UC Support Thread II - Page 9

[wildthing]

Originally posted by citizenfong
Hey, UC mamas, remind me why I don't need to stress out about going over that magical threshold of 42 weeks! I hit the mark on Friday.

Here it is...the reason we wanted a UC. I KNOW I'd have been scheduled for induction by now!

You don't need to stress for many reasons:
1. No women has ever been pregnant forever
2. Your body knows exactly when it needs to start labor
3. Your baby knows exactly when he or she is fully ready to be born
4. Your body is working now, preparing to give birth, even if you are not in active labor
5. Your body works perfectly
6. 42 weeks is an arbitrary number given by the medical establishment to make life convenient for doctors
7. All women and babies are different, how can anyone tell you exactly how long your baby needs to gestate

OKay, that's all I can think of off the top of my head. Any of these ring a bell?

[indigolilybear]

citizenfong--

Doesn't birthlove.com have a lot on ten month preg. (though I'm sure you'll not go that long.....) Maybe that would give you a pep talk?? I'm sure thinking about you.....And can't wait to hear your wonderful story!!

[ChildoftheMoon]

Hang in there citizenfong! Dh was a ten month baby, sometimes babes just need to bake a little longer. Thinking of you and sending you peaceful and joyful birthing vibes. You are so close!
Brandi

[citizenfong]

Thanks, you guys, for the support. It's nice to know people who understand.

indigolilybear: that is a great page--very inspiring. I almost wish I was a member just to read all the links and stories. But even without that, there is plenty of good stuff on that page.

[Spark]

Tracy -- Just wanted to let you know that I'm sending you love. You're really doing such a wonderful job trusting. Know that you're in my thoughts and I'm envisioning a healthy happy baby coming to you soon. Really, you've waited so long for this babe, he/she really will be here soon in the scheme of things.

May you be holding your baby in your arms and great joy in your heart.

[citizenfong]

Oh, thank you Claire. I spend a good bit of time feeling like a whiney wuss, it's nice for someone to point out that oh, yeah, I'm doing SOMETHING right.

BTW, I told dh the other day that if he thinks he's getting THIS one on his birthday (April 16), too, he's CRAZY! I won't allow it!:LOL

[yoga]

Congrats, Indigo! So happy for you!

Citizen, babies come when they come. I'm soooo glad I don't have a "due" date, b/c if I were to go "over", I'd start getting depressed. I hope the baby comes soon!

[LizD]

You would certainly be fighting off induction by now, and losing confidence in wasting all that energy doing so. Having passed the 42-week mark, you might even have lost your health care provider altogether. This has happened to some of my doula clients who refuse to comply with their midwife's or dr's induction plans. The births often end up high intervention because of the whole dynamic shifting and the mother's decreased confidence from all that arguing.

So enjoy feeling safe and that no one but you has the right to make these decisions, and go to the movies. Watched pot and all that.

[majazama]

citizenfrog~~

how "late" was your first child?

Have you tried sex to get things going?

My mom was late with me, and she would go on long bike rides down dirt roads. :LOL I don't know if that worked, but the progesterone-thing helped me when I was overdue with my last baby. She was 9 days "over", which my midwife told me is an average for babies, as in that should be the natural due date.

There's lots of differentiations from normal, and I think you are probably fine, as long as you can feel the baby move enough times per day.

[citizenfong]

>how "late" was your first child?

:LOL He wasn't...he was 8 days EARLY! So you can imagine that's what I was hoping for this time!

>Have you tried sex to get things going?

Yup. It hasn't worked, but we just stubbornly keep trying.

LizD, a great perspective. Certainly not one you'd find in the literature, is it? : And I am quite sure the chances are high that I would have lost my provider by now.

Thanks for the continued support, everyone!

[KateSt.]

Wow, what an inspiring and educational thread this has been for me! I just found it today and read through all nine pages. How exciting to read through Spark's labor (congratualtions!) and to look forward to Citizenfong's -- good luck, my thoughts are with you! I'm feeling so fortunate to have found this particular thread. I've already benefited so much from the wisdom of you mommies and have written down all of the resources mentioned. Thank you!

I've known for a wonderful, blissful week that I'm pregnant (dh and I had been trying for 5 mos after a m/c last fall). So, I'm 3 weeks pregnant from conception date and due (probably) sometime in November. The funny thing is -- on the afternoon before the night we conceived our wonderful spirit babe I brought up to my dh the notion of unassisted birth out of the blue. I didn't even know I was considering it until it came out of my mouth. Now I think it was my soon-to-be babe communicating it to me.

I surprised myself the first time I was pregnant by definitley deciding to have a homebirth with a midwife (I found a great one and dh and I just love her -- she was invaluable to me during my m/c). This time around though, I'm feeling very protective of this baby in a loving, private way. I told dh that I wasn't going to see our mw until I was 4 months along. Then I decided I'd wait until 6 months. Now I'm thinking "why do I need her at all?"

When I think about the labor (though it's a long time from now) I find myself worrying about having enough food for my mw and her assistant. I worry about telling her I don't want a student mw there. I worry that I'll let her expertise influence my intuition. I worry that my labor will be long and I'll be keeping her from other obligations. All this senseless worrying is leading me to believe that I shouldn't even put myself in that situation. Why the hell should I be worrying about my mw when instead I should be focused on myself and my baby?!

I started really seriously researching the idea of UC yesterday -- and all I can say is when I started thinking this was the direction I should go, I started to feel absolutely exhilarated. In fact, while reading through this thread I've had chills going through me and have been moved to tears on quite a few occassions. UC feels RIGHT to me! But I had been wondering about UC for first time mothers -- so thank you Alexis for asking (Hi Alexis, by the way! I've been thinking about you and sending baby dust your way.)

This is my first and I'm not highly educated (yet) about the whole labor and birth process. Dh isn't on board with UC yet, but I haven't been trying to convince him yet either. I want to do a lot more research and come to him with the exact reasons why I think we should do it. I know I'll be able to convince him -- thankfully he puts a lot of stock in my intuition.

Anyway, I just wanted to introduce myself and thank you ladies for all your insight and experience. I'll be hanging around here for awhile, if you don't mind. What an amazing thread and what amazing women.

Kate

[cottonwood]

Welcome, Kate! Feel free to ask any questions! We all love to gab about our experiences.

Also, you might want to check out the past threads about UC here. Just do a search for "unassisted birth".

[majazama]

Thanks for joining us, KateSt. I'm so glad were getting more people to "join the movement".

I've been reading this book by Sheila Kitzinger called Rediscovering Birth.... I give it Have any of you read it? So far I haven't read much in there about UC, but it's got the whole "her"story of women giving birth, including rituals, superstitions, and the original role of midwives, which was of spiritual earth-mother-type helper, who trusted the way a womans body worked in birth.

If I was around 500 years ago, I would have loved and apreciated that kind of support, which I felt was strongly lacking in my midwife-attended birth. It was all about the safety, and nothing about the spiritual.

Do any of you have any thoughts about this topic? How are you going to integrate the sacred into your babies labour,birth and post-partum?

[Spark]

Tracy, just wanted to let you know, that you're in my thoughts. Everytime you pop into my head throughout the day, I take a moment to send you positiveness. You're doing it, Tracy. You're making it through going overdue even though A was early. Each moment that passes, you've made it further than most and you've done so as gracefully as possible.

Welcome Kate! I should say, my birth was not entirely UC. I did, thankfully, have much UC influence and such great support from this thread. For which, I am SOOOO grateful. And, I trust it worked out for the highest good and opened the door in my husband's mind to future total UC. (Yeah!)

[lafemmedesfemmes]

hi kate!

yay! a due-date buddy! i'm just a hair over six weeks pregnant, and have been telling people that i'm due anytime between halloween and thanksgiving.

i usually lurk, so i guess i'll introduce myself while i'm here. i'm 26. my one year wedding anniversary is in a little over two weeks. my husband is completely onboard with me on up/uc. this is my third pregnancy-- i had an abortion at 16, and gave a child up for adoption at 18. i have a livejournal at http://www.livejournal.com/users/lafemmedesfemme . if anyone else has a livejournal, too, i'll be happy to add you to my "baby filter"; i don't plan on making a general announcement for a few more weeks.

i guess that's all the relevant stuff. nice to meet you all!

christina in marietta, ga
due mid-november-ish

[KateSt.]

Hi Ladies! Thank you all for your warm welcomes and support.
Lafemmesdesfemmes, I'm pleased that we are due around the same time!

I'm going to a couple of bookstores today and hopefully buy some of the books that were mentioned -- Laura Shanely's "Unassisted Birth" and Sheila Kitzinger's "Rediscovering Birth." (Thanks Mamajaza for the recommendation)

In your expert opinions -- is it possible to do too much research and learn too much about this process? I wonder if it will influence my expectations. Truly, I'm such a newbie that I have to learn all about where to cut the cord and all the other basics.
Does anyone have a resource that they have found invaluable?

Also, do any of you think that my inexperience poses a risk for UC? All I know is that I've been so contentedly peaceful about this decision that I see no other way. Though, I certainly don't want to do anything that may harm my baby -- and I do worry that perhaps I'm being niave thinking I can do this with my first birth. Maybe that's just part of the "unlearning process" I'm going through, though.

I'm very surprised at how quickly I seem to be adapting to the idea. Two days ago I thought "OH MY GOD, I could NEVER eat part of the placenta." Now I'm thinking I could certainly do it if I felt it was right for me at the time.

Mamajaza, I love your question about how to integrate the sacred into the birth, labour, and post-partum journey. I've been feeling like I want to celebrate this baby coming back to me with some sort of sacred blessing or ceremony, but I haven't yet thought it out yet.

Spark -- how wonderful that your dh is so incredibly supportive now! I have a feeling my dh will be a bit apprehensive at the thought of UC, but when the time comes I know without a doubt that he'll come through for me and baby.

Blueviolet -- thanks for the suggestion on doing a search -- I will definitely do that.

I know that deciding on UC is something we can definitely NOT share with our families (they gave us such a hard time last time when we decided on a homebirth with a mw. Since I had a m/c I know they'll be even more apprehensive). So this thread has given me some good ideas on how to handle sharing and not sharing this with others. Thank you again!

Kate

[citizenfong]

Welcome, new ladies!

I don't think you can be too informed about birth, personally. However, I know that some people disagree, arguing that too much knowledge can get in the way of your instincts. I suggest doing as much research as you want/can in the early months, and then as you get closer you can let it go and trust that you will use whatever information you have wisely. JMO.

I am not concerned with doing something special to add to the sacredness of this birth. I believe a lot differently than a many people on these boards, and I have seen the hand of God on us throughout this pregnancy. Even though it's been a difficult one in many ways, I have never had so much loving support in my life. I believe that every part of the conception, pregnancy and birth of this child are part of God's plan (which doesn't stop me from fighting it sometimes!), even (maybe even especially) going so overdue!

Anyway, I've been learning to depend on God DAILY just to get me through the day. I thought I trusted Him in regard to birth, but found that my trust only extended so far. So I'm having no choice but to work on that. And I believe the birth will be kind of the culmination of all that. Kind of the blessing at the end of the tunnel if you will.

Finally, Claire: Quit making me
(also, did you say something about "next time"?)

[LizD]

oy, I wish I hadn't noticed your first was eight days early! My daughter was three weeks early and I am sort of expecting that this time. I have tried to prepare myself for going "overdue," but after last time, I plan to be as ready as possible by 37 weeks and then run the risk of brooding the rest of the time. However, I've noticed in my doula work that *so* far early or late, ie more than two weeks, does seem to keep to a consistent pattern for most women I've seen. All their babies are three weeks early, or two weeks late. Of course this is just a hopeful generalization on my part.

I asked my midwife about this very thing, because as I said I have seen too many ugly scenarios start because of being "late." I've seen clients who were determined to avoid even too many internal exams get frightened into pitocin inductions, and some castor oil nightmares turn into cesareans or very rough vaginal births. My midwife says there's a difference between postdates and postmature and plenty of ways to determine which.

Rediscovering Birth is a lovely book!

[majazama]

I just want to say that I am not going to tell anyone in my family that I plan on UCing, except my mom, brother, and SIL, who all live in this house with me right now. Those family members are totally suportive, but I could not imagine telling my grama or any aunts or uncles. I feel like their fear would make something happen, KWIM?

I just hope that the birth will be like my first one.... quick (relatively), and easy (relatively). I hope to labour in a kids pool that I'm going to set up in the living room. But I have concerns about the phalates leeching out of the PVC. I might end up just in the bathtub, I guess I'll see.

I'm having nesting feelings these days. Our house is insanely packed right now with all of my brother, my mom's, and my own stuff. I just want to have all my baby clothes in my own little space to look at them and imagine my little one all comfy.... but all my stuff is under piles of their stuff, in the garage and under the stairs. I started taking the stuff out today, and right now I'm on MDC, but I should really be putting that stuff away or sort it or something.

ok, I'm totally rambling here.... I should do something while the baby is sleeping.

[indigolilybear]

just have a minute but wanted to post our birth story....

Here is my (and Soleil's) birth story: (warning: it's a bit long....)

http://www.mothering.com/discussions...hreadid=127214