dd2 that I would birth uc. I still have some uncertainties but feel it is the right thing. I think I will feel the excitement once my belly grows a bit more. I think I am just in a funk right now. We just moved and we are a bit more isolated, I just need to get out more

Thank you for starting a new thread blueviolet

Brandi

[citizenfong]

I am pregnant and due March 5, planning my first UC, second birth.

My main reason to UC at this point is that I have come to believe that a well educated (about birth), healthy woman is likely to be safer at home without intervention than anywhere else with intervention. I have nothing against midwives or people who hire them, please understand. I just don't think that's what I need this pregnancy.

I also believe that I am too compliant a patient to have the birth I want if I am "attended". Too, I believe in transfer if it is necessary. I just don't think there are a whole lot of reasons that come under the heading "necessary" for me.

On another note, though I am getting nervous about experiencing the intensity (who'm I kidding? pain!) of labor again, I am SO excited about this birth and the way we're going to do it!

[indigolilybear]

good idea, BV.

I am planning our third homebirth, second freebirth/lotus birth. Reasons? well, I guess I simply feel there are inherent "risks" to any birth and chose to take the ones taht freebirthing brings w/it! :LOL. I truly believe that our body/intuition/baby have a supreme guidance to offer during birthing that easily gets tossed aside or doesn't register at all w/there are people that register as "experts". I am, as citizenfong mentioned, a very compliant patient and don't feel this served me during dd's birth (our assisted HB)

Really, I have always felt drawn to it since I read Jeannine Parvati Baker's essay on it when preg. w/dd.....dh too....but didn't feel ready.

So, that's it for me. Oh yes, and we're due early spring. And I am guessing boy.

[Milkymommi]

Well hello everone!

I'm not sure how I'll fit here but here it goes...

One of my best friends is planning her first UC, 3rd baby.She's going stright from hospital births to UC and I'm very excited for her!

Her and her dh have asked me to attend as I'm a Doula and they know that I have attended my share of births and am supportive of Homebirth/UC etc... I know that die hard UCers may not consider this true UC but I do and they do also.I won't be there to interupt or take over, just to support.I'm more there as family not as a professional.Her and my dh have known eachother since cloth diapers!Besides this is a passion of mine,I Doula as a free service to moms- I never charge.

I'd like to hang around here and learn from you all.This will be my 1st UC experience.They are depending on me heavily along with getting informed themselves and I want to do the best I can. I hope I can be part of you here

[cottonwood]

Welcome to our little corner of MDC, Kristie. I think that for most people planning UC, "unassisted birth" is a bit of a misnomer, because what they really mean is birth unassisted by a medically trained professional, not necessarily literally unassisted. Many UCers actually do prefer assistance of some kind -- they might have the husband acting as midwife, for instance, or they might have female friends around for emotional support. One person's UC can look very different from another's. As I see it, then, this is basically a support thread that is for anyone whose plans fall outside of doctor or midwife-attended birth. "UC" may not be the most accurate label for all of us, but has out of convention become the one that is most convenient for us to use to identify ourselves to each other.

For myself, the reason that I have and will in the future birth UC, is that biologically ideal birth (which confers many benefits to the mother and baby) can only happen under certain conditions, those in which spontaneous, instinctive labor and birth can occur. These conditions are going to vary from person to person. But generally, I see assistance of any kind, as well as the feeling of being observed, as being an interference to the normal process.

Which answers part of the OP question. My answer to the other part is that, yes, I am almost certain that I am pregnant this time. I could of course, still miscarry at some point since it is still early (4 weeks I think,) or I could just be having a very strange PMS that is lingering on and on and mimics pregnancy perfectly, or I suppose I could be entering early menopause. :LOL But intuitively I really feel that I am indeed pregnant. Got all the signs. Except for the little pink lines. I am really interested, this time around, on seeing what it feels like to discover the pregnancy gradually, as women have done for millenia.

[indigolilybear]

Yay!! BV!! I hope you are! I had planned to wait like you w/this preg. to see "naturally" and gradually...but ended up w/a weird bump in my groin area that they wanted to check out via surgery til I told them they'd better test me for preg. since we had "tried" that month! LOL. So I was hoping to go through the experience you are describing, BV. I'll have to live it through you this time. When would you expect to deliver then? Fall?

well, happy gradual awakening to your future child's presence or not.....

[madrone]

I'm due August 2 and am planning a UC because there are no midwives who do homebirths around here. My DH is really not supportive of the idea right now. But he did suggest a UC when I was in labor with DS, so maybe he will become more supportive later. He's kind of stubborn though.

[ChildoftheMoon]

congrats blueviolet! I admire your patience. This babe we tried for and I was so anxious to know right away. It is an experience I would love to have some day.

I must say I am honored to be among such strong women. It is such a breath of fresh air to hear your attitudes about birth. Even though mothering is very different and off the mainstream, I feel myself biting my tongue when it comes to discussing birth here. I feel a woman is better left alone to follow her natural path to meeting her babe. Though, I too am more compliant when under the influence of care. I did have a blissful homebirth last time, with a mw-who didn't do much beyond observing. I was pretty oblivious to her as she arrived during the last hour of an intense four hour labor. As I did not feel hindered by her last time, I feel like I will be this time. Last time I was in such a primal and spiritual state by the time she arrived. But now this time I have had such a tumultuous year last year with death in the family, I have been feeling further away from the primal and spiritual. I need to find my way back. This in part makes me want to be alone, I need it. Birth has been an awakening for me all along, and I am eager to take the next step. I sure hope I don't sound like a loon.:LOL As I read back I sound so serious, but I guess I just have so much in my brain right now. Pregnancy is bringing out such strong dreams, I feel so heavy in the morning. Thanks for bearing with me, wise women.
Brandi

[Milkymommi]

Well thanks for the welcome and now I feel like I can let my hair down !

[majazama]

I've finally found this new thread. I'm glad I'm here to hear all the wonderful UC birth-stories, and advice from experienced moms.

I'm planning on birthing my second with my mom, partner, and 19 (at that time) month old present. I hope that it will be safe, quick and easy:

My first baby was born with a MW in attendance, and I don't feel like she helped at all, more of a hinderance. And just like you, Childofthemoon, she came in at the very end of the labour, right when I was "getting close". As soon as she came, she brought with her and air of EMERGENCY WAITING TO HAPPEN.... it's their protocol to phone the hospital before I started pushing, and she ended up getting me out of the kiddy-pool, where I wanted to be for the birth, and I gave birth on the couch in a semi-recining position Needless to say, it's hard to assert yourself when you are in that state!

O.K. I'll stop venting now, but I feel as though you ladies really know what I mean.

I'm due in July, just like you as well childofthemoon.
I'm looking forward to showing off my huge belly in the summer time, cause last time my baby was born in december!

[artemesia]

Hmmm, there are so many factors that went into my decision to UC, hard to sort them all out. A big reason was Dd's birth which started out at a birth center with a midwife I trusted (and turns out I shouldn't have) and ended up with a transport to the hospital and a c-section that I later found out was not necessary. At the time I was never told I was even going for a c-section, much less why. So there are lots of trust issues for me with a birth attendant, and quite frankly that would really interfere in the birth process for me if I had a midwife. Also, having had a c-section really narrowed my birth options around here. So that is some of the background leading to my decision. But I think what got me going down this path was reading the UC birth stories on the internet. It was a revelation to me, I had no idea that there were people who embraced such a beautiful, spiritual and healthy philosophy towards birth. Reading their stories made me examine my own attitudes towards birth and what I uncovered was a lot of fear and ignorance. I feel that making the decision to UC has opened me up in many ways and I have really grown. Lastly, I was really stressing about where and how this baby would be born, untill I made up my mind for UC. Then I felt completely at peace with this pregnancy and upcoming birth.

Blueviolet, I think that what you are doing is wonderful. Now in hindsight I wish I had been able to do that but I had no idea I was pregnant and just thought I was really sick or dying so I realy am glad in the end that I tested, lol.

[ChildoftheMoon]

Cool *mamajaza* it will be nice to have someone birthing around the same time!
Brandi

[wildthing]

Gosh I love this thread!

I haven't posted much because we have all been busy or sick. But this thread and question has really moved me.

My name is Donna, and I am expecting my 8th baby sometime in June. My first 3 babies were born in the hospital, my last 4 at home with a midwife. I have actually thought about a uc since I was pregnant with my 3rd baby, but I was afraid. Dh brought up uc several times with my last 4 pegnancies, but I chose to have my midwife there.
It was my last birth that changed my mind. There was too much interference from the mw. As many of you know, interference does not have to be a monitor strapped on, or breaking your water, or anything like that. It can be as simple as observing me, or telling me to try a different position that doesn't feel right. Interference can be talking during a contraction...anything that takes me away from my primal space is interfering.
I want to be alone this time. I am fine with dh being there, but if he isn't I am fine with that too. If my kids are sleeping, I won't wake them up. If they are awake, they can be there. As a natural part of my life, it doesn't feel like interference to me to have them around.
I believe that the only way I can get into myself and do what I need to, is to not have anyone else there. My biggest obstacle is that dh is now the one afraid of a uc because of how my last birth went. We have been talking, and I have told him that I know why things were hard, I knew it at the time, but couldn't verbalize it. I can post that story another time if anyone is interested

I loved reading the responses to this. So many have said the things that were also true for me.

[wildthing]

More to add...I forgot

The first person I knew IRL was a woman who had no insurance. This was about 15 years ago. I had thought the reason she had a uc was simply because she couldn' afford it. I found out later that insurance had little to do with it. This mother went on to have 6 children, all at home uc, her last pergnancy being twins. I have met many more mothers IRL to have their babies unhindered, as well as meeting many women on-line. To me, it is just seeming to be more and more logical all the time.

Blueviolet, I agree, I think it is wonderful to find out gradually. My mother never took a pregnancy test. I would have liked to have let nature truly take it's course, but the anxiety was more than I could stand. Sometimes, I love being in tune with my body, sometimes, I wish I wasn't quite as in tune. :LOL

The more i think about the naturalness of birth in and of itself, and the assault to women and babies in the hospital, the more I see the benefits and normalcy in staying home. The more I think about the intimate act of birth, being as intimate as making love, the more I see the need to keep it private.

Okay, I am a bit long-winded today, aren't I?

[thechrysalis]

I keep meaning to post about the scale - we have an infant/toddler scale that I ordered from One Step Ahead. It is the kind you lay baby on (like in the dr's office), then you can unscrew the pan part and use it as a step on scale for a toddler. It goes up to 44lbs I think.

Just wanted to brag also that my little moo is up to 11 lbs 9oz at 2 weeks! Gotta love breastmilk!

[bookwormmama]

I am so happy about this thread too!

I am just about 24 weeks along with #3, due sometime in late May or early June. I am very excited, and also just a tad bit impatient, lol. I want so badly to meet this wee one!

I birthed my dd in the hospital, w/ epidural and the whole nine, felt like someone just handed me a baby, not that i actually birthed her. My ds was born at home w/ a midwife, really great hands off midwife, who basically slept in the other room during my labor, but she was ~there~ and i felt watched, kwim?

I just really believe in my ability to birth, and want to be all alone. I have been such a hermit so far this pregnancy, i can just visualize myself giving birth solo. I was by myself in the hallway for most of my labor with ds.

so i guess that's it for now!

by the way, you've got quite a babe there chrysalis! and that scale sounds cool, where'd you say you got it?

edited to say, duh, one step ahead! i'm gonna check it out!

[pamamidwife]

blueviolet, do you have anything to share yet with the class?

heeheee!

ok, I'm outta here!


love you, L!

[Spark]

Hi, I'm Claire. I'm 34 weeks along with my second child. My first was born at home assisted by a fine midwife. On the last thread I called myself the UC mascot, because I am seeing a midwife and yet wanting a UC. I envision a birth peaceful and easy enough that we don't need to call on anyone. My husband is uncomfortable with a planned UC, despite giving him lots of information, time to discuss and viewing some good videos together. He said that if the midwife didn't make it in time, that would be fine and even nice, but he'd prefer if she was there for his nerves. I'm praying and visualizing the UC that I dream of. I've felt called to UC this child before I even knew I was pregnant with her. Why UC? Because, aren't the lucky moms the ones who deliver before the midwife arrives?!?!?! I always wanted to be one of those women -- to give birth unhindered, easily and quickly surrounded just by family.

I do struggle a bit knowing that I'm living this pregnancy in duality -- seeing a midwife and also wanting UC. I try to be open to the idea that this birth will be for the highest good whether attended or not. UC is what I want though and I'm not afraid to ask for it!

andrea88 -- Thank you so much for posting your birth story on our last thread. That was so beautiful and educational, too! She is a beauty! She looks so soulful! Sounds like you have a lot to add to our group here. Please, visit often!

Blueviolet -- How beautiful tuning into your body and heart. May it be for the highest good!

Thechrysalis -- NICE MILK! Sheesh, you could market that stuff! I bet all the athletes and body builders would want to buy from you!!!

Love this thread! Love all the women who post and visit!

[majazama]

Why, thank-you spark! I love yall' too!

I'm going to see a family doctor for the prenatal stuff (check heartbeat, position of baby) I'm just a little concerned cause I haven't felt the baby move for a long time . I'm almost 19 weeks along. I haven't seen anyone yet for this pregnancy. I have an app. for next monday. I do not want to have this doctor(s) at my birth. There is 5 of them apparently. And you never know who's going to be on call when the time comes around. All the MW in my area are BUSY for july. I'd rather see a MW for the prenatal stuff. But I'm confident in me! I hope everyone else is too (partner, mom...) I sucks when people aren't confident in you, when you are.