i'm upset about DS "accident" in class(Update post #25) - Page 2

[meg-momto2]

the teacher called me back while i was getting DS from the bus stop. she called again later but didn't acknowledge my email when i we spoke. she was calling me because DS had punched his classmate for cutting in front of him. i don't know if i'll be able to find out what really happened with the music teacher. i'm going to be calling the school counselor tomorrow about his anger issues. i'll updated if i find anything out.

[lolar2]

Just FYI, if a student has a diagnosed condition such as incompetent bladder, that's covered under the various disability discrimination laws that govern school. So even with a class or exam that normally would not allow breaks, you can get a plan for services that includes unlimited instant bathroom breaks.

[rainyday]

I would want to check in with the principal of the school about an issue like this. Teachers should not be denying bathroom breaks to young children like that. Frankly, I don't think they should deny them to any age group as a blanket policy, but for young kids it shows an appalling lack of sensitivity to their physical and emotional needs and development.

Young primary kids are not at an age where they can plan ahead to go to the bathroom, and they should not have to deal with the social repercussions that can be caused by an accident that could have been avoided. At that age, a child may not need to go to the bathroom now but in ten minutes, they may desperately need to. Their sense of when they need to go and how long it will be until they need to go is not very developed.

I would want to address it with the principal because I would want assurance that the school does not advocate such a developmentally-inappropriate policy. If the principal could not give me that assurance, I would be speaking to my child's pediatrician and probably a pediatric urologist as well to get ammunition to get such a child-unfriendly policy overturned. I would also get a note from my child's pediatrician stating that my child needs to be able to use the bathroom as needed.

[rainyday]

Also, OP, don't let the teacher or school confuse your son's anger/hitting issue with the bathroom issue. They are separate, and the hitting should not have an effect on his right to use the bathroom.

[meg-momto2]

i've talked to both DS homeroom teacher and the music teacher. they both are saying that DS didn't have an accident in music class. the homeroom teacher couldn't tell me when it happened but it wasn't with her or in music class. we had a meeting today with the principal about DS behavior towards his classmates. i asked what the bathroom policy was for kinder classes. basically if they're not in homeroom(which has bathrooms in room) they can't go to the bathroom. they don't want them wandering the hallways. they said most kinder kids walk all the way back to homeroom and don't use the hallway bathrooms. i'm not happy about this rule but i guess i can understand why they have it. on the way home i asked DS to tell me how things happened and he still tells the same story. i don't know what to think. if we have to we'll get a doctors note for DS. he tends to hold it till it's almost to late but has not had an accident in years.

[ollyoxenfree]

Originally Posted by meg-momto2

basically if they're not in homeroom(which has bathrooms in room) they can't go to the bathroom. they don't want them wandering the hallways. they said most kinder kids walk all the way back to homeroom and don't use the hallway bathrooms.

Then I'm wondering what policies are in place to help remedy the dilemma of small children who need bathroom breaks frequently.

Do the teachers routinely remind the kiddies to use the bathroom in the homeroom shortly before they leave for another class? If not, could they start doing this? It should help a little.

What about bathroom/hallway buddies? In every school my children have attended, for safety reasons no child is allowed to leave a class by himself/herself. They always go as a pair - to the bathroom, to deliver or pick up something at the office or another classroom, etc.

There are always solutions to problems - they just have to be creative and willing to change a little.

[MCatLvrMom2A&X]

That would be unacceptable to me. I have a pet peeve about bathroom breaks if my kid comes up to a teacher and says they need to use the bathroom then the teacher had better find a way to make it happen. Holding urine is bad for the bladder and it causes accidents that can easily be avoided.

As soon as dd was old enough to understand I told her that if she needs to go and the teacher says no then she is to walk out of the room and go and if they say anything about it then I will be there to take care of it. She knows that she must really need to go and not just to be going somewhere.

I was never denied use of the bathrooms in school thank goodness but had I been my dad gave me the same direction as I have given my dd.

[boricuaqueen327]

Originally Posted by MCatLvrMom2A&X

That would be unacceptable to me. I have a pet peeve about bathroom breaks if my kid comes up to a teacher and says they need to use the bathroom then the teacher had better find a way to make it happen. Holding urine is bad for the bladder and it causes accidents that can easily be avoided.

As soon as dd was old enough to understand I told her that if she needs to go and the teacher says no then she is to walk out of the room and go and if they say anything about it then I will be there to take care of it. She knows that she must really need to go and not just to be going somewhere.

I was never denied use of the bathrooms in school thank goodness but had I been my dad gave me the same direction as I have given my dd.

I completely agree with this.

[rainyday]

Originally Posted by MCatLvrMom2A&X

That would be unacceptable to me. I have a pet peeve about bathroom breaks if my kid comes up to a teacher and says they need to use the bathroom then the teacher had better find a way to make it happen. Holding urine is bad for the bladder and it causes accidents that can easily be avoided.

As soon as dd was old enough to understand I told her that if she needs to go and the teacher says no then she is to walk out of the room and go and if they say anything about it then I will be there to take care of it. She knows that she must really need to go and not just to be going somewhere.

I was never denied use of the bathrooms in school thank goodness but had I been my dad gave me the same direction as I have given my dd.

: I told my ds the same thing.

[MattBronsil]

At one school I work at, the admin tried to tell me to not let the kids use the bathroom during class. I told her that's one rule I won't follow. She didn't like it, but that's how it is.

The only reason I WON'T let a kid go is if there's already someone in the bathroom. (There's only one bathroom on the floor and one toilet in there). Right as that kid comes back, I remind the other kid and ask if he/she still needs to go. I also remind them at the beginning of class, when they're putting down their homework, to go now if they have to go. That usually takes care of one or two of them.

If we're in the middle of something or we have only a few mins left of class, I ask if they can wait for a few minutes. They usually say yes and it's not a problem. If they say no, then they can go. Beyond a logical and moral reason, on a "saving face" level (very important in the Taiwanese culture), I'd rather explain why the kid missed 2 minutes of class time than why they're being sent home with poop-stained, wet pants if I'm at fault.

[octobermom]

That would be unacceptable to me. I have a pet peeve about bathroom breaks if my kid comes up to a teacher and says they need to use the bathroom then the teacher had better find a way to make it happen. Holding urine is bad for the bladder and it causes accidents that can easily be avoided.

I agree I don't mind a few simple rules and restrictions but this is going way too far all my DD classrooms open onto a common outside area and the bathrooms are another building located close to the kindergarden first grade class but still outside and away from the room. They may use the bathroom when needed at first an aid would help guide then but eventually they figured out how to do it alone (and of course there is always a teacher monitering the outside area for overall school safety and will help them back if needed) In addition they make sure to encourage use of potty before class starts in morning (8am) at end of recess (9:15) there Lunch time (10:30) and afternoon recess/break (around 1ish).
The only bathroom rules in place are 1) child at a time 2) no permission will be granted if say in the middle of a spelling test or right when teacher is giving dirrections bother these means maybe a 1-3 mintue wait.

Deanna

[CarrieMF]

basically if they're not in homeroom(which has bathrooms in room) they can't go to the bathroom. they don't want them wandering the hallways. they said most kinder kids walk all the way back to homeroom and don't use the hallway bathrooms.

When out of the class they're not allowed to go to the bathrooms but they walk to the homeroom to use it when not in the class?????

It sounds like they're not allowed to use the bathrooms in the hallways but CAN go to the bathroom when not in the homeroom. I get the point in not having the younger kids in the older kids bathrooms.

How often are they not in their homeroom? How far away is the homeroom from these other rooms? Are they given a chance to go to the bathroom before they leave the class? How long are they gone for?

[VBMama]

Originally Posted by meg-momto2

i've talked to both DS homeroom teacher and the music teacher. they both are saying that DS didn't have an accident in music class. the homeroom teacher couldn't tell me when it happened but it wasn't with her or in music class.

So if neither teacher knows when he had an accident, how did he get in his extra clothes? Are they kept somewhere the kids can change into them without an adult assisting them? That part is confusing to me.

[octobermom]

My DD had an accident towards the start of her kindergarden year it happens sometimes she was never denied. However the school imediently called me not just to see about a change of clothes (which I had packed for her) but just as a heads up to me and to help ensure that it happened that DD was okay ect. Honestly an accident would be something I'd want to know about frm the school eaither with a call or a note not sometime for my 5/6 year old to explain.

Deanna

[meg-momto2]

Originally Posted by CarrieMF

When out of the class they're not allowed to go to the bathrooms but they walk to the homeroom to use it when not in the class?????

It sounds like they're not allowed to use the bathrooms in the hallways but CAN go to the bathroom when not in the homeroom. I get the point in not having the younger kids in the older kids bathrooms.

How often are they not in their homeroom? How far away is the homeroom from these other rooms? Are they given a chance to go to the bathroom before they leave the class? How long are they gone for?

from what i've put together they usually stop for a bathroom break on the way to other classes(PE, art or music). DS claims this particular day they didn't. the whole school is connected with internal halls. it's a U shape layout with a court yard in the middle. there's no reason for any student to leave the building to get from room to room.

Originally Posted by VBMama

So if neither teacher knows when he had an accident, how did he get in his extra clothes? Are they kept somewhere the kids can change into them without an adult assisting them? That part is confusing to me.

he has extra clothes in his bag as the teacher requested. DS said the aid helped get his clothes out and then he changed in the bathroom. i still don't know if DS told someone or if one of them noticed and helped him.

Originally Posted by octobermom

My DD had an accident towards the start of her kindergarden year it happens sometimes she was never denied. However the school imediently called me not just to see about a change of clothes (which I had packed for her) but just as a heads up to me and to help ensure that it happened that DD was okay ect. Honestly an accident would be something I'd want to know about frm the school eaither with a call or a note not sometime for my 5/6 year old to explain.

Deanna

i'm peeve about that too. the lack of communication from his teacher is really bothering me. she didn't responded to my email last week. i haven't had any notes about his behavior until he punched another student. if i had know he was having so many problems i could have been working with him sooner. i have a feeling i'll be talking more with the school counselor then his teacher.

we'll be starting a program for him to help control his outburst. i'm also going to be calling about getting him into a behavioral specialist and maybe an evaluation from the school. there's a lot more going on here then just an accident. thanks for all the support ladies. i kind of feel like the crazy over protective mother. i just want him to be happy and enjoy school.