What would you do if you had just found out...

[Mama2Bug]

that your DH was going to be laid off, probably as soon as the first week of September and you were unprepared in every way?!

DH was notified last month that a mass layoff was coming, but that he was likely going to be transferred to another department. The worst case scenario they gave was that, if he was laid off, it wouldn't be until late November, at the soonest. We made our plans contingent upon that. We reduced our luxury items (got rid of Netflix etc), paid off our car, reduced our car insurance to the bare minimum, had the car inspected, registered and did all the maintenance on it, started stocking the pantry, bought DD some clothes for winter and in the next size up and were planning to begin putting away a nest egg- starting with DH's next paycheck. I was going to get DD to the dentist for the first time and get us all check-ups. We were going to get an extra month or two of prescriptions.

He found out today that the layoff is pretty much inevitable and that it will probably come in early September.

This is terrible, terrible timing. I just got back from a necessary trip to help my grandparents move into a retirement community several states away. It wasn't an expensive trip at all, but it wasn't free. We are, fortunately, debt-free (well, aside from student loans, but I can put those in forbearance) but we have less than $200.00 in the bank and no savings at all. We have a few bills coming up that will decrease even that. We are 4 months into a year rental and cannot move (for lower rent, a new job etc) until it is up. I have to have minor surgery to remove a small bone tumor (benign, thank God, but painful) from my finger and I have no idea if it will take place while we still have insurance. We both take prescription drugs that would be very expensive without insurance. COBRA may be more than we can afford. My family all lives several states away and doesn't really have any means to help us financially. We just cut off DH's parents (who live an hour away) this past weekend. (They believe that women are unable to make logical decisions without the help of a man!) He has no other family within a thousand miles. Our friends are just as broke as we are.

We had a huge garage sale before we moved, so there is nothing left to sell. I don't know anyone who needs a babysitter. I could work at night, but only at a very low-paying job and I don't know who would watch DD while I slept during the day- assuming DH is out looking for a job. We don't have a house phone (just a fairly basic cell plan), cable, a second car, a mortgage, a credit card, magazine subscriptions or anything like that. I don't know what else to cut out. We can't get rid of the internet. DH needs it to job hunt, especially in the field he is in. Commuting to the library would just cost the same in gas.

DH is very marketable. He has worked for many years at the same high-profile computer company. He has held a pretty good position and is well-qualified in his field. It's just that nobody is hiring.

I know that I should get the forms together for unemployment and be ready to send them in. I know it can take several weeks to receive benefits though. DH will get a decent severance package, but it may take a while to get it too. DH will get one or two more paychecks, but after rent and bills, we'll still be at just a few hundred dollars.

I have no idea what else I can do.

[~Megan~]

other than not having much in savings it does sound like you are in a pretty good position. I'd look into food options now, contact utilities about programs as well.

I'm sorry that this is happening to your family and I hope he finds a new job very quickly

[SleeplessMommy]

The job market is rough out there, I agree. Working for a big computer company, there should be severance - maybe 1 week per year if he is lucky. He should join linkedin (if not on already) and look for or start a linkedin networking group for ex-employees of the company.

Good luck!

[shayinme]

I'd imagine he is eligible for unemployment so that should be his first stop as soon as he is officially laid off. Normally its 26 weeks but I know due to the economy at least in my state its now available for up to a year.

Once you know what his benefit amount is from there you can see what else is available, food stamps, medicaid, these may be things to look into as well.

Personally I would look at taking a pt job nights and weekends to bring in cash, since if your dh is home at that time he can watch your dd. If he is collecting UE it won't be feasible for him to have the evening job since my experience with UE is they will reduce your benefits so it ends up hurting you. The thing is even if you are only bringing in $100 a weeks combined with his UE benefits you may be able to make it work until he finds a job.

Good luck!

[sunnysandiegan]

Along with the above advice, look into healthcare through your county or state. When my DH was unemployed, we had too many assets for us adults to qualify. However, your situation sounds like you may qualify. Regardless, though, your DD is likely to qualify even if you and DH don't for some reason. At least in my state/county, that was true. DD received a full year of free healthcare even though DH found a job in 6 months with healthcare coverage. They said they reduce costs by keeping policies at one year intervals. Your state/county may vary.

Like someone else said, it will work out best for YOU to have the part-time (any cash is better than none) job while DH looks for a permanent position. I worked part-time during the day when DH was unemployed and it never interfered with his job search. We just worked it out.

Conversely, if you have marketable skills and CAN get a full-time job paying a decent amount, I would personally do it to keep your heads above water during this uncertain economic market.

All that said, I feel compelled to mention that that six month period where DH & I were unemployed (our unemployments overlapped less than that, but we were both unemployed for six months in the same time frame) was one of the happiest and most memorable period of our lives. We sought out free entertainment and had time to spend together with our then-infant DD. While it can be stressful from a financial perspective, try to look at whatever good things you can and focus on any and all positive things you can. It'll greatly improve your outlook on life and your chances for a better situation to come along quickly.

[obiandelismom]

Look into the COBRA payment reduction option that's in the recovery package - the form you need to fill out is called ARRA. As I understand it, your DH's company has to cover a portion of the COBRA payment for 12 months - maybe as much as 80%. My DH was recently laid off, and we are waiting to hear how much they will reduce our payments - I'm not sure exactly what the rules are. But you can go to www.recovery.gov to get more info!

[Mama2Bug]

Thanks, everyone, for all the tips. The info about a reduced COBRA payment is especially helpful.

I may have to get a third shift job, I guess. DH is a good father, but he isn't particularly patient and doesn't enjoy spending long stretches alone with DD, unless they are dong something very specific. He gets frustrated easily. I don't think having him care for her all day would be a good experience for either of them.

Does anyone have any tips on getting the rent/bills etc paid until the severance/unemployment comes in? I highly doubt that, even if I get a part or full time job, that would cover it. I'm not looking at making much beyond minimum wage. That would, obviously, help, but what else can we do?

[shayinme]

If you have always been timely with your creditors just talk to them. In most cases things like utilities will work you and its been my experience you can skip a month and be okay. UE generally doesn't take that long to start especially where its a clear cut case of being laid off. in 2007 when I lost my job it took about 3 weeks to get my first check. So you may find that you aren't waiting that long. Definitely stock up on food and things you need daily now so you are ok while you are waiting for those checks to start.

[SuzyLee]

I think you should start looking for a job. You DH doesn't need to look for a job from 8-5 every day (or whatever hours you are working). He can look while your daughter naps, and when you aren't working. Or he can trade childcare with a friend or neighbor for a few hours a week.

My DH is currently laid off, and we expect it will take him quite some time to find work. So in the mean time I am working, and he is with DS all day, doing job stuff during DS's nap and whenever else he can during the day. Then when I get home from work, I take over DS and DH job hunts in the evening.

In MN UE is all through the internet, and you get it fairly quickly. Also, his severance package my include insurance for some amount of time. When I was laid off last year I got 6 months insurance, plus like 3 weeks of pay (one per year of service).

[Thystle]

DH should also start sending out resumes NOW, not when he gets laid off.

[Mama2Bug]

I'm glad to hear that some people are not having long waits for UE. I have heard horror stories about it being backed up for as long as 9 weeks, so I was pretty worried. DH is definitely updating his resume and will be sending it out as soon as he finds some places to send it.

I understand that it would be a good idea for me to get a job. I definitely plan to look for, at least, some sort of night managerial job (fast food or something, which I have done before). There are several problems with a full-time day job though. For one thing, my DD is 4.5. She does not nap and, while she is not difficult, she is active and maybe a little spirited. I don't know anyone who would trade child care with us. We have no nearby family. We just moved and do not even know our neighbors yet, let alone want to leave our child with them. Our friends are all childless, young and work during the day. I can't hire anyone, obviously. DH loves DD very much, but he is not a patient person. The repetition of playing dollhouse for hours and coloring makes him insane. I can leave DD with him for a few hours or in a pinch. He does all that is necessary to care for her, but it is not pleasant for either of them after about 2 hours. I can barely get through an afternoon of errands without being called home because they are frustrated with each other. I don't want to make it sound as if he is a bad father. He isn't. But he isn't a little kid person and when we decided to have children, it was based on the premise that I would do most of the childcare.

I can work at night, while DD sleeps and things should be fine. I just don't expect to make very much and I wonder when I will sleep.

I plan to go to Goodwill tonight and try to find a winter coat for DD. Hers is way too small and I want to be prepared before the thrift stores are out of winter gear. I also plan to use about 25 bucks to buy some durable household stuff (tp, soap, pantry ingredients).

[MissMommyNiceNice]

I agree that it can end up being a blessing in disguise. I was crushed when I was laid off. But we didn't go into financial ruin. I am actually into my second year of uc now, and while it's not what I was receiving the first year (70% of my pay), it's still something ($700/mo about 25% of my pay). My dh works full time, and it gave me a chance to stay home with our son while he needed me the most (he's 2.5 now).

Plus, it would be a good time for your husband to learn how to deal with your daughter. I mean, really, gods forbids soemthing happens to you. What will he do then? She's not a baby any more, and I'm sure there's lots of things they can do together that interest them both. Sounds like a perfect time for him to chill out, get to know his daughter, and learn some patience!

Good luck!

[shayinme]

I say this gently but should your dh lose his job, he may really need to change his thinking around. No one is saying you have to work 40 hours a week Mon-Fri but having been through a few layoffs in 12 years of marriage for us the first rule of surviving is your regular mindset does not work. I have learned that the rules and ideas we hold to during a layoff go out the windown. Especially now with unemployment being so high and knowing it may take time for him to find a professional job.

I understand what it is to not be a baby/little kid person, I am the same way but you adust also 4.5 is really not a baby baby age.

Perhaps the first thing you should do is talk to your dh and discuss the immediate future as far as planning for worse case scenarios....maybe a late afternoon evening job would be good for you where he can play, do dinner and put your dd to bed might work well.

Shay

[1growingsprout]

Im sorry but DH doesnt want to watch DD? Thats really what this is coming down to? He needs to put on his big boy pants and learn to deal with this. He is going to be home, he is a parent and he needs to do what needs to be done to keep a roof over his family's head. If that means working split shifts, then so be it.

What needs to be done NOW is YOU need to look for a job and start working to build up savings, DH needs to start looking for a job as well. Start working on a budget, take inventory of all household items and see what you have. Also start preparing for winter. If you need any cold weather items start preparing for that as well.

Im sorry if this sounds harsh but it sounds like the company is giving dh some warning, i would be taking full advantage of this.

[lovelysunlight]

First of all, I am so sorry that you are having to deal with this. Take my advice FWIW, because I haven't experienced a layoff, but I hope it helps at least a bit.

-- I'd start sending out job applications now. DH shouldn't wait until the layoff is official. Also, have you considered waitressing? I had a three month period where I moved back to my hometown from England (where I had been living and dating my husband in the military) to prepare for our Stateside wedding, and I waitressed and made really decent money. On certain days I could make $75 in 3 hours, easy. Hourly pay was only $3, but tips more than made up for it.

-- I would go ahead and get all the paperwork together for FS. Get it all filled out, all questions answered and ready to turn in the first day he's laid off. I don't know what state you're in, but I know a family of 3 (one adult, two children) who are receiving a bit over $500 monthly. This is in Alabama. Are you eligible for WIC? That could help you out greatly, as well. I believe some states give fruit and veggie packages out (ours doesn't, unfortunately).

-- Also, some churches and non-profit organizations have "relief funds" of sorts set up to help you pay your utilities/rent/mortgage, etc. My cousin (a widowed mother of three, with two in the home) has gotten help from these before. I believe they've paid her power bill a few times and water bill others. Another person I know had their mortgage paid twice. Call around, or google it and see what you come up with.

I guess I would just really not spend an extra penny ANYWHERE, do all of the above, and hope for the best. Honestly, it sounds like you've prepared extremely well except for not having been able to save much. Is there any way you can explain your situation to your doctor and he can push the surgery through sooner?

Good luck, mama.