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Pregnant after Infertility Tribe - Page 7

post #121 of 449
CRM - you're 9 weeks already?? Wow - you're almost a quarter of the way there! Yay! And yay for pooching out
post #122 of 449
Thread Starter 
Originally Posted by Perdita_in_Ontario View Post
CRM - you're 9 weeks already?? Wow - you're almost a quarter of the way there! Yay! And yay for pooching out
I know! It's crazy, I am weirded out by how much of this pregnancy will already have passed by before I am telling IRL. I can only complain about the nausea to you guys!! And you are almost half way there, wow!
post #123 of 449
Finally, the club I WANT to join!:
There are so many familiar women here. Big hello to you all and congratulations on having made it here.
We are very early pregnant with #1 after 35 timed tries. We were successful on our second IVF...our 9th ART treatment total. Ready to be nauseous for other reasons now! The first beta was 112 and today (16 dpo) it's 265.
I feel so relieved and am really still letting it sink in. I have never been pregnant before and have no idea what to expect. I just hope and pray the pregnancy progresses well. So far so good. :
post #124 of 449
Thread Starter 
poet! That's exactly why I started this thread, I am so excited to be pg, but feeling like I don't fit in in my DDC (exercise? don't!! bleeding after sex? STOP - I am a bit more freaked out than most of them ). And bursting to talk about it since I can't in real life!!
post #125 of 449
Welcome Poet!!! :

Update after my freak out last weekend: I decided to wait until I see the RN from the CMN practice next week to ask to hear the h/b or see a u/s. DH very kindly reminded me that a freak out of the magnitude I was at is probably a pg symptom in and of itsself since I'm usually so mellow and level-headed I started getting a little gaggy & mild m/s on and off starting Monday so I'm feeling confident enough to last another week until my appointment at least
post #126 of 449
Jelenifer - yay for gaggy and m/s!!

Poet - it's lovely to see you over here - really, really lovely. You mentioned on the IVF thread that you're already getting weird odour aversions - that's a great sign. I couldn't go into the kitchen without puking for a couple of months - I was convinced there was a small animal rotting in my kitchen drain pipes. DH was more than a little... nonplussed! Hope yours isn't that bad, but you've got a nice strong start and that's a great sign!
post #127 of 449
Congratulations Poet!!! ::: I am so happy to see you here!!
post #128 of 449
Thread Starter 
I was started to get worried about you Jelinifer, thanks for updating us. Yay for wacky emotions and food aversions - it means you're pregnant!

Perdita - that sounds horrible, how gross for you! Did your dh do all the child meals?

I have the smell thing, but not so badly. Mostly just things my dh is eating (and talking to me with his mouth full), like Doritos blech. I also have the nausea and extreme fatigue. But I am actually in the position of possibly having to increase my hours at work for the $$$ before mat leave. Crap. Hoping to put that off until the second trimester.
post #129 of 449
BIG QUESTION: I buy my own insurance and it covers: infertility u/s and labs plus $2500 of fertility drugs, but no ivf procedures and NO maternity at all. I could switch to my husband's plan as a spouse with no pre-existing condition clause (preg. is often considered that) which has full maternity but no infertility. I would have to pay the whole year in full and I can switch over only at 3 times during the year: RIGHT NOW (as in by tomorrow), @ 19 weeks or before birth. If I switch over and something goes wrong, I can't get back the infertility coverage easily and if I can get it, not for a 6 mth waiting period and then I'd have to pay 2 insurances at once. I hope that made sense. WWYD? My #s are great and I AM pregnant but I know what can happen. If I waited to switch, I'd also have to pay OOP for the first 19 wks which, if I did the CVS would cost around $1600.
It's not like my current insurance is stellar for IF but it did take the edge off. Also if we had to go back to TTC, we'd use the frozen eggs first so no meds and few u/s and bw.
Enough to make your head spin? Me too! I want to root for hope of course but I keep going back and forth.
Either way, I'll have to not look back, but...this is hard. Thanks in advance!
post #130 of 449
Poet - I'm a bit fuzzy on the insurance thing... if you switched at 19 weeks, would you have to pay back the fertility insurance? Would it lose you anything in the meantime? I suspect with your numbers, you're in a good situation but I can definitely understand the caution!

CRM - no, DH works very early in the morning, so I had to do breakfasts... we live in a small ranch-style bungalow so the smell hit as soon as I left the bedroom. All I could do was puke! I tried doing the vinegar and baking soda thing several times in case something was stuck, but it never helped. Makes you wonder if those smells are there all the time, and we just don't notice, or whether things are just really wacky!!
post #131 of 449
Thanks Perdita. I'll try to explain it though I guess I need to make up my mind pretty soon now.

If I stay on my current insurance, I'll pay for the first 19 wks out of pocket, but I'll retain my IF coverage if we have a loss and have to do ivf again.
If I switch over to my DH's, we'll have full maternity coverage but we'll lose the drug benefit of $2500/yr of fert. drugs (wouldn't get that until next Jan, maxed out for this yr) plus covered u/s monitoring and labs.

So it's a tough call. Do I hang on to the (somewhat) IF coverage out of fear or just say hey, I'm pregnant, let's get going in that direction from here on out.

All thoughts welcome.
post #132 of 449
Poet: Welcome again! I think you should ditch the IF coverage and do what you are really good at.....thinking positive and moving forward. Depending on whether or not you go with an OB or a midwife and the level of intervention you choose, the costs during the first 19 weeks can also be substantial. If the other insurance covers those weeks...it might be something to keep in mind. That is a lot to think about!
post #133 of 449
Poet - That's a tough decision. Is there anyway you can keep both? With dd, I used my insurance thru work (free) to cover maternity and was on dh's insurance ($$) as a secondary to cover infertility. Yes, it meant paying two premiums, but was worth it at the time. Is that an option for you?

This brought up another question I have. The twins in-utero are likely going to be out last children, for many reasons. However, we still have several frozen embryos. I am not willing to make any decision on them until after birth (see, Poet, we're all a bit conservative after if). However, I don't know what to do at that point. For ethical reasons, "disposal" seems wrong. However, it also seems very challenging to give up for adoption and know that somewhere we have a biological child that may come back to me as a teen with questions. Yet, I don't think we can afford to "store" them for years until we are sure about no more children. Any thoughts? I'm sure this is a sensitive topic for many, and hope all will treat it as such.
post #134 of 449
Thanks for weighing in everyone. I really apppreciate it. If our fert. insurance was amazing, like covering IVF, I would be willing to pay two premiums until we get through the 1st trimester. But since the maternity coverage is not done month by month but rather paying the whole year up front, it seems funny to pay for both because if something did go wrong we'd end up paying more overall in premiums than benefits. The real benefit with the IF plan is the $2500 drug coverage, and we figured out that if we waited to switch to maternity at 19 wks, we'd be spending an extra $900 for the chance to save $2500 and that seemed ridiculous. So I think we're going to switch and if something goes wrong, we'll have the FET then we'll ask our families for some help. Phew!

J's Mom, I can understand the complexity of that decision. I'm not sure how to think it through right now, but I will be thinking about it. My gut says that in the long run, it would be too hard to donate them and never know.

Jelinifer, I am so glad things are fine and I think that fear is really natural. It feels like forever until we go in for the HB. I like your strategy with your husband's help. I did guided meditations through the IVF process and I've continued with general ones and it's helping me feel safe and at ease.

Gumby, Thanks for your positive words!
post #135 of 449
Oh for crying out loud. I just went to switch and the maternity plan was $1000 more than it was quoted, so then we decided to wait. But I feel good about it in part because we ended up making the decision based on $ rather than fear of something going wrong. In processing it all, we had already decided together that the odds are in our favor that this pregnancy will work and we are going to go forward feeling really positive about it and that was valuable!!!

Have a great weekend everyone! We have the opportunity to go to Lake Michigan and stay in a cabin for free. Now that's a deal
post #136 of 449
That would be a hard decision, whether to continue IF coverage. I would probably discontinue it to have maternity care though. Just because it could get quite expensive if there are any complications.

I have three frozen embryos, although at my age (43) there is pretty much no chance they could survive freezing and thawing. If they could, I would like to have another one in a couple of years, but I know dh would be against it, so I would probably donate them. Having another biological child out there would not bother me, though.
post #137 of 449
Originally Posted by poetgirl View Post
Have a great weekend everyone! We have the opportunity to go to Lake Michigan and stay in a cabin for free. Now that's a deal
I hope you guys have a blast!!!
post #138 of 449
Thread Starter 
Originally Posted by poetgirl View Post

Have a great weekend everyone! We have the opportunity to go to Lake Michigan and stay in a cabin for free. Now that's a deal
Have a fab time!!!

Re: frozen embryos, I am thinking about this too. Assuming all will go well with this pregnancy, this will be it for us. I can't imagine donating them (but dh would at least consider it). I am leaning either towards research (which is in itself weird, but would help others in my situation) or asking them to insert them when I am least likely to get pg, which seems a bit crazylady. Not worried yet, we won't have to pay again for storage until next summer.

First prenatal appointment today. She asked if I'd had any prenatal care. Answer - no, well except for that u/s at 7 weeks. Do you find that care providers are clueless about ART? This one had no idea what ICSI meant and a limited understanding of IVF.
post #139 of 449
Before this pregnancy, I'd have said my opinion for me was "no embryo left behind" (i.e., give them all a chance). But this pregnancy has been rough so far - not dangerous, just exhausting - so now I don't know. It's a moot point for us - we've never had a frostie in 4 cycles!

I don't think we'd donate (I'm not sure it's something our clinic supports anyway). I suspect we would either donate to research, or, if we had decided we don't want any more, we might transfer back at a point in my cycle where pregnancy is extremely unlikely. There's no easy answers

CRM - I spent about 30 minutes telling my midwife all about IVF. I mean, she had a basic understanding of the mechanics, but the routine, etc, she wasn't hugely aware of.
post #140 of 449
Left over frozen embryos:

I have 13 left over right now. I am unsure how many, if any, more kids I will have after this one. I am taking a wait and let's see approach. But my husband and I agree that we will donate them to a couple in need. However, I want to choose the couple. My clinic has an anonymous program and I am not comfortable with that. But there is a site called miracles waiting that can match people up. I am very liberal in my views and to me it is important that whoever gets these embryos is as well. But who knows, I may use all of these embryos up myself!

Congrats, Poetgirl!
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