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Pregnant after Infertility Tribe - Page 9

post #161 of 449
Poet: I was able to see the heartbeat at 5.5 weeks. It was a suttle flutter, but all I needed to reassure me that life was indeed growing inside me. I think you are absolutely right to the PTSD stuff. Especially the three year road you traveled on which was filled with so many obstacles that had your emotions on a constant roller coaster!
post #162 of 449
I just wanted to add my agreement with the whole PTSD thing. I remember talking to a friend who was also dealing with infertility a year ago, well before we started ivf and 2.5 years into infertility, about how important it was for us not to lose our confidence in our bodies to carry a pregnancy and give birth - these were beliefs that we firmly believed in before all this infertility stuff started. I must say the ivf/art did erode some of that confidence and it's tough to try and now trust that all will go well. It's also not fully clicking for me that I'm now part of the 'club' of pregnant women. I know the first trimester is trying - with the worry of miscarriage and it not seeming real. I hope that once we've officially told everyone that we're expecting and that I start to show, I can overcome some of this uncertainty. cause one this is for sure - we all SO deserve to enjoy this pregnancy!!!!
post #163 of 449
Poet - at 6 wks they likely should see a hb. However, during one pregnancy, they could not. It terrified me so that I ended up calling the RE and he had me come back in that afternoon, when they did another scan and located the hb then. What I learned is that if the tech is unable to locate it, take charge and request another tech or even the RE take a look. Pregnancy after IF is hard enough without any additional worries.
post #164 of 449
I was just having similar PTSD like feelings last night in the shower. I looked down at my belly and realized i could not really shave very easy anymore. Then I was thinking about how i tried for 10 years to have a baby. It was as if infertility became my IDENTITY. and now... being PG. and trying to let it go. its sorta weird because for soooo many years i just accepted it. I will never be PG. I will never have my own baby. Doing 12 cycles of ART 3 being IVF/ICSI and never once having a positive i had just accepted "I am infertile"

It is bizarre to have an identity change. it is also hard because i am 14 weeks and i have had soo much bleeding its hard to relax. I just went to the ER last saturday for excessive soaking bleeding, but the baby looks awesome. I just want to be PRESENT in my own life. not worry so much.
post #165 of 449
Sonja: I'm so sorry that the first 14 weeks have been filled with continued stress from bleeding. I do think that after having gone through so much with infertility as you have, that you should automatically be given a free pass when it comes to stress after your pregnant. I hope the bleeding stops and you can enjoy your pregnancy......hang in there
post #166 of 449
Thread Starter 


Okay, maybe this isn't going to make any sense, but here is my little spot on this thread, in my mind, and in my heart where I just get to be calm and joyful and enjoy this pregnancy in peace. Join me!!
post #167 of 449
I'm with you CRM!!!

Good news too- had my appointment with the practice RN yesterday to give her my history... and she set me up for an ultrasound on Tuesday! Woohoo!!!!
post #168 of 449
I'm with you CRM!

Welcome Poet! So nice to have you here! I am so excited for you! Oh and at over 6 weeks, you should at least be able to see the fetal pole and probably the heartbeat.

Jelinifer- WOOHOOOO for an ultrasound! Tuesday isn't very far away!

LibbyLou- So glad that everything is ok with your fluid levels! I am so excited for you to meet your daughter!

I am doing pretty good here. These boys are just kicking away.
post #169 of 449
Hi Nummies! Lovely to be HERE! I like the sound of kicking brothers...!

Nummies, Gumby, Julia's Mom, Thanks for the help on the 6 wk u/s details.

CRM, Thanks for the eloquent comment I appreciate that. You make such a good point. There is not going to be a defining moment when we are told to relax and it's important to decide within to enjoy this. I am enjoying it, for sure, it's just quite a transition after being so defined by being "infertile" with no kids, and I suspect I'll enjoy it just a bit more after the u/s.
Anyhow, thanks for your self-generated smilie fest. That is the right idea.

Besides, my friend tells me, "Worry is ... Faith in reverse with the pedal to the metal." I was thinking of making some kind of ceremony for myself after the appt. this week to help mark letting some of the long journey go and celebrating what is happening NOW.

Full of Hope and EffervescentMind, Thank you both for your thoughtful and compassionate replies. Sharing the aftershocks with you guys was really helpful for me and I appreciate the candid talk about transitioning from constant medical monitoring and disappointment to actual motherhood and pregnancy!

Jelinifer, Nice! Appt. on Tuesday! I would not be surprised if you have more than one in there...for some reason.

Don't know what kind of symptom this is, but I have had multiple dreams now about babies in cabbage patches, surreal huge thriving cabbage patches with perfectly globular cabbages bursting with babies.
post #170 of 449
I just got great news, my placenta has moved, and I no longer have previa at all (I was dx'd with complete previa at 20 weeks, but that was really too early to say whether it would still be a problem later). I am now cleared for a home birth! Woo hoo!
post #171 of 449
Pookie: I don't think I said anything in our DDC, but that's really great news!!!!!
post #172 of 449
That's fantastic news, Pookie! Must make you feel so much better!

How's everyone else?

(I love that I get to move my ticker up on Monday)
post #173 of 449
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by poetgirl View Post

CRM, Thanks for the eloquent comment I appreciate that. You make such a good point. There is not going to be a defining moment when we are told to relax and it's important to decide within to enjoy this. I am enjoying it, for sure, it's just quite a transition after being so defined by being "infertile" with no kids, and I suspect I'll enjoy it just a bit more after the u/s.
Anyhow, thanks for your self-generated smilie fest. That is the right idea.

Besides, my friend tells me, "Worry is ... Faith in reverse with the pedal to the metal." I was thinking of making some kind of ceremony for myself after the appt. this week to help mark letting some of the long journey go and celebrating what is happening NOW.

Don't know what kind of symptom this is, but I have had multiple dreams now about babies in cabbage patches, surreal huge thriving cabbage patches with perfectly globular cabbages bursting with babies.
Oh, I totally understand the u/s relief! I am planning a date night at a nice restaurant to celebrate the end of the first trimester (although come to think of it, haven't mentioned that to dh yet). Crazy dreams = pregnancy!!! That's a great sign!
post #174 of 449
Great conversation, mamas! The chat about PTSD really resonates with me. Since we got our BFP almost two weeks ago DH and I have been sort of 'stunned'. Everyone around us is jumping up and down for joy, which warms my heart of course, but I feel as though I'm standing in the middle of it unable to feel excited or something.

It feels awful since I have wanted this for so long . . .and we have such a huge number of people around us that have supported us through IF and are so happy for us. Why can't I feel overjoyed too? I feel like I've been through a war and just can't let go of the pain in order to feel the joy. Make any sense? People must think I'm nuts for not being giddy and elated.

A question for those who have done IVF . . . before retrieval I had no abdominal swelling and it was pretty much 'flat'. After retrieval it swelled a bit, but I still fit comfortably in my clothes. Now, at 5w2d I can't wear my pants. It seemed to happen over the last week . . . I am so swollen I am wearing maternity pants and people I don't know can tell I'm pg. If I had pain, shortness of breath, etc, I would think OHSS, but it just seems unlikely. Given that the baby or babies are still teensy tiny, how can I possibly be this swollen? Is it just the prometrium? Why didn't it happen faster? ANyone experience this? TIA!
post #175 of 449
Thread Starter 
Hey attached2mason! I can relate to that numb feeling, like it's hard to believe it is real - you're not nuts. I hope the joy comes trickling in for you! Regarding the bloating, first off I think you should double check with your RE or OB to rule out OHSS, just to be on the safe side. But I wanted to say that with second pregnancies, things often move differently (someone made the analogy of a balloon, it's a lot easier to blow up the second time). I have definitely pooched out, by 7 or 8 weeks I had to put away some of my pants! Mind you, I'm constipated and eating too much butter, so that's part of it, too! Btw, do you know how many are in there? Maybe the mamas with twins can share some experiences, hint hint. Take good care.
post #176 of 449
Thanks CRM, that does help! Perhaps I'll leave a message with my clinic. My u/s is scheduled for 7 weeks, so on Oct 9, so we will find out how many are in there then. We transfered two, so we'll see . . .
post #177 of 449
Quote:
Originally Posted by attached2mason View Post
A question for those who have done IVF . . . before retrieval I had no abdominal swelling and it was pretty much 'flat'. After retrieval it swelled a bit, but I still fit comfortably in my clothes. Now, at 5w2d I can't wear my pants. It seemed to happen over the last week . . . I am so swollen I am wearing maternity pants and people I don't know can tell I'm pg. If I had pain, shortness of breath, etc, I would think OHSS, but it just seems unlikely. Given that the baby or babies are still teensy tiny, how can I possibly be this swollen? Is it just the prometrium? Why didn't it happen faster? ANyone experience this? TIA!
I just wanted to say that the first successful ivf I did get really bloated after bfp until about week 8-10. Then the bloating went down to a normal pregnancy bloat. I think the pregnancy hormones just stimulated minor OHSS, which caused the bloating.

Poet - I too love moving my ticker on Mondays. Speaking of which, time for me to go do that.

As far as excitement, I'm afraid to say that it hasn't really hit me until now. I'm now officially past "legal viability" point and am ready to celebrate. Of course, that delayed joy was partly due to the if, partly due to previous loss and partly due to freaking out over twins.

So...I'm officially going to say that I am THRILLED to be pregnant and very excited about the new family members on their way.
post #178 of 449
I am thinking the PSTD thing totally sums up me. I was wondering why now, after 2 kids already, am I having all of these issues regarding this pregnancy and so forth. Its the infertility. Thanks for this enlightning idea. Now, how to get through.......
post #179 of 449
Amy, my belly was swollen very early in my pregnancy, but I also had constipation from the IVF meds. I think I started wearing maternity pants like at 8 or 9 weeks because I got big so fast. With ds, I just did injectibles with an IUI, and I think since he was my first, I just didn't get big as fast.
post #180 of 449
We saw a heartbeat today!!!

One little bean.... with a good strong heart beat of 172 BPM. Measuring a day ahead what my CMN gave me for an EDD (now at 5/6/10.) We are SO excited (and so incredibly relieved to see a baby in there despite my lack of strong pg symptoms!)
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