paying for the cremation

[heatherweh]

Oh yeah! Being "next of kin" is a different experience when it means making all the decisions for your deceased parent, particularly if that parent is indigent and you get to foot the bills. F-. I know it may seem crass to complain of expenses and it goes right on my big pile of guilt that I shoulder, but this funeral/cremation business seems to be a total racket. I mean who even cares about any of this- I can't talk to friends about this, precious few have buried a parent and those who have generally got a windfall not a bunch of bills to pay. I guess its just one more thing to be angry about and then in turn to feel guilty for being angry about.

Oh and I blew a tire and now my car won't start and my last-minute ticket cross-country to see my dying father was almost $800. Isn't there a country-song about this?

[Kama82]

Cremation costs are awful. There are so many little details involving death that are so unbelievably expensive it just adds insult to injury. If you can bear to shop around you can find places that will do cremations cheaper (we found a place that cremated my mom for $700) but shopping around is pretty hard when you are already filled with grief. A friend of the family did it for us.

Anger is a very normal emotion when you are greiving, it is a horrible feeling though isn't it? On top of a mountain of medical bills my mom left every single utility and other bill in their house was very very past due, in fact the power got shut off the day she died, coming home to no powe rin the 100 degree heat... ugh, and to discover my brother had been sitting in that heat all day alone... its hard not to be angry someties.

Sometimes it just seems like all the bad stuff has to happen at once doesn't it.

[WC_hapamama]

If your loved one's body hasn't been turned over to a funeral home yet, ask if the state or county that he/she lived in has a program for indigent people.

edited to add after reading your previous post... most counties in CA do have programs for indigent people who died in that county. I know that in LA county, the next of kin can ask the county to have the body cremated and the cremains returned for less than a mortuary would charge.

Check with the SSA and/or VA (the latter if your Dad was a veteran) to see if you can get assistance from them too.

[Barbamama]

Originally Posted by WC_hapamama

If your loved one's body hasn't been turned over to a funeral home yet, ask if the state or county that he/she lived in has a program for indigent people.

edited to add after reading your previous post... most counties in CA do have programs for indigent people who died in that county. I know that in LA county, the next of kin can ask the county to have the body cremated and the cremains returned for less than a mortuary would charge.

Check with the SSA and/or VA (the latter if your Dad was a veteran) to see if you can get assistance from them too.

:

I'm so sorry, both for the loss of your dad, and for the next of kin crap you're having to deal with. I went through a similar thing with my husband's death, and found out too late about some of the resouces that were available.

Please don't let anyone rush you into making plans before you've had a chance to make a few calls.

[heatherweh]

Thanks for "listening". Barbamama- I'm sorry for the loss of your husband.

The county would pay for "indigent cremation" but then would bury with 3 other cremains, next of kin has to absolve themself of relations to the individual, then they can't have the remains.

Dad was a veteran and they will cover the funeral expenses with the exception of the cremation and handling of the remains.