Rather than write a birth story, I wanted to sum up the positive/successful aspects of my two beautiful birth experiences in hopes that it might help others the way I benefit from compulsively reading birth anecdotes in the last weeks of my pregnancies. This is long and for some reason I typed it lefty on a touch screen, nakking...!
•Touch.
During my first labor, I couldn't be touched. It was too distracting, made it impossible to ride on top of the contraction. This time, I spent each dry (vs water) rush rubbing out my belly and varying on Ina May's "shaking the apples" theme which involves grabbing and shaking handfuls of major muscle groups. So, once active in the tub, DB and occasionally the midwife could attempt to press and rub me and I didn't lose focus. Sometimes it actually felt good.
•Water!
Drink: gives you something to do to set your rhythm once the contractions amp up to active. Take a gulp after every one. Your partner should be there already with the cup and straw. If you throw up, lots of water makes it easier and wards off dehydration. And I found that throwing up restored my energy level, particularly for a night labor on no sleep. Bonus: when you pee after the birth, it comes out clear and doesn't sting.
Submerge: the midwives' epidural!
Again, once active this is where you want to be. Like the old adage about a knife under the bed cutting the pain, water slices into the intensity of the contraction. Helped me maintain my sense of purpose, isolating out the contractions as opening me up to get my baby out vs being wracked with sensation on dry land. The ebb and flow of the water made my movements rhythmic and soothing instead of just efforts to make it hurt less.
•Temperature.
The water has to be warm, especially at the end for the baby, but heat can dry you out and sap your strength. I kept a fan trained on me and washcloths rotating out of the freezer for my forehead and back of neck. These small comforts make so much difference in keeping your focus on no focus, or warding off small distractions taking you from efficiently completing the task at hand. To that end:
•Soft focus.
Since labor got me out of bed, my contacts were already out. Was very nice to keep the whole evening dim and hazy, relaxing a labor that slammed into me and just got faster. Keep lights dim and ambient, placing light sources on the ground to eliminate glare. With my first (December) birthing, we had just a string of white Christmas lights. The baby's temperament, in my experience, will instantly reflect the tranquility of the birth setting.
•Pushing.
This was my most amazing discovery during this birthing and the reason I felt compelled to post. For my first birth, I labored nice and steadily to nearly transition and then gave in to temptation to check dilation for the first time as my midwife had just arrived. She called 8cm and soon thereafter I got tired of playing and asked if I should try to push. She said "if you want to" and so I exhausted myself bearing down for over an hour. In the end, the urge to push overtook my very last contraction and my daughter was instantly born.
I had discussed this with my (same) midwife this pregnancy and she knew I intended to wait for the urge this time. For that reason, she gently resisted checking, instead teasing me about the number of times I checked myself to feel my baby's head descending and stretching out what remained of my cervix, always coming out with trailing red shreds of mucus that reassured me of progress without obsessing over a number.
Finally, I started to feel contractions localizing into my uterus in a way that suggested that bearing down and curling over at the top like I'd read about. I asked to be checked and she confirmed not how many centimeters, but that she felt only a remaining shred of cervix that would be pushed out of the way. With the next rush, my body intuitively responded with what I've since dubbed The Technique (this is probably a documented method, don't know which):
Simply, at the contraction's start, I drew a deep inhale into my belly, ballooning it out. Then I exhaled hard, humming low in my throat so the force of the moan pushed the breath out more deeply. These pushes involved no conscious pushing effort and were virtually painless, just deep and strong.
Maybe ten minutes into this, I started bouncing around the floor of my Birth Pool in a Box - best tub ever - to find my birthing pose. I committed to the last few pushes I'd actually have to produce to get him out. I started to worry here that I would sustain damage from such a fast pushing stage. Plus, he was near crowning and it was starting to hurt. I asked for somebody to support my perineum, bounced around a bit more to escape some leg cramps, ended up on all fours and pushed with all my strength. I heard "there's his head", took some deep breaths (right when my midwife later said she was about to tell me to stop for a second as she saw a tear about to happen), and pushed out his little bod with another deep, growly exhale. Taking my waterbirthed baby boy as my midwife passed him through my legs, I sat back.
Start to finish, he was out in under six hours, including one catnap in bed and about another fifteen minutes laying with DD when she woke up early on. I pushed for under fifteen minutes and haven't since even noticed the tiny skid mark I supposedly sustained (same miniscule damage as last time, btw, just the opposite side).
•Some afterthoughts...
Loose lips
Deep sounds
Privacy: announce the birth, not every contraction!
Keep it easy...labor is work and likely you're in for at least a hard night's worth. Make it easy for everybody to be there by maintaining a good attitude. I accomplish this by amusing myself as much as possible. It's your night and your baby's day, so to speak, besides the two of you anybody you've asked to be there is feeding off your energy as well.
This is my experience and what worked for me. Every birth is different. Hoping some other mamas will chime in with their successes, too.
•Touch.
During my first labor, I couldn't be touched. It was too distracting, made it impossible to ride on top of the contraction. This time, I spent each dry (vs water) rush rubbing out my belly and varying on Ina May's "shaking the apples" theme which involves grabbing and shaking handfuls of major muscle groups. So, once active in the tub, DB and occasionally the midwife could attempt to press and rub me and I didn't lose focus. Sometimes it actually felt good.
•Water!
Drink: gives you something to do to set your rhythm once the contractions amp up to active. Take a gulp after every one. Your partner should be there already with the cup and straw. If you throw up, lots of water makes it easier and wards off dehydration. And I found that throwing up restored my energy level, particularly for a night labor on no sleep. Bonus: when you pee after the birth, it comes out clear and doesn't sting.
Submerge: the midwives' epidural!
Again, once active this is where you want to be. Like the old adage about a knife under the bed cutting the pain, water slices into the intensity of the contraction. Helped me maintain my sense of purpose, isolating out the contractions as opening me up to get my baby out vs being wracked with sensation on dry land. The ebb and flow of the water made my movements rhythmic and soothing instead of just efforts to make it hurt less.
•Temperature.
The water has to be warm, especially at the end for the baby, but heat can dry you out and sap your strength. I kept a fan trained on me and washcloths rotating out of the freezer for my forehead and back of neck. These small comforts make so much difference in keeping your focus on no focus, or warding off small distractions taking you from efficiently completing the task at hand. To that end:
•Soft focus.
Since labor got me out of bed, my contacts were already out. Was very nice to keep the whole evening dim and hazy, relaxing a labor that slammed into me and just got faster. Keep lights dim and ambient, placing light sources on the ground to eliminate glare. With my first (December) birthing, we had just a string of white Christmas lights. The baby's temperament, in my experience, will instantly reflect the tranquility of the birth setting.
•Pushing.
This was my most amazing discovery during this birthing and the reason I felt compelled to post. For my first birth, I labored nice and steadily to nearly transition and then gave in to temptation to check dilation for the first time as my midwife had just arrived. She called 8cm and soon thereafter I got tired of playing and asked if I should try to push. She said "if you want to" and so I exhausted myself bearing down for over an hour. In the end, the urge to push overtook my very last contraction and my daughter was instantly born.
I had discussed this with my (same) midwife this pregnancy and she knew I intended to wait for the urge this time. For that reason, she gently resisted checking, instead teasing me about the number of times I checked myself to feel my baby's head descending and stretching out what remained of my cervix, always coming out with trailing red shreds of mucus that reassured me of progress without obsessing over a number.
Finally, I started to feel contractions localizing into my uterus in a way that suggested that bearing down and curling over at the top like I'd read about. I asked to be checked and she confirmed not how many centimeters, but that she felt only a remaining shred of cervix that would be pushed out of the way. With the next rush, my body intuitively responded with what I've since dubbed The Technique (this is probably a documented method, don't know which):
Simply, at the contraction's start, I drew a deep inhale into my belly, ballooning it out. Then I exhaled hard, humming low in my throat so the force of the moan pushed the breath out more deeply. These pushes involved no conscious pushing effort and were virtually painless, just deep and strong.
Maybe ten minutes into this, I started bouncing around the floor of my Birth Pool in a Box - best tub ever - to find my birthing pose. I committed to the last few pushes I'd actually have to produce to get him out. I started to worry here that I would sustain damage from such a fast pushing stage. Plus, he was near crowning and it was starting to hurt. I asked for somebody to support my perineum, bounced around a bit more to escape some leg cramps, ended up on all fours and pushed with all my strength. I heard "there's his head", took some deep breaths (right when my midwife later said she was about to tell me to stop for a second as she saw a tear about to happen), and pushed out his little bod with another deep, growly exhale. Taking my waterbirthed baby boy as my midwife passed him through my legs, I sat back.
Start to finish, he was out in under six hours, including one catnap in bed and about another fifteen minutes laying with DD when she woke up early on. I pushed for under fifteen minutes and haven't since even noticed the tiny skid mark I supposedly sustained (same miniscule damage as last time, btw, just the opposite side).
•Some afterthoughts...
Loose lips
Deep sounds
Privacy: announce the birth, not every contraction!
Keep it easy...labor is work and likely you're in for at least a hard night's worth. Make it easy for everybody to be there by maintaining a good attitude. I accomplish this by amusing myself as much as possible. It's your night and your baby's day, so to speak, besides the two of you anybody you've asked to be there is feeding off your energy as well.
This is my experience and what worked for me. Every birth is different. Hoping some other mamas will chime in with their successes, too.
