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Mama's giving birth for the second or more times....poll - Page 6

Poll Results: Are you afraid to give birth again?

 
  • 74% (248)
    No, I am not afraid
  • 25% (87)
    Yes, I am afraid
335 Total Votes  
post #101 of 115
If asked this when pregnant with my second the answer would be yes. I was a little nervous with my second birth because I had a negative experience with my dd with a bad on call care dr. and really bad pitocen contractions that made me feel out of control. The way the caregiver talked to me and strong armed me into something I didn't want made me feel inadequate even though I at least ended up with a vaginal delivery. I wasn't as confident as I wanted to be for my second. I prepared better and found a better care provider and a doula but I still had my first experience in the back of my mind.

This time around I'm not nervous and I am looking foward to birth and the answer is no. I had a great experience with my ds and it brought back my confidence. It was a great experience. Right afterwards I said I could do that again. I now know that labor makes you vulnerable to stand up for what you want so I will get another doula just in case .
post #102 of 115
Nope not afraid! Loved my first (and only) labor/birth experience. I was induced (not the option I wanted) but had DS about 9 hours after starting pit. Doula was amazing and helped me have the natural unmedicated labor that I wanted. It was the most intense and empowering experience of my life. I am actually looking forward to this one. Will use water and NO induction this time (changed providers so they are willing to allow me to go to 42 weeks, if necessary).
post #103 of 115
This will be my third natural birth, second homebirth. I'm not afraid of anything going wrong with the birth, but I am nervous about going through the pain again. I was shocked by how painful labor was, both times, and I know I've forgotten the pain again and will have to remember. But I know it's worth it and I can do it. Also, I know the afterpains get worse after each baby and they hurt a LOT last time so I know it will be awful this time around.
post #104 of 115
I am the exact opposite of some of the posters.

I am not worried about the pain, I am scared of something going wrong.
With my previous DD, they found some medical problems the day that I was induced, and risked me out of midwife care for a crash induction. Labor and delivery was intense and painful, but I felt like I could handle it. Where I was emotionally was much more difficult to handle, because I didn't know how bad her problems would be and whether she would have long term problems from it.

I guess my fear is not about *birth* itself, but that is just the turning point were I meet the babe for real and see if eveything is OK.
post #105 of 115
I would say a bit nervous too- but I'm not sure why. This will be #2 for me and the first went perfect- no drugs, no interventions, fast delivery. So I'm not really getting why I have a bit more nerves this go round. I guess with the first time, I had no experience and that was really a good thing for me, not bad.
post #106 of 115
I wish there was a yes and no option!

Birthing DD was an intense, intimate experience. It really brought me closer to DH in ways I could not have described or been aware of beforehand. I'm grateful to the underground community and the MW who helped us out w/o questions asked. I know my body can do this! And I'm confident in that aspect.

But then the grueling parts get to me and I find little what ifs surfacing. For example, DD was very large and malpositioned. It was a long, long labor. How will that work with a toddler? I labored hard for several days...how will I care for her? At the same time, I really hope she can be present for the birth.

And then, I tore a lot last time. I don't want to do that again. I worry about that.

And the big, useless what ifs sometimes get to me. I feel that I've read a lot of stories since my last birth...I got into activism and some very strong ladies shared a dark side of the world with me. I have different thoughts in my head as opposed to the first time around. It feels to me that everything just...worked out for DD. Part of me whispers...will it just magically work out again?

But overall I've made a conscious decision to be positive and to remain confident and strong. I'm praying and hoping and preparing for a peaceful waterbirth with DH and DD. And hopefully we'll get a few pictures too.
post #107 of 115
I am afraid because my first ended in a c-section and I am trying for a VBAC this time.
post #108 of 115

i have had three home births

i was a bit afraid after my second birth. she came so fast and was quite big (10lbs5oz) from the first contraction to birthing her was around 4 hours and it just felt like it was too much too fast.. but her birth up till her head was born was normal, then she had sticky shoulders and it was scary for a few moments (more for dp than me)
i knew that there was a random chance that it could happen again (or other bad things) but i also felt like i had given birth twice before and i could do it again and my third birth was completely amazing in every way.
im actually really excited to give birth again!
post #109 of 115
I was fearful of my second birth because I ended up having to have my first removed by forceps- and her birth was long and exhausting (NO NOURISHMENT to revive my energy + laying on my back the whole time).

However, my second birth went great for a hospital birth.

When it came to my third, I knew that I could do it, and I knew it would be even better because I wouldn't be in some strange environment with strangers (nurses) coming in and out. We opted for an unassisted homebirth and it went WONDERFULLY. I wasn't really scared at all. I had a natural sense of fear, knowing that things could go wrong, but I knew God was watching over and I had a sense that things were going to go beautifully.. and they did.

I am not fearful of this labor at all. I'm actually REALLY looking forward to it. I think being informed on how natural labor is- reading about the domino effect of the hormones and the best birthing positions really helps calm ones fears.

Read articles and books by Michel Odent, and I think you cannot help but be inspired and look forward to birthing!
post #110 of 115
I am a bit worried that something will go wrong, but I labored at home with my first until it became obvious he was in distress (he had a true knot that was tightening on descent, and that's unlikely to happen a second time. I hope!), and the hospital interventions including a vacuum extract weren't nearly as bad as I would have thought. There is a little performance anxiety, as I know that each labor is different, and I'd really like to get my waterbirth this time, especially as this will be our last child, but in general, I'm feeling pretty good about the birth.

Now, ask me how I'm feeling about the sleep deprivation with a newborn and a toddler! That's the kind of thing I'm actually dreading.
post #111 of 115
Yes, but not of the acutal birthing process.

I am more afraid to have a c-sec this time bec of the longer recovery. The hosp near us wont allow children under 18 to visit in the hosp, so a sect would mean a longer time away from my 20mo DS.
post #112 of 115
I had horrible, horrible back labor with my first almost 4 years ago. The birthing tub didnt help it was so bad. Am I scared, afraid of labor this time? Actually, no (oddly enough I wasn't the last time either even though I'm a wimp about pain). I know now to keep checking for posterior baby and actually try and prevent it this time, plus instead of giving birth at hospital with CNM's I'm planning on birth center or home waterbirth with a MW.

Same as last time though, the thing I am most concerned about (and trying not to be afraid about) is ending up with a csection.
post #113 of 115
Quote:
Originally Posted by olien View Post
Yes, but not of the acutal birthing process.

I am more afraid to have a c-sec this time bec of the longer recovery. The hosp near us wont allow children under 18 to visit in the hosp, so a sect would mean a longer time away from my 20mo DS.
IF they are doing this for the flu season (H1N1 precautions), you might check and see if they've dropped this. The hospitals in my area were the same, but this last week or so they dropped the ban. However, they were very, very quiet about it, and I only knew because my midwife was telling people that they could bring their kids for appointments now.
post #114 of 115
I have really made an effort to inform myself and I feel that has really helped me through the little snippets of fear that do sometimes come. Knowledge is power! read up on natural birth, the natural process, and birth stories. For me, it was my first that I wasn't sure of (after a traumatic miscarriage). But I read all I could. the next was much easier for me and I was much more confident--so much so that my MW didn't believe that I was in true labor and I ended up delivering en route! My third was another leap of faith as I decided on HB. I am confident in my body and the process of birth.
post #115 of 115
Quote:
Originally Posted by kitkatkaddoodle View Post
IF they are doing this for the flu season (H1N1 precautions), you might check and see if they've dropped this. The hospitals in my area were the same, but this last week or so they dropped the ban. However, they were very, very quiet about it, and I only knew because my midwife was telling people that they could bring their kids for appointments now.
Yes, this is why. 3wks ago I was there for an US & they told me it was still in place. I asked my OB last week if it still was in effect & he said it was - that there were a few new out breaks in the area, but I will keep asking. Maybe there is still hope if your hosps are ending it.
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