dumb doc appt.

[SummerLynn]

Was relatively uneventful as far as things go, my blood pressure was 122/70 (Excellent!) I've gained one pound so far (also good) baby's HB was 148 (good too)! So then the Dr. came in and did his "thing" down there, all the while babbling about me wanting a VBAC, and asking me basically why I would want such a thing....I explained that i simply wasnt satisfied with my experience the first time around and wanted somthing better. Then we had an....interesting? conversation to say the least. One that to me, makes no logic. Went somthing like this...

Him: Well are you going to get your tubes tied after this baby?
Me: um...no? i'm 23 years old!
Him: well how many kids do you want?
Me: I dont know at this point.
Him: well if your going to stop after two or three I recomend you just do c/s and be done with it, theres a risk of uterine rupture.
Me: i'm well aware of the risks.
Him: well if your planning on having 5 or 6 then you could do a VBAC this time....and c/s for the rest.
Me: (dumb look like wtf you talking about?)
Him: I think you should consider it, and come back and talk to us later on.

So what does it matter if i want two kids, or if i want eight....i still want a VBAC. I dont want a c/s in any event! Consider that butthead!

Other than that, the appointment was the usual pap smear etc. He didnt really comment on anything else.

The nurse practitioner did inform me that I wont have another u/s until 26 weeks (?!) why? well because the "insurance gets pissy if she sends people sooner than that" well thats a buncha bull, but I'm pretty sure i can scheme a way up to get one prior to that Whether I just say "I havent felt the baby move and i'm concerned" or if i just call them up in a few weeks claiming I fell and want to see if everything is ok, i'm sure i'll be able to finangle a way in for an ultra sound because theres no way I can wait until 26 weeks, i wasnt sure i could wait until 20!!!

[KoalaMommy]

I'd be looking for another practitioner, because he's going to be pushing for a c-section. That's his angle right now, that's all he's thinking about. That was what the whole tubes discussion was about. He's wanting to schedule you for a c-section and it's only going to get worse as you go on. You need someone who is supportive of VBAC, he's clearly not.

[mtnmoonmama]

I agree with koalamommy. Find another practioner soon if you can. That is just unacceptable behavior and you need someone who is going to respect you.

[Perdita_in_Ontario]

Completely agree. He will find a way to scare you into having one...

[chai]

Originally Posted by KoalaMommy

I'd be looking for another practitioner, because he's going to be pushing for a c-section. That's his angle right now, that's all he's thinking about. That was what the whole tubes discussion was about. He's wanting to schedule you for a c-section and it's only going to get worse as you go on. You need someone who is supportive of VBAC, he's clearly not.

I agree as well. If he's that pushy now, I'm sure that's what he'll insist upon during labor/delivery.

[SummerLynn]

well, thats not really an option. I have state issued insurance which means i'm pretty much destined to go to a clinic, where the four doctors at the hospital rotate. He may or may not be the one who actually delivers. Aside from switching to a different clinic that deals with a different hospital, and risking the same thing over again, i just dont have many options besides assert myself and simply refuse a c/s. I'm disgusted.

[itsajenism]

I agree with finding another practitioner.

[chai]

Originally Posted by SummerLynn

well, thats not really an option. I have state issued insurance which means i'm pretty much destined to go to a clinic, where the four doctors at the hospital rotate. He may or may not be the one who actually delivers. Aside from switching to a different clinic that deals with a different hospital, and risking the same thing over again, i just dont have many options besides assert myself and simply refuse a c/s. I'm disgusted.

Oh, that's rough. I'm sorry you have to deal with that. Can you get a doula? This may be the best alternative in this situation. She could advocate for you during labor. I'm afraid you won't be in a position to assert yourself during labor...

[KoalaMommy]

I wonder if you could research c-section rates at your different options, perhaps another hospital has a lower rate. I remember finding the c-section rates at my birthing hospital before, though I can't remember where. I asked my OB about the c-section rates in her practice and they are relatively low (that is relative to the national average, they are not as low as they could be), but since I've had 2 normal deliveries, I'm not as worried.

If you do have options about where to go, I would see if you could choose the best option. And while a doula might help, she's not going to prevent a c-section with a doctor who is determined to do one.

If you have to continue going to this guy, I would start lying and tell him you want at least 6 children. 4 doctors on rotation isn't a big enough practice to feel comfortable that your chances of having him for delivery are sufficiently small.

[NicoleS]

He definitely seems a bit odd to me. Only 23 and he's already asking if you want your tubes tied? I'm not that old (28) but I'm definitely not the person I was at 23, so it seems a bit odd to be rushing you to make that decision now.

[SummerLynn]

I'm definately not making any decisions concerning how many children i want at this point, as i truly dont know. Things change, people change, life changes. I'm not ruining a chance of having kids, even if i didnt want any more now, i know that in ten years that can completely change.

I dont have the funds for a doula, but i do have a best friend who is going to be with me every step of the way and be my voice when I'm unable to express myself.

[NicoleS]

I've heard that you might be able to find a doula for less if they are still in training? That might be an option if you really wanted one, though a BFF sounds good too to me. My BFFs are sort of weirded out by the whole birth process.

[tygrss]

Wow! What a jerk. Have you researched the other hospitals that you may be able to switch to (I know that you said you have state insurance)? I would try to go to the most naturally minded place and OB that I could. He is only going to get more pushy as time goes along and I wouldn't be surprised if the other partners in the practice hold similar views.

[SummerLynn]

Originally Posted by NicoleS

I've heard that you might be able to find a doula for less if they are still in training? That might be an option if you really wanted one, though a BFF sounds good too to me. My BFFs are sort of weirded out by the whole birth process.

I did look this route, there werent any in training doulas around, one i found wasnt certified and still wanted 1200!! I just dont have it. But yes my BFF is the one who crunchified me so to speak. So I trust her to voice my opinons better than I think I would a doula.

Originally Posted by tygrss

Wow! What a jerk. Have you researched the other hospitals that you may be able to switch to (I know that you said you have state insurance)? I would try to go to the most naturally minded place and OB that I could. He is only going to get more pushy as time goes along and I wouldn't be surprised if the other partners in the practice hold similar views.

Honestly, I know it cant hurt to look, but I live in a very small and conservative area. I dont know if there are any natural minded OBs around to be quite honest. I do plan on searching further though.

[AlumofUF]

I'm sorry you don't have many options for a dr, he sure sounds awful......I'd take it like a grain of salt and hope you don't have to see him too much....glad your bf will be there throughout to help you!!!

[lulu_n2]

It would be worth checking other hospitals, I live in RURAL TN, talk about small town conservative I was shocked to find that at the smaller of the two hospitals near me (one's 25 min, other's 35 min away) there is an OBGYN that also works with a birthing center and midwives!

[folkgirl]

I would definitely go talk with some of your other options. My reason being - last time I was pregnant I had a bad feeling about my provider. The other provider group I was considering was about an hour away from my home/work, I worried it would be a long drive to the hospital in labor, etc. It just seemed like a pain in the butt. But I think if I had gone with the other practice I would have had a better chance of avoiding my section. Of course I will never know for sure. I just hate the "what if" feeling.

Also, if there is an ICAN group in your area, I would definitely be in touch with them! I don't know where I would be without my group. One definite advantage is if the group is active you may be able to talk to people who have birthed with your current hospital/practice, or others you might be considering, etc. That can be really revealing.

[SummerLynn]

I have looked for an ICAN group, but none around me sadly. THe closest one is about 4 hours north of me. I joined their message board though and that has been a great help too.

[Miss Chris]

I see its been a few days since this thread went up but I wanted to mention one other option.

Tell your doctor you think you might want 7 or 8 kids. Tell him you've always wanted a big family. Tell him whatever you think will help, just convince him that you intend to have a lot of kids, whether this is true or not.

The reason he's asking you (in an incredibly bizarre and insensitive way, btw) is that most doctors believe that a uterus can handle only so many c-sections before it becomes dangerously weakened. So it's not uncommon for an OB to try to determine whether a woman plans to have a large family when considering a VBAC. If there are lots more kids on the agenda the Doc might be more supportive of vaginal birth this time. If you can't leave the practice your only option really is to work with what you've got. I say lie like a rug. By the time you decide whether or not you really want more kids this guy will be just a happy memory.

Good luck

Miss Chris

[SummerLynn]

Originally Posted by Miss Chris

I see its been a few days since this thread went up but I wanted to mention one other option.

Tell your doctor you think you might want 7 or 8 kids. Tell him you've always wanted a big family. Tell him whatever you think will help, just convince him that you intend to have a lot of kids, whether this is true or not.

The reason he's asking you (in an incredibly bizarre and insensitive way, btw) is that most doctors believe that a uterus can handle only so many c-sections before it becomes dangerously weakened. So it's not uncommon for an OB to try to determine whether a woman plans to have a large family when considering a VBAC. If there are lots more kids on the agenda the Doc might be more supportive of vaginal birth this time. If you can't leave the practice your only option really is to work with what you've got. I say lie like a rug. By the time you decide whether or not you really want more kids this guy will be just a happy memory.

Good luck

Miss Chris

Your right...and thanks. I'll tell him I'll have fifty kids if it means that I can have a natural birth.