Is it hard to admit you aren't a Christian?

[chipper26]

I don't think I am but my entire family is and I was brought up this way. It seems like most people are. Anyway, not that it comes up very often in conversation, but I'm wondering if you've felt like the odd ball when admitting that you don't believe.

I guess I have been slowly coming to the realization that the label just doesn't fit me anymore. I have so many serious doubts that I do not see how I could be anyting but "raised a Christian."

What is my point, I'm not sure, just looking for similar situations, I guess. I'm not even sure I believe in a God, maybe just an undefinable higher power, not one modeled after humanity.

[LisainCalifornia]

It is hard for me. I feel like this even with people I know pretty well. I remember last year when I was just sitting there with my husband and started beating around the bush about it--it was really hard for me to just come one and say I am not a believer. It is not like we have ever been "religious" together, either...but there seems to be something taboo about it. I belong to an online group of friends that I have been with for years, (a private group) and they all know me very well--and I finally just sort of inserted it into a conversation that I didn't believe anymore. I felt so WEIRD about it, even though I was just being honest. The group isn't christian or religious, but you just feel like in a group of people you are going to offend people if you say you are not a believer.

I also found it strange when my son asked me outright if I believed--it was hard for me to actually say that no, I really don't. He is 15 and said he had come to the same conclusion, and I could tell he was relieved that I was honest about it. We have gone to church (when he was younger) and he had a lot of quesitons.

So I get where you are coming from...

Lisa

[Sailor]

I try to avoid religious conversation as much as possible for this reason. It seems like everyone I know is a Christian. I'm an atheist. I notice that as soon as I say the word "atheist" most people get really offended or are taken aback (in a negative way). I think a lot of people perceive the word as anti-theist, as opposed to (a)theist.

So, yea, when the conversation turns toward religion, I cringe when someone asks me what I believe. Not because I'm ashamed of my own beliefs, but because I don't want to 1. make them uncomfortable, 2. potentially hear some sermon on conversion, 3. have the conversation become awkward. Mainly that's what happens, IME.

In general, I think if you're outside of the "majority" religions, then it becomes difficult to practice and/or admit one's beliefs.

[CariOfOz]

Originally Posted by Sailor

I try to avoid religious conversation as much as possible for this reason. It seems like everyone I know is a Christian. I'm an atheist. I notice that as soon as I say the word "atheist" most people get really offended or are taken aback (in a negative way). I think a lot of people perceive the word as anti-theist, as opposed to (a)theist.

So, yea, when the conversation turns toward religion, I cringe when someone asks me what I believe. Not because I'm ashamed of my own beliefs, but because I don't want to 1. make them uncomfortable, 2. potentially hear some sermon on conversion, 3. have the conversation become awkward. Mainly that's what happens, IME.

In general, I think if you're outside of the "majority" religions, then it becomes difficult to practice and/or admit one's beliefs.

Bolded bits mine. I am a fairly 'out' Pagan, I don't really care who knows.. but to avoid the preachyness, or the awkward silence as they try to work out what that means I think of THEIR choices ... I try to avoid religious discussions too.

I used to feel uncomfortable coming out & saying I'm Pagan, but I think the older I get, the less I care what someone else thinks of my choice of spiritual path So, IF someone really wants to discuss religion I don't dance around it... but I also don't tolerate being preached to about it and if it heads that way, I end the discussion and walk away.

[lavender_mama]

It's hard for me. Most people are Christian, and they have a hard time understanding that someone might not believe in God. People are aware of other religions, but generally if you're Christian then you surround yourself with other Christians.

But even though it's hard for me to say it out loud to people for fear of judgement or uncomfortable conversation, I say it anyway. I say it because it should be just as acceptable to not be Christian as it is to be Christian, and I don't think it's fair that I should hide myself out of fear of ridicule.

But to answer your question, yes. It's really, really hard to be open about my disbelief.

[notjustmamie]

Well, I am a Christian ... but I'm certainly not the same sort of Christian as those among whom I was raised. In fact, some of "those" Christians probably wouldn't agree that I'm still a Christian. My theology has changed a lot in the last 10-15 years. Mostly, like many of you, I just don't talk about it a lot. It's easier to just blend unless/until a specific issue comes up that requires me to explain how my views have changed or why DH and I are not teaching DD the same things we were taught.

[Freud]

It's not hard for me at all. I, too, attempt to avoid religious conversations, unless it is someone who shares my beliefs or lack thereof. I am personally done with being preached to by people of any religion. I've become really good at saying, "I'm not going to talk about this now." But, there have been times where people have asked and I have told without difficulty. I find the hardest part is when people ask me to pray for them or something going on in their lives. Awkward.

[Teenytoona]

Originally Posted by Sailor

I try to avoid religious conversation as much as possible for this reason. It seems like everyone I know is a Christian. I'm an atheist. I notice that as soon as I say the word "atheist" most people get really offended or are taken aback (in a negative way). I think a lot of people perceive the word as anti-theist, as opposed to (a)theist.

So, yea, when the conversation turns toward religion, I cringe when someone asks me what I believe. Not because I'm ashamed of my own beliefs, but because I don't want to 1. make them uncomfortable, 2. potentially hear some sermon on conversion, 3. have the conversation become awkward. Mainly that's what happens, IME.

In general, I think if you're outside of the "majority" religions, then it becomes difficult to practice and/or admit one's beliefs.

Originally Posted by CariOfOz

Bolded bits mine. I am a fairly 'out' Pagan, I don't really care who knows.. but to avoid the preachyness, or the awkward silence as they try to work out what that means I think of THEIR choices ... I try to avoid religious discussions too.

Yeap, same here. There are certain situations I'm more comfortable talking about my beliefs than others. At work, I don't mention it. Sometimes I say I was raised Catholic (which I was), there are alot of Catholic folks here, so I can relate to what they say. I guess they just assume I'm one of those laspsed sorts. Telling people you're a Pagan usually results in wierdness, and I just don't want to have that topic open up at work. Seriously, many people still think Pagans drink kitten blood or goddessknowswhat, so I'm not about to open up that can of worms. heh.

But with friends & family, I'll tell them if asked. Usually it is accompanied by the requisite "we don't drink kitten blood" and they STILL come away from it thinking a. I don't believe in a higher power and b. don't like prayer/don't have a concept of faith. Too many people think non-Christian = belief in nothing, and lordy there are alot more choices than Christian out there.

[the_lissa]

It wasn't hard for me, but most people I know aren't CHristian, or very nominally if they are.

[2xy]

It's not difficult for me at all, and I really don't go out of my way to avoid religious discussion.

Personally, I think that if more non-believers and other non-Christians would be more vocal, then the stigma that goes with the words "Pagan" or "atheist" would begin to disappear.

[MommyofHero]

Originally Posted by 2xy

It's not difficult for me at all, and I really don't go out of my way to avoid religious discussion.

Personally, I think that if more non-believers and other non-Christians would be more vocal, then the stigma that goes with the words "Pagan" or "atheist" would begin to disappear.

yes, this!

religion is a taboo subject. uhh, WHY?

it seems like questions such as "why are we here," etc should be a major topic of discussion amongst us "intelligent" species.

instead we are supposed to tip-toe around so as not to offend those who structure their lives around such grandiose folklore....?

doesn't make sense to me, personally.

i will openly discuss any and every idea with whoever desires to engage. i don't feel there is anything more important than exploring & discovering new concepts/perspectives and existential ideas of being, of self, of "god", of the universe. the way one chooses to view this reality, after all, affects EVERYTHING in one's life.

the only reason we don't talk about stuff more is because of fear. fear of progress, fear of changing, fear of what others might think, fear of what might happen if one doesn't "believe"...

screw fear, i'll talk about anything.

(by the way, i was raised in cultish, abusive Christian extremism. i'm actually grateful for that experience because it has expanded my perception of reality, though it does make me sad to see family members grappling to such feeble-minded, submissive concepts... regardless of what others choose to believe, i am PROUD to have freed my mind!!:

[philomom]

Not since I moved away from the bible belt.

[Evergreen]

I do not have a hard time saying so if it comes up. It seems like it doesn't come up very often, though. For instance, my MIL does not know and I think it would make things less awkward if she did, but so far she hasn't said anything blatantly assuming I am Christian or my kids are so I haven't had the opportunity to correct her.

[greenmagick]

Originally Posted by 2xy

It's not difficult for me at all, and I really don't go out of my way to avoid religious discussion.

Personally, I think that if more non-believers and other non-Christians would be more vocal, then the stigma that goes with the words "Pagan" or "atheist" would begin to disappear.

:

[CariOfOz]

Originally Posted by 2xy

Personally, I think that if more non-believers and other non-Christians would be more vocal, then the stigma that goes with the words "Pagan" or "atheist" would begin to disappear.

[siobhang]

My get out of jail card is to call myself UU. Most people not familiar with UU think it is another brand of Christian. And depending on the audience, I will leave it at that.

But I also often openly state that my family is NOT Christian if the topic arises. This may lead to interesting conversations about UU, actually. My own form of evangelicalism?

The other day, an acquaintance of mine made some mildly derogatory comment about atheists, and I replied "Actually, I consider myself an atheist". She said that she thought I was active in my church, and I explained to her that UUs are often Atheists or agnostics, though we also have pagans, wiccans, buddists, jews, and even *gasp* Christians.

[KMK_Mama]

Not at all. "Christianity" isn't a club I would ever want to be a part of.

I'm an out and proud atheist.

[Magelet]

nope. I'm proud of being jewish. I also don't avoid discussion about religion with most people, jewish, christian, other religions or athiest. (often, because of the cultural aspects of judaism, this is a cultural/religious discussion on my part.)

I find it fascinating talking to people about their beliefs as long as they aren't preachy about it, and I try very hard not to be preachy about it. I try to explain my religion and beliefs as mine, while trying to respecting other peoples. I think it usually comes off that way to folks, because people usually ask more questions, not get turned off.

I will admit, there are some people with whom I don't discuss religion, or certain select topics that somehow in their mind relate to religion (ex: a friend who does not believe in evolution, but in genesis as a literal interpretation of the creation of the world, and is very closed minded and preachy in her discussion of this and other things. Its not that I'm scared to tell her I beleive otherwise, its that I don't want to get preached at, and I know that trying to engage her in a discussion about it is pointless, because we'll both get pissed off.) This is never out of fear, but often out of a desire not to get preached at.

[chipper26]

Originally Posted by MommyofHero

yes, this!

religion is a taboo subject. uhh, WHY?

it seems like questions such as "why are we here," etc should be a major topic of discussion amongst us "intelligent" species.

instead we are supposed to tip-toe around so as not to offend those who structure their lives around such grandiose folklore....?

doesn't make sense to me, personally.

i will openly discuss any and every idea with whoever desires to engage. i don't feel there is anything more important than exploring & discovering new concepts/perspectives and existential ideas of being, of self, of "god", of the universe. the way one chooses to view this reality, after all, affects EVERYTHING in one's life.

the only reason we don't talk about stuff more is because of fear. fear of progress, fear of changing, fear of what others might think, fear of what might happen if one doesn't "believe"...

screw fear, i'll talk about anything.

(by the way, i was raised in cultish, abusive Christian extremism. i'm actually grateful for that experience because it has expanded my perception of reality, though it does make me sad to see family members grappling to such feeble-minded, submissive concepts... regardless of what others choose to believe, i am PROUD to have freed my mind!!:

Good for you for freeing your mind... I've been doing the same. I agree that it shouldn't be taboo, and with most friends I can be rather open, but when family members are worried that you are going straight to hell and would like nothing more than to convert you back to the mind numbing fold, it becomes difficult.

Or, someone like my mom, would just secretly worry about me and my salvation and possibly wonder where she went wrong.

Sometimes things are better left unsaid. I don't know.

[chipper26]

Originally Posted by siobhang

My get out of jail card is to call myself UU. Most people not familiar with UU think it is another brand of Christian. And depending on the audience, I will leave it at that.

But I also often openly state that my family is NOT Christian if the topic arises. This may lead to interesting conversations about UU, actually. My own form of evangelicalism?

The other day, an acquaintance of mine made some mildly derogatory comment about atheists, and I replied "Actually, I consider myself an atheist". She said that she thought I was active in my church, and I explained to her that UUs are often Atheists or agnostics, though we also have pagans, wiccans, buddists, jews, and even *gasp* Christians.

I've been thinking of attending a UU church... for some wisdom and community. These are things I miss about church... especially the sense of community. I think my brother would have a heart attack if he found out I was attending a UU church.

I feel like I need to protect him for a few reasons. Some of them valid.