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Mama's giving birth for the second or more times....poll - Page 2

Poll Results: Are you afraid to give birth again?

  • 74% (248)
    No, I am not afraid
  • 25% (87)
    Yes, I am afraid
335 Total Votes  
post #21 of 115
I voted "not afraid" but will clarify. I was nervous but not afraid about my first birth, because I had prepared myself (and hired a good doula) and was confident that I could do it. It was more difficult than I'd expected but I came through it fine and upon reflection felt that it was a really good indicator that I'd be able to handle anything in future births. (DD1 was posterior and my labor didn't progress; I ended up with cytotec, pitocin, an epidural and almost 3 hours of pushing, but hey, I got her out the preferred path after all, which was quite an accomplishment, y'know?)

So when my second birth came around I was again nervous but not afraid -- I expected it to be easier than my first but had no idea if that would actually be the case. It was; her birth was quick and not very painful; I felt positively triumphant afterwards.

This is my third time around and I'm really looking forward to it. There is still some "stage fright" type nervousness, but I expect the process to go well once again. And if it doesn't I'll have professionals there to help me, so there's not much point in fearing that at this stage.
post #22 of 115
I am another that is looking forward to it!!!

I really love the birthing part of pregnancy... especially now that I have UCed and seen what birth can be like when there is no stress and I am able to go inside myself completely...

I am looking forward to giving birth again in a few months
post #23 of 115
Definitely not afraid of labor/birth. Never have been.
post #24 of 115
I am so looking forward to laboring at home again. It was hard work, but so awesome at the same time. My first was hospital born & lots of things happened & my 2nd was homeborn--totally different atmosphere & so cool.

We are planning our 3rd waterbirth, but hopefully it will actually happen instead of not like the first 2.
post #25 of 115
I'm a little afraid since last time I gae birth in a wonderful British birth center where I had access to competent, mom-centered, evidence based care, plus pain relief at the same time. Now I am in home in the US and feel I have no choice but to give birth at home. I think I can probably do it, but I am afraid of unmitigated childbirth pain. I am also REALLY afraid of having to go to a US hospital if something goes wrong and having to deal not only with the completely messed up system there, but also with the hostility that is sure to confront me as a homebirth attemptor.

I have actually wracked my brain for any way that I can financially go to Europe (either the the UK again or my husband's country, Finland) to give birth the second time. Its just not possible...I would have to leave work a month early, and then take care of my current baby myself until I went into labor, and there's no guarantee my husband could make it there in time.

I should be able to do what my ancestors have done for all of human history until my grandma. But its daunting. I hate the US healthcare system so much right now. Even more than usual.
post #26 of 115
I had a long/traumatic birth and my baby stayed in the NICU five days, but I am not afraid to give birth. I feel like this is a fresh start - a chance to learn from the problems with the last birth. I am very hopeful.
post #27 of 115
I am baking number 10 and I am not afraid at all. Even back on number 2 and three I had no fear. I guess I was too nieve to be afraid then, and too much experience under my belt now.
post #28 of 115
Nope, not at all afraid. My midwife is super skilled and even at the worst part of my labor the last time, she knew that she had to get the baby out right away or I was going to wilt. She pulled all her tricks out and got that baby out of me in record time. 8 hours of labor, only 1 hour 45 minutes active hard labor. I feel like this time around I'll be even more prepared.
post #29 of 115
I haven't read all of the replies. But I checked "Yes." My first experience gave me, shall we say, a bite of "reality sandwich!" Before then, I'd just watched those silly Hypnobirthing videos of women "breathing out" their babies , and I deluded myself into thinking that I could be one of them.

On the other hand, to a degree I'm not as afraid this round simply because I realize how out of my control birth is. How's that for a paradox?
post #30 of 115
I'll be honest. I'm a bit afraid of labor this time. This will be my third. But, I'm not afraid of the pain or the length (though shorter would be better!) I'm afraid of bleeding again. I've had two PPH's. I'm going to be more proactive this time. I'll start taking iron supplements during my second trimester and will be asking my midwife next time I see her what else does she recommend with my history. I'll also be having this baby in the hospital where the happy blood products live, so that will ease my stress a little (my second was a home birth and I should have transferred, but refused (I was in shock) It wasn't a pretty sight.)
post #31 of 115
I am not afraid of labor/birth itself at all. I agree with others - I'm really quite excited to do it again. I found it to be the most amazing experience of my life. I am a little afraid to have some problem like we did with Gideon, but I know it was a fluke. I am trying to embrace and move past that fear - different baby, different labor, different birth.
post #32 of 115
I'm somewhere between 'yes' and 'no' I'm not scared of the pain, but I am nervous about something bad happening to my baby during the process.

Given the fact that I just had a c/s four months ago, and there will only be 13 mos between my births (this one will be a VBAC,) I can't deny that there is some fear in me of all the things that can go wrong.
I'm working on it. I'm hopeful that it will be a beautiful, healing experience.
post #33 of 115
I am excited to give birth this time, and am looking forward to the whole experience. Having said that, I do have certain fears which I think I would be naive to ignore...
I worry about tearing again (I had a 4th degree last time);
I worry about the disappointment if we had to transfer to the hospital for any reason.

It is very tempting for me to ignore these concerns and rely only on positive affirmations, but that is what I did last time and it didn't serve me very well when things didn't go the way I had hoped.
This time I am trying to be more honest with myself in the hope of being better prepared
post #34 of 115
Not afraid per se. Curious and somewhat nervous might better describe it. My first birth was natural, at a birth center in a hospital. Labor (the part I was most scared of enduring) was hard work, but easier than I thought it would be. Pushing, the part that I didn't worry about at all prior to labor, was much more difficult. I felt really out of control, like the room started to fill with unfamiliar faces, "had to" have 2 episiotomies (ended up being 3rd degree all told) because the baby's heart tones were not recovering well after each contraction...if I hadn't pushed him out when I did, they had the vaccuum extractor laying in wait. Really, really stressful for me. So I'm nervous about pushing this time.

I'm also a tad nervous because I'll be in a different setting this time - I'm having a homebirth, which is new, so the logistics right now seem a little up in the air. I know all the details will work out (I have until February, after all ), but that's a consideration. Same with care for DS while birthing - I know my mom will be here to help care for him (if all goes as planned - she does live 3 hours away, so hoping timing is right). But we also have a pretty small house and I'm concerned about them needing to be away from the house if the labor is long - it'll be winter and my mom's not terribly comfortable driving in unfamiliar territory.

So the birth itself - I need to work through some of my past pushing issues. But a lot of it is just fear over the lack of control of circumstances, etc.
post #35 of 115
I'm actually looking forward to it. Last time was a pitocin induction with no pain meds, so I'm hoping for a natural labor this time out.
post #36 of 115
I've been pregnant and given birth three times.

IME, birth is the EASY part of the whole experience!

I was nervous about my first birth. I had no reason to be nervous or afraid of birth the 2nd or 3rd times around.
post #37 of 115
I'm concerned. Last time round (#4) I had a short sharp labour, and frankly, repeating that isn't on my to-do list. Not afraid, because I know I can get through anything (except possibly 2 hours of a single contraction) but I'm getting my ducks in a row- water, TENS, and so on- to get me through it.
post #38 of 115
I wasn't afraid at all the first time around. And then I had a pain med free labor induced with arom and pitocin. Ouch. But I did it.

This time around, I am more aware of the possibility of how painful it can be, but I am not afraid. I'm reading up on natural ways to manage labor pain, and I am giving birth outside of a hospital in a more comfortable location with a midwife I trust and admire very much. So no, not afraid.
post #39 of 115
With #2 and #3 I was not afraid at all. I'm not pg right now and may never be, we are undecided about a 4th but for the first time in my life I am afraid! I never even was with #1. My labor with the last one though felt like I had been hit by a semi from the first contraction and it only got worse. I seriously understand now when some people say they thought they were going to die from the pain. I really don't care to repeat that experience ever again. Now if I could wish for a labor like I had with 1 and 2, even another 20 hour labor, then that I could handle and not be afraid.
post #40 of 115
I was very afraid when I first found out I was pregnant. My daughter's birth was tramatic. But, I've been doing a lot of work and I am not nearly as afraid now. It really depends on the day. There are still days I start to feel afraid again, but I try to remind myself of all I've learned and read about how it can be different this time and it calms me down.
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