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Mama's giving birth for the second or more times....poll - Page 4

Poll Results: Are you afraid to give birth again?

 
  • 74% (248)
    No, I am not afraid
  • 25% (87)
    Yes, I am afraid
335 Total Votes  
post #61 of 115
Quote:
Originally Posted by zjande View Post
I'm afraid! And this is baby #5!

I have lovely natural births, & always have the greatest mind blowing highs immediately afterward, but giving birth FrEaKInG HURTs! LOL I'm just 31 weeks now though, I have plenty of weeks to work on my birth affirmations, my confidence, & my peaceful excitement. I know that by the time I am 40 weeks along & SOOooOOoo uncomfortable, I'll be so impatient to hurry up & go into labor that I'll practically be a crazy person! lol

So yeah, not looking forward to the pain, but know that it is incredibly worth it.
i really think we are twins!!!

i am obviously afraid of ptl/birth and all that comes with that, but i am also afraid that i won't be able to tolerate the pain. yes, it's exciting and wonderful and worth it, but if you say labor doesn't hurt you are kidding yourself. i have ALL back labor, too. my last birth was a pitocin induction with an epidural. it was a pretty good birth despite baby being cord wrapped X2 and other 'issues' but i was in pain for 15 months from a nerve that was nicked during the epidural. my first 3 births were natural, so i know i can do it!

i'm taking a crash course in patience and coping here in the hospital. i hope that helps me attain calmness during the birth because i do not want to repeat the whole epidural fiasco.
post #62 of 115
I voted "yes". I am not currently pregnant (not confirmed, am waiting to test) and the thought of another birth scares the crap out of me. Warning: graphic labour horror story follows.

My first (and only, so far) birth was a horror story to one who is as control-freakish as I am. I wanted a home birth using a birthing tub. No interventions, no tearing, midwife. What I GOT was a GBS pos test result, an early amniotic sac rupture (high) which resulted in threats (from another midwife) of hospital/being induced, etc) if I didn't go into labour RIGHT NOW (had been experiencing super mild contractions to that point). I went thru another 6 hours of mild cx until a different midwife came and, during cervical check, accidentally ruptured (completely) my amniotic sac. Huh? Thought it was already ruptured....

This pushed me directly into hardcore active labour (not a nice transition) that shocked me with it's intensity. Like another poster, I was in a self-deluded state re "it's not gonna hurt" Hypnobabies (totally my own fault, I suppose) and with zero break between most contractions, was not ready. Add in the defective birthing tub heater and things sucked. THEN my blood pressure was through the roof, the baby's HR was high...I ended up with a transfer and a recommended epidural to bring down my BP (which it DIDN'T, by the way...and it didn't even work as half my body still felt pain. What a ripoff).

I had a cervical lip that wouldn't go away, so the midwife and the OB on call "helped" me push DD past it . Then I couldn't get her past my pubic bone..hours after hours of pushing, a total of 3 hours that felt like 30. Finally, BP so high, baby's HR so high, plus now meconium in the amniotic fluid, I was threatened with C section if I didn't get her out right away. Still unable, even with help from OB. So I ended up with a forceps delivery (was absolutely terrified of that) and a minor tear, which was the LEAST of my worries. On the way past my pubic bone, DD broke my tailbone. That was why I couldn't get her past it myself, I assume. The broken tailbone is still healing, 15 months later. What should have been a euphoric few weeks post birth was hell due to the fracture.

Baby was taken from me immediately to have deep suction but she cried before they got her there so they didn't bother. But I didn't get to hold her for almost 10 minutes. Then the OB pulled the cord to get placenta out (rushed due to premature birth coming in behind me) and 6 hours later I ended up with major blood loss (that eventually required blood transfusion)-either from pushing before fully dilated (at THEIR urging), or from the placenta being pulled out. 2 manual clot removals later (the most painful thing I've experienced considering my tailbone was broken) I was ready to die.

After birth my BP didn't drop but went up further, requiring me to go on drugs for almost 8 weeks to control it.

But...baby healthy, great breastfeeding relationship (still am!) and might be pregnant now, unexpectedly.

My plans this time around will include a hospital birth just in case of blood loss, and midwife again, and will try Hypnobabies again. I will work on relaxing and letting it happen, and giving up on the panic I felt when I thought I might have to be induced. I am terrified of interventions and being bullied. Not looking forward to the pain, though. And I am absolutely petrified my tailbone will break again. I've been told that second births are easier, and I'm praying for that to be true.

So.
post #63 of 115
All I can do is offer a . If you do get a BFP, I hope you get your uneventful labor this time around!
post #64 of 115
I'm afraid.

I had a home birth and it went really well overall, but there were a few minor complications. I had a cervical lip and pushed against it for a couple of hours, part of the time with the MW's hand in my vagina holding the lip aside. I tore and lost a lot of blood, barely avoiding a trip to the hospital. I was just so weak and out of it, and the pain completely blew my mind.

I'm actually more scared that I'm scared, if that makes sense. I know labor wont' go as well if I'm nervous and scared, so it's something I want to work on before getting pregnant again. It's getting close to time, though! *shiver*
post #65 of 115
Quote:
Originally Posted by Astraia View Post
I voted not afraid.

I won't say I'm looking forward to it- whenever I get diarrhea cramps I think to myself, "oh lord, there's going to be another 10 hrs of this pain pretty soon!"
I laughed out loud at this- this is me exactly. Every time I have any gas cramps or stomach upsets, I keep telling myself "Girl, it's gonna get a WHOLE lot worse that this!"
post #66 of 115
Quote:
Originally Posted by To-Fu View Post
I'm actually more scared that I'm scared, if that makes sense. I know labor wont' go as well if I'm nervous and scared, so it's something I want to work on before getting pregnant again. It's getting close to time, though! *shiver*
In Birthing from Within the author talks about "worry being the work of pregnancy," and how, in her experience, the people who worry (and deal with those emotions) are actually more likely to have the births they hope for. I'm sure this is not true in all cases (I think these might have been first time parents), but I think her point was that if you don't worry at all, there is a chance you're repressing feelings that are sure to surface during labor and complicate things. So, I think it's good that you're in touch with your scared feelings.

(I'm hoping not to offend those of you who say you are not scared at all. I'm sure you all have already explored your feelings fully through your past experiences!)
post #67 of 115
Quote:
Originally Posted by chai View Post
In Birthing from Within the author talks about "worry being the work of pregnancy," and how, in her experience, the people who worry (and deal with those emotions) are actually more likely to have the births they hope for. I'm sure this is not true in all cases (I think these might have been first time parents), but I think her point was that if you don't worry at all, there is a chance you're repressing feelings that are sure to surface during labor and complicate things. So, I think it's good that you're in touch with your scared feelings.

(I'm hoping not to offend those of you who say you are not scared at all. I'm sure you all have already explored your feelings fully through your past experiences!)

That's really neat! I figured that book was on my "must read" list for a reason!
post #68 of 115
I wouldn't necessarily use the word afraid either, but I am nervous that I will be unable to progress, like the first time. [I ended up with a c-section and baby in NICU for a little while - he had a little respitory trouble, nothing too scary].

And I am actually afraid of tearing badly.
post #69 of 115
Quote:
Originally Posted by akat View Post
I wouldn't necessarily use the word afraid either, but I am nervous that I will be unable to progress, like the first time. [I ended up with a c-section and baby in NICU for a little while - he had a little respitory trouble, nothing too scary].

And I am actually afraid of tearing badly.
I am pretty nervous about re-tearing my rather large episiotomy that never quite healed right. I really need to work on my visualization with this, because what I see right now when I think about it is not pleasant.
post #70 of 115
I'm absolutely terrified.

My first birth was okay. Labor was great, but I had a 4th degree tear. Second birth was horrendous. DS was born with an APGAR of 2, and went directly into the NICU. I just pray that everything goes well this time.
post #71 of 115
Yes, a bit. I had a labor that was very painful but accomplished nothing (in terms of dilation) - and I ended up with a c-section that I absolutely did not want. So I am definitely nervous.
post #72 of 115
No, this time around (second) I'm not worried. It hurts, really, really hurts but I am far more confident this time that I can deal. I'm a bit excited about it actually, my first birth was fast and furious and I'm hoping for the same this time around.

Now. Bringing home a newborn again. THAT I'm terrified of.
post #73 of 115
I said "Yes." But, that's a really simple answer. If I was REALLY afraid, I wouldn't be having a home birth. I'm in a very different position than I was with first baby. I had an amazing support network before and I think being a little naive always helps. This time, I am in a new town as we recently moved and we now live in an area that is NOT homebirth or natural health friendly. So...I don't really think anything bad is going to happen, but if something happens it for sure will not go as smoothly and I won't have the same resources that I did before.

So I guess the main thing is that I don't have as much confidence in the things outside of my control. I am also not in near as good of physical shape as I was with my first as I was exercising regular, recieving regular chiro adjustments, and eating a lot healthier. Our lifestyle just completely got knocked out of wack with the move.
post #74 of 115
I am scared b/c Ive never even gone into labor! DD was a scheduled breech c/s, so my only real "choices" this time around are midwives at giant baby-factory hospital or UC. Id prefer UC, but Im scared about that, too! I am not scared of having another c/s. If I end up w/ one, it's no big deal as Ive done that before!
post #75 of 115
I'm somewhat afraid, but not completely. With Hunter everytime I would think about birth I'd almost throw up. I was so nervous. With this one I'm not as scared, but I'm having a homebirth and I'm scared I'd have to be transfered, even though I know its a slim chance.
post #76 of 115
No, I'm not really afraid. I might say I'm intimidated, by the idea: it's a LOT of effort to give birth, and of course many things could go wrong which would lead to me not having the birth experience I'm hoping for. Then again, while many things COULD go wrong, chances are it'll all be just fine.

I think I'm really more afraid of the newborn stage. I had a lot of post-partum anxiety and some PPD with DD, and I am kinda of afraid of that again. Especially since DH's new job means he'll only have about 1 week of leave. My MIL is coming for 2 weeks but it's yet to be seen whether she'll be helpful or stressful. And I don't really look forward to knowing that it'll be like 2 more years before I get to sleep though the night again.

I actually had my first baby-related nightmare 2 nights ago and it was about having given birth in the hospital and having the baby sent to the NICU overnight, and when he got back they'd filled him all up with formula and he wouldn't nurse.
post #77 of 115
Yes, I am very afraid b/c I do not want another L&D like my first. It was awful! I had to be induced, pitocin was horrible, I had high bp and had to stay in bed on my side, ds had to be rushed to the NICU....I could go on. VERY traumatic.
post #78 of 115
Quote:
Originally Posted by Aufilia View Post

I actually had my first baby-related nightmare 2 nights ago and it was about having given birth in the hospital and having the baby sent to the NICU overnight, and when he got back they'd filled him all up with formula and he wouldn't nurse.
This happened to me! He was in the NICU for 2 nights. They gave him formula & pacifiers (against my wishes) and he had the hardest time latching on. I had to use a nipple shield for 8 weeks and was in severe pain for a few months. It has a happy ending though b/c he nursed until he was over 4 y.o!
post #79 of 115
I had 2 easy births ( the girls) and 2 rather difficult births ( the boys). They came G,B,G,B. So I guess my take on it at this point is that every pregnancy is different, so I am not going to psych myself up when I don't know what the out come will be.
post #80 of 115
im actually quite looking forward to it im sure once the time is nearer i'll be a bit nervous but all in all im excited about having my homebirth waterbirth
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