Buddhist Mama Sangha—3rd quarter '09 (through Sept)

[kangamitroo]

thanks for pointing out we have passed June, keeta. here is the 3rd quarter thread. i thought we should start off with your last post, since you have so many recent activities to share.

Originally Posted by Keeta

Is there a Third Quarter '09 Buddhist Mama Sangha thread? If not, I can start one (or if you get to it first, feel free!)

Wanted to check in with my fellow mamas on the buddhist path.

I'm part of a small buddhist parenting group, and we had a great meeting yesterday. I hadn't been in several months, and I was a little nervous about going again, but it was really amazing. The main theme of the meeting was the parami sila, or virtue. Kind of a heavy topic! But, in preparation for the meeting I watched this talk given by our sangha's guiding teacher, and it really blew my mind - such a different way of approaching the concept of "virtue" (which can have sort of a Victorian connotation to me in usual conversation). But the way he was describing it was allowing all safe passage - when we can break out of our "I"-ness and embrace our interconnectedness through awareness, it's almost just like living metta. I was especially inspired by the idea of not striving for virtue - that by doing so, we get caught in our singular personal perspective. But that the path to virtue lies in living the precepts and just remaining in the now, non-judging; taking a pause to listen to inner wisdom before responding to things.

Here is the talk, if anyone is interested (there is a second one that I haven't listened to yet, but planning to soon! )

The not-striving thing hit home for me. I'm pregnant, and had a really exhausted and under-the-weather feeling first trimester where, even though I did the best I could, I feel like I really kind of dropped the ball with caring for DS. Lately I've been inspired to try to incorporate some more rich experiences in his environment and have been reading about games and activities to play with 3 year olds, homeschooling 3 year olds (not that I want to "teach" him, just have fun activities for us to do). But the same thing kept coming up on all the homeschooling preschoolers threads, and I don't know why it took me so long to get it: Just Be Present With Your Child. Follow their lead. Be there in their world, play with them. It's amazingly simple. But like so many concepts on the buddhist path, it's simple, not always easy.

I've been reading Playful Parenting lately by Lawrence Cohen, and it's really great.

Another book I wanted to recommend to fellow mamas that I just checked out is Mindful Motherhood: Practical Tools for Staying Sane During Pregnancy and Your Child's First Year. Being pregnant has inspired me to try to get back to regular sitting, and this book is really wonderful. Easy to read and understand, it has sample meditations, some yoga sequences and is very down-to-earth.

i look forward to hearing from other mamas. i enjoy that this virtual sangha practices a diverse mix of buddhist traditions, and the more voices the merrier.

[kangamitroo]

if you are looking for a short burst of inspired reading, i recommend the blog of Karen Maezen Miller: http://mommazen.blogspot.com/

[goldfishkate]

Hi. I'm new to Buddhism and I've found it very spiritually fulfilling. Right now I find myself putting more energy into learning and reading the dharma and buddhism parenting books than attachment parenting books- eventhough attachment parenting really fits well into Buddhism. I tried to read Momma Zen but I couldn't get into it. I would recomment Everyday blessings- the inner work of mindful parentng. I haven't finished it yet, but I've enjoyed what I've read thus far.

Is anyone practicing Buddhism but your spouse is not? How does that work in your family?

[fireflies~for~me]

Waving Hello...
Thanks for the blog suggestion!

I am reading Cave in the Snow about the British nun Tenzin Palmo-it is so very inspiring and really reigniting my practice. I have been sitting on and off the last couple of years with a small Zen group, but am more fully aware of a local Tibetan abbey actually only one hour from where I live. wow...such a close resource...www.sravastiabbey.com I am just wanting to go and be part of the whole experience.

Has anyone had any major shifts that skim on escapism at times? I had a very hard work week and am just going deep into my reading (and not spending enough time with my children, who need a mama..) any insights?

[avaylee]

Hi all -- Feels like it's been ages since I've bounced around these boards, much less this thread. I've been really missing my practice lately as I haven't found a sangha nearby that works for me and my family.

I have a question that may have already been answered (I may have even already asked this), but might be a good jumping off point for our final quarter... How did you choose the tradition that you practice? Do most people practice the tradition they first encountered when coming to Buddhism? I find myself reading and reading and reading and the majority of it comes from those of the Tibetan lineage (lots of Dalai Lama, for example) but then I read something from a Zen monk and think "maybe this would work".

I find myself getting so lost in the details that I don't ever just sit and practice a meditation, like I have to know what I'm doing so that I'm doing it right... Isn't just sitting down for five minutes and breathing, generating loving-kindness for others... isn't doing just that "getting it right"?

Anyhow, something I'm struggling with in my personal/parental growth as well. I tend to hunker down with my practice when the weather brings rain and wind, so hopefully I will get my tush back on the cushion.

[fireflies~for~me]

Avaylee,

My DH and I initially were drawn to Zen, but then I actually went to a local Tibetan abbey and was completely blown away by the experience. I was surprised that I enjoyed so much form, considering my fundamentalist upbringing. In that context, the form was nurturing and renewing....it was quite an interesting feeling. The offering of food dana and the thanks from the nuns in return...we laypeople were weeping that day, it was so touching. I told my DH when I got home, that I truly felt the gift of unconditional positive regard...they wanted nothing from me, only to be a beacon of compassion...wonderful and part of me wanted to go back and become a monastic. That feeling ebbed and flowed away obviously, as I am a mama with a householder life, but I do wish to go back....

Having said that, though, we always seem to come back to the simplicity of Zen...the lack of mind noise, of too much thought...just sitting...just following the breath....

May you find your cushion this rainy season and a cup of hot tea
Gassho....